Jerry Jerry 快起来 -[ Gasps] -Jerry! Jerry, come on!
    我们得走了 你快跟我走 Jerry We got to go! You got to come with me, Jerry!
    - Rick - 非常重要 Jerry -Rick? -IVs important, Jerry.
    你肩负着整个星系的命运 [Burps] The fate of the galaxy rests on your shoulders.
    快走 穿上裤子 Let’s go. Put some pants on.
    算 算了 也没时间穿裤子了 Jerry N-Never mind, there’s no time for pants, Jerry.
    路上我再给你做一条吧 Ill make you a pair of pants on the way.
    这是Rick和Jerry的冒险 IVs a Rick and Jerry adventure!
    . 这是Rick和Jerry的一集 Rick and Jerry episode!
    然后我就想 “嘿 Jerry怎么样 Then I thought, “Hey, what about Jerry?
    他 他很接地气“ He’s — He’s good with regular folk.”
    在这种情况下他 他 This is a real situation where — where —
    他肯定很吃得开 where Jerry could really shine.
    他特会说服人 He’s a master convincer.”
    Rick 我不是白痴 我知道你要干嘛 Rick, I’m not an idiot. I know what this is.
    哦 好吧 我告诉Morty了 Oh. Okay, well, I told Morty,
    “爸妈离婚了 他们很伤心 但他会没事的” “Look, parents get divorced. They get sad. He’ll be fine,”
    但是我怕他担心你会 嘣 but I think he’s worried you’re gonna, you know…Pbht!
    你也知道Morty有情绪的时候会怎么样 And you know how Morty gets when he gets emotional.
    会妨碍我工作 It impedes my work.
    所以我和他说我会带你出来 让你做一回人生赢家 So, I told him I’d take you out and give you a win.
    等一下 我儿子让你带我去 Wait. My son asked you to take me
    这种施舍同情的冒险 on some kind of pity adventure
    是为了防止我自杀 to keep me from killing myself?
    等等 你以为这是要干嘛 Wait, w-what did you think it was?
    我以为你要处决我 An execution.
    天哪 你真得做一回赢家了 Geez! You really do need a win.
    不 我不知道 No! I-I don’t know.
    我是说 你也没给我做裤子 所以 I mean, you never made me the pants, so —
    所以 你以为我会载着你 So, you thought I was gonna drive you
    去星系中心 into the middle of the galaxy and shove you
    把你扔到真空的太空里 任你下体外露吗 into the vacuum of space with your dick hanging out?
    而且如果这种事真的要发生了 And we’re seeing how you’d act
    我们看到你的反应就是这样的 if that were about to happen?
    妈呀 我这就给你做条裤子 I mean, shit, I’ll make you the pants right now.
    给我两秒钟的时间 Take me two seconds to make you pants.
    - 我家里有裤子 - Jerry 我做的裤子 -I have pants at home! -Jerry, if I make pants,
    比你家里的裤子强多了 they’ll be better than your pants at home.
    而且 如果我想杀你 Also, if I wanted to kill you —
    啊 我知道 那肯定特别精彩 Yeah, I get it. It’d be amazing.
    拜托 快载我回家吧 Please, take me home.
    我会告诉我儿子咱们经历了一个超棒的冒险 I’ll tell my son we had an amazing adventure.
    你要是觉得没差 Well, if it’s all the same,
    那我们也得找个地方先把故事编好 could we go get our story straight?
    因为你不会撒谎 Because you’re a terrible liar.
    你刚才还说我特能说服人呢 You called me a master convincer!
    你还真信了 You believed me?
    哈 好像 挺高级啊 Huh. This seems…kind of fancy.
    Jerry 告诉你吧 这相当于是 Jerry, for all you know, this is the equivalent
    外星人的公路餐馆 of an alien truck sTop.
    你没得参照 You have no frame of reference.
    你在一个远超你想象的宇宙里 You’re in a universe beyond your imagining.
    但是 没错 确实非常高级 But, yes, it is super fancy.
    我来这儿就是为了让Morty开心 I mean, my job here is to make Morty happy.
    我不会带你去危险的地方 I’m not gonna take you somewhere dangerous.
    Rick Sanchez -[ Grunts] -Rick Sanchez.
    我告诉过你 如果再让我看到你出现在这 I told you if I ever saw your face in here again,
    我就刺死你这猪猡 I would stick you like the pig you are.
    Shnoop Bloopers 我也告诉过你 如果你真敢 [Coughs] Shnoopy Bloopers, I told you if you tried…
    死的绝不会只有我一个 there’d be two funerals.
    啊 Aaah!
    有人吗 Someone?
    啊 有人吗 来人啊 Uh, someone? Someone!
    老朋友 好久不见啊 My friend! It has been too long.
    真高兴又见到你 兄弟 RICK: Oh, it’s great to see you again, buddy!
    没错 就是这样 -[ Both laughing ] -Yeah, you’re doing it.
    Sanchez先生要什么我都请了 Mr. Sanchez gets anything he wants!
    这个度假村笼罩在永生力场里 The resort’s covered in an immortality field.
    你不会死在这的 这儿的特色 You can’t die here. That’s the gimmick.
    好吧 但是 这样教育小孩子不好吧 Okay, but still — bad parenting.
    有钱的傻逼不就这样吗 Hey, rich a-holes are rich a-holes.
    他们花大价钱来这 They all pay Top dollar to come here
    享受着不用承担后果的假期 and enjoy a consequence-free vacation.
    没有死亡 没有疾病 不会缺胳膊少腿儿 No death, no disease, no dismemberment.
    连心脏病都不会有 -[ Grunting ] -Can’t even have a heart attack.
    我懂你意思 Got it. The perfect place
    适合把全宇宙最脆弱生物带去的完美之地 to take the most fragile being in the universe.
    我看得出来你在期待我的反驳 I can tell you expect me to refute that,
    但你说的确实是真的 but it’s right on the money.
    如果我没把你平安带回家 If I come home without you,
    Morty不会善罢甘休 I doubt Morty’s gonna let me off the hook.
    是啊 但如果你把杰夫高布伦带回家 Yeah, but what if you came home with Jeff Goldblum?
    杰夫高布伦 Jeff Goldblum?
    你他妈在说什么 Jerry What the fuck are you talking about, Jerry?
    天啊 [Spits] Jesus!
    我操你妈 Holy fucking shit!
    老兄 最近在干嘛 真是”山水又相逢”啊 Yo, what’s up, “Big Chill”?!
    别进电子传送舱啊(<变蝇人>) Don’t go into that telepod!
    也许我们还真能在这次假冒险里找到乐子 Hey, maybe we would have fun on a fake adventure.
    假冒险 On a fake adventure.
    说起这个 我们该怎么跟Morty讲 Speaking of, what are we gonna tell Morty?
    我不知道 但不管讲啥 I don’t know. But whatever it is,
    这宝贝儿我们都还得再来几杯 we’re gonna need a couple more of these babies!
    怎么了 -[ Sobbing] -What’s wrong?
    妈 你觉得我性感吗 [Crying] Mom, do you think I’m hot?
    呃 我并不觉得这有什么重要的 I…don’t think that’s something that matters.
    所以 我不性感吗 So, I’m not hot?!
    我是说 你不该把精力花在 I’m saying the part of you that cares about that
    介意这种事情上面 is a part you shouldn’t give any energy to.
    你没有正面回答我 That’s not an answer!
    我又不是时尚杂志好吗 Because I’m not an issue of Cosmo, okay?
    我是你妈 我还是个医生 而且 I’m your mother and a doctor, and —
    我好丑啊 I’m hideous!
    天啊 她是怎么了 Geez. What’s with her?
    青春期少女那一套吧 Teenage-girl stuff.
    这个是 马蹄拼的吗 Is that a.. .hoof collage?
    这是完全合法的 如果你想问这个的话 It’s perfectly legal, if that’s what you’re wondering.
    酷呃 Cool.. .zies.
    “我们只是再也没什么共同语言了 Summer” “We just don’t have anything in common anymore, Summer.”
    哦 是吗 Ethan Oh, yeah, Ethan?
    那你和Tricia Lange又有什么共同语言啊 What do you have in common with Tricia Lange?
    都喜欢法国电影吗 A mutual love of French cinema?
    都认为碳排放税 The belief that a carbon tax
    是解决气候变暖的唯一可行方案吗 is the only viable solution to climate change?
    或者只是因为她有脱衣舞女一样的大咪咪吧 Or could it be her massive stripper titties?!
    在这儿 [Gasps] There it is.
    大咪咪来啦 Boob-ya!
    就在这时 鱿鱼马拉凯来了 And that’s when Malakai the Squid King
    撕下了他的脸 然后我的脸就露出来了 rips off his face, and beneath it is my face.
    - 我喜欢这个故事 - 谢谢 先生 -l liked it. -Thank you, sir.
    是哦 他当然喜欢了 看看他 Yeah, of course he likes it. Look at him.
    这傻逼有两个头和三个象鼻子 Motherfucker got two heads and three trunks.
    好吧一会儿再说 All right, we’ll put a pin in it.
    我得先去尿个尿 I’m gonna go take a leak.
    这什么 What the…
    我的手吹干了 我的手吹干了 Ah! My hands are dry! My hands are dry!
    我叫Risotto Groupon My name is Risotto Groupon.
    我是这家餐厅的总经理助理 I am the assistant general manager of the restaurant.
    你有食客意见卡吗 Do you have any comment cards?
    我可能有些建议想提 Because I might have some thoughts.
    我的王国被别的势力所霸占了 My kingdom was usurped
    使用的武器和科技 by force with weapons and technology
    就是你岳父提供的 supplied by your father-in-law!
    喂 他也霸占了我的王国啊 Hey, he usurped my kingdom, too, man.
    他基本上害得我被赶出了自己家 他偷走了我的家人 He basically got me kicked out of my home, stole my family.
    那么我们就是同一阵营的 你就没想过 Then we are brothers, and you have wondered
    没有Rick 你的生活会是怎样的吗 what your life could have been without Rick.
    想过 当然想过 Wondered? Sure.
    我还想过着个阴道会是怎样的呢 I mean, I’ve wondered about having a vagina.
    你会帮我杀了他吗 Would you help me kill him?
    什么 不 What? No!
    他是我老婆的爸爸 别想了 He’s my wife’s father. Move on.
    你喜欢主题公园游吗 Do you.. .Iike theme-park rides?
    你还真没想了啊 Oh, you really moved on.
    那儿有个热门项目叫旋风狂翻 There is a popular attraction here called the Whirly Dirly.
    在第一个旋儿和第三个翻儿之间 Between the first whiny and the third dirly,
    乘坐的位置刚好会降到永生力场之外 the ride dips just outside the immortality field.
    你是要我把Rick引向死亡吗 You’re asking me to lure Rick to his death?
    我只是要你和Rick去玩一下而已 I’m only asking you to go on a ride with Rick,
    一个人下来 没有Rick 然后回家 get off the ride without Rick, and go home to your family,
    继续猜想如果有个阴道 生活会怎样 where you can… wonder about having a vagina.
    好了好了 这个过于具体的例子 Okay, okay, that was a very specific example
    我就是凭空瞎举的 pulled from thin air.
    我可不想被称作是阴道男 I don’t want to be known as the vagina guy.
    Risotto 我们需要你 有人点了 Risotto, you’re needed. Someone ordered
    新鲜疯儿傻傻和毛毛骚套餐 the Nuzzy Guzzy Fresh and Fluzzy Special.
    我不是Rick [Sighs dejectedly] Look, I’m not like Rick,
    你可以自己选择要做什么 so you’re free to do as you please.
    但是每一个人在生命中都要作出决定 But there comes a time in every man’s life
    他贡献给世界的价值 when he must choose the foundation
    到底是建立在 on which his legacy will be built —
    是妥协之上 还是真刀真枪 one of compromise or one of blood.
    真棒 Oh, yeah.
    这就对了 That’s what I’m talking about.
    啊呀 那另一边也多来点儿 Oops! Okay, a little more on the other side, then.
    噢 别这样 Oh, come on!
    天啦 [Gasps] Oh, geez!
    啊快停下 Aah! STop!
    那医院就让你带着一包马身上的部件 So, the hospital just let you walk right out of there
    大摇大摆走出去了吗 with horse parts in a bag?
    真是够了 Morty For Christ’s sakes, Morty,
    经历离婚的女人需要 women going through a divorce
    通过创作发泄 need a creative outlet.
    什么动静 -[ Crash ] -What was that?
    Summer Summer!
    我来了 Summer I’m coming, Summer!
    这他妈是怎么了 What the hell happened?!
    我们怎么把她变正常 How do we get her back to normal?!
    我不知道 这东西很复杂 I don’t know, man! This thing is pretty complicated.
    我 我来打给Rick I-I’m gonna call Rick.
    等一下 我们不能碰到一点问题 Well, hold on. We can’t just call your grandpa
    就打电话给外公 whenever there’s a problem.
    我们可以自己处理 We can handle this ourselves.
    我不懂我们为啥要尝试自己处理 I mean, I don’t see the point in trying to.
    这显然是Rick级别的烂摊子 This is obviously Rick-level shit.
    我有医学学位 I have a medical degree.
    所以这是你的目的吗 Is that what this is about?
    你想证明自己 [-Like, you want to prove yourself?
    没什么别的目的 Morty 怎么说话的 Oh, it’s not about anything, Morty. How dare you?
    那就好 那我就打给…嗷 Okay, good. Then I’ll just call — Ow!
    Morty 我需要这个机会 Morty, I need this.
    嘿Jerry 三象鼻说他知道一个地方 Hey, Jerry, triple trunks here says he knows a place
    姑娘们都上赶着睡两脚兽 where the ladies drop panties for anyone bi-pedal.
    我没什么兴趣 Yeah, I’m not really interested.
    我的心依然属于Beth My heart still belongs to Beth.
    哦 好吧 Oh. Huh. Okay.
    怎么 你觉得我没有机会 What, you don’t think I have a shot?
    我可没说 I didn’t say that.
    劳驾 我可以再来一杯这个吗 Excuse me. May I have another one of these?
    马上就来 Coming right up.
    Beth和我也不是一直都合不来 Hmm, things weren’t always so bad between Beth and me.
    我们年轻的时候特别开心 We had some good times when we were younger.
    可不嘛 Oh, yeah, I bet.
    少女妈妈就是那时候诞生的 That’s how teenage pregnancy happens, my friend.
    不全是 Yeah, no. [Chuckles]
    直到几年前我们都挺好的 Things were pretty great, even until a couple of years ago.
    Jerry 我听懂了 Jerry, I get it.
    直到我搬进你们家之前都挺好的 That’s around the time I moved in with you guys.
    哦 你说的没错 Oh, I guess you’re right.
    Jerry 我希望你不是在说 Jerry, you know, I hope you’re not suggesting
    我造成了你们婚姻的失败 that I had anything to do with your marriage breaking up,
    你和Beth的关系从你们相遇开始 because there are some major issues between you and Beth
    就一直有很严重的问题 that have been there since you guys met.
    敬你一杯 为了新的开始 Hey, to new beginnings.
    为了旋风狂翻 To the Whiny Dirly.
    旋风狂翻 The Whiny Dirly?
    等等 发生了什么 All right, what’s going on here?
    你什么时候变这么酷了 When did you get cool?!
    你偷了我老婆之后 When you stole my wife!
    那我很久以前就该这么做 I should have done that a long time ago!
    我们要去旋风狂翻咯 We’re going on the Whirly Dirly!
    旋风狂翻吧宝贝 Whiny Dirly, baby.
    找到了 看这里 -[ Rumbling] -Aha, look at this.
    写着”正常化” It says “normalize.”
    我敢说只要按这个的话 I bet if we just press that —
    但是 要是这机器是蜘蛛人造的 But…if the machine was made by spider people,
    正常就意味着有八条腿 normal would mean eight legs.
    天呐 难道你又要来高谈阔论一番么 Oh, God! are you gonna go on another spiel
    就像上次你对肉色蜡笔说的那段那样 like you did with the flesh-colored crayon?
    我还是比较肯定这个”正常化”按键能让她复原的 I’m pretty sure “normalize” will make her normal.
    我觉得这算是进步了 I’d call that progress.
    - 她都成巨人了 - 但比例正常啊 -She’s huge! -And normal!
    我不正常 I’m not normal!
    好吧 这上写着”逆转” 准能搞定 Okay, this says “reverse.” Done and done.
    我觉得这不是个好主意 I don’t think that’s a good idea.
    别闹了 “逆转”还能有什么意思(里外翻转) Oh, come on! What else could “reverse” possibly mean?
    妈 快给Rick打电话 Mom, call Rick!
    多谢 Thank you.
    这还有个客服电话呢 There’s a customer-service number on here.
    妈 -Mom! -[ Dialing I
    老兄 这趟估计得爽翻了 Oh, man. This is gonna be awesome!
    真得给你个赞 这主意太棒了 I got to hand it to you, Jerry. This was a solid idea.
    呃 是 嗯嗯 Uh, yeah. U h-huh.
    你知道吗 我得跟你坦白 And you know what? I’ll cop to it.
    我让你的婚姻承受了太多的压力 I put a lot of strain on your marriage.
    这对你是不公平的对不起 It wasn’t fair. I’m sorry.
    - 啥 - 我没有尊重你的婚姻 -What?! -I didn’t respect your marriage.
    我也没让它变得更和睦 I certainly didn’t do it any favors.
    不管怎样 And for what it’s worth,
    回家之后我也会跟Beth道歉的 I’ll apologize to Beth for it when we get home.
    呜 旋风狂翻 耶 Whoo! Whirly Dirly! Yeah!
    快把这车停下 我们得下去 STop the ride! We got to get off.
    你在说什么呢 哥们 What are you talking about, buddy?
    我们得从这玩意上下来 我们得下车 We got to get out of this thing. We got to get out!
    Jerry 干嘛啊 老兄 -[ Grunts] -Jerry, come on, man!
    我们连第一个旋儿都没到呢 We haven’t even gotten to the first whiny.
    不啦 这项目太烂了 特别无聊 No, no, this sucks. It’s so boring.
    我觉得 我都快睡着了 I mean, I’m falling asleep here.
    咱们还是下车然后顺着边上爬回去吧 Let’s just get out and crawl down the sides.
    呃 快趴下趴下 Ah, get down! Duck down!
    趴下来更好玩 It’s more fun when you scrunch down.
    Jerry 你在搞什么 Jerry, what the —
    我日 Oh, shit.
    Rick 看这 在那边有一个地方你可以杀了他 Rick, up here! There’s a spot where you can kill him!
    好样的 Jerry Good call, Jerry!
    嘿 你是怎么知道那个地方的 -Hey, how’d you know about that? -Uh…
    Lisa Lisa?
    所以说 Jerry 你是旋风狂翻的头号粉丝是吧 So, uh, Jerry, big fan of the Whiny Dinly, are you?
    明显 不再是了 Not anymore. [Chuckles] Obviously.
    但当你还是的时候 你是怎么知道那个地方的 But when you were, how did you know about it?
    咱们说好的 Jerry Smith We had a deal, Jerry Smith.
    这名字其实特别的大众 It’s a really common name.
    放松点 Rick Now, take it easy, Rick.
    你刚刚经历了一场严重的过山车事故 You’ve been in a serious roller-coaster crash.
    现在还不是去思考 It’s — It’s no time to be thinking about
    在你这次谋杀未遂事件中到底谁扮演了什么角色的时候 who did or didn’t play a role in your attempted murder.
    快把它弄走 [Screams] Get it off me!
    它在吃我 It’s eating me!
    好吧 我坦白 可以吗 Look, I confess, okay?
    他们跟我说了你在这个星球上所做的坏事 They told me about all the bad stuff you did to this planet
    也让我想起了你对我做的所有不好的事 and reminded me of all the bad stuff you did to me.
    但后来你说很抱歉 But then you said you were sorry, and I realized
    我就意识到你并不是个怪物 不像这个东西一样 you’re not a monster — not like this thing.
    妈啊 它可是把我抓牢了 Fuck! It’s got me good.
    你是在唬我是吧 This is a mislead, right?
    其实你正在发明一个东西来救我是不是 You’re inventing a thing to save me.
    那个东西叫刀 Jerry That would be called a knife, Jerry.
    早就被人发明了 It’s been invented.
    我在想办法离开这呢 一个座位就够了 I’m making a way out of here. One seat ought to do it.
    对不起 我犯了一个错误 I’m sorry. I-I made a mistake.
    - 我不会再犯了 - 没人有机会再犯 -I won’t do it again! -Nobody ever does.
    你个自以为是的傻逼 You self-righteous piece of shit!
    你抢走了我的家庭 You took my family!
    我抢了你的家庭 I took your family?
    你觉得咱俩到底是谁被抢走得更多 Who do you think had more taken from them
    特别是你把你那 毫升液态 when you shot cc of liquid
    梦想毁灭剂射进我女儿身体里的时候 dream-killer into my daughter?
    她是Rick的女儿 Jerry 她本来还有那么多人生选择 She was Rick’s daughter, Jerry. She had options!
    哎哟 Oof.
    那些选择都消失了 因为她为你感到难过 That all ended because she felt sorry for you.
    你表现得像个受害者 但你其实是一个迫害者 You act like prey, but you’re a predator!
    你利用同情来诱骗你的受害者 You use pity to lure in your victims!
    那就是你活下去的方式 That’s how you survive!
    我活着是因为我无所不知 I survive because I know everything.
    这个蛇活着是因为孩子们会到处乱跑 That snakes survives because children wander off,
    而你活着就是因为人们会认为 and you survive because people think,
    “哦 这个可怜的蠢货 他从来都交不到好运 “Oh, this poor piece of shit. He never gets a break.
    我受不了那震耳欲聋的无言哀嚎 I can’t stand the deafening silent wails
    来自他那颓丧的灵魂 of his wilting soul.
    我想我只能雇佣他或者和他结婚” I guess I’ll hire him or marry him.”
    Rick Rick Rick! [ Muffled ] Rick!
    我就知道你不会让我死 I knew you wouldn’t let me die.
    我从来没这么想过 That was never an option.
    因为你没有儿子 Because you never had a son.
    不 因为我需要一个活的有机体 No, because I need a living organism
    用你身上沾着的吉布蛇胆汁来吸引一个斯莫格莱狂奔兽 coated in gibble snake bile to attract a shmooglite runner.
    - 等等 发生了什么 - 好好利用自己的迷惑 Jerry -Wait, what’s happening? -Use that confusion, Jerry.
    它会让你扭动得更像一个被丢弃的新生儿 Itil make you wriggle more like an abandoned newborn.
    我的天啊 -[ Low growling] -Jesus Christ!
    搞什么 Rick What the fuck, Rick?!
    救命 救我 Help! Help me!
    啊 Aaah!
    往南 英里有一个太空港 There’s a space port miles south.
    我们就能登上一艘银河级游轮 We’ll be able to board a galaxy class cruise ship
    然后跳进一个虫洞 and jump through a wormhole that will put us
    那会将我们送到银河系的范围内 within spitting distance of the Milky Way.
    但是 嘿 重要的是过程 But, hey, it’s about the journey,
    而不是终点 对吗 Jerry not the destination, right, Jerry?
    呆着别动 宝贝 妈妈还在连线 Just stay put, sweetie! Mom’s still on hold.
    变形仪客户服务 我有什么能帮您的 Morphizer customer service. How may I help you?
    是这样 我在用你们的一台机器时出了点小问题 Yes, I’m having a little trouble with one of your machines.
    哦 我很抱歉 夫人 Oh, I’m sorry to hear that, ma’am.
    你在机器侧面能看到一个小隔层吗 Do you see a little compartment on the side of the machine?
    让我看一下 是的 看到了 Let me check. Yes, got it.
    妈妈 Mom?
    太好了 现在 你能看到那旁边有一个小按钮吗 Great! Now, do you see the little button next to it?
    - 能 - 按下那个按钮 -l do. -Give that button a push.
    - 好的 - 妈妈 听我说 -Okay. -Mom, listen to me!
    我们自由啦 We’re free!!
    好了 所以我按了那个按钮 然后三个小人跑出来了 Okay, so I pushed the button, and three little men ran out.
    接下来我要做什么 What do I do next?
    喂 Hello?
    我想我们断线了 I think we got disconnected.
    Morty Morty!
    不要喊我Morty Don’t “Morty” me!
    我骗了Rick带爸爸去冒险 I tricked Rick into taking Dad on an adventure
    因为我以为我能躲开这些破事放松一下 because I thought I could get a break
    但是并没有 from this kind of shit, but no!
    有其父必有其女 Like father, like goddamn daughter!
    你想像Rick—样 祝贺你 You want to be like Rick, congratulations!
    你就是一样的自大一样的不负责任 You’re just as arrogant and just as irresponsible!
    这里一切都好吗 Everything okay here?
    管好你自己的事 Gene Mind your own goddamn business, Gene!
    我和我妈妈在这谈话呢 I’m having a conversation with my mother here!
    迎合Rick对把他留在身边没有帮助 Kissing Rick’s ass isn’t gonna help him keep him around,
    妈妈 那反而会使你失去其他人 Mom,but it will help you lose everyone else.
    就像我失去了Summer Like I lost Summer.
    嘿 你还没失去她呢 Hey, you haven’t lost her yet.
    不 的确是这样 她走了 No, I definitely did. She’s gone.
    该死的 God damn it!
    向前走 Go ahead.
    - 得了吧 - 怎么了 -Oh, come on. -What’s happening?
    你的朋友是C类或者携带过量神经机械学的增加物 Your friend has class C or above cybernetic augmentations.
    过的量有点多啊 Emphasis on the above.
    无论如何 他需要被抑制 In any case, he needs to be neutralized.
    什么 等等 -What?! Wait!
    呃 Ugh!
    脑袋痛痛 [Groans] Brain hurty.
    你做了什么 What did you do?
    神经突触阻尼剂 用来阻止暴力倾向的 It’s a synaptic dampener that blocks violent tendencies
    以及争议性的想法 and controversial thought.
    他现在是个理想的乘客了 He will now be an ideal passenger.
    我想要曲奇还有 分钟剪辑版的<阿凡达＞ I want cookies and a -minute cut of “Avatar.”
    真的假的 Seriously? [Snapping]
    - 别这样 - 六小时后药效就会退去 -Quit it. -Itil wear off in six hours.
    这比禁止危险人员乘机的成本低 It’s cheaper than banning dangerous people from flights.
    让人人都能买到机票 是吧 I mean, let everybody buy a ticket, right?
    不然就是向恐怖分子低头了 Otherwise, the terrorists win.
    很抱歉我不是个标准的母亲角色 I’m sorry I’m not a classic maternal archetype.
    好吧 我承认当你们跑来问我时我不知该怎么做 Okay, I don’t know what to do when you people come to me
    来解决你们的青春期问题 with your weird puberty issues.
    你又会怎么做呢 What are you gonna do when your daughter asks you
    如果你女儿问你她有没有吸引力的话 if she’s attractive?
    - 我就说”有啊” - Morty 多恶心啊 -I’ll say, “Yes”! -Morty, gross!
    我女儿以后肯定很辣啊 Well, she’s gonna be super hot.
    反正她妈妈会是Jessica Her mother’s gonna be Jessica.
    等等 Summer啥时候问的你 Wait, when did Summer ask you that?!
    就在她把自己搞的像克莱夫巴克电影里的怪物之前 怎么了 Right before she Olive Barkered herself. Why?
    停一下 我知道她在哪儿了 Wait, I know where she is!
    Ethan和Summer本来要去野营的 Ethan and Summer were supposed to go camping,
    后来他抛弃了Summer选择了Tricia Lange这个 and then he dumped Summer for this girl Tricia Lange,
    有对大胸的女孩 带她去了 who’s got huge boobies, and took her.
    野营地吗 就那个名字听着像是 Campsite — The one with the name that sounds like somebody
    起了一半不想起了的那个 gave up halfway through naming it.
    呃 弗拉巴拉巴营地 Uh. . .Camp Flabanabba!
    妈妈来了 宝贝 Mama’s coming, baby.
    妈妈来了 她是在乎你的咪咪的 Mama’s coming, and she cares about your titties!
    他们这儿有甜甜微笑蜂蜜曲奇 They have sweet smiggle honey cookies.
    嗯 还有低卡路里的石油片哦 Mmm! And low-calorie petroleum flakes.
    当然选曲奇 Obviously cookies.
    那我们给标点个石油片吧 Let’s get you the flakes, then.
    好吧 但我不想要那个的 Okay, but it’s not what I wanted.
    那 或许等下次你 Well, maybe next time, you won’t be
    不再是这么个蠢逼的时候 你就能自己选了 such a dumb piece of shit and you can pick for yourself.
    - 这样不好 - 你说啥 -That’s not nice. -What’s that?
    你刚刚有争议性的想法了吗 Did you just have a controversial thought?
    - 没 - 我也是这么想的 婊子 -No. -That’s what I thought, bitch.
    你个小弱逼 You little punk-ass.
    真是棒极了 [Chuckles] This is the best.
    我同意 你让事情变得简单多了 I agree. You’ve made things even easier
    比你当时完成了任务还要简单 than if you hadn’t been incompetent.
    啊哦 我们遇上枪枪了 U h-oh. We get shoot-shoot now.
    好了 大家请在座位上坐好 All right, folks, if you could please take your seats,
    我们即将进入虫洞 we’re about to enter the wormhole.
    希望每人都买好了晚餐 So, I hope everybody bought a dinner first.
    - 这段子不错 - 这段子挺好 -[ Chuckles] Nice. -Nice.
    Jerry 走到那边去 -[ Grunts] -Jerry, step over there
    把你自己锁进逃生舱 and lock yourself in the escape pod.
    - 你不杀我们了吗 - 我只杀Rick -You’re not killing us? -I’m killing Rick.
    你可以走了 你对我构不成威胁 对任何人也是 You’re free to go. You’re no threat to me or anyone.
    有点太刻薄了吧 Now you’re just being mean.
    对啊 你也太刻薄了 虽然无意冒犯 Yeah, you’re mean! No offense.
    要是刻薄的话就直接射杀你了 Jerry Mean would be shooting you, Jerry.
    这算是省了发子弹 This is saving a bullet.
    回到你那在沉默中受辱的家庭里 Go back to your quietly ashamed family
    你的余生就在 and live out the rest of your days
    否认你渴望长阴道之中度过吧 in denial of your vagina fantasies.
    那只是人人都有的一时的想法 It was a one-time thought that everyone has!
    你在干嘛 What are you doing?
    我在表现耀武扬威般的勇敢 I’m being triumphantly brave!
    这不叫耀武扬威也不叫勇敢 It’s not triumphant or brave.
    你都没有任何风险 You’re not risking anything.
    你可能会射我 You might shoot me.
    我想你知道我不会的 I think you know I won’t.
    因为你知道我可怜你 Because you know I feel sorry for you.
    你这样只是为了可以告诉自己 You’re just doing this so you can tell yourself
    你奋斗过 嗷 you fought — Ow!
    时间场受损 WOMAN: Temporal shield compromised.
    恭喜你Jerry 你将作为一个男人死去 Congratulations, Jerry. You get to die a man.
    呃 好的好的 我会离开的 Uh, that’s okay! I’ll leave!
    别开枪啊 我是阴道男啊 记得吗 Please don’t shoot. I-I’m the vagina guy, remember?
    哇哦 我身上发生了什么 Whoa! What is happening to me?
    这里是哪 我在哪儿 Where is this? Where am I?
    我死了吗 Am I dead?
    我 我还活着吗 A-Am I — Am I still alive?
    你不该问这些问题 RICK: Those aren’t the questions you should be asking.
    啊 Huh?!
    嘘 shh!
    抓到你啦 [Chuckles] Ah, got ya!
    过来 小南瓜 Come here, you little pumpkin.
    我屁股上有屎 I have shit on my ass.
    喔 哎呦 Whoa, fuck this!
    我是谁 Who am I?
    我是时间 我真的是时间 I’m time! I’m literally time!
    喔哦哦 ALL: Whooooa!
    啊 Aah!
    天呐 我感觉我们的灵魂相互交融 Oh, God. I feel like our souls were united,
    我们永远地结为一体了 and we were all one with eternity.
    我们肉身未变 Our body’s unchanged,
    但我们的心灵已经历经千重轮回 yet our minds have lived a thousand lifetimes.
    过那么久 我会原谅你吗 Is that enough time for me to forgive you?
    我不知道 I don’t know, but it’s enough time
    但那么久 足够让突触阻尼剂失效了 for a synaptic dampener to wear off.
    天啊 他还没决定还要不要杀死我们呢 Jesus!He hadn’t decided he was still going to kill us!
    他在说服自己去杀 这种事儿我见过 He was talking himself into it. I’ve seen it before.
    宇宙神化的嗨劲儿退得比鼠尾草都快 Cosmic apotheosis wears off faster than salvia.
    我才开始相信你 I’m starting to believe you because I just finished merging
    因为刚和你的本质融合了无穷的时光 with your essence for an endless epoch,
    现在我又觉得你是个混账了 and I’m already back to thinking you’re an asshole.
    无所谓 咱们赶紧分道扬镳吧 Fine with me. Let’s just go our separate ways.
    听起来你和”时光”这个词 Sounds like you and the word “epoch”
    还有好多旧要叙呢 have a lot of catching up to do.
    等等 别抛下我 Wait, don’t leave me!
    好了 你们可以站起来走走 MAN: All right, folks, you’re free to get up
    围着船舱四处走动 and walk around the cabin
    或许把虫洞拿出来当早饭 and maybe take the wormhole out for breakfast.
    你可以吃晚饭也可以吃早饭 MAN # : Okay, you can do the dinner one
    但不能两个一起 or the breakfast one, but not both.
    你搞懂那玩意了吗 You think you got that thing figured out?
    是的 我知道我在做什么 Yeah, I know what I’m doing.
    很好 因为我有一个想法 BETH: Good. Because I have an idea.
    它实际上是”一些”和”更多”的缩写(s’more 烤棉花糖) It’s actually a contraction of “some” and “more.”
    - 明白了吗 - 哇哦 -You see that? -Oh, wow.
    我错得很呐 I was way off.
    Morty 这儿怎么回事儿 Morty, what’s happening here?
    Summer钻进了我外公的车库 Summer got into my grandpa’s garage,
    瞎搞一番 然后把自己变成了一个怪物 messed around, and turned herself into a monster.
    我妈也这么做了 为了让她好受些 My mom did the same to make her feel better.
    她是一位好母亲 She’s a good mom.
    哦 我天 我要去给我妈妈通电话 Oh, my God. I have to go call my mother!
    - Tricia 等等 - Ethan Ethan -Tricia, wait! -MORTY: Ethan! Ethan!
    没事的 坐下 Hey, it’s okay. Sit down.
    你弄哭了我姐姐 Ethan You made my sister cry, Ethan.
    你让她对自己的身体产生焦虑 You messed with her body image.
    - 听着 Morty 我 - 嘘 嘘 嘘 - Look, Morty, I —Shh, shh, shh.
    嘘 嘘 嘘 Shh, shh, shh.
    小心点 Ethan 你的烤棉花糖着火了 Careful, Ethan. Yours’more is burning.
    我想我俩最好先通通气儿 Uh, I guess we better get on the same page
    关于我们的假冒险 about our fake adventure.
    好的 我们来做个交易 -Right. -I’ll make you a deal.
    我会去掉你企图谋杀我的那部分 I’ll leave out the part where you tried to murder me…
    而我会去掉你承认破坏我们婚姻的那部分 And I’ll leave out the part where you admitted to sabotaging our marriage.
    你想不想 You want to…
    不了 如果家人看到我这副样子 Nah, if the family sees me like this,
    就会可怜我的 they’ll feel sorry for me.
    这不再是我的标志行为了 Which is no longer my signature move.
    再见了 我的朋友 Later days, amigo.
    事实上 我刚发现 我没带钱包 Actually, I just realized, I don’t have my wallet,
    而我的公交卡还在里面 所以或许 and my bus pass is in there, so maybe —
    坚强点儿 Jerry 我相信你 Stay strong, Jerry. I believe in you!
    我跟你们说 伙伴们 这才是生活 I tell you, fellas. This is the life.
    这当然是 It certainly is.
    敬自由 To freedom!
    看上去像是个 - Ooh! Looks like a - .
    转两下比例旋钮 Ooh, a couple cranks on the scaling knob
    再来四个迪莱巴交叉渐变 瞬间就能复原 with a four dilabyte cross fade would fix that up in a jiff.
    四个 你这样能达成 %的去变形化都算走运了 Four? You’d be lucky to clear % de-morphized with that kind of range.
    先生们 先生们 还记得我们的约定吗 Gentlemen, gentlemen, what did we agree on?
    不谈工作 TOGETHER: No work talk!
    让我们就这样放松 以及享受退休生活 Let’s just relax and enjoy our retirement, shall —
    天呐 -[ Bird screeches] -Oh, my God!
    啊 Aaah!