1 to 1 Live Writing Lesson sample by KooSchool Tutors

English Tutor Charles give Luke’s Essay the following feedback:

Luke writes very well but needs more practice on his past tenses, the usage of articles, modifiers and action verbs. He made a few spelling mistakes, but that can be corrected easily due to his age. He’s a wonderful boy.

Luke, 8 years old

Luke’s original essay：

Chinese New Year
**
I have a happy festival at 2018, I was in market with my mom and dad. The market was at Guang Zhou.

I and my mom were

shop on that market for my birthday. My dad and I were eat dinner, after dinner we play with our fireworks. Then we ated my birthday cake with my mom. We played with my legos, (blocks), but my bad didn’t know how to make a tank. So I has to help him to finish building legos. At last we readed books and floded air planes, my mon said,” let’s go to bed”.
I had a wonderful night in my whole life! I wish I could have another present for my holidays and Chinese New Year is my favorite holiday.

Tutor Charles help Luke edit the Essay in the live lesson. His essay has a big improvement after the editing. Here is the finial version and the red part is the modified content.

Chinese New Year (Spring Festival)

I had a happy festival in 2018, I was at the market with my mom and dad. The market was in Guang Zhou.

My mom and I were shopping at the that market for my birthday. My dad and I were eating dinner, after dinner we played with our fireworks. Then we ate my birthday cake with my mom. We played with my Legos, (blocks), we built a tank, but my dad didn’t know how to build a tank. So I had to help him finish building the Lego’s tank. At last we read a few books, and we made and flew airplanes, then my mom said, “let’s go to bed”.

I had the most wonderful night in my whole life! Because it was my birthday and my family and I did a lot of things together. I wish I could get another present for my birthday, and Chinese New Year (Spring Festival), is my favorite holiday, because this holiday is very long.

By Luke (8 years old)

Note: Student must pay attention to： Articles: a, an, the

Here is the writing lesson playback by Charles:

Here is another recorded video made by Tutor Debby who also provide feedback to student’s original essay:

Welcome any feedback or comment that you think could improve our online writing lesson series！Please contact this email if you want to reach us:

Cathy@kooreader.net

2020.01.08