A few weeks ago, I received an interesting lesson about listening. It happened in an unexpected place: an old graveyard, in an out-of-the-way part of Boston, the city where I live. What I learned was something I had always known in theory; but standing among the old gravestones, it became much more real to me. I understood more deeply why listening to our relatives’ stories is so important—even the stories we’ve heard before, or the stories that don’t seem very consequential at the time. I realize that for some people, listening to an older relative telling a story that has been told many times isn’t terribly exciting. But sometimes, it’s not about the story. It’s about letting the person know you are willing to listen: that their experiences and their recollections still matter… that they themselves are still important and worth listening to. If I had ever met my great-great-grandfather in person, I know I would have wanted to hear about the old country, but I also would have wanted to know how he and my great-great-grandmother adapted to America, what challenges they encountered and how they dealt with them, what their hopes and dreams were, and so much more. I can only imagine the stories they had, stories I will never hear.
    几周前，我想明白了一个有趣的道理，关于“倾听”。我住在波士顿，城里有一片偏僻的老墓地，我就是在那儿悟到的，很难想象。理论上来说，倾听的重要性我早就明白，可那天，站在一个个老旧的墓碑中间，原本的陈词滥调却愈加真实。倾听亲人说话有多重要，在那一刻我才算深刻体味到。亲人口中的故事或许不是头一回讲了，或许放到今天都老掉牙了。有些人可能觉着，听年长的亲人一遍遍讲同一件事没什么趣儿。其实有时候，重要的不是故事本身，而是让亲人明白，我们愿意听他们说话，他们的经历和回忆依然宝贵，他们是很重要的人、值得我们倾听。倘若我能与曾曾曾祖父碰上一面，我不但会请他讲讲国家历史，还会央着他聊聊和曾曾曾祖母之间的故事。他们适应美国生活的过程，遇到了什么困难险阻，如何一个个克服，心中怀揣了怎样希望和梦想……等等等等，我都想知晓。可我与他们素未蒙面，又怎么听得到？只能想象他们经历的一切。

    And that’s why I wanted to share my experience with you, and the reminder I received about the importance of listening. So, if you have older relatives, take the time to listen to them while you still can. Let them tell their stories, even if you’ve heard them before. Get to know more about their past, so that when they are no longer here, you can be the repository of some of their favorite memories and tell their stories to others. In a way, that helps to keep them alive. And it helps to keep them from being forgotten. I’ve learned a lot from some of the stories I’ve heard: stories of disappointment, stories of resilience, stories of faith. I wish I could tell the stories of some of the people whose gravestones I saw. But that’s probably impossible. On the other hand, what is possible is learning from those people who are still with us, and letting them know we have the time to listen. While a lot of our lives are spent focused on the present and the future, sometimes it’s a worthwhile experience to make some time to listen to—and learn from—the past.
    所以我想和你们分享我的经历，分享我看到墓碑顿悟到了倾听的重要性。如果你有年长一点的亲属，趁着时间还来得及，听听他们说话吧。就算之前听过，也让他们说下去吧。多了解了解亲人的过去，当他们离开这个世界，最宝贵的回忆便托付给了你，再由你将故事口耳相传下去。如此，逝者已逝，精神却依然鲜活，永志不忘。我听过很多故事，有的以失望收场，有的展现精神力量，有的贯穿信仰，我从中也学到许多。看着墓碑，我也希望能替埋入地下的人们讲讲他们的故事。可惜办不到。换个角度，我们现在还能做的，就是讨教身边尚在世的人，让他们明白，我们有时间听他们说话。我们生命的大部分时间都专注于现在和未来，时不时停下来听一听过去的声音，学一些东西，也不失为有意义的事情。