rick 0205

高尔夫变简单了\N{\fs }Hey, golf is easy now!
哦不 现在又变难了 变难了\N{\fs }Aah! Golf is hard again! Golf is hard again!
这里的景象跟你那边一样\N{\fs }The view from here is the same as yours, Jim.
地球上空出现一个巨大的脑袋\N{\fs }A giant head has entered earth’s gravity,
引发了我们认为至少八年内不可能发生的\N{\fs }triggering climate change and natural disasters
气候变化和生态灾难\N{\fs }we thought were impossible for at least another eight years.
世界尽”头”?!
别扯到政治上去 Terry\N{\fs }Let’s not make this political, Terry.
这颗巨头表明来意了吗\N{\fs }Do we know what this giant head wants?
让我看看你们的能耐\N{\fs }Show me what you got.
Jim 你听见 说”让我看看你的能耐”\N{\fs }Jim, you heard the… Said “Show me what you got.”
让我看看你的能耐\N{\fs }Show me what you got.
我想知道你有什么本事\N{\fs }I want to see what you got.
该出发了Morty\N{\fs }Oh, boy. Time to go, Morty.
去哪\N{\fs }Uh, where?
五角大楼\N{\fs }The Pentagon.
不是那个五角大楼\N{\fs }I mean, not the Pentagon.
是在地球的那个比较菜的\N{\fs }The lame one here on earth.
那就是上帝吗\N{\fs }Is it God?
如果是的话 那我可不可以不上学了\N{\fs }If it’s God, do we get out of school?
那不是上帝 Summer\N{\fs }It’s not God, Summer.
只要她愿意 她完全可以认为是上帝呀 亲爱的\N{\fs }She’s allowed to think it’s God if she wants, honey.
- 闭嘴 - 好\N{\fs }- Shut up, Jerry. - Okay.
老爸 你知道什么\N{\fs }Dad, what do you know about this?
我们俩正要去调查\N{\fs }Morty and I are going to look into it.
你们先等着\N{\fs }You guys hold tight.
挺恐怖吧 这诡异的玩意\N{\fs }Scary stuff, huh? Pretty freaky.
我是Morty的数学老师\N{\fs }Hi. I’m Morty’s math teacher.
我也是街道小组的成员\N{\fs }I’m also part of the street team inviting folks
我们邀请大家去市区的教堂一起祈祷\N{\fs }to the church downtown so we can pray together.
祈祷有什么用\N{\fs }How is praying going to help?
女士 天气都被那个大脑袋控制了\N{\fs }Ma’am, a giant head in the sky is controlling the weather.
你难道想玩西洋跳棋吗 现实一点\N{\fs }Did you want to play checkers? Let’s be rational!
我们教堂见\N{\fs }I’ll see you at God’s house!
诸位 一个一个来 Simon你说\N{\fs }Gentlemen, gentlemen! One at a time! Simon?
SETI NORAD以及地球上所有的广播电台\N{\fs }SETI, NORAD, and every broadcaster on the planet
都正在尝试向这个生物展示人类的种种\N{\fs }are attempting to show this being what humanity’s got—
弦理论 世界历史 人类基因组\N{\fs }String theory, world history, the human genome—
你们有没有试过启动核按钮\N{\fs }Have you tried sending it launch codes?
总统阁下 美国的能耐\N{\fs }Mr. President, what America’s got
就在那七万个兆吨级核弹里\N{\fs }is , megatons of kaboom-boom,
我建议把核弹扔到那大头的屁股里让他见识一下\N{\fs }and I say we show it right up this floating head’s ass.
不行 你得让我先说完\N{\fs }No, you need to let me talk!
都闭嘴\N{\fs }Shut up!
站住 不许动\N{\fs }Hold it! Don’t move!
别过来 我的手表能把人变成蛇\N{\fs }Stay back! This watch turns people into snakes!
退下 都退下\N{\fs }Stand down! Everybody, stand down!
我是这里的负责人 我没有武器\N{\fs }I’m the leader of these people, and I’m unarmed.
别再把谁变成蛇了\N{\fs }There’s no need for any more snake-makery.
我叫Rick Sanchez\N{\fs }My name is Rick Sanchez.
这是我的孙子Morty\N{\fs }This here is my grandson, Morty.
- 你好 - 你好\N{\fs }- Hi, Morty. - Hey.
老夫游历太空 见识博大\N{\fs }I’ve seen enough of the galaxy to know what we’ve got here
这个巨头是西格纳斯第五星域的克鲁星人\N{\fs }is a cromulon from the signus five expanse.
不用上什么核弹 也不用讲什么数学\N{\fs }So you can forget about nukes, and you can forget about math.
我们不给他表演\N{\fs }This head won’t go away
一首金曲的话\N{\fs }until Earth shows them it’s got…
他是不会走的\N{\fs }A hit song.
唱歌 我们不可能\N{\fs }A hit song? We can’t possibly—
- 古典音乐吗 - 不是\N{\fs }- You mean like Vivaldi? - No, Frasier.
上口的原创新歌现场表演\N{\fs }A live performance of a newly written, catchy original song.
克鲁星人摄取低等生命形式的才艺\N{\fs }The cromulon feed on the talent and showmanship
得以生存\N{\fs }of less-evolved life-forms.
好的 谢谢你Sanchez先生\N{\fs }All right, all right. Thank you, Mr. Sanchez.
计划有变 各位\N{\fs }Change of plan, people.
把Pharrell和Randy Newman和Billy Corgan和The Dream找来\N{\fs }Get me Pharrell, Randy Newman, Billy Corgan, and The-Dream.
你们没听说过The Dream吗\N{\fs }The-Dream?
他写了和两首歌\N{\fs }He wrote “Umbrella” And “Single Ladies”?
没听过吗\N{\fs }You people haven’t heard of The-Dream?
你们得用 军区的声波测试设备\N{\fs }You’re gonna want to put them on that giant speaker system
上面的扬声器才行\N{\fs }at your Sonic testing facility at Area .
你怎么知道 军区的\N{\fs }How do you know about that?
你自己想想 Nathan 他都能把人变成蛇\N{\fs }For God’s sake, Nathan, the man turns people into snakes.
还不会用谷歌地图吗\N{\fs }He can use Google Maps.
阁下 Pharrell Newman Corgan还有那个Dream的人\N{\fs }Sir, Pharrell, Newman, Corgan, and that Dream guy—
- 他们都死了 - 什么\N{\fs }- They’re all dead. - What?
怎么可能 难不成我叫谁谁就死吗\N{\fs }How is that possible? Do people just die when I name them?
在颁格莱美奖 阁下\N{\fs }The Grammys, sir.
巨头引发了一场地震 所有的音乐人\N{\fs }There was an earthquake and… all the musicians,
那些有名气的 都死了\N{\fs }all the famous ones… they’re gone.
天呐\N{\fs }Dear God.
等等 阁下\N{\fs }Hold on, sir. Just a minute.
Ice T活下来了\N{\fs }Ice-T survived.
他正乘战斗机来这里 预计两小时后到达\N{\fs }He’s inbound on an F- , E.T.A. Two hours.
祝你好运 总统阁下\N{\fs }Good luck, Mr. President.
地球的磁场要翻转了\N{\fs }Sir, the magnetic poles are about to reverse.
两小时后地球可能就不存在了\N{\fs }In two hours, there may not be an Earth to save.
Sanchez 你玩音乐吗\N{\fs }Sanchez? Are you a musician?
稍有涉猎\N{\fs }I dabble, Mr. President.
带他们坐直升机去 军区\N{\fs }Get this man and his grandson on a black hawk to Area .
大家冷静 保持镇定\N{\fs }People! Everyone! Remain calm!
每一次信仰的危机都是一次重聚更多信仰的机会\N{\fs }Every crisis of faith is an opportunity for more faith.
上帝给你发了一手 不要摊牌(指Blackjack 即二十一点)\N{\fs }When God deals you an , you don’t fold!
要双倍下注\N{\fs }You double down!
在软手 点的时候 一定要拿牌(A可以算作 或 软手即算 )\N{\fs }And always hit on a soft .
说你呢 犹太佬\N{\fs }That means you, Jews.
恕我冒犯 牧师 但是刚才我看外面的情况\N{\fs }I beg your pardon, pastor, but the last I looked outside,
看上去你手上的牌挺差的\N{\fs }it seems to be you that’s been dealt the weak hand.
犹太人最高\N{\fs }Jews rule!
没人回应吗 好吧这教堂真行\N{\fs }Nobody? Okay, tough church.
大家好 我是阴道校长\N{\fs }Hi. Principal Vagina—
这是真名 可能是斯堪的纳维亚那边的\N{\fs }The name’s real, possibly Scandinavian.
我要站出来发表以下言论\N{\fs }I’m just gonna come out and make this pitch—
旧神已死\N{\fs }The old Gods are dead.
[哔]以前的宗教\N{\fs }[bleep] all previous existing religions.
天空中的巨头才是真神 向他致敬\N{\fs }All hail the one true God—The giant head in the sky.
- 上帝的子民们 - 啦啦啦你闭嘴\N{\fs }- Children of God! - Ah-ta-ta-ta!
我理解你的心情 Bob\N{\fs }Bob, Bob, I get it.
但是除非这十字架能胜过那巨头\N{\fs }But unless this can beat that,
你最近又为我做了什么呢\N{\fs }what have you done for me lately?
你们不介意的话 我要到外面的人行道上\N{\fs }So, if you’ll all excuse me, I’m going out onto the sidewalk,
朝天跪拜 许以我永恒的灵魂\N{\fs }I’m dropping to my knees, and pledging my eternal soul
给那个真正在控制[哔]天气的东西\N{\fs }to the thing that literally controls the [bleep] weather.
别挡道\N{\fs }Out of my way.
好吧\N{\fs }Okay.
如果诸位已经回复些理智\N{\fs }If sanity’s been restored to this assembly,
我想说一下修理新风琴的费用\N{\fs }I’d like to talk about the cost of repairing our new organ.
Sally 请拿出募捐盘\N{\fs }Sally, the plate, please.
我最喜欢这部分了\N{\fs }Oh! This is my favorite part!
- 你真的玩音乐吗Rick - 谁不会玩一点音乐呢\N{\fs }- Rick, are you really a musician? - Who’s not a musician, Morty?
- 我啊 - 你那态度也难成气候\N{\fs }- Me! - Yeah, not with that attitude.
到空降区了 我是降落指挥官\N{\fs }We’re in the drop zone! I’m the jumpmaster!
我叫Jamey 结尾是ey\N{\fs }My name’s Jamey, with an e-y!
上啊 要跳了\N{\fs }Go, go, go!
但歌我们还没准备好呢\N{\fs }B-but—But we don’t have a song!
空中的巨头 请原谅我们做过的一切\N{\fs }Giant head in the sky, please forgive all that we’ve done.
原谅我们的排放量越来越大\N{\fs }We’re sorry for our increased levels of emissions
种族歧视 当然还有我一直无视\N{\fs }and our racism and, of course, the Amber Alerts
手机上的安珀警报(儿童绑架警戒资讯系统)\N{\fs }I keep ignoring on my phone.
哇\N{\fs }Whoa!
好了Morty 我们来 来把这事搞定\N{\fs }All right, Morty. Let’s get— let’s do it.
你在那个键盘上按个钮\N{\fs }Why don’t you, uh, find a button on one of those keyboards
给我起个节奏\N{\fs }and lay down some kind of beat?
我觉得咱们还是避免更大的损失\N{\fs }Rick, I think we need to cut our losses.
带上家人用传送枪赶紧跑吧\N{\fs }W-we get our family and portal out of here!
放松的人才能写出好的音乐\N{\fs }Morty, good music comes from people who are relaxed.
快按个按钮 Morty 给我来个节奏\N{\fs }Just hit a button, Morty! Give me a beat!
好 好吧\N{\fs }Oh, man. Okay. All right, um…
哦耶\N{\fs }Oh, yeah
你得渴爽嗨起来\N{\fs }You gotta get schwifty.
在这你要渴爽嗨\N{\fs }You gotta get schwifty in here.
现在就要变渴爽嗨 哦哦\N{\fs }It’s time to get schwifty, Uh-oh.
“渴爽嗨”是什么玩意\N{\fs }Get “Schwifty”? What the hell is that?
是我们这颗星球最大的努力\N{\fs }It’s our world’s best effort. That’s what.
裤子裤衩脱脱下 地板上面拉粑粑\N{\fs }Take off your pants and your panties. Shit on the floor
现在快要渴爽嗨\N{\fs }Time to get schwifty in here.
我是Bulldops先生\N{\fs }I’m Mr. Bulldops.
“Bulldops先生”又是哪来的\N{\fs }”Mr. Bulldops”?
别追究这个了Nathan 管用就成\N{\fs }Don’t analyze it, Nathan. It’s working!
地板上面拉粑粑\N{\fs }Take a shit on the floor
现在快要渴爽嗨\N{\fs }Time to get schwifty in here.
第三级捐赠者可以获得无限制家庭通行证\N{\fs }and third-level donors get our all-access family pass.
你们听 风暴停止了\N{\fs }Listen! The storm is stopping!
快脱掉裤子\N{\fs }Hey, take your pants off
今天定要渴爽嗨\N{\fs }It’s schwifty time today.
请对我们仁慈 我们只是微不足道\N{\fs }Please be kind to us, for we are but tiny things
完全依附于你的存在\N{\fs }with entire bodies, stuck to your ground.
我喜欢你的才华 干得好\N{\fs }I like what you got! Good job!
- 耶 - 太棒了\N{\fs }- Yeah! - Whoo!
我们做到了\N{\fs }We did it!
真是新鲜 他竟然说对了\N{\fs }What do you know? He was right!
- Vagina校长万岁 - 我接受你的膜拜\N{\fs }- Hooray Principal Vagina! - Yeah, I’ll take it.
先别急 我们理智一些\N{\fs }Now, hold on a second! Let’s be rational about this.
不不 我只是说\N{\fs }No, I’m— I’m just saying,
我们还不能确定这两者存在因果关系\N{\fs }we don’t know there’s a cause-effect relationship…
我的天呐\N{\fs }Oh, my God!
- 这是什么情况 - 我的天\N{\fs }- What is going on now?! - Whoa! Whoa!
到底怎么回事\N{\fs }What the hell happened?
总统阁下 你得看看这个\N{\fs }Mr. President, you’re gonna want to see this.
这个星球刚刚被传送了\N{\fs }I think planet Earth has just been transported.
巨头离开了 但是把他的孩子送来了\N{\fs }The head has left and sent its children.
我靠\N{\fs }Holy crap!
尊贵的巨头们 我们为刚才的言论道歉\N{\fs }Oh, dear giant head, we apologize for that discussion.
这种事不会有第二次了\N{\fs }It will never happen again.
尊贵的巨头们\N{\fs }Oh, dear—Oh, dear giant head…
阁下 我们收到了一个乱码信号\N{\fs }Sir, we started picking up on a garbled signal.
正在破译中\N{\fs }We’re decrypting it now.
我们让他们展现自己的能耐 他们都照做了\N{\fs }We asked them to show us what they got, and they did.
现在我们看看谁最好\N{\fs }Now we’ll see which of them has got the most.
小时 颗行星 首歌\N{\fs } hours, planets, songs.
最终只能剩下一个\N{\fs }But in the end, there can only be one…
行星好音乐\N{\fs }Planet music!
所有参与者均非自愿\N{\fs }All participation is involuntary.
不合格而输掉的星球会被等离子射线瓦解\N{\fs }Disqualified and losing planets are disintegrated by plasma ray.
这时候说这个好像不太好\N{\fs }Uh, it’s probably a bad time to mention it,
但是在轨道上的宇航员肯定是死光了\N{\fs }but any astronauts you guys had in orbit are definitely dead.
欢迎回到行星好音乐\N{\fs }Welcome back to “Planet Music”!
首先 来自Parblesnop星的\N{\fs }First up, let’s hear the latest song
最新歌曲 The Greeby Bobes\N{\fs }from planet Parblesnops’, The Greeby Bobes!
给我看看你们的本事\N{\fs }Show me what you got!
等等 停下\N{\fs }Hold it, hold it. Stop.
音乐不在于竞争或是囚禁\N{\fs }Music isn’t about competition or captivity.
爱音乐即是爱自由\N{\fs }If you love music, you love freedom.
请让这些星球重返自由\N{\fs }Let these worlds be free! Please!
不合格\N{\fs }Disqualified.
每季都有一这样的\N{\fs }There’s one every season.
下一个星球 Arboles Mentirosos\N{\fs }Moving on to planet Arboles Mentirosos.
Arboles Mentirosos人 快给我们看看\N{\fs }Arbolian Mentirososians, show us what you got!
来 二 三 四\N{\fs }A , , !
Rick Morty Ice-T 时间表提前了\N{\fs }Rick, Morty, Ice-T, the timetable’s moved up.
地球六小时之后上场\N{\fs }Earth’s on in six hours.
还嫌我们的压力不够大吗\N{\fs }Like we’re not already under enough pressure?!
Morty 他也是照例行事而已 淡定点\N{\fs }Geez, Morty, the guy’s just doing his job. Take it easy.
你们俩能别这么淡定吗\N{\fs }Rick, Ice-T, could you guys take it less easy?!
我们要用六小时来写出一首歌\N{\fs }We’ve got six hours to come up with a song!
灵感都是即刻诞生的 Morty\N{\fs }Genius happens in the moment, Morty.
至少见见我们家里人吧\N{\fs }Well, can we at least go get our family?
把他们带上\N{\fs }You know, so we can take them—
如果输了 至少把他们一起带走\N{\fs }With u— With us if we lose?
别为失败做打算\N{\fs }That’s planning for failure, Morty.
比庸常的打算还要愚蠢\N{\fs }Even dumber than regular planning.
蛋蛋哟\N{\fs }Balls.
停下 Morty 听我说\N{\fs }Morty, Morty, stop. Listen.
这玩意儿没多少电了\N{\fs }There’s only so much charge left in this thing.
如果我们传送回家再回来\N{\fs }If we portal home from here and back,
就没有足够的电量离开这颗星球了\N{\fs }we’re not gonna have enough charge left to get off world.
- 明白吗 - 什么\N{\fs }- Get it? - What?!
知道不\N{\fs }Yeah. You see?
我这是不让你知道某些残酷的现实\N{\fs }I try to shelter you from certain realities, Morty,
如果我放任你把我也搞紧张\N{\fs }because if I let you make me nervous,
我们就渴爽嗨不起来了\N{\fs }then we can’t get schwifty.
说得还挺像回事儿的 这话就是你瞎编的\N{\fs }Stop saying it like it’s a thing! You made it up!
Morty呀 不能不能请你舔舔我的\N{\fs }Hey, Morty, could you lick my…
蛋蛋哟 蛋蛋哟\N{\fs }Balls, balls…
Rick 停下 不好笑\N{\fs }Rick, cut it out! It’s not funny, Rick!
真是够了 这些家伙也只不过是单曲神话而已\N{\fs }I’ve seen enough. These guys are one-hit wonders.
那你打算怎么办呢 将军\N{\fs }And what’s your plan, general?
我们还可以选择核弹\N{\fs }We still have the nuclear option.
听我的 我们可以朝天上\N{\fs }On my word, we can launch a missile
所有的脑袋来一发核弹\N{\fs }at every one of those heads in the sky.
我们的星球被困在了现场选秀里面\N{\fs }Our planet’s held captive on a live game show,
你的办法就是超观众射导弹\N{\fs }and your solution is to shoot the audience?
要是我们熬过了这关 你大可以继续相信核弹\N{\fs }You can put your faith in nukes if we get through this, general.
但在此之前我会选择相信Rick与Morty\N{\fs }Until then, I’ll put mine in Rick and Morty.
“渴嗨爽”是即兴佳作\N{\fs }”Get Schwifty” Was a jam.
您好 没错\N{\fs }Hello? Yes, sir, yeah.
谢谢您\N{\fs }Eh, thank you, sir. Thank you.
他说他对我们做的一切感到骄傲\N{\fs }He says he’s proud of what we’re doing
并且希望我们庆祝一次升天节\N{\fs }and hopes we have a great ascension festival!
- 升天节快乐 - 升天节快乐\N{\fs }- Happy ascension! - Happy ascension!
我们赶紧打包走人吧\N{\fs }We should pack up and leave town now.
我觉得咱们社区在努力应对恐惧挺好的呀\N{\fs }I think it’s inspiring that our community is coping with fear
还是用过节 吃自制冰激凌的办法 \N{\fs }in a way that involves a festival and homemade ice cream.
要是你不是这么个福音无神论\N{\fs }If you’d stop being such an Evangelical atheist,
说不定你现在都开心死了\N{\fs }you might start enjoying yourself.
看看你\N{\fs }Whoa! Look at you!
你都戴帽子什么的啦\N{\fs }You’re wearing the hat and everything!
还有你们的\N{\fs }Here’s yours!
妈 今晚可不可以让我来做饭\N{\fs }Mom, do you mind if I cook dinner tonight?
可以呀 慢着 啥\N{\fs }Yeah, sure. Wait. What?
我爱你们 你们赐予我生命\N{\fs }I love you guys. You gave me life.
而且众头的旨意\N{\fs }And it’s the will of the many heads
是孩子都必须尊敬父母\N{\fs }that all children honor their parents.
做晚饭听着很好啊\N{\fs }Dinner sounds nice.
不好意思 史密斯先生 太太\N{\fs }Pardon, Mr. And Mrs. Smith.
Summer 升天节你来吗\N{\fs }Summer, are you coming to the ascension?
父亲 我们可以去升天节吗\N{\fs }Father, can we please go to the ascension?
当然 我们去升天节吧\N{\fs }Sure! Let’s go to the ascension.
升天节到底是什么\N{\fs }Wh-wh-what is it?
我们在此将被厌弃者送上天空\N{\fs }We hereby send these unwantables skyward
使他们或将被众头吸入\N{\fs }that they might be inhaled by the many heads,
{\fn黑体\fs \shad \frz . \move( , , , , , )\ c&H F A B&}小偷
{\fn黑体\fs \shad \ c&H F A B&\frz . \move( , , , )}小偷
{\fn黑体\fs \shad \ c&H F A B&\move( , , , , , )}哥特人
{\fn黑体\fs \shad \ c&H F A B&\move( , , , , , )}哥特人
{\fn黑体\fs \shad \ c&H F A B&\move( , , , , , )}电影院里\N说话的人\N
{\fn黑体\fs \shad \ c&H F A B&\move( , , , )}电影院里\N说话的人\N
{\fn黑体\fs \shad \ c&H F A B&\move( , , , , , )}电影院里\N说话的人\N
再被喷嚏送回来 新生为婴儿 成为更好的人\N{\fs }later to be sneezed back to us as better babies.
朝着头 升去吧\N{\fs }Headward, free now to rise.
朝着头 升去吧\N{\fs }Headward, free now to rise.
朝着头 升去吧\N{\fs }Headward, free now to rise.
升去那些巨头吧\N{\fs }Oh, yes! Yes! Rise to the giant head!
你们可以获得自由\N{\fs }You are free to be free!
橡胶扫帚从车库里走过来\N{\fs }And squeegee comes up from the garage, right?
但他一只手上是龙虾\N{\fs }But he’s got a lobster in one hand,
另外一只手里是电影票 然后说”准备好啦”\N{\fs }the movie tickets in the other, he’s like, “I’m ready!”
你要拿着龙虾去看钢铁侠 啊\N{\fs }You gonna take a lobster to see “Iron Man “?
Ice-T\N{\fs }Ice-T!
靠\N{\fs }Ah, damn.
原味的Fig Newton饼吃完了\N{\fs }We’re out of original-flavor fig Newtons.
反正我也该走了\N{\fs }I should get going anyway.
等着 别啊\N{\fs }Wait, wait, wait! C-come on.
等下啊 等下\N{\fs }H-hold on a second. Hold on.
- 啥 - 我靠\N{\fs }- What?! - Damn.
你都没说你还带着传送门枪啥的\N{\fs }You didn’t tell me you [bleep] around with portals and shit.
够了\N{\fs }That’s it!
哇哦 Morty 给我\N{\fs }Whoa, whoa, Morty! Give me that.
你骗人 你骗我说没电了\N{\fs }You lied! You lied about the charge!
你只是懒而已\N{\fs }You were just being lazy!
回来 坐下\N{\fs }Get back! Sit down!
Morty 放下\N{\fs }Morty, just put it down.
你不明白你在做什么\N{\fs }You don’t know what you’re doing.
我要去找妈和爸\N{\fs }I’m going to go find mom and dad!
别\N{\fs }No!
[哔]的\N{\fs }Oh [bleep]!
[哔]的\N{\fs }Oh [bleep].
[哔]的\N{\fs }Oh [bleep] .
然后Ehtan弹吉他 我们\N{\fs }And then Ethan played guitar, and we learned
一遍唱一遍学习了巨头的七深思\N{\fs }the seven contemplations of the head by singing them.
真的很开心\N{\fs }It was really fun.
赞美巨头\N{\fs }Praise be the head!
赞美\N{\fs }Praise be the… Yeah.
大家好 我是阴道牧师长\N{\fs }Hi, folks. Head Priest Vagina.
感谢大家种土豆\N{\fs }Thanks for farming all those potatoes.
现在是晚上六点 家长们\N{\fs } P.M., so if you’re a parent,
可以享受子女们的爱了\N{\fs }you’re now entitled to adoration from your children.
我去准备晚饭\N{\fs }I’m going to start dinner!
我也不知道说什么好 Summer现在表现得真好\N{\fs }I don’t know what to say. Summer is doing really well here.
她的土豆课全都得了A\N{\fs }She’s aced every test in potato class,
看看土豆现在是多么重要呀\N{\fs }and look how important potatoes have become.
没有怀孕 没嗑药 也没过了宵禁才回家\N{\fs }She’s not getting pregnant or doing drugs or missing curfew.
帮帮我 只要努力你能够到我的\N{\fs }Please help me. You can reach me if you try.
帮帮我\N{\fs }Please help me!
只要Summer好 这些都不关我们的事\N{\fs }That’s not our business as long as Summer is thriving.
吃玉米卷啦\N{\fs }Taco time!
希望能让你们开心 如巨头所愿 \N{\fs }I hope it pleases you as the head desires.
真好 Summer\N{\fs }That’s wonderful, Summer.
我们为你感到骄傲\N{\fs }We’re so proud of you.
但你真的不用每天都做晚饭的\N{\fs }But obviously you don’t have to make dinner every night.
我必须要 笨蛋\N{\fs }Of course I do, silly!
天啊 爸 对不起我管你叫笨蛋了\N{\fs }Oh, my God, daddy! I’m sorry I called you silly!
真的对不起\N{\fs }I’m so sorry!
天上的巨头 颅形的创造者\N{\fs }Heavenly heads and cranial creator,
原谅我忤逆我的父母和社群\N{\fs }forgive my transgressions against family and community.
愿工作使我完整 一如我将它们规整\N{\fs }May my chores complete me as I complete them.
- Morty - 鸟人\N{\fs }- Morty. - Birdperson?
你似乎要死了\N{\fs }You appear to be dying.
我会尽力不让你死去 但我不敢保证\N{\fs }I will make efforts to prevent this but can promise nothing.
你怎么看 ice 是不是有点太过了\N{\fs }Wh-what do you think, ice? Probably a little overdeveloped.
太过了 太简单 \N{\fs }Shit, overdeveloped, underdeveloped—
烂歌就是烂 没区别\N{\fs }A bad song’s a bad song.
那是不是 或许\N{\fs }Well, do you think, maybe—
你能帮我一下呢\N{\fs }Could you give me some help with it, or…?
算了吧\N{\fs }Aw, hell no, man.
你干你的 我可经受不起\N{\fs }You do your thing, but I can’t afford to
拿我的名声给你的陪葬\N{\fs }get my pride wrapped up in your shame.
懂吗\N{\fs }You know what I’m saying?
Ice 不是我要这么消极啊\N{\fs }Ice, I don’t want to be a negative Nelly or anything,
但是如果Morty不带着传送枪回来\N{\fs }but if Morty doesn’t come back with my portal gun
然后我唱砸了\N{\fs }and I eat it out there,
你也有麻烦的\N{\fs }it’s, uh, you know, kind of your problem, too.
切 我一点都不担心地球被炸掉的事\N{\fs }Pfft! I ain’t worried about no earth blowing up, man.
啊 为什么\N{\fs }What? Why not?
因为这\N{\fs }Yo, this is why.
我[哔] 你能变成冰\N{\fs }What the [bleep] you can turn into ice?
我的故事始于时间之初\N{\fs }My story begins at the dawn of time
在遥远的字母表之域\N{\fs }in the faraway realm of alphabetrium.
所有的存在都是字母表上的一个字母\N{\fs }There, every being is a letter of the alphabet.
但我被亲人冻结 放逐 作为惩罚\N{\fs }But I was frozen and exiled to the cosmos by my elders
因为我什么都不在乎\N{\fs }as punishment for not caring enough about anything.
地球只不过是我停歇的一小站\N{\fs }Earth is just one of my many stops
我一生的旅程不会有终点\N{\fs }on a lifelong journey with no destination.
你最好搞清楚 地球炸了 我一点都不在乎\N{\fs }So you better believe I don’t care if it blows up,
我只是一块漂流于宇宙的冰\N{\fs }because I’ll just be ice floating through space,
像一颗彗星\N{\fs }like a comet.
听我说 ice 你不能\N{\fs }Take it from me, ice, you can’t just
漂流宇宙 什么都不在乎\N{\fs }float around space not caring about stuff forever.
切 看着\N{\fs }Pfft. Man, watch me.
好运 Rick\N{\fs }Good luck, Rick.
好吧 事态失控了\N{\fs }Okay, things are getting out of hand.
我要确保Rick有他需要的一切 好渴爽嗨起来\N{\fs }I better make sure Rick has everything he needs to get schwifty.
真是够了\N{\fs }Oh, for God’s sakes. That’s enough.
你在干什么Nathan\N{\fs }What the hell are you doing, Nathan?!
我可是[哔]的美国总统\N{\fs }I’m the goddamn president of the United [bleep] States!
我要把核弹设置成\N{\fs }I’m setting the nuclear option to launch
地球表演开场一分钟后发射\N{\fs }one minute into earth’s performance.
至于你 总统\N{\fs }And you, Mr. President…
希望你喜欢被一枪砸脸上\N{\fs }I hope you like being hit in the face with a gun.
等等 为 为什\N{\fs }Wait, wait, wait. Why— why—
我应该能读取Rick的传送枪的历史记录\N{\fs }I believe I can access the history of Rick’s gun
帮你们团聚\N{\fs }and help you get back to him.
你能把我送到我的家人那里吗\N{\fs }But can you help me get to my family?
就是我家\N{\fs }You know, at— at my house?
你想用Rick的传送枪弃他而去吗\N{\fs }Is your intention to abandon Rick using his own portal gun?
在鸟的文化里 这很混球的\N{\fs }In bird culture, this is considered a dick move.
Rick的所有作为都很混球\N{\fs }All of Rick’s moves are dick moves!
我 我吃的是什么东西\N{\fs }What— What am I eating?
这 这是鸟食吗\N{\fs }Wh-what is this, bird— birdseed?
乱七八糟的碎渣 从我毯子里弄出来的\N{\fs }It is random debris. I found it in my carpet.
我不知道人类吃什么\N{\fs }I don’t know what humans eat.
- 你知道我”吃”什么 - 别恶心人 Tammy\N{\fs }- You know what this human eats. - Don’t be gross, Tammy.
鸟[哔]\N{\fs }Bird [bleep].
真恶心\N{\fs }Tammy, gross.
鸟人 你总是为Rick出头\N{\fs }Birdperson, you always stick up for Rick,
但是他只在乎他自己\N{\fs }but he doesn’t care about anyone but himself.
而且做事从不考虑后果\N{\fs }He doesn’t think about the consequences of anything he does.
所以他才有\N{\fs }And as a result, he has the power
拯救或者毁灭世界的能力\N{\fs }to save or destroy entire worlds.
你我也是因他而相识\N{\fs }And he is the reason you and I know each other…
也是因为他 我现在才活着\N{\fs }And the reason I’m alive at all.
那是怎么回事 那个婴儿是谁\N{\fs }What’s that? Who’s that baby?
Morty 假使你设法把家人从地球救走\N{\fs }Morty, suppose you could retrieve your family from Earth
但要抛弃Rick\N{\fs }but had to abandon Rick.
我可以为你的家人提供住所\N{\fs }I could give your loved ones shelter on birdworld,
甚至工作 比如在农场养虫子\N{\fs }even jobs, possibly as worm ranchers.
你难道不会时常仰望星空\N{\fs }How often do you think you might look up at the stars
试想当初如果选择相信Rick\N{\fs }and wonder what might have been
这一切又是何等情形吗\N{\fs }had you just put your faith in Rick?
以上是胖墩鼓手带来的\N{\fs }That was Chunkytunk with
“满蠢蠢 空饕坞”\N{\fs }”Full Ming Mong, Empty Gorbdork.”
接下来是地球\N{\fs }Up next, planet Earth!
该我们了\N{\fs }Oh, God! We’re up?!
Jerry Beth 你们家完美诠释了\N{\fs }Jerry and Beth, your family is a golden example
巨头教要展示给世界看的东西\N{\fs }of what headism has to offer the world.
- 世界吗 - 巨头教现在正流行\N{\fs }- The world? - Headism is a hit.
我们打算走向全世界 并且想让Jerry\N{\fs }We’re taking it worldwide, and we’d like Jerry to be
出任教堂的广告宣传部长\N{\fs }our church’s head of advertising.
你说真的吗\N{\fs }You would?
Beth 我们想越级提拔你为医药部负责人\N{\fs }Beth, we’d like to promote you from horse surgeon
不走什么从医马到医人再往上的路子了\N{\fs }straight past human surgeon to head of medicine.
那是我的梦想啊 我的梦想\N{\fs }That’s my dream! That’s my dream.
感谢各位 这太突然了\N{\fs }Thank you. This is all so overwhelming.
但是\N{\fs }But, uh…
- 我们不能接受 - 绝对不行\N{\fs }- We can’t. - Absolutely not.
你说什么\N{\fs }I’m sorry?
十六年来我们一直期望女儿能尊重我们\N{\fs }We’ve been waiting years for our daughter to respect us,
但是关键在于 那得是我们的女儿\N{\fs }but the key is, it has to be our daughter,
而不是她现在这幅样子\N{\fs }not this person she’s become.
我们还是想试试在没有位高权重的新工作的情况下抚养她\N{\fs }We’ll take our chances raising her without fancy new jobs,
不受这个建立在土豆上的宗教的影响\N{\fs }outside of a potato-based religion.
算了\N{\fs }And you know what?
我不想再假装我们是因为有了孩子\N{\fs }I-I’m sick of pretending that we’re together
才走到一起的\N{\fs }because of the kids in the first place.
我娶你是因为你即是我的至爱\N{\fs }I married you because you’re the love of my life.
和你在一起真是幸运 我从未对你说过这些\N{\fs }And I’m lucky to have you, and I never tell you that!
经历过此事 我们家庭会更加融洽无间\N{\fs }You know, we will come out of this stronger as a family.
求求你别这样 别这样\N{\fs }Please don’t do this! Please don’t do this!
- Summer - 你听我说\N{\fs }- Summer! - Summer, listen carefully.
我偷了一个回形针 藏在嘴里的\N{\fs }I stole a paper clip, and I have it in my cheek,
但我不知道该怎么弄 现在好疼啊\N{\fs }but I don’t know what to do with it, and it hurts.
不会有事的 你们回来的时候就会变成宝宝了\N{\fs }You’re going to be okay. You will come back as babies.
我就是个宝宝 现在就是\N{\fs }I am a baby! I’m a baby now!
有人吗\N{\fs }Hello?
有人在吗\N{\fs }Is anybody here?
总统阁下\N{\fs }Mr. President!
这里是蓝鸟\N{\fs }This is bluebird!
代号T A\N{\fs }Code Tango Niner Alpha!
取消发射 取消 喂\N{\fs }Abort launch! Abort! Hello?
他把我屏蔽掉了\N{\fs }He’s blocked me out.
阁下 我得去帮Rick渴嗨爽起来\N{\fs }Sir, I need to get to the stage and help Rick get schwifty!
再渴嗨爽也没用 Morty\N{\fs }It won’t matter how schwifty you get, Morty.
将军把核弹设定在\N{\fs }The general’s got nukes
地球的歌演奏到一半时发射\N{\fs }set to launch halfway through earth’s song!
那你会开黑鹰直升机吗\N{\fs }Oh, my God! Uh, c-can you fly a black hawk?
甜甜圈的洞能放下教皇的[哔]吗\N{\fs }Can the pope’s [bleep] fit through a doughnut?
呃 不好说\N{\fs }Uh, I’m… Not sure.
我也是这个意思\N{\fs }Exactly.
让我看看你的能耐\N{\fs }Show me what you got!
呃\N{\fs }Uh…
一只青蛙一张嘴 两只眼睛四条腿\N{\fs }Lapoo lapoo lapoo dops, napoo napoo napoo nots
朝着头 升去吧\N{\fs }Headward, free now to rise.
你们看巨头们\N{\fs }Hey, look at the heads!
他们好像生气了\N{\fs }Looks like the heads are getting angry!
我真的不会开这玩意 Morty\N{\fs }I’m really bad at this, Morty!
上面按钮太多了\N{\fs }There are way too many buttons in this thing!
总统阁下 如果说我今天学到了一件事\N{\fs }Mr. President, if I’ve learned one thing today
那就是有时管不了[哔]的那么多\N{\fs }it’s that sometimes you have to not give a [bleep]!
扑通一声跳下水\N{\fs }Napoo napoo nots.
你们要求还真高\N{\fs }Ugh. Tough crowd.
我确信\N{\fs }I’m sure that has—
他们的愤怒和此事无关\N{\fs }That has nothing to do with this.
巨头们不高兴了\N{\fs }The heads are displeased!
Summer\N{\fs }Summer!
呃\N{\fs }Um…
Morty\N{\fs }Morty!
万岁\N{\fs }Hooray!
好耶 你看\N{\fs }Hooray! Look!
万岁\N{\fs }Hooray!
巨头们喜欢这样\N{\fs }The heads love this!
我们不杀他们一家的时候巨头才高兴\N{\fs }They love it when we don’t kill the Smith family!
停下\N{\fs }No! Stop that!
你没资格解读巨头的意志\N{\fs }You’re not allowed to interpret the will of the heads!
取消核打击 我是总统\N{\fs }Call off the nuclear strike! This is the president!
取消核弹发射\N{\fs }Stop the nuclear missile launch!
快点发射\N{\fs }Just launch the missiles!
你玩完了\N{\fs }Boo! Not cool!
我是唯一一个和巨头交流的人\N{\fs }I’m the only one that speaks to the heads!
不合格\N{\fs }Disqualified!
巨头觉得他不合格 抓住他\N{\fs }The heads disqualified Vagina! Get him!
不合格\N{\fs }Disqualified!
不合格\N{\fs }Disqualified!
Ice-T\N{\fs }Ice-T?!
对 就是我 Ice-T\N{\fs }That’s right. It’s me— Ice-T.
我现在在乎了 是你让我在意的\N{\fs }I care now. You made me care more.
恕我直言\N{\fs }With all due respect,
我想听听他们两个要表演什么\N{\fs }I’d like to hear what Rick and Morty have to play.
怎么样 Rick\N{\fs }What do you say, Rick?
我们开搞\N{\fs }I say, let’s do it!
万岁\N{\fs }Hooray!
耶\N{\fs }Yeah.
好\N{\fs }All right.
- 哦耶 - 嗯哼\N{\fs }- Oh, yeah - Uh-huh.
好戏开始\N{\fs }Here we go.
- 哦耶 - 和我一起唱\N{\fs }- Oh, yeah. - Sing it with me.
- 低下你的头 翘臀屁股柔 - 哦耶\N{\fs }- Head bent over, raised up posterior. - Oh, yeah
低下你的头 耶 翘臀屁股柔\N{\fs }Head bent over, Yeah, raised up posterior.
和我一起唱\N{\fs }Sing it with me now!
天呐\N{\fs }Oh, my go—
低下你的头\N{\fs }Head bent over, Yeah.
翘臀屁股柔\N{\fs }Raised up posterior. All right!
- 低下你的头 - 哦耶\N{\fs }- Head bent over. - Oh, yeah!
翘臀屁股柔\N{\fs }Raised up posterior!
季”行星好音乐”之后\N{\fs }After seasons of “Planet Music”,
克鲁星的评委们决定最终冠军由地球夺得\N{\fs }the cromulons have decided to declare earth the final winner
为我们的音乐真人秀落下帷幕\N{\fs }and bring our musical reality show to a conclusion.
再见\N{\fs }Goodbye.
- 真棒 - 我们做到了\N{\fs }- Yeah! - We did it! Yes!
我们可以出专辑了\N{\fs }Let’s get a music album now!
他刚才是说”音乐真人秀”吗\N{\fs }Did he just say “Musical reality show”?
好像我们一直在把一些毫无关联的事物\N{\fs }Yeah, it’s possible that we may have been correlating
联系在一起\N{\fs }some things that weren’t actually related at all.
救命啊\N{\fs }Help!
我们得把他弄下来\N{\fs }We should go get him.
如果我需要帮忙的话 希望还能麻烦你们\N{\fs }I hope I can call on you and Rick again if I need you, Morty.
没问题 而且我\N{\fs }Sure thing. And I—
我想跟你拍个自拍\N{\fs }I was kind of hoping that I could get a selfie with you?
这个嘛 今天的事你要是和别人提到\N{\fs }Actually, if you try to tell anyone what happened here,
我们只会否认 或者做更过分的事\N{\fs }we’ll deny it and probably worse.
明白了\N{\fs }Understood.
死死死吧\N{\fs }D-I-I-I-I-ie!
不要不要啊\N{\fs }Oh, no, no, no!
他为什么没变成蛇\N{\fs }Why didn’t he turn into a snake?
商业机密 总统阁下\N{\fs }Trade secret, Mr. President.
粒子射线装在表上 装蛇的容器绑在腿上\N{\fs }Particle beam in a wristwatch, snake holster on the leg.
我爱死你了\N{\fs }I love this man!
镁J 氢F\N{\fs }Magnesium-J, Hydrogen-F…
父亲\N{\fs }Father.
你在地球上的无私事迹\N{\fs }Word of your selfless acts on the Earth planet
已经在星系中广为传播\N{\fs }have traveled across the galaxy.
我已经变了\N{\fs }I have changed.
我已经准备好和字母域的同胞们重逢了\N{\fs }I am ready to rejoin my brethren on alphabetrium.
很好\N{\fs }Very well.
现在终止对你的放逐\N{\fs }Your exile ends today.
欢迎回家 Water-T\N{\fs }Welcome home, Water-T.
数字族人进攻了\N{\fs }The numbericons! They’re attacking!
准备战斗\N{\fs }Battle stations!
啊\N{\fs }Aah!
父亲\N{\fs }Father!
我爱你 孩子\N{\fs }I love you, son.
我不该把你变成冰的\N{\fs }I should have never turned you to ice.
Water-T 你要去哪里\N{\fs }Water-T, where are you going?!
数字族人太多了\N{\fs }There’s too many of them!
那就该做做减法了\N{\fs }Then I better crunch the numbers.
{\fscx \bord \shad \fs \pos( , )\fn华文细黑\i }今夏
{\fs \fn华文细黑\shad \c&H DB &\ c&H DD &\pos( . , . )}水T：
{\fs \bord \shad \c&HF E BD&\pos( . , . )\fn时尚中黑简体\b \clip( , , , )}数字人崛起
{\fs \bord \shad \c&HD C &\pos( . , . )\fn时尚中黑简体\clip( , , , )\b }数字人崛起
{\fs \bord \shad \c&HAB D&\pos( . , . )\fn时尚中黑简体\b \clip( , , , )}数字人崛起