Steve 我收到了一封奇怪的邮件\N{\fs }Steve, I just got a weird e-mail.
    - 你给我们买机票了吗 - 露馅了\N{\fs }- Did you buy us airline tickets? - Aw, shoot.
    本来该是个惊喜的\N{\fs }It was supposed to be a surprise.
    我想感谢你们\N{\fs }I wanted to thank you
    让我在这里住了这么久\N{\fs }for letting me live here all this time,
    所以我请大家去度假\N{\fs }so I’m treating the family to a vacation!
    Steve 你真好\N{\fs }Steve, you’re so sweet.
    - 谢谢Steve伯伯 - 伯伯最棒\N{\fs }- Thanks, Uncle Steve! - Best Uncle ever.
    小心咯 外面的世界\N{\fs }Look out, world.
    我们一家要去巴黎啦\N{\fs }The Smith family is going to Paris!
    爽呆\N{\fs }Yeah!
    Rick 别把发光的石头扔在厨房的垃圾桶\N{\fs }Rick, I don’t like glowing rocks in the kitchen trash!
    那你也别把你那失业的基因\N{\fs }Well, I don’t like your unemployed genes
    传给我孙子孙女\N{\fs }in my grandchildren, Jerry
    但是活着就要学会妥协\N{\fs }But life is made of little concessions.
    我 懒得跟你说\N{\fs }I…you know what?
    你的工作会稳定下来的 Jer\N{\fs }You’re gonna land on your feet, Jer.
    会有一家公司因为雇了我弟弟\N{\fs }Some company out there’s gonna thank their lucky stars
    而感谢上苍的\N{\fs }they hired my little brother.
    - 你[哔]是谁 - 我的呆哥哥 Steve\N{\fs }- Who the [bleep] are you? - My goofy brother, Steve.
    他在这住了快一年了\N{\fs }He’s been living here almost a year now.
    你疯了吗\N{\fs }Are you losing your mind?
    他玩那发光石头\N{\fs }Hey, someone’s been spending too much time
    玩傻了吧 哈哈\N{\fs }around glowing rocks. Am I right?
    - 我的天 - 快叫救护车\N{\fs }- Oh, my God! - Call an ambulance!
    Rick你这是搞什么\N{\fs }What the hell, Rick?! What the hell?!
    你们能不能别紧张\N{\fs }Will everybody just relax for a second?
    根本就没有”Steve伯伯”这号人\N{\fs }There’s no such thing as an “Uncle Steve”.
    这是个外星寄生虫\N{\fs }That is an alien parasite.
    但是我们从小就认识啊\N{\fs }But I’ve known him my whole life.
    当然不是这样\N{\fs }No, you haven’t, Jerry.
    这些怪物能心灵感应\N{\fs }These telepathic little bastards,
    他们把自己植入你们的记忆中\N{\fs }they embed themselves in memories,
    然后就借机繁殖\N{\fs }and th-then they use those to multiply
    扩张种群 占领整个星球\N{\fs }and spread out, take over planets.
    真是 恶心\N{\fs }It’s… it’s disgusting.
    没有Steve这个人吗\N{\fs }Steve wasn’t real?
    它不是人 就是坨屎\N{\fs }He’s a real piece of shit.
    这东西已经长这么大了\N{\fs }This is a big one.
    可能它粘在谁鞋底\N{\fs }Somebody probably tracked it in last week
    或者某人把什么外星水果带回来\N{\fs }on the bottom of their shoe
    这玩意才到我们家的\N{\fs }or on a piece of alien fruit.
    - 某人 - 别忙着抢占道德制高点\N{\fs }- Someone? - Get off the high road, Summer.
    我们得红眼病\N{\fs }We all got pink eye
    还不就是因为你上厕所的时候一直发短信\N{\fs }because you won’t stop texting on the toilet.
    但是Steve伯伯教我骑的单车\N{\fs }But Uncle Steve taught me how to ride a bike!
    不 这东西让你这么认为的\N{\fs }No, “Steve” Put that memory in your brain
    所以它才能吃你的住你的 然后繁殖\N{\fs }so he could live in your house, eat your food, and multiply.
    可能已经滋生起来了\N{\fs }We could be infested with these things.
    我们得小心那些\N{\fs }So we got to keep an eye out
    突然冒出来的乱七八糟古里古怪的人\N{\fs }for any zany, wacky characters that pop up.
    在这里\N{\fs }Ooh, whee!
    你需要什么 我们都乐意效劳\N{\fs }Whatever you want, Rick! We’re here to help!
    谢谢 便便洞先生\N{\fs }Thanks, Mr.Poopybutthole.
    你太靠得住啦\N{\fs }I always could count on you.
    : : . , : : . ,Default,, , , ,,{\fs \an }本集片头有彩蛋
    我们一共只有六个人\N{\fs }All right. There’s six of us, and that’s it.
    我 Morty Jerry Beth 便便洞先生 和Summer\N{\fs }Me, Morty, Jerry, Beth, Mr.Poopybutthole, and Summer.
    说不定第一只被你及时清理掉了 Rick\N{\fs }Maybe you got the first one in time, Rick!
    不能冒这个险\N{\fs }Can’t afford to chance it.
    老爸 为什么我们家会有防爆屏蔽\N{\fs }Dad, why does our house have blast shields?
    Beth 这个问题的答案太多了\N{\fs }Trust me, Beth, you don’t want to know how many answers
    你还是不知道为妙\N{\fs }that question has.
    简直要有幽闭恐怖症了\N{\fs }Ooh, gosh, it feels claustrophobic!
    让我想起来\N{\fs }Reminds me of that time
    我们被困在电梯里那次\N{\fs }we all got stuck in the elevator together.
    你 你们还记得吗 浩克音乐剧那次\N{\fs }Y…remember that? After “The hulk” Musical?
    不是锤得用力 按钮就会变好用的 Jerry\N{\fs }Jerry, buttons don’t work better if you hit them harder,
    而且泡沫拳套也不会让你变强\N{\fs }and foam fists don’t make you strong.
    我知道 朋友才会让我变强\N{\fs }I know. Friends make you strong.
    刚才的音乐剧我又不是没看\N{\fs }I watched the same musical you did.
    为什么不让我把传送枪带上\N{\fs }Why couldn’t I bring my portal gun?
    为什么所有的饮料都是特大杯\N{\fs }Why did all the drinks have to be extra large?
    因为浩克块头大 我才意识到\N{\fs }Oh, the hulk. I just got that.
    直接尿裤子好了 我们刚困住的时候我就尿了\N{\fs }Just pee your pants. I did it the minute we got stuck.
    好吧好吧 我很丢人\N{\fs }Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, shame me.
    好歹我还知道我说的话恶心 \N{\fs }At least when I’m disgusting, it’s on purpose.
    我们会没事的\N{\fs }Oh, y’all, we’re gonna be fine.
    我一直在你们身边 永远都会\N{\fs }I’ve always been here for you guys, and I always will be.
    有人叫了修理工吗\N{\fs }Somebody call for repairs?
    耶 Nicky表兄\N{\fs }Yay! Cousin Nicky!
    是我 Nicky表兄\N{\fs }It’s me, cousin Nicky.
    表哥我两脚生风 现在没有真的在走啦\N{\fs }I’m walkin’ here! I mean, I’m not.
    我蹲在电梯竖井里呢\N{\fs }I’m crouched in the elevator shaft,
    但表哥我举步生风\N{\fs }but hey, I’m walkin’ here!
    真的\N{\fs }It’s true.
    我们一家确实会遇到一些奇怪的情况\N{\fs }We really do get into some crazy situations as a family,
    特别是这样被关在一起的时候\N{\fs }mostly when we’re cooped up like this.
    也许便便洞先生说得对\N{\fs }Hey, maybe Mr.Poopypants is right.
    我 我们开门通通风吧\N{\fs }L-let’s get some fresh air.
    别这样Nicky 你听到刚才Rick说的了\N{\fs }Come on, cousin Nicky. You heard Rick.
    在确信清理完那些怪物之前\N{\fs }We have to stay quarantined until
    我们必须与外界隔离\N{\fs }we know that there’s no more of these things.
    我明白你的意思\N{\fs }I hear you, Morty.
    在布鲁克林那边 我们有个说法\N{\fs }Back in Brooklyn, we got a sayin’…
    咱举步生风\N{\fs }”We’re walkin’ here!”
    Nicky 把\N{\fs }Nicky, get …
    啊\N{\fs }Oh!
    这\N{\fs }What the…?
    Nicky表兄是个寄生虫\N{\fs }Cousin Nicky was a parasite?!
    六个人 Morty 我们应该是六个人\N{\fs }Six, Morty! There’s supposed to be six of us!
    有七个人的话说明其中一个是假的\N{\fs }If there’s seven, then that means somebody’s not real.
    但是你怎么知道是Nicky的\N{\fs }But how did you know it was Nicky?
    我猜的 所以瞄的是他肩膀\N{\fs }I guessed. That’s why I aimed for his shoulder.
    所以我们现在不能相信自己的记忆了吗\N{\fs }So we can’t trust any of our memories now?
    多亏Nicky我们才找到那艘纳粹潜艇的\N{\fs }Nicky was the reason we found that old Nazi submarine.
    难道那件事情没有发生吗\N{\fs }Did that not even happen?
    当然有这件事\N{\fs }Well, of course it happened.
    现在我拥有了拉咕巴巴魔杖\N{\fs }Now that I possess the mighty staff of rah-gubaba,
    世界会在德意志第四帝国面前颤抖\N{\fs }the world will tremble before the fourth reich!
    这是我最后一次\N{\fs }This is the last time
    请你帮我复习历史末考了Rick\N{\fs }I ask you for help on my history final, Rick.
    我们布鲁克林专门有个词来骂纳粹\N{\fs }Hey, we got a word for Nazis back in Brooklyn, pal.
    我不介意被叫成纳粹\N{\fs }I’m comfortable being called a Nazi.
    你觉得我还会在意别的词吗\N{\fs }You think there’s some other word that will hurt my feelings?
    说话之前动动脑子\N{\fs }Yeah. Think before you talk shit
    拉咕巴巴 助我灭了美国\N{\fs }Rah-gubaba, help me kill America!
    Beauregard先生\N{\fs }Mr.Beauregard!
    充分考虑后 我决定不退休了\N{\fs }After due consideration, I have elected not to retire.
    谢天谢地\N{\fs }Yeah! Oh, thank God!
    有人是不是要去参加什么考试啊\N{\fs }Now, I believe someone has a final exam to attend.
    目标 Morty的高中\N{\fs }Set a course for Morty’s high school.
    可能我的想法有偏见 但是如果那件事没发生\N{\fs }Perhaps I’m biased, but if that story never happened,
    我可能已经不是家里的管家了\N{\fs }then I wouldn’t still be the family Butler.
    真是不敢想啊\N{\fs }Dare to dream.
    等等\N{\fs }Wait.
    如果Beauregard先生不是我们的管家\N{\fs }And if Mr.Beauregard wasn’t our Butler,
    那我们家肯定会遇到更多麻烦\N{\fs }it’s safe to say the family’d be in a hell of a lot of trouble.
    不 别再回忆了\N{\fs }No! Don’t flashback!
    你这样只会更肿的\N{\fs }You’re just gonna make more swelling,
    - 放松 - 别担心Jerry\N{\fs }- just relax. - Don’t worry, Jerry,
    我们已经联系消防队了\N{\fs }we called the fire department.
    你知道他们不会再来这里了\N{\fs }You know they won’t come here anymore.
    橘子酱奉上\N{\fs }Marmalade is served.
    - 真棒 - 好极了\N{\fs }- Yeah! - Oh, whee!
    我收回原先对英国烹饪的评价 \N{\fs }I guess I take back what I said about British cuisine.
    接招 Summer\N{\fs }Take that, Summer!
    我们还要睡觉呢\N{\fs }We’re trying to sleep.
    我不想一个人去那个舞会\N{\fs }I don’t want to go to the dance alone.
    那就不要一个人去\N{\fs }Then perhaps you shouldn’t.
    Beauregard先生\N{\fs }Aww. Mr.Beauregard.
    - 我们走吧 Morty少爷 - 我们走\N{\fs }- Shall we, master Morty? - We shall.
    等等 在出发之前\N{\fs }Oh, wait, don’t leave without letting
    先让摄影迅猛龙拍张照\N{\fs }photography raptor take a picture.
    别再回忆了\N{\fs }Everybody stop remembering!
    这些寄生物就像臭虫\N{\fs }These parasites are like bed bugs,
    每次闪回就是一层床垫\N{\fs }and every flashback is another mattress. Look!
    屋里应该只有六个人\N{\fs }There’s only supposed to be six people in this house.
    但是一直都是十个人啊\N{\fs }But there’s always been .
    不对\N{\fs }No!
    我写下这个数字就说明\N{\fs }Uh, the fact that I wrote this number down
    这里有四只寄生虫\N{\fs }means that there’s four parasites.
    你能确定吗 Rick\N{\fs }You sure about that, Rick?
    恕我直言 主人\N{\fs }Begging your pardon, master Rick,
    但是关于这个数字\N{\fs }but I seem to recall a great deal of confusion
    我记忆中有些不一样啊\N{\fs }surrounding that number.
    我们一共六个人\N{\fs }All right, there’s six of us.
    只有六个\N{\fs }And that’s it.
    我 Morty Jerry Beth 便便洞先生\N{\fs }Me, Morty, Jerry, Beth, Mr. Poopybutthole,
    弗兰肯斯坦 瞌睡Gary 摄影迅猛龙\N{\fs }Frankenstein, sleepy Gary, photography raptor,
    Beauregard先生 和Summer\N{\fs }Mr. Beauregard, and Summer.
    老爸 一共十个人\N{\fs }Uh, dad, that’s like people.
    六个 十个 有什么区别吗\N{\fs } , , what’s the difference?
    我只是平白无故地喜欢这个数字而已\N{\fs }I just love the number for no reason!
    我的笔呢\N{\fs }Where’s my pencil at?
    这里 用我吧\N{\fs }Here, Rick! Use me!
    多谢 铅笔君\N{\fs }Oh, thanks, Pencilvester!
    好像确实是如此\N{\fs }Yeah, I-I g…I guess that is what happened,
    但我不懂我为什么那么做\N{\fs }but I-I don’t get why I would do that.
    每个人都会犯错的 Rick\N{\fs }Everybody makes mistakes, Rick.
    要不然我为什么带个橡皮呢\N{\fs }Why do you think I have one of these?
    对了 照片\N{\fs }That’s it. Photos.
    照片是确凿的证据\N{\fs }Hard evidence.
    我的照片里没一张有你 便便洞先生\N{\fs }You’re not in any of my photos, Mr.Poopybutthole.
    这能说明什么\N{\fs }Well, what do you know about this?
    我的照片里也没有你\N{\fs }You’re not in any of mine.
    我的照片都是我和学校的朋友的\N{\fs }All I have are pictures of me and my friends from school.
    怎么了 哪个十来岁少女的手机里会存家人的照片\N{\fs }What? What teenage girl has pictures of her family?
    我们又不是摩门教徒 又不是快要死了\N{\fs }It’s not like we’re mormon or dying.
    我觉得可疑的是 Summer唯一的朋友\N{\fs }I will admit it’s suspicious that Summer’s only friend
    是一只我们没见过的芭蕾舞魔法小羊\N{\fs }is a magic ballerina lamb that we’ve never seen.
    {\fs \an }可能是在暗指<宝石宠物Tinkle> 该系列被改编成了 ds游戏
    Summer\N{\fs }Summer!
    Tinkles\N{\fs }Tinkles!
    现在已经到睡觉时间了哎\N{\fs }It’s past my bedtime.
    {\fs \an }tinkle也有尿尿的意思
    让我带你去永不会有该去睡觉时间的乐园吧\N{\fs }Not in never past bedtime land!
    走吧\N{\fs }Here we go!
    Summer和Tinkles\N{\fs }Summer and tinkles
    {\fs \an }此处”致敬”Lil Jon混音版的Cooking by the Book的mv
    我们是朋友\N{\fs }Friends with each other
    生活在无眠乐园\N{\fs }Living in never past bedtime land
    不再尿在水槽\N{\fs }No kitchen sinkles
    不再有烦人的弟弟\N{\fs }No little brother
    尽情狂欢 挥舞双手\N{\fs }Going to raves and waving our hands
    Summer和Tinkle 友情永不负\N{\fs }Summer and tinkle, friends to the end
    群发给所有人 我妈 我哥们\N{\fs }Group text the whole crew, my mother… Friends!
    蘸完茄汁放盐渣 盐渣之后再油炸\N{\fs }Ketchup to the salt, salt to the fry
    给I大写的Inkle加上T\N{\fs }”T” to the “Inkle” with a capital “I”
    Summer 我们要睡了哎\N{\fs }Summer, we’re trying to sleep.
    是Tinkles\N{\fs }It was tinkles!
    Tinkles\N{\fs }Tinkles?
    太 太可疑了\N{\fs }That is su… … Suspicious.
    我们经常听说这什么Tinkles\N{\fs }We’re always hearing about this tinkles character,
    - 但是我们从来没有 - 嗨 大家好\N{\fs }- but we never get to… - Hi, everybody.
    我是Tinkles 这些是我的朋友\N{\fs }I’m tinkles, and these are my friends.
    看到了没 Tinkles是真的\N{\fs }See, everyone? Tinkles is real.
    所以说我也是真的\N{\fs }That means so am I.
    Summer 对不起\N{\fs }Sorry, Summer. Man, I’m sorry, summer.
    这次我要站在干草叉的另外一端了\N{\fs }I was on the wrong side of the pitchfork on this one.
    {\fs \an }在电影<科学怪人>里面 弗兰肯斯坦被人拿着干草叉和火把追着打
    听着 其实我们不需要证据或者逻辑\N{\fs }Okay, look, we shouldn’t need evidence or logic
    来推出谁是自家人而谁不是\N{\fs }to know who’s family and who isn’t.
    我知道Smith一家都有些什么人\N{\fs }I know who the Smiths are.
    我高中就认识Beth了\N{\fs }I’ve known Beth since high school.
    她的老公 瞌睡Gary\N{\fs }And her husband, sleepy Gary,
    无疑是我最好的朋友\N{\fs }is hands down my absolute best friend.
    Jerry 谢谢\N{\fs }Thanks, Jerry.
    还有 不想冒犯你们\N{\fs }Beyond that, no offense to any of you,
    但是 现在你们都有嫌疑\N{\fs }but all bets are off.
    这么长时间心存疑虑 我很不习惯\N{\fs }Look, I’m not used to being this unsure for this long.
    我打算就从这个怪丫头开始 一个个瞄着肩膀打\N{\fs }I’m just gonna aim for shoulders starting with the weird girl.
    啊\N{\fs }Aah!
    - Rick外公 - 不要动 “Summer”\N{\fs }- Grandpa Rick! - Hold still, “Summer.”
    Rick 这是我女儿\N{\fs }Rick, that is my daughter.
    万一只是你这么以为呢\N{\fs }Oh, yeah? Well, what if you just think that, sleepy Gary?
    我认识你 年了 不要让我伤害你\N{\fs }I’ve known you for years. Don’t make me hurt you.
    Rick 这些是我们的家人和朋友\N{\fs }Rick, these are our family and friends,
    和我们一起去烧烤的人\N{\fs }the people we barbecue with.
    你忘记那次烧烤了吗\N{\fs }Have you forgotten the barbecue?
    等等 为什么你让我\N{\fs }Wait, why would you want me to …
    你肯定是寄生虫吧\N{\fs }you’re one of them, aren’t you?
    Rick 你不是很喜欢那些烧烤吗\N{\fs }Rick. You love those barbecues, Rick.
    你简直爱死了 嘿\N{\fs }You love them. Hai!
    Rick 还记得吗\N{\fs }Remember it, Rick?
    闭嘴 培根武士 闭嘴 阿米什半机械人\N{\fs }Shut up, hamurai! Shut up, amish cyborg!
    现在什么情况 年代柯南秀吗\N{\fs }What is this? ‘ s Conan?
    别忘了烧烤\N{\fs }Remember the barbecue.
    别忘了烧烤\N{\fs }Remember the barbecue.
    别忘了烧烤\N{\fs }Remember the barbecue.
    你知道吗 铅笔君\N{\fs }You know what, pencilvester?
    那么老了 我才意识到\N{\fs }It took me my whole life to realize it,
    我超爱烧烤啊\N{\fs }but I love barbecuing.
    - 你是烧烤高手啊 Rick - 大家 瞧瞧我啊 \N{\fs }- You’re good at it, Rick. - Watch me, baby.
    我简直就是电影”杯中杯”中的汤姆克鲁斯\N{\fs }I’m like Tom Cruise from, um, “Cuisine”
    {\fs \an }那部电影叫<鸡尾酒>
    那部电影叫什么来着 反正他在里面调饮料\N{\fs }or w-whatever that movie’s called where he makes drinks.
    瞧瞧我多厉害\N{\fs }Yeah, check me out.
    我简直就是”杯中杯”的汤姆克鲁斯\N{\fs }I’m like Tom cruise from “Cuisine.”
    太棒了\N{\fs }Yeah.
    是这个名字吗 “杯中杯”\N{\fs }Is that what it’s called? “Cuisine”?
    嘿 大家好啊\N{\fs }Wow! Hey, everybody.
    让我们为烧烤大师Rick欢呼吧\N{\fs }Let’s give it up for the grillmaster Rick!
    Rick Rick Rick\N{\fs }Rick! Rick! Rick!
    等等\N{\fs }Wait.
    不要啊\N{\fs }Noooooo!
    快看啊\N{\fs }Shoot. Now look.
    现在就像”Waldo在哪里”里面的一页\N{\fs }It’s like a “Where’s Waldo?” Page.
    {\fs \an }儿童游戏绘本 在人山人海中找到小男孩Waldo
    你能找到我吗\N{\fs }Can you find me?
    看这些奇奇怪的角色\N{\fs }Check out all these zany characters.
    不要走开 马上回来\N{\fs }We’ll be right back after these messages.
    把枪放下\N{\fs }I think you should put down the gun
    该去看医生了\N{\fs }and we should get you to a doctor.
    把外面那些防爆屏障卸了好不好啊\N{\fs }What do you say we take down these blast shields?
    我不会这样做的 瞌睡Gary\N{\fs }I can’t do that, sleepy Gary.
    大家听我说\N{\fs }All right, everybody listen to me.
    我不知道你们谁是真的\N{\fs }I don’t know if any of you guys are real,
    但这间屋子肯定有很多寄生虫\N{\fs }but this house has been infested with fake loved ones
    他们通过假的回忆来繁衍\N{\fs }that spread through fake memories,
    如果他们离开这里 我们的星球肯定会被毁掉\N{\fs }and our planet will be destroyed if they get out.
    但是 你也不得不承认\N{\fs }But, Rick, even you have to admit
    你有反应过度的倾向\N{\fs }you do tend to overreact to stuff.
    大家 赶紧啊\N{\fs }You guys, we got to hurry.
    我刚从沃尔玛回来\N{\fs }I just got back from Walmart.
    他们现在任天堂 DS系统只卖 块 美元啊\N{\fs }They’re selling Nintendo ds systems for $ . on sale,
    {\fs \an }Rick手上的包装盒正是塞尔达传说主题的限定版 DS XL
    你每买一部 就可以得到一张价值 美元的礼物卡\N{\fs }plus every time you buy one, you get a $ gift card.
    {\fs \an }Rick的配音演员Justin Roiland三次元也的确这么干了
    相当于税后总价就只有 美元了\N{\fs }Brings the total price down to $ after tax.
    听着 我们现在轻轻松松\N{\fs }Now, listen, we can flip those sons of bitches
    就可以把那些鬼玩意儿炒到 美元一件\N{\fs }for bucks a piece easy!
    都是限量版的塞尔达传说啊\N{\fs }They’re all limited-edition “Zelda” Ones.
    快点 快点 跟我来\N{\fs }Hurry! Hurry! Come with me!
    我们肯定能赚翻 还能一人留一部\N{\fs }We can be rich, and we also all get to keep one
    我们可以玩任天堂的游戏哎\N{\fs }and we can play Nintendo games!
    任天堂 免费送我吧\N{\fs }Nintendo, give me free stuff.
    好吧 我记得干过那事儿\N{\fs }Okay, yes, I definitely remember doing that,
    但是 我肯定不会那样干的\N{\fs }but also, I would never do that.
    Rick 别反应过度了\N{\fs }don’t overreact, Rick.
    - 瞌睡Gary 能说句话吗 - 当然\N{\fs }- Sleepy Gary, a word? - Sure, Jerry.
    Rick 冷静一点吧\N{\fs }Rick, keep a level head, okay?
    因为我要告诉你一个关于Frankenstein的秘密\N{\fs }’Cause I’ll tell you a secret about Frankenstein …
    其实他是 Frankenstein制造的怪物\N{\fs }He’s actually Frankenstein’s monster.
    {\fs \an }在玛丽居里的原著中弗兰肯斯坦是疯狂科学家的名字
    瞌睡Gary \N{\fs }Sleepy Gary,
    我脑子里想的全是和你在一起的回忆\N{\fs }m-my head is filled with memories of our friendship.
    我可以确定你就是Beth的老公\N{\fs }I’m convinced that you’re Beth’s husband
    我是你的朋友\N{\fs }and I’m your friend,
    但如果那些回忆不可信的话 那么\N{\fs }but if those memories can’t be trusted, then…
    Jerry 照直说吧\N{\fs }Jerry, just say it.
    瞌睡Gary 我们怎么知道我是真的呢\N{\fs }Sleepy Gary, how do we know I’m real?
    天啊 Jerry\N{\fs }Jesus, Jerry.
    你就是真的\N{\fs }No, you’re real.
    看着我\N{\fs }Hey, look at me.
    我不知道外面究竟怎么了\N{\fs }Now, I don’t know which way is up out there,
    但我了解我们自己 你就是真的\N{\fs }but I know us, and you’re real, Jerry.
    还记得我们的度假吗\N{\fs }Remember our vacation?
    他们正在海岸那边拍新的一部”星球大战”\N{\fs }They’re filming that new “Star wars” Movie down the coast.
    - 我们去看看吗 - 好啊\N{\fs }- Should we check it out? - Sure.
    何乐而不为呢\N{\fs }Why not?
    也许我们能见到楚巴卡噢\N{\fs }Maybe we’ll see Chewbacca.
    太好了\N{\fs }I’d like that.
    我们在干嘛\N{\fs }What are we doing?
    我才不管外面发生了什么\N{\fs }I don’t give a damn what else happens out there.
    我和你总会共渡难关的\N{\fs }You and I are going to survive this.
    好的\N{\fs }Okay.
    嘿 我们说好了\N{\fs }Hey, we agreed.
    在家里不能这样\N{\fs }Never in the house.
    Rick 手表还挺酷嘛\N{\fs }That’s a cool watch there, Rick.
    我能看一下吗\N{\fs }Can I check it out?
    别了\N{\fs }Uh, no thank…
    好吧\N{\fs }Okay.
    是想知道怎么卸下防爆屏障吗\N{\fs }Trying to figure out how to lower the blast shields, huh?
    大家不觉得可疑吗\N{\fs }Anybody here think it’s suspicious
    这里那么多人忍不住想离开这里\N{\fs }that a lot of people in here can’t wait to get out of here?
    你太偏执了 Rick 你从越南战争那时起就一直那么偏执\N{\fs }Ah, you’re paranoid, Rick. You’ve been paranoid since ‘nam.
    Frankenstein 等到这场战争\N{\fs }So, what are you gonna do when you rotate back
    打完之后 你想干嘛\N{\fs }to the world, Frankenstein?
    该死 我要打\N{\fs }ShI-I-I-I-t. I’mma bust a …
    寄生虫 快离开我的大脑 \N{\fs }No! Get out of my head, parasite!
    放下枪\N{\fs }No! Drop it.
    Frankenstein 把枪给我\N{\fs }Give me the gun, Frankenstein!
    给我\N{\fs }Give it back!
    耶\N{\fs }Yeah!
    Frankenstein\N{\fs }Frankenstein!
    这里有人是真的吗\N{\fs }Is anyone here even real?
    地球上只剩我是真的了吗\N{\fs }Am I the only real person on earth?!
    也许吧\N{\fs }Maybe.
    或者也许吧 只是也许吧 我们都是真的\N{\fs }Or maybe, just maybe, we’re all real.
    你们认识我的 我是反转长颈鹿啊\N{\fs }You know me. I’m Reverse Giraffe.
    我脖子和腿都很短\N{\fs }I have a short neck and legs.
    - 我和培根战士一起上的大学 - 嘿\N{\fs }- I went to college with Hamurai. - Hai!
    我在越南救了瓶子鬼的命\N{\fs }I saved ghost in a jar’s life in Vietnam.
    还有 Beth \N{\fs }And, Beth, how many times
    有多少次你伤心的时候 我都在你的身边啊\N{\fs }have I been a shoulder for you to cry on?
    太多太多次了\N{\fs }Too many.
    也许我们都是假的\N{\fs }Okay, so maybe we’re just all fake.
    不可能啊\N{\fs }That don’t make no sense!
    或者也许这里只有一个人在撒谎\N{\fs }Or maybe there’s only one deceiver here …
    那个人一直在告诉我们\N{\fs }the person that keeps telling us
    要想拯救世界\N{\fs }the path to salvation is being held prisoner
    大家就要变成互相猜疑的屋中囚徒\N{\fs }and mistrusting each other.
    嘿 别怪我啊\N{\fs }Hey, don’t blame me!
    我 分钟前就想射Summer一枪了\N{\fs }I tried to shoot Summer minutes ago!
    我知道我们都有对Rick愉快的回忆\N{\fs }I know we all have beloved memories of Rick,
    但我们应该相信\N{\fs }but are we really supposed to believe
    这位坐着飞车的疯子科学发明家\N{\fs }that a mad scientist inventor with a flying car
    消失了那么多年之后突然来到我们这儿吗\N{\fs }just showed up on our doorstep after being gone for years?
    对啊 他真的有很多\N{\fs }Yeah, you know, he does have
    奇怪的 一听就是瞎编的口头禅哎\N{\fs }a lot of really weird, made-up sounding catchphrases.
    Wubba lubba dub dub\N{\fs }Wubba lubba dub dub!
    Ricky ticky tavi, beyotch\N{\fs }Ricky ticky tavi, beyotch!
    新闻如如如如上\N{\fs }And that’s the wa-a-a-a-y the news goes.
    Jack 洗洗睡吧\N{\fs }Hit the sack, Jack.
    噢噢 空翻跳\N{\fs }Uh-oh! Somersault jump.
    禁止往沟里跳\N{\fs }No jumpin’ in the sewer.
    汉堡时间\N{\fs }Burger time!
    橡胶宝贝宝贝沙坑\N{\fs }Rubber baby baby bunkers!
    舔舔舔 老子的蛋\N{\fs }Lick, lick, lick my balls!
    哟\N{\fs }Yeah!
    经典台词\N{\fs }Say that all the time.
    口头禅全是瞎编的\N{\fs }That’s a fake-ass catchphrase right there.
    更别提他那无比含糊的来历\N{\fs }Yeah, don’t forget his incredibly vague back story.
    Beth 我可是你亲爹\N{\fs }Beth, I’m your father!
    是吗 爸爸 你确定吗\N{\fs }Oh, are you, dad? Are you?
    Rick 如果你想证明自己是真人\N{\fs }Rick, if you want to prove you’re real,
    就合群点 做我们所有人都想做的\N{\fs }just do what any of the rest of us would do and …
    把防爆屏障打开\N{\fs }and… and open the blast shields
    放我们出去\N{\fs }and let us the hell out of here!
    你倒是逼我呀 名若某老犹太喜剧作家\N{\fs }Why don’t you make me, implausibly naive pubescent boy
    的毛都没长齐的兔崽子\N{\fs }with an old Jewish comedy writer’s name?
    这太毒了\N{\fs }In your face!
    把枪给我\N{\fs }Give me the gun.
    我不想在铅笔君面前下手\N{\fs }I’m not doing this in front of Pencilvester.
    把他带到车库去\N{\fs }Bring him to the garage.
    狗娘养的寄生虫 给我听好了 \N{\fs }You listen to me, you son of a bitch parasite scum.
    配合从宽 抗拒从严\N{\fs }We could either do this the easy way or the hard way.
    想活命\N{\fs }You know, y-y-y… do you want to live?
    就把隔离门打开\N{\fs }Then open the blast shield doors.
    闭嘴 Morty 你这脑壳有屎又被洗脑的小子\N{\fs }Shut up, Morty, you brainwashed, little turd
    鉴于我也被洗了 甚至可能都不是真人的家伙\N{\fs }that might not even be real because I’m brainwashed, too.
    Rick 你以为我们心里好受吗\N{\fs }You know, Rick, this isn’t easy for us.
    我们的记忆中 你是个很好的朋友\N{\fs }You know, w-we all remember you as a friend.
    呵呵 是吗\N{\fs }Oh, oh, oh, really?
    我的记忆中 你是坨烦人的屎 Morty\N{\fs }Well, I remember you as a whiny, little piece of shit Morty!
    - 你确定 - 没错\N{\fs }- Oh… oh, yeah? - Yeah!
    你这小屁孩的记忆我有千千万\N{\fs }I’ve got about a thousand memories of your dumb, little ass
    其中愉悦的大概 次\N{\fs }and about six of them are pleasant.
    其他的我想起就反胃\N{\fs }The rest is annoying garbage.
    何不互相成全 赶快开枪\N{\fs }So why don’t you do us both a favor and pull the trigger?
    开枪啊 [哔]你老母的\N{\fs }Do it! Do it, mother[bleep]
    [哔]的开枪\N{\fs }Pull the [bleep] trigger!
    宝宝魔法师是个寄生虫\N{\fs }Baby wizard was a parasite?
    我老婆都是他介绍的\N{\fs }He set me up with my wife.
    搞什么\N{\fs }What the hell?
    我想通了 Rick\N{\fs }I figured it out, Rick!
    寄生虫只能伪造愉悦的记忆\N{\fs }The parasites can only create pleasant memories.
    我知道你是真的\N{\fs }I know you’re real
    因为有你在的痛苦记忆 我有超多\N{\fs }because I have a ton of bad memories with you!
    我们的记忆\N{\fs }These memories that we have
    值得被珍惜\N{\fs }These memories that we cherish
    多想回到我们的过去\N{\fs }I wish that we can go back to that time*
    我靠 Morty 你说得对\N{\fs }holy crap, Morty, you’re right.
    呃 你刚才吼我\N{\fs }Is… is… isn’t that what you were trying to make me
    不就是为了让我明白这点吗\N{\fs }understand by yelling at me?
    当然啦 废话\N{\fs }Well, yeah, duh-doy.
    反应真慢\N{\fs }T-took you long enough.
    开工啦 Morty\N{\fs }Now let’s go, Morty.
    一大堆的亲朋好友等着我们去杀呢\N{\fs }We got a lot of friends and family to exterminate.
    大家冷静 听我解释\N{\fs }Everybody remain calm! This is gonna take some explaining.
    对其只有美好记忆的家伙 杀无赦\N{\fs }We need to kill everyone that we can only remember fondly.
    谁有关于冰箱夫人的不好的回忆\N{\fs }Who’s got a bad memory about Mrs. Refrigerator?
    谁都有关于我不好的回忆啊\N{\fs }I-I-I-I… everyone has bad memories of me.
    记得那次吗\N{\fs }You remember that one time?
    我们尖叫个不停\N{\fs }Ooh, man, we couldn’t stop screaming.
    冰箱夫人 翻滚列车可不是什么痛苦经历\N{\fs }Uh, roller coasters aren’t bad, Mrs. Refrigerator.
    那叫刺激\N{\fs }They’re thrilling.
    而一直以来 你都是我的完美伙伴\N{\fs }And you’ve been a perfect companion to me my entire life.
    露馅了\N{\fs }The jig is up!
    让我出去\N{\fs }Get me out of here.
    让我出去\N{\fs }Get me out of here!
    都给我安分点 如果你不是寄生虫\N{\fs }Everybody back! If you’re not a parasite,
    就没什么好怕的 Summer呢\N{\fs }you have nothing to fear. So what about Summer?
    你跟我到底什么仇\N{\fs }Why am I always your go-to?
    - 再进我屋宰了你 - 我没有\N{\fs }- Never go in my room again. - I didn’t!
    她是真的\N{\fs }She’s real.
    我的婊姐姐\N{\fs }She’s my bitch of a sister.
    好枪\N{\fs }Nice.
    妈妈 你不是说送我去\N{\fs }Mom, are you driving me to …
    呃 当然 几点\N{\fs }hmm? Yeah, yeah, yes. What time?
    我的天 你喝醉了吗\N{\fs }Oh, my God. Are you drunk?
    你以为你是谁啊\N{\fs }What are you?
    - 我的人参导师吗 - 啥\N{\fs }- My wife coach? - Your what?
    - 我靠 - 噢 天哪\N{\fs }- Oh! God! Oh. - Oh, my gosh.
    - 妈妈 - 宝贝儿 你没事吧\N{\fs }- Oh! God! Mom! - Sweetheart, are you okay?
    - 今天要拍照啊 要肿了 - 我不是故意的 \N{\fs }- I’m gonna have a bruise! It’s picture day! - I didn’t mean to…
    别那么大反应 我帮你遮瑕\N{\fs }It’s not… don’t overreact. I can clean it up.
    我要警察叔叔送我\N{\fs }I want the police to take me!
    Morty 把枪给这位\N{\fs }Morty, give a gun to the lady
    自己过早怀上我\N{\fs }that got pregnant with me too early
    然后再也没真正迈过去的女士\N{\fs }and constantly makes it our problem.
    谢谢 宝贝\N{\fs }Thank you, sweetie.
    - Beth Beth 别 - 我就知道没这么好的事\N{\fs }- Beth, Beth, please! - I thought it was too good to be true
    怎么可能刚好你的肾脏和我的匹配\N{\fs }that we’d have compatible kidneys.
    算我求你\N{\fs }Come on, man.
    难道我们之间连 一时的沉默\N{\fs }Haven’t we ever had an uncomfortable silence
    或是 驾车旅游有人放屁的尴尬都没有吗\N{\fs }or an awkward fart on a road trip?
    拜托了 铅笔君 给我一个理由\N{\fs }Come on, Pencilvester. Give me anything.
    Rick 我是铅笔君\N{\fs }Rick, I’m Pencilvester.
    听听这个名字 你怎么下得了手\N{\fs }Listen to that name. You can’t kill me.
    你说得对\N{\fs }You’re right.
    你来下手\N{\fs }Kill Pencilvester.
    Summer 我一直爱着你\N{\fs }Summer, I’ve always loved you!
    没错\N{\fs }Yep.
    - 我的天 - 我以为你去演唱会了\N{\fs }- Oh, my God! - I-I-I thought you went to a concert!
    我们忘了拿票 为什么要在厨房里\N{\fs }We forgot the tickets! Why in the kitchen?!
    我在哪儿都撸 别羞我\N{\fs }I do it everywhere! Stop shaming me!
    受害者是我好吗\N{\fs }You’re not the victim here!
    去死 我刚才意淫的是你朋友Grace\N{\fs }I hate you, and I was thinking about your friend Grace!
    Rick老爷\N{\fs }Ah. Master Rick.
    还记得吗 你没有想要射死我的那次\N{\fs }Remember when you weren’t going to shoot me?
    我干了管家 哈哈\N{\fs }I guess I did the Butler! Ha ha!
    有人懂了吗\N{\fs }Does… d-does that scan?
    我懂你\N{\fs }Oh, I-I get it.
    你在恶搞<管家干的>\N{\fs }It’s a play on
    多谢咯 罐子鬼\N{\fs }Thanks, ghost in a jar.
    你总是很擅长点破鲜为人知的梗\N{\fs }You always were good at pointing out potentially obscure comedy.
    你得保护我 瞌睡Gary\N{\fs }You got to hide me, sleepy Gary.
    别怕 我有主意\N{\fs }don’t worry. I have a plan.
    只要上了我的船 船上有\N{\fs }If we can get to my boat, there’s a …
    不 不\N{\fs }No. No!
    送我去见Gary吧 我要和他在一起\N{\fs }Just send me to Gary. I want to be with Gary.
    妈呀\N{\fs }Oh, God.
    搞什么\N{\fs }Whoa. What the hell?
    小心那个流浪汉\N{\fs }Look out for that homeless guy!
    把门打开 快打开\N{\fs }Open the door! Open the door! Open the door!
    没时间了 快跑\N{\fs }There isn’t time! Just run!
    出来帮我\N{\fs }Get out here and help me!
    都说最好别作死 跑就是了\N{\fs }They say you shouldn’t do that! Just run!
    呕 抱歉咯 Jerry 你是真的\N{\fs }Ugh. Sorry, Jerry. You’re real.
    我是个寄生虫\N{\fs }I’m a parasite!
    说得没错 但至少你真的存在\N{\fs }Yeah, but you’re real.
    别 我需要时间去忘记瞌睡Gary\N{\fs }Uh, uh, I need time to forget about sleepy Gary.
    我也是\N{\fs }Me, too.
    从现在开始 大家要注意\N{\fs }From now on, let’s all be careful
    每次从太空回来都记得洗手\N{\fs }to wash our hands when we get back from outer space.
    每个人都要注意\N{\fs }That goes for everyone.
    这太郁闷了\N{\fs }This is depressing.
    屋里的好人都被我们杀光了\N{\fs }We killed every good person in the house.
    剩下的就是我们 好一家子\N{\fs }We’re what’s left? What a family.
    至少我们是真货 Jerry\N{\fs }At least we’re real, Jerry.
    真货 Ricky ticky tavi\N{\fs }We’re real. Ricky ticky tavi!
    点赞\N{\fs }Ooh, whee! Amen to that.
    便便裤我饿啦\N{\fs }Now, this little poopypants is hungry.
    把猪排递给我好吗\N{\fs }Will somebody pass me a pork chop?
    有什么不对吗 Beth\N{\fs }I-Is… is something wrong, Beth?
    奇怪 但我\N{\fs }Wait, but I …
    - Beth 为什么 - 请派救护车\N{\fs }- oh, Beth! Why?! - I need an ambulance!
    发生了枪击 我妻子枪击了\N{\fs }There’s been a shooting. My wife shot…
    我妻子枪击了我们多年的家族友人\N{\fs }Uh, my… my wife shot a long-time family friend.
    我的天怎么办快来帮忙 便便洞先生\N{\fs }Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God, Mr. Poopybutthole.
    - 我以为他 - 呼吸\N{\fs }- I-I thought… - keep breathing!
    - 救命 我怎么了 - 看着我\N{\fs }- Oh, God. What’s happening? - Look at me!
    看着我 别 不要睡\N{\fs }Look at me! Don’t… don’t fall asleep!
    流血而亡就是这样的吗\N{\fs }Is… is this what bleeding to death is?
    我就是这么死的吗\N{\fs }Oh, whee. Is this how I die?
    我的天啊\N{\fs }Oh, geez! Oh, my God!
    你为什么要这么对我 Beth\N{\fs }Why would you do this? Beth.
    不该这么痛啊\N{\fs }It’s not supposed to hurt.
    我以为\N{\fs }I-I thought…
    他好像气色好了很多\N{\fs }Oh, he… he’s looking a lot better.
    听着 Beth 别自责了\N{\fs }Listen, Beth, don’t torture yourself.
    这种事我也干过\N{\fs }I made a similar mistake years ago,
    不过是行星级的\N{\fs }but, you know, on a planetary scale.
    他还在生我的气吗\N{\fs }Is, um, is he mad at me?
    他没打算起诉\N{\fs }He’s not pressing charges.
    这算是”你枪击了我”情况下的\N{\fs }I mean, that’s got to be the “You shot me” Equivalent
    不生你气了吧\N{\fs }of not being mad.
    我们可以看望他吗\N{\fs }Can he have visitors?
    他想一个人待着\N{\fs }He’d like to be alone.
    他让我转告\N{\fs }He told me to tell you he’s sorry
    你对他没有不好的记忆 对此他很抱歉\N{\fs }you didn’t have bad memories of him?
    如果你真的爱他 你该走了\N{\fs }If you love him, you should leave.
    新闻如如如上\N{\fs }And that’s the wa-a-a-a-y the news goes.