好嘞Morty 准备好去失落之城亚特兰蒂斯探险了吗 All right, Morty, you ready for our adventure to the Lost City of Atlantis?
    时刻准备着 Rick Ready as I’ll ever be, Rick.
    我真是操了 -[ Portal opens] -Oh, for fuck’s sake.
    你好 我是Rick K- 这是我的Morty Hello. I’m Rick K- . This is my Morty.
    我们正穿梭于不同的现实 We’re going from reality to reality
    游说Rick们 asking Ricks to contribute
    为瑞城再发展基金会捐款 to the Citadel of Ricks Redevelopment Fund.
    你是傻吗 What are you, stupid?
    我们和瑞城没关系了 We’re done with the Citadel of Ricks.
    我一开始就不同意建立这个大本营 I was [burps] never on board with it in the first place.
    所以我杀了所有负责人 留了个烂摊子让它自生自灭 That’s why I murdered everyone in charge and left it to rot.
    噢 这个人是你啊 Oh, that was you.
    是他们先动手想搞死他的 They tried to murder him first.
    噢天啦 那你现在知道议会不存在了一定很高兴 Aw, geez.Well, you’ll be happy to know that the council’s gone now.
    他知道啊 是他杀了他们 Yeah, he knows. He murdered them.
    - 你要不要管管你的Morty - 我每天都想 -You want to rein in your Morty? -Every day.
    瑞城再发展基金会捐赠 The Citadel of Ricks Redevelopment Fund donates —
    Morty 他不会捐钱的 Morty, he’s not gonna [burps] donate.
    你这就像是向黑人小年轻儿 You’re pitching the Policeman’s Ball
    推荐警察舞会 to a black teenager here.
    - 我们走 - 你犯不着这么混吧 -Let’s go. -You don’t have to be a dick.
    你自己清楚没这回事儿 I think you know that’s not true.
    天啦 我不知道现在还有Rick和Morty住在瑞城 Geez. I didn’t know there were still Ricks and Mortys living on the Citadel.
    真不知道他们是怎么生活的 I wonder what their day-to-day lives are like.
    这样 你可以继续好奇 Well, you can keep wondering that
    我们去我们的亚特兰蒂斯开始全新 独立 又好玩儿的探险 while we go on a fun, fresh,self-contained adventure to Atlantis.
    任何继续探究瑞城的人要么就是蠢 Anyone continuing to explore the Citadel is either stupid
    要么就是那千千万万被自己的蠢主意绑住的可怜虫之一 or one of the unfortunate millions held hostage by their terrible ideas.
    还好我不是其中之一 Man, I’m glad I’m not one of them!
    在那地平线之外 Somewhere out on that horizon.
    霓虹灯无法触及的地方 Out beyond the neon lights
    我确信一定有更好的生活 I know there must be somethin’ better
    但是我看不见它的模样 But there’s nowhere else in sight
    在城市里只有生存 It’s survival in the city
    为了糊口每日奔波 When you live from day to day
    城市的街道不懂怜悯 City streets don’t have much pity
    你一旦倒下 就站不起来 When you’re down, that’s where you’ll stay
    瑞城晨间新闻 ANNOUNCER RICK Citadel Morning News.
    在早晨播出的关于瑞城的新闻 News about the Citadel in the morning,
    听名字就能懂 pretty self-explanatory.
    早上好 我是Rick D- B Good morning. I’m Rick D- B.
    - 我是Rick D- - 真羡慕 -And I’m Rick D- . -Must be nice.
    马上播出的是 东桑切斯高地重力断供 Coming up, gravity outages in East Sanchez Heights.
    以及 铀能细胞基质会致病吗 And is your uranium-powered cellular matrix making you sick?
    答案在意料之中 The answer may not surprise you.
    当然会 这是铀啊 It’s — Yes, it’s uranium.
    广告过后 更多精彩 Those stories and more after this break.
    时空的核心有限曲线的 个循环之外 SAM ELLIOT iterations off the central finite curve,
    有一个Rick不爱极性镀层 钟情木工 there’s a Rick that works more with wood than polarity plating.
    他叫”简单Rick” 但他可不傻 His name is Simple Rick, but he’s no dummy.
    很久以前他就意识到 He realized long ago
    自己最伟大的创造是他的女儿 that the greatest thing he’d ever create was his daughter.
    爸爸我爱你 I love Daddy!
    我们捕捉这个瞬间 SAM ELLIOT We captured that moment.
    让它在简单Rick的脑海里不断循环 We run it on a ioop through Simple Rick’s mind,
    收集此刻大脑分泌的化学物质 and the chemical it makes his brain secrete
    加入每一块简单Rick”简单华夫”饼干 goes into every Simple Rick’s “Simple Wafers” Wafer Cookie.
    回家吧 品尝这让你自己感到完整的无上味道 Come home to the impossible flavor of your own completion.
    回家吧 回归简单Rick Come home to Simple Rick’s.
    距离新瑞城民主政府第一届总统大选结果揭晓 Just one day remains before our newly democratic Citadel
    还有一天的时间 elects its first President.
    对于每个Rick候选人来说都还有机会 It’s anyone’s race among the Rick candidates.
    但有一位候选人 But a certain other candidate should be getting
    至少应该得到一票 因为他最可爱 at least one vote for most adorable.
    没错 Morty党候选人还没放弃 That’s right. The Morty party candidate’s still in the race,
    精神可嘉可乐 and you just gotta love him for that.
    你看他穿着Morty小西装像模像样地挥手 RICK D- Here you see him in his little Morty suit waving.
    太可爱了吧 小傻蛋儿 RICK D- B Isn’t that adorable? Little jackass.
    噢对了 我们这儿 RICK D- Uh, yeah, I think we actually have
    还有他的竞选演讲音频 the audio for his speech here.
    噢天啦 嗷老天爷 “Aw, geez. Aw, man.
    我要输了 那啥竞选的 I’m gonna lose the election and stuff.”
    和你共事我很开心 先生 We had a good run, sir,
    但我认为是时候退出了 but I think it’s time to pull out of the race.
    我对于今晚的辩论非常自信 I feel pretty confident about tonight’s debate.
    你不应该自信 先生 你应该感到恐慌 You shouldn’t, sir. You should be terrified.
    年轻人 也许你需要多一点信念 Maybe you should find a little faith, young man.
    你付给我钱不是为了叫我有信念的 You don’t pay me to have faith.
    而且我们一个年纪 And we’re the same age!
    啊 -Aah! -Whoa!
    对不起 我原以为 Oh. Sorry. I-I was expecting —
    会有个Rick搭档 A Rick partner?
    新人第一课 随时准备面对意料之外 Lesson one, rookie, expect the unexpected.
    上车 Now, get in.
    Morty也是人 Mortys are human!
    他妈的离我的车远点 你们这些没了Rick的畜生 Get the tuck ott the car, you Rickless tuckin’ animal!
    大选让这些黄T恤们 -Whoa! -MORTY COP The election’s got these yellow shirts
    比全校合照时候的Jessica还来劲 more riled up than a picture-day Jessica.
    这么说挺过分啊 长官 That’s pretty harsh, sir.
    举报我啊 有人会屌你吗 So report me. Nobody gives a fuck.
    我就是说说 这让我感觉挺悲哀的 Look, I’m just saying, it makes me a little sad
    听到一个Morty警察叫其他Morty 畜生 to hear a Morty cop calling Mortys animals.
    嗯 让我觉得挺悲哀的是居然还有别的 Well, it makes me sad to hear another Rick cop
    Rick警察信了敏感关怀训练的那套鬼话 buying into his sensitivity training.
    我很高兴知道不光是我这样 Well, I’m glad to know there’s more like me.
    喔 曾经是有过一个 Oh, there was one.
    要不然你觉得那个位置为什么空着 Why do you think that seat was empty?
    第五大道发生抢劫 RICK DISPATCH Robbery at Fifth and [belches] Avenue.
    第五 Fifth and [belches]
    - 那是Morty城 - 号单位收到 - That’s Morty Town. - Unit seven responding.
    好主意 Rick RICK TEACHER Good idea, Rick.
    好主意 Rick ALL MORTY STUDENTS Good idea, Rick.
    这次的冒险真棒 This is a great adventure.
    这次的冒险真棒 ALL This is a great adventure.
    做你的新Morty真好 RICK TEACHER I love being your new Morty.
    - 做你的新Mor - Mor屁 ALL I love being your new Mor—Farty.
    非常搞笑 Smith先生 Very amusing, Mr. Smith.
    几乎和你第一个Rick Almost as amusing as when your first Rick
    在Z九星上被斩首差不多搞笑 was decapitated on Zorpantheon Nine.
    还是说那是你的第三个Rick Or was that your third Rick?
    你到底有过几个Rick How many Ricks have you had?
    - 五个 - 我知道了 -Five. -l see.
    所以在某些方面你确实是班里拔尖的 So you are Top of the class in something.
    明天你们就会被配送给新的Rick们 Tomorrow you’ll be transferred to your new Ricks.
    希望他们能是你们的最终归宿 Hopefully they will be your last.
    请讲 笨Ri 高Morty Yes, Slow Ri-Tall Morty?
    我 我这次能屁业了么 Di— Did I gradgitate this time yet?
    一切皆有可能 高Morty Anything’s possible, Tall Morty.
    我猜在这之后我们就没机会见面了 对吧 I guess we won’t be seeing each other after this, huh?
    要我说 我们的最后一天得有点意义 I say we make our last day count.
    我提议 去许愿传送门 I say.. .we go to the Wishing Portal.
    - 那是个传说 - 那不是传说 -That’s a myth. -It’s not a myth.
    我第一个Rick的第四个Morty My first Rick’s fourth Morty
    认识一个Rick 他的Morty去过那儿 knew a Rick whose Morty went there.
    我们要是不来参加毕业典礼的话 If we’re not here for graduation,
    我们就得流落到Morty城了 our butts are gonna wind up in Morty Town.
    我以为你上一个Rick是把你和一只蜥蜴融合了 I thought your last Rick fused you with a lizard,
    不是只鸡(懦夫) not a chicken.
    好吧 行 我加入 Okay, fine. I’m in.
    我也是 Me too.
    - 这他妈啥 - 我以为我看见只苍蝇 -What the hell?! -l thought I saw a fly.
    停一下 傻逼们 Listen up, fuck nuts.
    我当你们的主管已经五年了 I’ve been your supervisor tor tive years,
    但是所有的操蛋事都得有个头 but all shitty things must come to an end,
    我已经被晋升为区域主管了 and I have been promoted to regional manager.
    没错 我的感受和你们一样 后会无期吧 Yeah, I feel the same way. May be never meet again.
    当然了 这么一来 主管的位置就空出来了 Of course, that makes the position of supervisor available,
    所以 下个礼拜开始 你们拍马屁的对象 so, as of next week, the ass you’ll be kissing
    将会变成 will be that of…
    K- 大家喜闻乐见的 酷Rick K- , affectionately known as Cool Rick.
    我知道我是新来的 -[ All grumbling] -l know I’m new to the Citadel,
    你们当中有些人可能觉得我资历不够 and some of you might not think I put in my time,
    但是我能说什么呢 but what can I say?
    我是酷Rick I’m Cool Rick!
    哟 哈 哈 就是这么屌 Yo! Ha! Ha! Check me out!
    就是这样了笨蛋们 有什么疑问么 All right knuckle[burps]heads, any questions?
    行了 那就继续工作吧 你们这些打工瑞 All right, then, back to work, you gold rickers.
    没有Rick 没有家人 No Ricks, no families,
    嗑药嗨到飞起 在街上横冲直撞 high off their asses, and running amuck.
    Morty是被培养来做跟班的 Mortys are raised to be sidekicks.
    跟班的没有下手可打 就开始找点别的来打了 Without a side to kick, they just start kicking.
    他们 他们和我差不多高 They were — They were about my height,
    大概 岁 around years old.
    喔 他们的 他们的T恤是黄色的 Oh, their — their shirts were yellow!
    是哦 一定把这些都记下来 Yeah, make sure you get that down.
    有什么变异么 或者附加特征 Any mutations, augmentations?
    呃 三只眼睛 尾巴之类的 或者劳改头 Uh, three eyes? A tail? Maybe a buzz cut?
    没 就是四个正常Morty No. Just four normal Mortys.
    - 正常 - 回去发博客抱怨吧 -Normal? -Put it in your blog.
    我去打探打探 Let me turn over a few rocks.
    喔天啊 嘿 怎么样啊兄弟们 Aw, geez. Hey, what’s goin’ on, fellas?
    喔天啊 哥们 没啥 哥们 Aw, geez, man. Nothing, man.
    我们就只是随便逛逛 We’re just hanging out and stuff.
    这样啊 喔天啊 I hear that. Aw, geez.
    我觉得我就是想查查看 I guess I’m supposed to be figurin’ out
    是谁抢劫了街对面那家店 who robbed the store across the street.
    但是喔 天啊 我不知道 But, aw, geez, I don’t know.
    喔 天啊 糟透了 Aw, geez man, that sucks
    你的Rick让你做这个 that your Rick’s making you do that.
    他不是我的Rick 他是我的拍档 He’s not my Rick. He’s my partner.
    喔 天啊 Aw, geez.
    好吧 可能穿上制服就是不一样 Well, maybe the uniform makes a big difference.
    我这样的能说什么啊 Who am Ito say?
    在我看来你就是个跟班的 To me, you just look like a sidekick.
    啊 再叫我一声跟班的试试 Call me a sidekick one more time!
    叫我跟班的啊 Call me a sidekick!
    嘿哥们 别啊 喔天啊 Hey, man! Come on! Aw, geez!
    想看看我拿什么涂墙吗 Wanna see how I paint a wall?!
    是Morty城狂人帮 It was the Morty Town Locos, man!
    Morty城狂人帮 -The — The Morty Town Locos! -[ Groans]
    噢 噢 Aah! Aah!
    你清楚自己刚才违反了多少章程吗 Do you realize how many codes you just violated?
    噢 天啊 Rick Aw, geez, Rick.
    我哪懂什么清楚不清楚 What do I know about knowin’ stuff?
    快他妈上车吧 Get in the fuckin’ car.
    更多激光 More lasers.
    你可以多用点时间来回答问题 如果你愿意 You could take more time to answer the question if you like.
    好的 杂耍Rick Okay, Juggling Rick,
    你将如何解决大本营的财政危机 how would you solve the Citadel’s financial crisis?
    首先 我想说的是我相信咱们瑞城 First off, can I just say that I believe this Citadel
    是多元宇宙里最棒的 is the greatest in the entire multi-verse.
    现在 我认为问题的答案 Now, I believe the answer to your question
    包含三个方面 has three parts.
    第一 必须大力提高对教育的投入 First, education spending must get much higher.
    但必须和国防支出保持平衡 But it has to be balanced with defense…
    慢着 慢着 我们能不能核实一下这点 -Whoa! Whoa! -Can we fact-check this please?
    拉倒吧 我逗谁乐呢 Never mind. Who am I kidding?
    这竞选已经没戏了 This race is over.
    这就是管理瑞城的方法 And that’s how you run a Citadel!
    候选人Morty 无家可归的Morty人数激增 Candidate Morty, the number of displaced Mortys is soaring
    与此同时 Rick们的满意度正在迅速下降 while Rick satisfaction levels are plummeting,
    两群人之间的分化从来没有这么大过 and the divide between the two groups has never been wider.
    快速解决这个问题 Solve that one real quick.
    我并没有发现Rick和Morty之间有分化 I don’t see a divide between Ricks and Mortys.
    呦 真是震惊啊 Oh, shocker.
    我有点反对的”响”法 I’d like to offer a re-buttal. Farts]
    先生们 我觉得咱们都能就一件事达成共识 Gentlemen, gentlemen, I think we can all agree on one thing.
    虽然出来的是两件事 [Farts twice] Well, it came out as two things,
    但你们明白是什么意思 but you get the idea.
    你们完事儿了吗 -[ Laughter] -You guys finished?
    我看到的分歧存在于在那些想让瑞城 The division I see is between the Ricks and Mortys
    分裂对立的Rick还有Morty that like the Citadel divided…
    和我们剩下的人之间 and the rest of us.
    我所到之处 皆是如此 I see it everywhere I go.
    在我们的学校里是这样 I see it in our schools
    在那里 他们教育Morty们 我们都是一样的 where they teach Mortys we’re all the same,
    因为让他们受到威胁的 正是那些让我们独一无二的东西 because they’re threatened by what makes us unique.
    我们的街道上也是如此他们给Morty们发放枪支 I see it in our streets where they give guns to Mortys
    让我们忙着互相争斗而无暇反抗真正的不公 so we’re too busy fighting each other to fight real injustice.
    在工厂同样如此 I see it in our factories
    在那里 Rick们辛苦工作 薪水只是老板所得的九牛一毛 where Ricks work for a fraction of their boss’ salary
    尽管他们是一模一样的 智商也相同 even though they’re identical and have the same IQ.
    瑞城的问题并不是无家可归的Morty们 The Citadel’s problem isn’t homeless Mortys
    也不是愤怒的Rick们 or outraged Ricks.
    真正的问题在于 有一部分Rick和Morty The Citadel’s problem is the Ricks and Mortys
    在从瑞城的毁灭中汲取营养 feeding on the Citadel’s death.
    天哪 -Holy shit. -[ Alarm sounding]
    他要去口味核心 RICK SECURITY OFFICER He’s headed for the flavor core!
    但我要向他们传达这样一条信息 But I’ve got a message for them,
    来自那些让瑞城维持生机的Rick和Morty们 from the Ricks and Mortys keeping it alive,
    来自那些对瑞城满怀信心的 a message from the Ricks and Mortys
    Rick和Morty们 that believe in this Citadel
    收信人是那些与此背道而驰的Rick和Morty to the Ricks and Mortys that don’t.
    我们远比你们多得多 You’re outnumbered.
    天啊 Holy shit.
    我不相信 I don’t believe it.
    我 我简直难以置信 I-I can’t believe it.
    我明白 所以你被炒了 I know. That’s why you’re fired.
    听起来你要找工作了 Sounds like you’re looking for work.
    我能给你提供非常诱人的待遇 I can offer you a very enticing compensation package.
    首先 咱们来谈谈好处吧 First, let’s talk benefits.
    爸爸爱你 真是爸爸的好女儿 Daddy loves you. That’s Daddy’s good girl.
    你的生活就是个谎言 哥们 Your life is a lie, man.
    你们所有人都活在谎言里 你们还不明白吗 All your life’s are lies! Don’t you get it?!
    他们说我们是特别的 因为我们是Rick They told us we were special because we were Ricks,
    但却剥夺了所有让我们独一无二的东西 but they stripped us of everything that made us unique!
    我们明白你的感受 We know how you feel.
    我们也是苦逼的劳工Rick 和你一样 We’re working-stiff Ricks just like you.
    但正义将我们团结起来 but our assembly line is justice.
    你有什么要求 What are your demands?
    我 我 我 我想要个传送枪 I-I-I want a portal gun.
    要没注册过 追踪不到的 Unregistered, untraceable,
    里面要有足够的液体 送我离开这个天杀的监狱 with enough fluid to take me off this goddamn prison!
    - 媒体们在外面候着 - 啊 让他们在那儿待着吧 -The media’s outside. -Well, keep ‘em there.
    不管怎样 呃 嫌疑人说瑞城是个谎言 Anyway, so, yeah, the suspect says the Citadel’s a lie,
    建立在谎话和其他鸡巴玩意的基础上 built on lies, and some other shit.
    我要说 珍惜现有的生活 I say appreciate the life you have,
    因为生活总有变得更烂的可能 because it can always be worse.
    该你们了 Rick们 Back to you, Ricks.
    谢谢你 Rick -C Thank you, Rick -C.
    - 这傻逼 - 可不是 -That fuckin’ guy. -Tell me about it.
    与此同时 在大选现场 [Clears throat] Meanwhile, in election news,
    事情出现了始料未及的转折 来自Morty党的Morty an unexpected turn of events as Morty from the Morty Party
    支持率跃升至第一位 soars to the Top of the poiis.
    好的 -Morty! Morty! Morty! -Yes.
    Morty 你来自哪个现实 你的Rick在哪儿 Morty, what’s your original reality, and where’s your Rick?
    天呐 我们来来回回走得太远 已经记不得了 Gosh, we moved around so much, it’s hard to remember.
    我把每一个Rick都当成我的Rick I see every Rick as my Rick.
    我希望他们也把我当做他们的Morty I hope they see me as their Morty.
    再来一杯行吗 少兑点水 Another? Please? With less water?
    嘿 打起精神来 伙计 Hey, cheer up, pal.
    一个Morty要当总统了 A Morty’s gonna be president.
    想想这个傻逼得替所有事情背黑锅 Imagine this kisser getting blamed for everything.
    我想我该抱有更多信念的 I guess I should’ve had more faith.
    你需要的不是信念 而是恐惧 It’s not faith you need. It’s fear.
    这是什么 What’s this?
    这是机密 It’s secrets.
    你 你 你 你觉得这是什么 Wh-Wh-Wh-What do you think it is?
    看看我这造型 Look at how I’m dressed.
    在对体制提出质疑之后 RICK REPORTER Having taken aim at the system,
    你对你的人身安全感到担忧吗 are afraid at all for your safety?
    我宁愿活在希望而不是恐惧里 CANDIDATE MORTY I’d rather live in hope than fear.
    如果我需要害怕什么的话 我会害怕人们感到害怕 If I had to fear anything, I’d fear other people being afraid
    害怕恐惧本身 Of fear. Itself
    但是 不 我不害怕 But, no, I’m not afraid.
    嘿 Rick 伙计 等有个Morty当上了总统 MORTY TOWN [ # Hey, Rick, man,when there’s a Morty president,
    你是不是得给我跪下舔屌 you gonna lick my balls or what?
    妈呀 孙儿 Sheeeet, grandson,
    你再这么继续让我剥这些个skrabquam和nib nib you keep me peelin’ skrabquams and slippin’ nib nibs,
    任何不是钉死了的东西我都会舔 I’ll lick whatever ain’t nailed down.
    举起手来 Hands in the air!
    这他妈是在搞什么 What the hell, man?! What the hellin’ hell?
    你们几个在跟外公一起做化学作业吗 You guys doing a little chemistry homework with Grandpa?
    这是我心里想的那东西吗 Is this what I think it is?
    非法私制传送液 Bootleg portal fluid.
    我想他算错了 I guess his math was off.
    搜 Search the place.
    你 你是我的新Rick吗 Are — Are you… my new.. .R-Rick?
    没事了 Morty It’s okay, Morty.
    老天爷 Jesus.
    他捅了我 我伤得挺重的 Morty He stabbed me. He got me bad, Morty.
    嘘 没关系 你会没事的 Shh. It’s okay. You’re okay.
    你是对的 You were right. [Coughs]
    - 我在警校学的所有东西都 - 没关系 - Everything I learned at the academy was - Doesn’t matter.
    选择相信一个Morty不是你的错 Nothing’s wrong with putting your faith in a Morty.
    你只是需要选择那个值得信任的 You just gotta pick the right one.
    为什么这儿会有个摇篮 Why is there a crib in here?
    他们的把戏 为了让你觉得内疚 Something they do. To make you feel bad.
    这下搞得我俩要写一堆报告 是不 Boy, I got us knee-deep in paperwork, huh?
    到车上去拿个急救包 Go to the car and grab a medi-pack.
    这儿就交给我吧 Let me worry about this.
    - 发生什么事了 - 还是老一套 - What happened? - Same old story.
    Morty们自相残杀 Mortys killing Mortys.
    就快 摘到了 Almost.. .got it.
    离我的超级果远点儿 Y’all get the hell away from my damn mega fruit!
    抓住他们 狗狗 -Sic ‘em, boy! -[ Barking I
    我戴着这傻逼帽子 I don’t wear this dag-nab hat
    过着村炮的生活 and commit to this rural character
    可不是为了让你们这帮毛没长齐的崽子们免费偷吃的 so you can eat for free while you come of age!
    我打赌许愿传送门通往一个 I bet the Wishing Portal leads to a reality
    一个很多 所有 where they’re — where all —
    有很多长着大奶子的法式吐司的世界 where it’s a bunch of French toast with boobies.
    我打赌它通往一个到处都是油炸 I bet it leads to a place with a bunch of fry —
    苍 苍蝇们的地方 fly — flies everywhere.
    我猜它不通往任何地方 Yeah, I bet it goes nowhere.
    我打赌它只是一个 I bet it’s a big hole
    瑞城用来倾倒所有破碎的梦的大洞 where the Citadel dumps all its broken dreams.
    小酷哥 为什么你老这么夸张 Slick, why do you have to be so dramatic?
    你想知道为什么吗 因为这个 You wanna know why? Because of this.
    我是一个植入了戏剧芯片的 I’m part of an experimental line of Mortys
    测试型Morty系列的一员 with a drama implant.
    你知道这种感受吗 肥Morty How do you think it feels, Fat Morty,
    明知道不管在哪里 to know that no matter where I go,
    我都会是那个 Ill always be the one
    让所有人感到悲伤和有点无聊的人 that makes everybody sad and a little bored?
    酷哥儿 那个芯片并不能代表你这个人 好吗 Slick, that implant isn’t who you are, okay?
    你还把你的袖子给卷起来了 You also roll up your sleeves.
    我还以为我是左撇子Morty呢 I thought I was Left-Handed Morty.
    那你就应该用你的左手来多吃点蔬菜 Then you should use your left hand to eat more vegetables.
    你好 你怎么样 很高兴见到你 Hey, there. How you doing? Great to meet you.
    我是个水管工 先生 I’m a plumber, sir.
    我是个Rick 我也是个水管工 I’m a Rick, and I’m a plumber.
    这听起来不像是Rick的工作 That doesn’t sound like Rick work.
    你来瑞城不是为了当个水管工的 是吗 You didn’t come to the Citadel to be a plumber, did you?
    当然不是了 先生 Ha! ha! I sure didn’t, sir!
    Morty先生 Morty先生 Mr. Morty! Mr. Morty!
    我克隆了自己 这样你就可以亲亲还是一个宝宝的我了 I cloned myself so you could kiss me as a baby!
    他就跟一个Morty宝宝一样 This is just like a Morty baby!
    你 嗯 你找到新工作了吗 Hey, did you, uh, end up getting a new job?
    是的 我找到了 刺杀你 Yeah, I did. Assassinating you.
    我没事 I’m okay. I’m okay.
    我 I
    啊 伙计 啊 天呐 Aw, man. Aw, geez. Aw, hah.
    你看起来需要放松一下 You look like you could use a good time.
    跳一支舞 美元 两支 One dance for $ , two for $ .
    不用了 谢谢 你数学学得真垃圾 No, thank you. And bad math.
    这真是太好玩儿了 Ha! Ha! Yeah! This is a good time!
    - 这什么地方 - 怪怪Morty俱乐部 -What is this place? -The Creepy Morty.
    你们Rick常说什么来着 What is it your kind’s always saying?
    别想这事 “Don’t think about it.”
    来 我想让你认识一位重要人物 Come on. There’s someone important I want you to meet.
    啊 Ah, Bubbala!
    Morty城狂人帮的事怎么样了 How’d it go with the Morty Town Locos?
    他们出了点小事故 They had a little accident.
    以后不会再制造麻烦了 They won’t be causing any trouble anymore.
    那些都是坏Morty 非常坏的Morty Those were bad Mortys. Very bad Mortys.
    大Morty想要继续 Big Morty likes to contribute
    维持Morty城的和平 to keeping the peace in Morty Town.
    你可以把他看做是”毒枭” Think of him as a “drug lord”
    我们则是被他收买的警察 and us as cops on his payroll.
    - Morty - 你叫谁 -Morty… -TOGETHER Which Morty?
    我 我 我搭档 M-M-My partner.
    Morty你说得对 Morty城是很坏 Morty, you’re right. Morty Town is bad.
    但这不意味着我们也必须变坏 But that doesn’t mean that we have to be.
    嘿 怎么回事 Morty Hey, what’s going on here, Morty?
    - 你问谁 - 警察Morty 你们这些弱智 -TOGETHER Which Morty? -The cop, morons!
    别担心Rick 大Morty Don’t worry about Rick, Big Morty.
    他新来的 He’s new.
    他还不晓得这里的门道 He doesn’t understand how it works.
    你之前也是这么说你上个搭档的 That’s what you said about your last partner.
    为什么你要这么说 大Morty Why would you say something like that, Big Morty?
    你这样要坏我们的事的 You’re fucking things up for both of us here.
    不 是他在坏你俩的事 Wrong. He’s tucking things up tor both ot you.
    除非他收下这笔钱 Unless he takes the money.
    大Morty 你被捕了 Big Morty, you’re under arrest.
    全宇宙最聪明的人 S-Smartest man in the universe.
    这是道具枪 这 这是道具枪 They’re just props! Th-They’re just props!
    现在”大”不起来了吧 -[ Groans -Not so big now, are ya?
    我本来就不大啊 只是说说的 I never was! It was figurative!
    - 够了 - 如果我们不杀了他 他会告密的 - That’s enough.- If we don’t kill him, he’ll talk.
    如果你杀了他 我就会告发你 If you do, I’ll talk.
    可 可以确定的是 -One thing’s for sure.
    你 你们不用担心 牛仔Morty不会告密的 Y-Y’all don’t have to worry about Cowboy Morty talkin’.
    我这个小牛仔就慢慢滚了哈 This little cowpoke’s gonna mosey up on out of here.
    是你告诉我要相信对的Morty You told me to put my faith in the right Morty.
    我相信你 搭档 I’ve got faith in you, partner.
    做正确的事 Do the right thing.
    哦 外公Rick Oh, Grandpa Rick,
    我 我不想待在瑞城了 I-I don’t wanna be on the Citadel anymore.
    我只想当个普通小孩 I wanna be a regular kid.
    我 我想去上学 玩玩球 I-I wanna to go to school and throw balls around
    撸撸管 and masturbate.
    这里面发生了什么 What the hell happened in there?
    老套的剧情 Same old story.
    Rick杀了Morty Ricks killing Mortys.
    好 兄弟 好了 我们拿来了你要的传送枪 Okay, man, okay, we got your portal gun.
    他在干嘛 What the hell’s he doing?
    - 这 我这是在哪儿 - 一个糟透的地方 -[ Groans ] Where — Where am I? -A bad place.
    但你很快就能去个更好的地方了 But you’re going to a better one soon.
    嘿 嘿 Hey! Hey!
    不不不不 -No, no, no, no! -Whaa-
    该死的 God damn it!
    给我个通往搅拌机世界的传送门 A portal to the blender dimension?
    这简直是最老土的套路了 That’s the oldest trick in the book!
    我是一个Rick 我比你们这些Rick更Rick I’m a Rick! I’m more Rick than any of you!
    那你就该知道 你把你唯一的筹码给杀了 Then you should know you just killed your only leverage!
    那就进来抓我啊 你们这帮混蛋 Then comes and get me, motherfuckers!
    停下 我是Rick D. Sanchez第三世 STop. I’m Rick D. Sanchez the Third,
    是这家威化饼干厂的老板 owner of this here wafer establishment,
    我要说 被关在里面的这个Rick说得对 and I say that the Rick in there is right.
    他是比你们都更Rick He’s more Rick than any of you.
    他是一个恐怖分子 He’s a terrorist!
    哪个Rick不是呢 What Rick isn’t?!
    这座由Rick们建立的城市是为了让Rick们自由 The Citadel was founded by Ricks for Ricks to be free!
    你叫什么名字 年轻人 What’s your name, young man?
    - 我叫Rick 我今年 - 跟我一个年纪 我知道 -Rick. And I’m — -The same age as me, I know.
    - 你在这儿工作了多久 - 年 -How long have you worked here? - years.
    看看我们都变成什么人了 What the hell have we become?
    不管你们要抓他去蹲多久的监狱 Whatever time you were gonna make him serve,
    他都已经相当于服过刑了 he’s served it.
    这一切现在结束了 It ends now.
    - 跟我来 朋友 - 我们要去哪儿 -Come with me, friend. -Where are we going?
    去向你的新生活 To your new life.
    你的新生活从走出这鸟地方开始 Which starts with walking the fuck out of here.
    哟 J- 让他们瞧瞧 -Yo J- , give ‘em hell! -[ Burps]
    有个Rick在谋杀了他的上级和几个同事以后 SAM ELLIOT There’s a Rick that held a factory hostage
    劫持了一家工厂 after murdering his boss and several co-workers.
    这家工厂生产曲奇饼 却以谎言为之调味 The factory made cookies, flavored them with lies.
    他让所有人重新审视我们过去所做的一切 He made us all take a look at what we were doing.
    在这场博弈中 他尝到了真正自由的味道 And in the bargain, he got a taste of real freedom.
    我们抓住了这种味道 并不断将其给予他 We captured that taste, and we keep giving it to him
    这样他便能将其直接给予你们 so he can give it right back to you
    新款”简单瑞克”牌自由威化系列每一口都能尝到自由的味道 in every bite of new Simple Rick Freedom Wafer Selects.
    重温打破巨大幻觉的 Come home to the unique flavor
    独特味道 of shattering the grand illusion.
    在”简单瑞克”找到家的感觉 Come home to Simple Rick.
    这地方真的存在 It is real.
    你们先请 After you.
    就是这儿了 许愿传送门 SPECS There it is. The Wishing Portal.
    他们说想要愿望成真 They say for your wish to come true,
    你需要放弃一些对你真正重要的东西 you have to give up something really important.
    对我来说 是我的帕尼尼机 For me, that’s my panini maker.
    我想要一百万个三明治 I wish for a million sandwiches.
    对 我知道这很讽刺 And, yes, I see the irony.
    我猜我想要比这个 I guess I wish I had something cooler
    愚蠢的冲浪项链更酷一点的东西 than this dumbass surfer necklace.
    我希望乱伦黄片能有能有更主流的吸引力 I wish incest porn had — had a more mainstream appeal.
    帮我朋友许的 For — For a friend of mine.
    这些事都不会发生的 None of those things are gonna happen, you know.
    Morty的愿望从来不会实现 Morty wishes never come true.
    不会在瑞城实现 Not on the Citadel.
    那你为什么要带我们到这来 Then why did you bring us here?
    因为我希望这件事会改变 Because I wish that would change.
    我希望生活中的一切都能改变 I wish anything about this life would change.
    好吧 希望你能放些 Well, I hope you’re putting something
    真的很重要的东西进去 pretty goddamn important in there.
    我也希望 Me too.
    但我不确定 But I doubt it.
    - 不 - 小酷哥儿 -No! -Slick!
    可 可能 M-Maybe…
    可能这通向一个美好的地方 Maybe it went somewhere nice.
    垃圾倾倒 AUTOMATED RICK Garbage dump.
    退后 Stand [burp] back.
    得有人阻止他 He had to be sTopped.
    他 他不 他不可以赢 He — He co U— He c-couldn’t be allowed to win.
    那你还该更努力一些 兄弟 Then you should’ve [burps] worked on your aim, bro.
    他没死 不 不 不 你们要听我说 He’s alive? No, no, no. You gotta listen to me.
    我曾经为他工作 我是他的竞选经理 I-I worked for him. I was his campaign manager.
    那个Morty不是他看上去的那样 That Morty is not what he seems.
    是的 好吧 没有一个Morty看上去像一个总统 Yeah, well, no Morty seems like a president.
    他 赢了 -He.. .won? -Yeah.
    是的 压倒性的胜利(吹出去了) It was a blowout.
    根本算不上压倒性胜利 I would hardly call it a blowout.
    都接近得快导致一次重新计票了 It was almost close enough to trigger a recount.
    天哪 你这警卫当的 连笑话也要管制啦 Jesus. What are you, joke security now, too?
    为什么我还在这里 RICK COP Why am I still here?
    我已经坦白了所有的事情 I heard he confessed to everything.
    你的案子被重新审理了 你可以走了 Your case has been reviewed. You’re free to go.
    但是 我违反了至少十来条部门章程 But.. violated at least a dozen departmental codes.
    新的部门 新的章程 New department. New codes.
    新的瑞城 New Citadel.
    我们错过了毕业典礼吗 新的Rick们在哪 SPECS Did we miss graduation? Where are the new Ricks?
    没有毕业典礼 没有新的Rick No graduation. No new Ricks.
    - 学校的课程安排变了 - 变成什么了 - The school’s curriculum is changing.- To what?
    我不知道 我也不需要知道 I don’t know, and I don’t have to know.
    我被炒了 I’ve been fired.
    好运 小屁孩们 [ Burping ] Good luck, turds.
    天哪 酷哥儿的愿望成真了 Holy crap. Slick’s wish came true.
    对不起我迟到了 总统先生 Sorry I’m late, Mr. President.
    - 工作上遇到了一些小麻烦 - 也算值了 -Had a little crisis at work. -Worth it!
    没关系 It’s no problem.
    上面再多剪掉一点 Uh, a little more off the Top.
    你想说什么 时装区Rick You were saying, Garment District Rick.
    我想说 “总统”Morty We were saying, “President” Morty,
    我们不在乎谁坐在那个椅子上 that we don’t care who sits in that seat.
    —个Rick —个Morty —个他妈的Jerry 都不重要 A Rick, a Morty, a goddamn Jerry, doesn’t matter.
    我们在议会之前就在管理瑞城 We’ve been running the Citadel since before the council,
    并且你会知道现在仍然是我们说了算 and you’ll find that we’re still running it now.
    在这里的每个人真的都像他所说的这样想吗 Does he really speak for everyone here?
    - 嗯 - 是的 -Mm-hmm. -Yeah.
    好吧 我觉得我们最好把话讲清楚 Well, I think it’s important to be clear.
    如果你同意他所讲的 举起你的手 Raise your hand if he speaks for you.
    上面剪掉得够多了吗 Is.. .that enough off the Top?
    我不知道 够了么 I don’t know. Is it?
    - 够了 够了 天哪 够了 - 我觉得这非常好 -Yes, yes, goddamn, yes. -I think it’s great.
    好 Good.
    这个时间似乎很适合来一杯酒 This seems like a good time for a drink
    然后发表一个冷酷而又算计的演讲 带着邪恶的弦外之音 and a cold calculated speech with sinister overtones.
    一个关于政治 A speech about politics…
    关于秩序 about order…
    友爱 brotherhood…
    权力的演讲 power.
    但是竞选的时候才需要演讲 But speeches are for campaigning.
    现在 需要的是行动 Now is the time for action.
    喔 耶 Whoo! [Laughs] Yeah!
    - 亚特兰蒂斯 宝贝 - 这太棒了 -Atlantis, baby! -That was amazing.
    你搞了那美人鱼 You got some of that mermaid puss.
    我真的希望不只有这一次 I’m really hoping it wasn’t a one-off thing
    希望能再次见到她 and I can see her again.
    对了 嗨 你还是不好奇瑞城 By the way, hey, urn, still not curious about
    会发生什么事吗 what might’ve happened at that crazy Citadel place?
    切 一点不 Morty 那个地方永远再也不会 Psh. Not at all, Morty. That place will never have
    影响到我们的生活了 any bearing over our lives ever again.
    不像那个美人鱼小逼 Unlike that mermaid puss! Yeah!
    - 耶 我们要再回去 - 耶 耶 喔 We’re going back for seconds!
    我们要每周搞一次 兄弟 We’re gonna do that shit every week, man!
    - 那是亚特兰蒂斯 - 噢 天哪 -That was Atlantis! -Oh, shit!