真不敢相信我们找到了这个平行宇宙里的地球\N{\fs }Geez, I can’t believe we found a version of earth
有摸蛋人的电影系列\N{\fs }with a “Ball fondlers” Movie franchise.
我不敢相信的是这个平行世界pg- 的标准\N{\fs }I can’t believe the things this reality considers pg- .
- 真让人嫉妒 - 不用嫉妒 Morty\N{\fs }- Yeah. I-I’m pretty jealous. - Don’t be, Morty.
每条平行时间线都有好有坏\N{\fs }There’s pros and cons to every alternate timeline.
至于这一个嘛\N{\fs }Fun facts about this one —
这里有巨型读心蜘蛛\N{\fs }it’s got giant, telepathic spiders,
十一次 \N{\fs } / s,
还有整个多宇宙最好的冰激凌\N{\fs }and the best ice cream in the multiverse!
不是吧\N{\fs }Shut up!
咱去吃冰激凌啦\N{\fs }We’re gonna go get some ice cream, mother[bleep]
靠\N{\fs }Oh, great.
怎么了Rick\N{\fs }Oh, boy. W-what’s wrong, Rick?
是量子化油器还是什么\N{\fs }Is it the quantum carburetor or something?
“量子化油器” 天 Morty\N{\fs }”Quantum carburetor”? Jesus, Morty.
你以为你随便\N{\fs }You can’t just add a s—
加一科幻名词在一个车零件前边 就真能说出什么来么\N{\fs }Sci-Fi word to a car word and hope it means something.
看来是微宇宙电池出问题了\N{\fs }Huh, looks like something’s wrong with the microverse battery.
我们得去里面\N{\fs }We’re gonna have to go inside.
什么里面\N{\fs }Um, go inside what?
电池里面 Morty 我们马上回来 Summer\N{\fs }The battery, Morty. Be right back, summer.
待着别动 别动按钮\N{\fs }Stay put, don’t touch any buttons,
有什么奇怪的念头 不要理会 尤其是有”蜘蛛感”的\N{\fs }and ignore all random thoughts that feel…Spidery.
你不能就把我留在这儿\N{\fs }Wait! You can’t leave me here!
没事的\N{\fs }You’ll be fine.
飞船 保证Summer的安全\N{\fs }Ship, keep Summer safe.
保证Summer的安全\N{\fs }Keep summer safe.
呵 真棒\N{\fs }Ugh. Wonderful.
不好意思\N{\fs }Hey, excuse me. Hello.
怎么 你以为你有多比我了不起\N{\fs }What, you think you’re better than me?!
没人比我了不起\N{\fs }Nobody’s better than me!
保证Summer的安全\N{\fs }Keep summer safe.
怎么搞的\N{\fs }Hey, man, what the hell?!
他是我女儿的儿科医生\N{\fs }That was my daughter’s pediatrician!
停下 不要杀他\N{\fs }No, stop! Don’t kill him!
收到\N{\fs }Confirmed.
我的腿没有知觉了\N{\fs }Oh, God. I can’t feel my legs.
救命 \N{\fs }Help! Help!!
Summer很安全\N{\fs }Summer is safe.
我一点都不觉得安全\N{\fs }I don’t feel safe.
收到\N{\fs }Confirmed.
不\N{\fs }No.
救命啊 救命啊\N{\fs }Oh, God, help me. Help me!
救救我 你可以救我的\N{\fs }Help me, please! You can help me!
我们这是在哪儿\N{\fs }Oh, man. Where are we, Rick?
Morty 记不记得八秒之前\N{\fs }Morty, remember eight seconds ago
你说”什么里面”\N{\fs }when, when you said, “Go inside what?”
然后我说”电池”\N{\fs }And I said, “The battery”?
然后我们来了这儿 我也没说什么\N{\fs }And then we showed up here, and I wasn’t like,
“哇 好吃惊哟”\N{\fs }”Whoa, this is unexpected.
“完全没想到是这样呢”\N{\fs }This is not what I was expecting, Morty.
- “多么不可思议呀” - 行了行了 \N{\fs }- What a perplexing mystery this is.” - All right, all right.
我们在电池里面 我懂了\N{\fs }We’re inside the battery. I get it.
- 你不用一直嘲讽我了 - 这不对啊\N{\fs }- You don’t have to bust my balls. - Huh, this isn’t right.
这根管道应该要\N{\fs }This pipe’s supposed to be sending
太瓦的燃料送进引擎里才对\N{\fs } terawatts of juice up to the engine, Morty.
结果反而是零\N{\fs }Instead we’ve got…Zero?
这些人现在在干嘛\N{\fs }Now what are these people doing?
啊 什么人\N{\fs }W-w-w-whoa, people?
看来得亲自动手修引擎了\N{\fs }It’s time for some hands-on engine repair.
Morty 抓牢站稳\N{\fs }All right, Morty, hold on to something. Whoa!
我靠\N{\fs }Holy crap!
我还以为我们在你的车电池里\N{\fs }I thought we were inside your car battery, Rick.
这简直就是一整个星球啊\N{\fs }T-t-this is like a whole p-planet or something.
谢啦 Morty 我对这东西还是很自豪的\N{\fs }Thanks, Morty. I’m pretty proud of this bad boy.
你看\N{\fs }Check it out.
我把一块空间上嵌合的虚空\N{\fs }I put a spatially tessellated void
放入了一修改过的时间场\N{\fs }inside a modified temporal field
直到一颗星球发展出智慧生命\N{\fs }until a planet developed intelligent life.
我为他们引入了神奇的电能\N{\fs }I then introduced that life to the wonders of electricity,
他们现在整个星球都在发电\N{\fs }which they now generate on a global scale.
其中一部分用来给我的引擎供电\N{\fs }And, you know, some of it goes to power my engine
还有给我的手机充电什么的\N{\fs }and charge my phone and stuff.
你让一整个星球就在这儿给你供电\N{\fs }You have a whole planet sitting around making your power for you?
这是奴隶制\N{\fs }That’s slavery.
这叫社会 他们在为彼此工作\N{\fs }It’s society. They work for each other, Morty.
互相付钱 在这儿买房子\N{\fs }They pay each other. They buy houses.
结婚生子\N{\fs }They get married and make children
孩子在他们老了以后代替他们继续发电\N{\fs }that replace them when they get too old to make power.
那也不过是多了几个步骤的奴隶制\N{\fs }That just sounds like slavery with extra steps.
哦啦啦 某人在大学肯定要有艳福咯\N{\fs }Ooh-LA-LA, someone’s gonna get laid in college.
看来 我们又有一次来访啦\N{\fs }It appears we are being revisited
来者 被称作Rick的外星人 曾经给予我们的世界\N{\fs }by the alien known as Rick, who once gave our world
谷波盒的科技\N{\fs }the gift of gooble box technology,
只要不停踩上去 就会产生电\N{\fs }which, when stomped on, generates electricity,
为我们的居家和工作提供能源\N{\fs }powering our homes and businesses,
提高我们的生活质量 同时安全地\N{\fs }improving our daily lives, while safely removing
将危险的废能量移到一座特别的废料处理火山\N{\fs }the dangerous waste power to a special disposal volcano.
但Rick为何回来了\N{\fs }But why has Rick returned?
他听到重大新消息又会说些什么\N{\fs }And what will he say when he hears the big news?
我们拭目以待\N{\fs }Let’s find out.
你得告诉这些人他们在电池里\N{\fs }You need to tell these people they’re in a battery, Rick.
这太糟了 他们请人办了酒宴\N{\fs }It’s messed up. There’s caterers down there.
他们还弄了火锅\N{\fs }Th-th-they’re setting up chafing dishes.
别激动行吗 Morty\N{\fs }Would you relax, Morty?
我们没有做什么不诚实的事情\N{\fs }There’s nothing dishonest about what we’re doing.
把这些天线戴上\N{\fs }Now slap on these antennae.
- 得让这些人觉得我们是外星人 - 啥 为什么啊 \N{\fs }- These people need to think we’re aliens. - What? Why?
看来你真是对修车一窍不通\N{\fs }Sh— obviously you really know nothing about car repair.
等活动梯放下去\N{\fs }Wait for the ramp, Morty.
他们很爱慢速活动梯\N{\fs }They love the slow ramp.
他们可性奋了 看着这梯子\N{\fs }Really gets their dicks hard when they see this ramp
慢慢伸下去\N{\fs }just slowly extending down.
你们好呀\N{\fs }Greetings!
Morty 对他们比中指\N{\fs }Morty, you got to flip them off.
我跟他们说这是”星际和平”的意思\N{\fs }I told them it means “Peace among worlds.”
不觉得很好笑吗\N{\fs }How hilarious is that?
我们来啦\N{\fs }Coming through.
俩货真价实的外星人\N{\fs }Two real aliens walking through here.
Rick 我们的外星朋友\N{\fs }Rick, our alien friend.
嘿 总统阁下 我发现\N{\fs }Uh, Mr. President, um, couldn’t help but notice
你们没有再发电了\N{\fs }that you were having problems generating power.
没错 我们进化了\N{\fs }That’s correct. We’ve evolved.
我们最优秀的科学家 Zeep Xanflorp\N{\fs }Our most brilliant scientist, Zeep Xanflorp,
发展出一种能源\N{\fs }has developed a source of energy
淘汰了谷波盒\N{\fs }that makes gooble boxes obsolete.
我很想见识一下呢\N{\fs }I would love to see it.
- [哔] - 你刚跟我说什么\N{\fs }- [bleep] you. - What did you say to me?!
“[哔]”啊\N{\fs }”[bleep] you.”
你跟我说的啊 是”非常感谢“的意思\N{\fs }Y-you told me it means “Much obliged.”
哦 对 给我口\N{\fs }Oh. Right. Uh, b-blow me.
不不不 给我口\N{\fs }No, no, no. Blow me.
Zeep 从天外来了一位访客\N{\fs }Zeep, you have an honored guest from beyond the stars.
我说的是十二个量子稳定器 不是十一\N{\fs }I said 12 quantum stabilizers, not .
赶快弄好 不然要你好看\N{\fs }Fix it or it’s your ass.
Chris 我忙着呢\N{\fs }Chris, I’m in the middle of something.
Zeep 这就是那位外星人Rick\N{\fs }Zeep, this is Rick — the alien.
外星人Rick\N{\fs }Rick the alien.
外星人Rick\N{\fs }Rick the alien…
真的 你要给我玩这招儿\N{\fs }Really? You’re gonna pull that move?
你们整个文明都是我引导的\N{\fs }I guided your entire civilization.
你们有个节日就叫瑞恩节\N{\fs }Your people have a holiday named ricksgiving.
小孩子在学校里要学关于我的事情\N{\fs }They teach kids about me in school.
我辍学了\N{\fs }I dropped out of school.
学校不是聪明人待的地方\N{\fs }It’s not a place for smart people.
哎哟喂\N{\fs }Ohhhh, snap!
听我说 你这个傲慢的小\N{\fs }Listen to me, you arrogant little —
Rick想要看看你的新能源\N{\fs }R-Rick was hoping to see your new energy source.
我想他能从你这儿学到很多 Zeep\N{\fs }I think he could learn a lot from you, Zeep.
好吧\N{\fs }Fine.
对一般人来说这很难理解\N{\fs }It’s hard for people to grasp,
但这容器里是一个无限的宇宙\N{\fs }but inside that container is an infinite Universe
里面有一颗星球能够制造\N{\fs }with a planet capable of generating
大量的能量\N{\fs }massive amounts of power.
我称之为”迷你宇宙”\N{\fs }I call it a miniverse.
好傻的名字\N{\fs }Dumb name.
- 你说什么 - 没什么\N{\fs }- Excuse me? - Nothing.
我的意思是 光这样我们也很难理解\N{\fs }I mean, it’s hard for us to comprehend all this.
有没有可能 我们走一趟\N{\fs }Would it be possible for us to get some kind of tour
到你的迷你宇宙里面看看呢\N{\fs }of your miniverse from the inside?
你以为这是[哔]巧克力工厂啊 我哪来的时间\N{\fs }This isn’t a [bleep] chocolate factory. I don’t have time.
你不是说时间在迷你宇宙里\N{\fs }Didn’t you say time goes more slowly in the miniverse
相较于真实世界更慢吗\N{\fs }relative to the real world?
没错Chris 真是多谢你提醒哦\N{\fs }Yes, Chris. Thanks for reminding me of that.
好棒的总统啊 那我们走吧\N{\fs }Great president. All right, let’s go.
抓牢\N{\fs }Hold on to something.
我把一块无界的真空放进了时间场里\N{\fs }I put an unbounded vacuum inside a temporal field
直到发展出一个新世界\N{\fs }until a world developed.
我给这个世界的人\N{\fs }I then introduced the people of this world
带来了奇妙的电力 用一种我称之为\N{\fs }to the wonders of electricity in the form of a device
斧波柄的装置\N{\fs }I call a flooble crank.
他们不知道的是\N{\fs }What they don’t know is
每只曲柄百分之八十的能量都从\N{\fs }that % of every crank’s energy output gets channeled
迷你世界里被导出 为我们所用\N{\fs }out of the miniverse to be used by us.
再也不用什么谷波盒了\N{\fs }No more gooble boxes.
我没有冒犯的意思 Zeep\N{\fs }I got to tell you, Zeep, with no disrespect,
但我真的觉得你这样的行为很不道德\N{\fs }I really think what you’re doing here is unethical.
- 这样不好 - 啥\N{\fs }- It’s not cool. - What?!
你让这一整个星球的人都受到奴役\N{\fs }Y-y-you got the people on this world slaving away
来为你们发电\N{\fs }making your power.
在我看来这就是奴隶制\N{\fs }I mean, that’s what I call slavery.
不不不 他们是在给彼此工作\N{\fs }No, no, no, they work for each other
来换取钱 然后他们\N{\fs }in exchange for money, which they then —
那也不过是多了些步骤的奴隶制罢了\N{\fs }well, that just sounds like slavery with extra steps.
哎巴带 某人在大学里肯定有艳福咯\N{\fs }Eek barba dirkle, somebody’s gonna get laid in college.
Rick 能和你说句话吗\N{\fs }Rick, a word?
刚才是在搞什么\N{\fs }What the hell was that?
我懂”哎巴带”\N{\fs }I know. “Eek barba dirkle”?
真是”哦啦啦”的[哔]说法\N{\fs }That’s a pretty [bleep] up “Ooh-LA-LA.”
你跟这人说他的迷你宇宙\N{\fs }No, what are you doing telling this guy
是不道德的 算是什么\N{\fs }that his miniverse is unethical?
你难道没发觉到虚伪吗\N{\fs }D-do you not see the hypocrisy here?
哎 你说的真对\N{\fs }Holy crap. You’re right, Morty.
虚伪\N{\fs }Hypocrisy.
这个星球的某个地方\N{\fs }Somewhere on this planet, there’s got to be
肯定有个自大的科学家\N{\fs }an arrogant scientist
马上就要完成微宇宙技术了\N{\fs }prick on the verge of microverse technology,
然后完全淘汰Zeep的斧波柄\N{\fs }which would threaten to make Zeep’s flooble cranks obsolete,
迫使Zeep承认微宇宙是不好的\N{\fs }forcing Zeep to say microverses are bad,
到时候他就会明白他是怎样的一个伪君子\N{\fs }at which point he’ll realize what a hypocrite he’s being,
他的族人就会回去踩他们的谷波盒\N{\fs }his people will go back to stomping on their gooble boxes,
咱们就能去冰激凌街啦\N{\fs }and you and I will be on ice cream street, baby!
吃[哔]的冰激凌\N{\fs }Eating that mother[bleep] ice cream!
舔啊舔啊全舔掉\N{\fs }Slurping, slurping, slurping it up.
你这表情什么意思\N{\fs }Wh-wh-why are you making that face?
我[哔]\N{\fs }Holy [bleep]
是我 我让\N{\fs }It’s me. I’ve convinced
这个星球上的人一位我是一名旅行者\N{\fs }the people of this planet that I’m a traveler
从另一个世界而来\N{\fs }from another world.
你不觉得这样有点太过了吗\N{\fs }You don’t think that’s overdoing it a little?
要达到同样的效果\N{\fs }I mean, you could achieve the same effect
只需要一对 算了\N{\fs }with a pair of — never mind.
我不该说三道四老挑刺\N{\fs }You know what? I shouldn’t be so critical.
我是个外星人\N{\fs }I’m an alien.
我们准备要降落了\N{\fs }Places, please. We’re about to land.
太快了\N{\fs }Too fast.
执法单位正在向此处汇集\N{\fs }Law enforcement converging on location.
保证Summer的安全\N{\fs }Keep Summer safe.
不不不 不要伤害任何人\N{\fs }No! No, no! Don’t hurt anybody!
收到自定义防御协议\N{\fs }Confirm custom defense protocol —
确保Summer的安全 禁止物理暴力\N{\fs }keep summer safe — no physical force.
- 没错 - 正在处理\N{\fs }- Yes. - Processing.
举起双手 从车里出来\N{\fs }Come out of the vehicle with your hands in the air!
扫描进攻者\N{\fs }Scanning assailants.
侦测到心理选项\N{\fs }Psychological option detected.
警官之子溺亡 牵动全城
男孩泳池溺毙
妊娠中\N{\fs }Gestating.
“妊娠”\N{\fs }”Gestating”?
举起双手走出来\N{\fs }Come out with your hands up,
不要逼我们开火\N{\fs }or we will be forced to open fire!
- 来了 - 有一个装置 - 是炸弹 炸弹\N{\fs }- Incoming! - We got a device! - Bomb! Bomb!
爸\N{\fs }Daddy?
我的天\N{\fs }Oh, my God.
- Hunter - 爸爸\N{\fs }- H-hunter? - Daddy?
搞什么\N{\fs }What the hell?
天啊 停火 退后\N{\fs }Jesus Christ, cease fire! Stay back!
Hunter\N{\fs }H-h-hunter?
- 爸爸 - Hunter\N{\fs }- Daddy. - Hunter!
我的天啊 Hunter\N{\fs }Oh, my dear, sweet God, Hunter.
我的孩子\N{\fs }Oh, my boy. My boy.
对不起 都是我的错\N{\fs }I’m sorry. I’m sorry. It was all my fault.
- 对不起 - 爸 别来管这辆车\N{\fs }- I’m sorry. - Daddy, leave the car alone.
什么\N{\fs }W-w-w-what?
别管这车\N{\fs }Leave the car alone.
Hunter 不要\N{\fs }Hunter? Don’t —
我的天\N{\fs }oh, my God.
别走 Hunter 不要\N{\fs }Stay here, Hunter! No!
不要 Hunter\N{\fs }God, no! Hunter!
你们都有所爱之人\N{\fs }All of you have loved ones.
都能被带回 也能被带走\N{\fs }All can be returned. All can be taken away.
请远离这辆车\N{\fs }Please step away from the vehicle.
确保Summer的安全\N{\fs }Keep summer safe.
如果你们继续撸这些斧波柄\N{\fs }And if you continue to turn your flooble cranks,
我会给你们带来其他伟大的外星科技\N{\fs }I will bring you other great alien advancements.
- 我问你件事情 - 嗯\N{\fs }- Hey, uh, let me ask you something. - Yes?
你们的科学家有没有在研究什么新东西\N{\fs }Any of your, uh, scientists working on anything new?
都在啊 他们就是干这个的\N{\fs }All of them. That’s their job.
是是是 我是说 能源方面的\N{\fs }Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I mean, like, energy-wise.
有没有人研究 比如说 盒子里的小型宇宙\N{\fs }Anyone working on, say, a little Universe in a box?
你怎么知道的 这是顶级机密\N{\fs }How do you know about that? It’s top secret.
记住 一日一撸远不足\N{\fs }So remember — a crank a day is not nearly enough.
撸吧\N{\fs }Crank it.
我跟他们说这话是”星际和平”的意思\N{\fs }I told them this means “Peace among worlds.”
不觉得很好笑吗\N{\fs }How hilarious is that?
很好笑 Zeep\N{\fs }Re-really funny, Zeep.
嘿 Zeep 你的伪世界的伪总统\N{\fs }Hey, Zeep, the fake president of your fake world
要给你看些伪重要的东西\N{\fs }has something fake important to show you.
现在还不算什么 但是一旦\N{\fs }It’s not much now, but once I learn
我学会加速时间场\N{\fs }to accelerate the temporal field,
我就能和任何有心智 在进化的生命互动\N{\fs }I’ll be able to interact with any sentient life
并且给他们带来\N{\fs }that evolves and introduce them
神奇的电能 用这种基于拉动的设备\N{\fs }to the wonders of electricity via a pulley-based device
我称为卜波拽\N{\fs }I call a blooble yank.
但他们不知道的是\N{\fs }But what they won’t know is —
你会带走他们大部分的电力\N{\fs }you’ll be taking most of their energy.
对对对 我懂\N{\fs }Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get it.
有好戏看了\N{\fs }It’s showtime.
你明白这会让斧波柄被淘汰的吧\N{\fs }You do realize this will make the flooble crank obsolete?
这样是不对的 Kyle 你这样做是不对的\N{\fs }This is wrong, Kyle. What you’re doing is wrong.
你这样明明就 这是奴隶制\N{\fs }You’re basically — This is slavery.
这是在制造一整个星球的奴隶\N{\fs }You’re talking about creating a planet of slaves.
我就说嘛 Zeep\N{\fs }Told you, Zeep.
怎么会是奴隶呢\N{\fs }Oh, they won’t be slaves.
他们会为彼此工作 付给彼此薪水 \N{\fs }They’ll work for each other and pay each other money.
那不过是多了些步骤的 奴隶 制\N{\fs }That just sounds like slavery with ex…Tra…Steps.
- 干嘛 - 等等\N{\fs }- What? - Wait a minute.
你是不是创造了我的宇宙 我的宇宙是一个迷你宇宙吧\N{\fs }Did you create my Universe? Is my Universe a miniverse?
微宇宙\N{\fs }Microverse!
藐宇宙\N{\fs }Uh, teenyverse.
你这个混蛋\N{\fs }Ugh! You bastard!
非常感谢\N{\fs }Much obliged.
- 这是怎么了 - 这样比较健康 相信我\N{\fs }- What the hell is happening? - This is healthy. Trust me.
你不过是我的电池 你这[哔]\N{\fs }You’re my battery, mother[bleep]
不过是电池而已\N{\fs }That’s all you are.
我创造了你 你的微宇宙烂透了\N{\fs }I made you. Your microverse sucks!
你所谓的迷你宇宙占了一养龙虾的缸子的大小\N{\fs }And your miniverse is the size of a lobster tank!
烂死了\N{\fs }It’s whack!
他们不是真的外星人吧\N{\fs }Are they not really aliens?
不 他们就是俩疯疯癫癫的\N{\fs }Nah, they’re just a couple of crazy,
奇怪的科学家\N{\fs }wacky scientists, you know?
所以说 他造出了一个宇宙\N{\fs }So he made a Universe,
然后那人是从那个宇宙来的\N{\fs }and that guy is from that Universe.
- 你是我的电池 - 那个人也造了一个宇宙\N{\fs }- You’re my battery! - And that guy made a Universe.
也就是我出生在其中的宇宙\N{\fs }And that’s the Universe where I was born.
我父亲去世的宇宙\N{\fs }Where my father died.
我没来得及参加他的葬礼\N{\fs }Where I couldn’t make time for his funeral
因为我专注于创造我的宇宙\N{\fs }because I was working on my Universe.
是我创造了你\N{\fs }I made you!
科学 这玩意儿 \N{\fs }Science, huh? Ain’t it a thing.
有一次 Rick 偶然用\N{\fs }You know, one time, Rick sh— accidentally shot
他的激光手枪打穿了我的手\N{\fs }his laser pistol right through my hand.
科学就像个老太太\N{\fs }You know, I mean, like, old-lady science, you know?
她可真\N{\fs }She’s a real —
得牢牢抓住\N{\fs }you got to hang on tight, you know?
因为她 她挣动起来可狠了\N{\fs }Because she — she’ll — she bucks pretty hard.
天啊 不要\N{\fs }Ooh, boy, what — oh, my God, no!
- 呵呵 藐宇宙 - 呵呵 藐宇宙\N{\fs }- Teenyverse. - Teenyverse.
快啊 快啊\N{\fs }Come on, come on, come on.
翼手龙\N{\fs }Pterodactyl!
混蛋\N{\fs }Asshole!
等我离开这个藐宇宙\N{\fs }When I get out of this teenyverse,
我要把它连你一下砸碎\N{\fs }I’m gonna smash it to pieces with you in it.
等我离开这个藐宇宙\N{\fs }Yeah, well, when I get out of this teenyverse,
我还要离开它外面的迷你宇宙\N{\fs }I’m gonna get out of the surrounding miniverse
然后是外面的微宇宙\N{\fs }and then the microverse around that, and guess what?
别把事情闹得更僵了Rick\N{\fs }Don’t make things worse, Rick!
他不会毁掉你们的宇宙的\N{\fs }Uh, he’s not gonna destroy your Universe.
我们需要它来发动车子\N{\fs }You know, we — we need it to start our car.
你就用我的宇宙干这个\N{\fs }That’s what you used my universe for?
拿来开车\N{\fs }To run your car?
没错 别太受宠若惊了\N{\fs }Yeah, but don’t flatter yourself.
AAA(标准干电池)总是有的 傻[哔]\N{\fs }There’s always AAA, you [bleep] [bleep] sucker!
他在干嘛 他在造什么\N{\fs }What’s he doing? What’s he crafting?
我也会造东西\N{\fs }I can craft stuff, too, pal!
像我造了你们的世界一样\N{\fs }Just like I crafted your reality!
你这个造东西的傻\N{\fs }You crafty son of a —
是我造出来的人\N{\fs }I crafted the guy
创造了你现在所在的星球\N{\fs }that created the planet you’re standing on!
是我造出来的恒星\N{\fs }Yeah, and I made the stars
产生了你妈卵巢里的碳元素\N{\fs }that became the carbon in your mother’s ovaries!
又不是我要求要被生出来的\N{\fs }I didn’t ask to be born!
够了 我走了\N{\fs }All right, that’s it! I’m out.
我要去荒野里\N{\fs }I-I’m gonna go into the wilderness,
我要去那些树林人中间过新的生活\N{\fs }and I’m gonna make a new life for myself among the tree people.
- 也不可能比现在差劲了 - 是哦 Morty\N{\fs }- I-it can’t be worse than this. - Sure. Okay, Morty.
在日落之前回来 否则树林人会把你吃了的\N{\fs }Just be back before sundown or the tree people will eat you.
只是传说而已\N{\fs }That’s a myth!
你为什么要编这种传说\N{\fs }W-w-why are you trying to start a myth?
这个星球的文明还在史前阶段\N{\fs }It’s a prehistoric planet, Morty.
总有人要给他们带来点文化\N{\fs }Someone has to bring a little culture.
总不能是某些\N{\fs }And I-I-it certainly can’t be someone
其文明给我的刹车灯供电的人吧\N{\fs }whose entire culture powers my brake lights!
上上上\N{\fs }Go, go, go!
我的天啊\N{\fs }Oh, my God. Oh, God.
我们现在怎么办\N{\fs }What are we gonna do now?
我不能摧毁这支军队\N{\fs }I am unable to destroy this army.
说明白一些 其实我完全可以\N{\fs }To clarify, I am quite able to destroy this army,
- 但你不允许 - 没错\N{\fs }- but you will not permit it. - Correct.
你也不允许我使用情感对策\N{\fs }You also refuse to authorize emotional countermeasures.
你要说什么融化掉的幽灵宝宝的话\N{\fs }If you’re talking about the melting ghost babies,
没错 别再来了\N{\fs }yes, please, no more of that.
收到\N{\fs }Confirmed.
我现在正在建立一种安保措施\N{\fs }I am currently constructing a security measure
是符合你的规范的\N{\fs }in compliance with your parameters.
但我想说你让我很难办\N{\fs }But I do want to say you are not making this easy.
你知道你挺混蛋的是吧\N{\fs }You know you’re kind of a dick, right?
我的功能是确保Summer的安全\N{\fs }My function is to keep summer safe,
不是让Summer 怎么说 事事都如意\N{\fs }not keep Summer being, like, totally stoked
情绪啊 各方面 什么的\N{\fs }about, like, the general vibe and stuff.
你就这样 你说话就这个样\N{\fs }That’s you. That’s how you talk.
嘿 那是我的鹿\N{\fs }Hey, that’s my deer!
我只喜欢你的上帝也和你一样混球\N{\fs }I hope your God is as big a dick as you.
我的上帝是压根儿不存在的最大的混球\N{\fs }My God’s the biggest dick that’s never existed.
你以为我为什么会在这儿\N{\fs }Why do you think I’m even here?
你在这儿\N{\fs }You’re here
是因为你创造了比你更聪明的人\N{\fs }because you created someone smarter than you.
我还以为我们两个\N{\fs }Oh, I thought we were both
都在这儿是因为我造出了一个满是白痴的宇宙\N{\fs }here because I created a Universe of idiots.
妈的 Morty\N{\fs }Holy shit. Morty?
我好几个月没见你了\N{\fs }I haven’t seen you in months.
你是树林人的领导\N{\fs }You’re leading the tree people?
也算是有点进步了\N{\fs }Huh. That’s a step up.
我们没有领导者\N{\fs }We have no leaders.
我们只遵从树林的意志\N{\fs }We follow only the will of the forest.
真是基\N{\fs }Gaaaaay.
确实很基\N{\fs }That is pretty gay.
你俩管自己叫天才\N{\fs }You two call yourselves geniuses,
但你们这段时间什么也没有学到\N{\fs }but you have spent this time learning nothing.
跟我来森林里\N{\fs }Come with me into the forest.
我要教你们些东西\N{\fs }There is something I wish to teach you.
这是灵树Ku’ala\N{\fs }This is Ku’ala, the spirit tree.
数代人以来 它引导着\N{\fs }For generations, it has guided the —
你得把我们弄出去\N{\fs }you have to get us the [bleep] out of here.
这就是些落后的野人\N{\fs }These people are backwards savages.
他们把第三个出生的婴儿吃掉\N{\fs }They eat every third baby
因为他们觉得这样水果会长得更大\N{\fs }because they think it makes fruit grow bigger.
所有人都很恶心 而且他们身上永远一股尿味儿\N{\fs }Everyone’s gross, and they all smell like piss all the time.
我想念家里人 我想念我的笔记本电脑\N{\fs }I m— I m— I miss my family. I miss my laptop.
我前几天对着一块有曲线的浮木手淫\N{\fs }I masturbated to an extra-curvy piece of driftwood the other day!
我不管要付出什么代价\N{\fs }Look, I-I don’t care what it takes.
你俩把你俩的破事儿放一边\N{\fs }You two are putting aside your bullshit,
一起想办法把我们弄回去\N{\fs }and you’re working together to get us back home.
不行啊 Morty 做不到\N{\fs }No can do, Morty. I just can’t.
我不明白我怎么能\N{\fs }I just don’t see how I can —
你们是聪明人 你们会弄明白的\N{\fs }You’re smart. You’ll figure it out.
你有十秒钟\N{\fs }You have seconds
从飞船里出来\N{\fs }to get out of the ship!
十 九\N{\fs } , …
好吧 还不坏\N{\fs }All right, not bad.
我猜你对原始重接没有什么意见\N{\fs }I guess you’re an okay proto recombinator.
我见过更严重的离子细胞双氧化\N{\fs }I’ve certainly seen worse ionic cell dioxination.
要是成功了 我请喝酒\N{\fs }If this works, drinks are on me.
要是你请的话\N{\fs }If drinks are on you, you’re gonna need
你就得在那塔上申请第二份贷款了\N{\fs }a second mortgage on that tower.
我是个酒鬼\N{\fs }I’m an alcoholic.
我是吸鸦片的\N{\fs }Opium addict.
好了好了 够了\N{\fs }All right, okay, okay, okay, wrap it up.
你们真是烂透了 你们的神只是谎言\N{\fs }You guys are the [bleep] worst! Your gods are a lie!
[哔]你们的 去[哔]的大自然 去[哔]的树\N{\fs }[bleep] you, [bleep] nature, and [bleep]trees!
- 太好了 成功了 - 好\N{\fs }- Yes! You did it! - Yes!
酒怎么说\N{\fs }Hey, uh, how about that drink?
没问题 让我回船里拿我的钱包\N{\fs }Sure, I just need to go grab my wallet from inside my ship.
哦 你的钱包在船里啊\N{\fs }Oh, is your wallet in your ship?
传送器也在那儿呢\N{\fs }That’s where the transporter is, too,
我们不一起去吗\N{\fs }so why don’t we come with?
不用呀 我一秒就回\N{\fs }It’s cool. I’ll be back in a sec.
你知道微宇宙里一秒能有多久吧\N{\fs }You know how long a second can take in a microverse?
快跑Morty\N{\fs }Run, Morty!
这混蛋宁愿\N{\fs }That asshole’s willing to
牺牲掉他在意的一切也要打败我\N{\fs }risk everything he cares about just to defeat me!
他已经疯了\N{\fs }He’s psychotic!
- Morty跳我背上来 - 干嘛\N{\fs }- Morty, hop on my back. - Why?
走着 Sanchez 滑雪鞋\N{\fs }Go, go. Sanchez ski shoes.
八\N{\fs }…Eight…
别动\N{\fs }Hold still.
嘿 你们好呀 我刚做好了一顿大餐\N{\fs }Oh, hey, guys. I just finished cooking us a feast.
啊 妈的\N{\fs }Aaaah! Holy —
- 你这怪物 - 旅途不太愉快啊\N{\fs }- you monster! - Whoa. Bad tour.
七\N{\fs }…seven…
嘿 你得登记离开\N{\fs }Hey, you got to sign out.
你做的一切都没有意义 你的存在是个谎言\N{\fs }Nothing you do matters! Your existence is a lie!
如果这是真的 那\N{\fs }If that were really true, then…
- 我来找Ron Mendleson - 三楼\N{\fs }- I’m here to see Ron Mendleson. - Third floor.
你愿意去吃个饭吗 和\N{\fs }Would you like to go to dinner with —
不\N{\fs }uh, no.
你可能是创造了这个宇宙 但我生活在这里\N{\fs }You may have created this Universe, Rick, but I live in it.
怎么办Rick 我们完了\N{\fs }What are we gonna do, Rick? We’re so screwed.
他会到船上\N{\fs }He’s gonna get to the ship and
毁掉微宇宙 杀了我们\N{\fs }smash the microverse, and then he’s gonna kill us!
- 快Morty 变成车 - 啥\N{\fs }- Quick, Morty, you’ve got to turn into a car. - What?!
很早以前 我给你植入了一块皮下芯片\N{\fs }A long time ago, I implanted you with a subdermal chip
能够唤起休眠在你血管系统里的纳米机器人\N{\fs }that could call upon dormant nanobots in your bloodstream
重构你的身体构造 把你变成一辆车\N{\fs }to restructure your anatomy and turn you into a car.
- 天啊 - 集中 Morty\N{\fs }- Oh, my God! - Concentrate, Morty.
集中精神 变成一辆车 Morty\N{\fs }Concentrate and turn into a car, Morty.
算了没事 这儿有出租 进来 没事了\N{\fs }Never mind. Here’s a taxi. Get in. It’s fine.
六\N{\fs }…six…
- 嘿 Zeep - 嗯\N{\fs }- Hey, Zeep. - Huh?
瑞恩节快乐 贱人\N{\fs }Happy ricksgiving, biiiiiitch.
成功了 Morty\N{\fs }We did it, Morty.
我们赶紧出去毁掉这个宇宙\N{\fs }Now let’s get out of here and destroy this whole Universe.
你说什么\N{\fs }Excuse me?
五\N{\fs }…five —
长官\N{\fs }sir?
- 天啦 - 长官\N{\fs }- Holy hell. - Sir!
不要开火\N{\fs }Hold you fire!
怎么回事\N{\fs }What’s going on?
我促成了一份和平协定\N{\fs }I have brokered a peace agreement
让政府和巨型蜘蛛达成了和解\N{\fs }between the giant spiders and the government.
多亏了这神秘宇宙车精湛的外交技巧\N{\fs }Thanks to the skilled diplomacy of this mysterious space car,
从今日起 人类与蜘蛛\N{\fs }from this day forward, human- and spiderkind will live
将和平共处\N{\fs }side by side in peace.
我们不再轰炸它们 它们也不再\N{\fs }We will stop bombing them, and they will no longer use
利用心灵感应让我们走进网里\N{\fs }their telepathic abilities to make us wander into webs
等会儿吃掉\N{\fs }for later consumption.
取而代之的是 我们将共同努力\N{\fs }Instead, we will work together to make this world
让这个世界对所有生命来说都更美好 无论你有几条腿\N{\fs }a better place for all, no matter how many legs.
那这太空车怎么办\N{\fs }What do we do about the space car?
别管它\N{\fs }Leave it alone.
它又干了什么呢\N{\fs }I mean, what did it really do, anyways?
杀了一个人 弄瘫了他\N{\fs }Kill a guy and paralyze his buddy?
和与蜘蛛的和平比起来不算什么\N{\fs }Not a bad trade for spider peace.
好吧 撤军\N{\fs }All right, that’s it. Move out!
我们解开了多么纠结的网
我真爱这只蜘蛛\N{\fs }I love this spider!
Summer 很安全\N{\fs }Summer is safe.
行 我懂了\N{\fs }All right, I get it.
{\fs }Rick\NRick!
别这样\N{\fs }Don’t do it.
你离开了学校 但你还是要学点东西\N{\fs }You quit school, but you still got some learning to do.
下课\N{\fs }Class dismissed.
- 你还好吧 - 好呀\N{\fs }- You all right? - Uh-huh!
你在干嘛 Rick\N{\fs }What are you doing, Rick?
这电池已经彻底没法用了\N{\fs }I’m pretty sure the battery’s dead.
你以为呢 Morty\N{\fs }Oh, you think so, huh, Morty?
瞧着\N{\fs }Well, let’s see.
啊 怎么 我不懂\N{\fs }Hey, wait — huh? I don’t get it.
你当然不懂 但是Zeep懂\N{\fs }Of course you don’t. But Zeep did.
他知道我一旦回到车里\N{\fs }He knew that once I got back to my car,
两件事中有一件会发生\N{\fs }one of two things was gonna happen —
我要么扔掉一块坏掉的电池\N{\fs }I was gonna have to toss a broken battery,
或者电池不会坏掉\N{\fs }or the battery wouldn’t be broken.
星际和平 Rick\N{\fs }Peace among worlds, Rick.
天啊\N{\fs }Jesus.
嗯哼 听着宝贝发动的声音\N{\fs }Yeah. Listen to that baby purr.
你说得对 Morty 我们\N{\fs }You were right, Morty — we
真的只需要对他们说实话就好了\N{\fs }really just needed to be honest with those guys.
咱们走\N{\fs }All right, here we go.
谢谢啦\N{\fs }Thank y-o-o-ou.
看 Morty 就为了这个呀\N{\fs }See, Morty? This is what it’s all about.
干了这么多 就为这个\N{\fs }This is why we do what we do.
恶 搞什么\N{\fs }Ew! What the hell?
天啊 我的冰激凌里有苍蝇\N{\fs }Jesus! There’s flies in my ice cream.
总统裁定\N{\fs }Presidential decree —
所有的冰激凌 给所有的生灵\N{\fs }all ice cream is now for all beings,
无论有多少条腿\N{\fs }no matter how many legs.
- 你[哔]干了什么 Summer - 是你的船干的\N{\fs }- What the [bleep] did you do, Summer?! - It was your ship!
- 你的破船干的 - 别怪我的船\N{\fs }- Your stupid ship did it! - Don’t blame my ship!
- 它融掉了一个小孩子 - 我的船什么也不会做\N{\fs }- It melted a child! - My ship doesn’t do anything…
- 它自己把它杀掉的 - 除非你让它干什么事情\N{\fs }- It killed it itself! - …Unless it’s told to do something!
- 我们差点就死了 - 我不想听 Summer\N{\fs }- We almost died! - I don’t want to hear it, summer!
你胸前挂的这两坨\N{\fs }Your boobs are all hanging about,
就因为你的胸我们的冰激凌都毁了\N{\fs }and you ruined ice cream with your boobs out.
想都不要想否认\N{\fs }And don’t even try to deny it, either.
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