, “冷石”史蒂夫奥斯丁 著名摔角手及演员 性格桀骜不驯
    , 本地新闻 孩童谋杀犯Joseph Ei Lipnip NEWS ANCHOR In local news,child murderer Joseph Eli Lipnip
    , 将在明天实行注射死刑 is scheduled to die tomorrow by lethal致死的 injection,
    , 这次行刑引起的关注远超 his execution already drawing dozens more spectators观众、旁观者
    , 苟延残喘的电视新闻业 Carla than the death of TV news Carla?
    , 这个曾经吃掉自己儿子的男人 CARLA JOHNSON The man that once ate his own son
    , 天哪 他终于要被正法了 Wow He’s really getting executed after all this time
    , 你知道吗 他吃掉的儿子是 You know the son that he ate was —
    , 你最好的朋友Tommy Your best friend — Tommy
    , 我们知道了 别显摆发生在你身边的谋杀案了 We know STop true-crime bragging吹牛
    , 我受到了(精神)创伤 Summer I was traumatized, Summer
    , 你们这代人不懂 Okay, your generation wouldn’t get that
    , 扯 我们这代人吃个早饭都能受到创伤 Bitch, my generation gets traumatized for breakfast
    , 我经过了多年的心理治疗才接受这个现实 It took years of therapy to even process the reality
    , 在我小时候 I mean, when I was a kid,
    , 我跟自己说Tommy只是在 I just told myself that Tommy had gotten lost
    , 仙果乐园的魔法世界里迷路了 in the magical realm领域、范围 of Froopyland
    , - 仙果乐园 - 我假想的世界 -“Froopyland?” -My make-believe world
    , 我知道这名字傻里傻气的 但这世界对我来说太真实了 I know the name’s stupid, but it was so real to me
    , 按照监护权协议 你们这个周末 Aren’t you guys supposed to be at your father’s
    , 不是应该去爸爸家吗 for custody weekend?
    , 我们不急 太阳下山爸爸才起床 We’re not in a hurry Dad sleeps until sundown
    , 我们能不能继续说仙果 Can we talk a little bit more about this Froopy—[
    , 别用泡泡枪 Zap, bloop] -SUMMER Not the bubble gun!
    , 里面没空气 -There’s no air — -[ Zap, bloop]
    , 我得承认我越来越喜欢泡泡枪了 I gotta say, I am warming up to the bubble gun image.png
    , 你要是那么会起名字 You know, if you’re so great at naming things,
    , 不如以后所有名字都归你起 why don’t you do it from now on?
    , - 什么 - 仙果乐园 -What? -Froopyland
    , 这是我最得意的作品吗 不敢说 Was it my best work? I don’t know
    , 但就可以侮辱它没创意吗 Does it deserve to be shit on creatively?
    , 没错 Yeah, that’s right
    , 从你惊恐的表情中 我想你也意识到 I agree with your look of horrified realization实现、领悟
    , 你有时候说话非常伤人 You can be very inconsiderate不顾别人的 sometimes
    , 在这儿 Here it is
    , 我让一个量子超正方体坍缩了才 You know, I collapsed a quantum tesseract to —
    , 爸 我不想知道制作过程 Dad, I don’t care how you made it
    , 我想知道Tommy是不是还在里面 I want to know if Tommy’s still in there!
    , 放松点 Beth -Relax, Beth -[ Jingling, crackling ]
    , 如果他还在 我们就能找到他 If he is, we’ll find him
    , 他是唯一没有虚构DNA的 He’ll be the only sun-bleached给太阳晒黑的 skeleton
    , 晒干的骷髅 with non-imaginary DNA
    , Tommy Tommy Tommy!
    , 太可怕了 This is a nightmare
    , 不敢相信你以前居然把我关在 I can’t believe you used to lock me up
    , 这个奇幻的鸡窝里 in this glorified chicken coop
    , 鸡窝 Chicken coop?
    , 那些是程序生成的云朵 Beth Those are procedurally generated clouds, Beth
    , 这条河是真正的彩虹做的 That river is a rainbow Literally
    , 我 我为这个地方下足了功夫 Come on, I-I-I put real elbow grease into this place
    , 你应该在你女儿身上下足功夫 Well, you’re supposed to put elbow grease into your daughter!
    , - 恶心 - 他会不会被什么东西吃了 -Gross -Do you think something ate him?
    , 不会 仙果乐园的生物都被设计成无害的 Nope Froopyland creatures were designed to be harmless
    , 他一定是活活饿死的 He definitely just starved to death
    , 我也有可能在这儿活活饿死 I could have been the one who starved to death in here
    , 我受伤了怎么办 What if I’d gotten hurt?
    , 你没说错 我这爸爸当得太差了 God, you’re right I’m a terrible dad
    , 不配活下去 Well, nothing to live for
    , - 再见 残忍的世界 - 爸 -Goodbye, cruel world! -Dad!
    , 噢 你怎么想 -[ Thump] -Oh, how do you like that?
    , 这造物者得多残暴才把地面做成了弹性的 What kind of merciless creator makes the ground bouncy?
    , 我得溺死谢罪 I’m gonna have to drown myself
    , 哦不 在这水里居然能呼吸 Oh, no Oh, the water’s breathable?
    , 谁干的 Who went and did that?
    , 无所谓 Oh, whatever
    , 对 无所谓 Yeah, whatever
    , 一个爸爸制作了R -D 机器人状的马桶 A dad makes a toilet look like R -D ,
    , 就引爆了Reddit首页 and it breaks the front page of Reddit,
    , 我给你创造了整个世界 而不是塞个iPad了事 but I’m Charles Manson because I gave you
    , 倒成你眼中的杀人狂了 your own world instead of an iPad
    , 你现在一定想说 啊 I think the words you’re looking for are — Aah!
    , 我操他娘 这畜生有爪子 Holy tuck! Shit! This thing has claws!
    , 行了 我懂 这里对儿童特别安全 Yeah, I get it It’s a childproot world
    , 不不 我认真的 真的很痛啊 No, no, seriously, this hurts really bad!
    , 这玩意儿锋利的爪子都陷进我的 This thing is sinking razor-sharp claws in —
    , 啊 操 Aah! Shit!
    , 你说的我都明白了 爸 -You’ve made your point, Dad -[ Screeches]
    , 爸 Dad?
    , 呃 -Ugh! -[ Both panting ]
    , 周末监护权这种事儿是哪个蠢货想出来的 Whose idea was this stupid custody weekend thing?
    , 我觉得应该是防止陷入害怕被遗弃的情绪的 I think it’s supposed to help prevent abandonment issues
    , 我想要被遗弃 I want to be abandoned
    , 我说的是咱爸 -Yeah, I’m talking about Dad -[ Door opens]
    , 欢迎来到离婚老爸的家 Bienvenue a Ia Chez Divorced Dad image.png
    , 哇哦 老爸 Wow, Dad
    , 你这地方看起来不那么像烂毒窝了 Your place looks way less like a crackhouse
    , 这儿还挺干净的 像个藏毒点 It’s actually clean, like a cocaine house
    , 爸 发生什么了吗 Dad, what’s going on?
    , 我只是精神集中 生活积极 I’m simply centered, activated —
    , - 还能意念移物 - 挺酷的 对吧 -And telekinetic? -Pretty cool, huh?
    , 瞧瞧看 谁想要杯果昔 Check it out Who wants a smoothie?
    , 噢 哦 不 呃 噢 天哪 Oh — Oh, no Uh, oh, God
    , Summer Summer 你能拿下 Summer— Summer, can you —
    , - 啊 - 抱歉 -A a h! -Sorry
    , 你还有很多要学 我的Uloo You have much to learn, my Uloo
    , Morty Summer 这是Kiara Morty, Summer, this is Kiara
    , 她是来自Krootabulon的女战士祭司 She’s a Krootabulan warrior priestess from Krootabulon
    , 我 我知道Krootabulon是哪儿 老爸 I-I know where Krootabulans are from, Dad
    , 察门拓咯 Uh, Chaimuntolo
    , 察门拓咯 年轻人们 Chaimuntolo, younglings
    , 海们 切咯 Hymen cholo
    , 你们父亲心里充满着对你们的爱 Your father’s mind holds love for you
    , 能在物理层面相会 请多指教 I am humbled to meet in physicality
    , 老爸 你这是 Dad, are you —
    , 在和一位牛逼性感的外星女士谈恋爱吗 In love with a badass, sexy alien lady?
    , 哈哈 说不准 Summer 你觉得呢 Ha, ha, I don’t know, Summer You tell me
    , 我没打算问你是不是和她恋爱 I wasn’t going to ask if you were in love
    , 因为你基本上不认识她 since you barely know her
    , Summer Kiara和我是通过星际约会服务认识的 Summer Kiara and I met on that interstellar dating service
    , 你妈和我还在一起时Rick总是给我介绍那个服务 Rick was always suggesting when your mom and I were together
    , 然后事情就顺理成章发生了 And things just kind of clicked
    , 我们必须行动了 We must move!
    , 我们的预订是 点钟 Our reservation is at
    , 我不想她离开 -[ Whoosh] -l hate to see her leave,
    , 但是我爱看她相位移动走的样子 but I love to watch her phase shift away
    , 我想你们都注意到她有三个那什么了 I’m sure you noticed what she has three of,
    , 但是猜猜她什么部位有两个 but guess what she has two of
    , 呜呼 好啦 别啄了 All right, knock it off!
    , 听着 我一直没追究你们 Listen, I’ve been giving you a pass
    , 生命的奇妙让我很感动 但是 because I’m charmed that life finds a way, but —
    , 啊 够了 Aah! All right, you know what?
    , 痛 -[ Ray gun fires] -Ouch!
    , 噢 啊 Oh! Unh!
    , 痛 天哪 Ouch! God!
    , 啊 -[ Sizzling ] -Aah!
    , 啊 Agh!
    , 噢 爸 这个地方是最安全的 Oh, yeah, this place is the safest
    , 世上最好的老爸 Best dad ever
    , 你就不能直接说”我承认 我搞砸了”吗 Can’t you just say, “I admit it, I screwed up”?
    , 呃 那又有什么意义吗 Uh, what would be the point of that?
    , 你做不到 是吧 [Chuckling] You can’t do it, can you?
    , 你他妈就不会道歉 You can’t just fucking apologize
    , 好啦好啦 Beth 我很抱歉 Okay, okay, Beth, I’m sorry
    , 抱歉的是你认为你理应得到我的道歉 you think you deserve an apology
    , 嘿 别看我啊 -[ Screeches] -Hey, don’t look at me
    , 你小孩在人来人往的超市地上滚来滚去 You let your kid roll around on the floor of a target,
    , 那总是要被踩上的 it’s gonna get stepped on
    , 哈 问题出在这儿 Huh Well, here’s the problem right here
    , 一堆仙果乐园程序的碳 We’ve got a bunch of Froopyland procedural carbons
    , 和人类DNA搅和着混在了一起 all gummed up and mixed in with real human DNA
    , 你是说Tommy通过和仙果生物发生性关系而在这里存活下来 Are you saying Tommy survived here by having sex with Froopy creatures,
    , 生下仙果人类混血后代 creating Froopy-human hybrid offspring,
    , 然后摄入他们的蛋白质 and then consuming their proteins,
    , 用永无止境的食人乱伦循环来维持生命吗 sustaining himself with an endless cycle of cannibalistic incest?
    , 那只是一个讲得通的理论 It’s just a working theory
    , 当然了 如果真的是这样 Of course, if that’s the case,
    , 我猜他应该会在他那些难吃的后代组成的 I expect he’d be worshiped崇拜 as a kind of god
    , 一个中世纪水平的社会中被当做某种神明来供奉 by a medieval-level society of his least-delicious children
    , 不许动 你们是囚犯 属于我们高贵的主宰者 Halt! You are now prisoners of our exalted ruler,
    , 赐予生命者 夺取生命者 giver and taker of life,
    , 救助凡人者 吞噬凡人者 humper and consumer of mortality,
    , - 生命的播散者 - 好的 我能打断一下么 -dispenser分配者 of life — -Yes, if I could interrupt?
    , 这些我们早早的就知道了 We’re way ahead of the reveal here
    , 对 带我们去见你们的Tommy国王就行了 Yeah, just take us to King Tommy
    , 我以为女祭司战士 I thought warrior priestesses
    , 只能在狩猎的时候离开K星 could only leave Krootabu Ion on a hunt
    , 嗯 谢谢你甜心 Mmm Thank you, sweetie
    , 我希望现在不是猎人类的季节 I hope it’s not human season
    , 我来地球是为了狩猎Varrix 我绝对不会猎杀人类的 I’m on Earth hunting the Varrix I would never hunt a human
    , 你们的父亲已经和我灵魂相绑了 Your father and I are soul-bonded
    , 灵魂相绑 Soul-bonded?
    , 呃 你们星球的一天是不是比较短 Urn, does your planet have shorter days,
    , 因为你俩进展得有点快了吧 because you guys are moving kind of fast, no?
    , 干掉他 宝贝几 Go get him, honey!
    , 她总是在狩猎 She’s always hunting [Chuckles]
    , 她可能知道有个Varrix在这工作 She probably knew a Varrix worked here,
    , 所以她说Yelp上的评价无所谓 and that’s why she said the Yelp reviews didn’t matter
    , 爸 你到底知不知道 Dad, do you understand
    , 对于K星人来说灵魂相绑是多严肃的事 how serious Krootabulon soul-bonding is?
    , 呃 天 Morty 我不知道 名字都这么随意的了 Uh, gee, Morty, I don’t know It’s got such a casual name
    , 如果你们想教育谁关于承诺的事儿 If you want to lecture anyone about commitment,
    , 先去找你们的妈吧 start with your mom
    , 我的天 爸 这就是这件事的原因么 Oh, my God Dad, is that what this is about?
    , 你这么急着找新欢是为了报复妈 Are you rushing into a new thing to get back at Mom?
    , 每个周末 你们俩都告诉我要放下 向前看 Every weekend, you two have told me to move on
    , 向前看的意思是先从床上下来 Move on, like, out of bed
    , 别再用面巾纸当擦屁股纸 Like, sTop using paper towels for toilet paper,
    , 不是马马虎虎的去找一个备胎 not move on into a sloppy rebound
    , 爸 你需要冷静一下 仔细想想这个灵魂相绑的事 Dad, you need to slow down, rethink this soul bond
    , 你们为什么就不能老实讲讲心里话呢 Why don’t you just say what you really mean?
    , 你们觉得这很酷 You think it’s cool
    , 我靠和她上床就能意念移物 that having sex with her gives me telekinesis
    , 而且你们也看出来了她身材超辣 and you recognize she’s got a hot bod
    , 就像<霹雳猫>里的Cheetara一样 like Cheetara in “Thundercats,”
    , 但是你们就是看不惯她 but you’re grossed out
    , 因为她有个牛油果形状的脑袋和蓝色的皮肤 by her avocado-shaped head and blue skin,
    , 然后你们认为我可能想套个袋子和假发在她脑袋上 and you think I want to put a bag and a wig on her head
    , 不管怎么说 我花了这么多时间精力 After all the time and energy I spent
    , 去教育你俩关于种族的事情 teaching you two about race
    , 最后你俩还是搞种族歧视了 -[ Varrix screams] - you ended up racist
    , 很快Varrix就会从你们的世界消失 Soon your world will be rid of Varrix
    , 明天 我们庆祝 Tomorrow, we celebrate
    , 我们可以带孩子们去水上乐园 We could take the kids to the water park
    , 我们用狩猎来庆祝 We celebrate with a hunt!
    , 喔 孩子们 想打猎么 Ooh You kids want to hunt?
    , - 想 - 想 -Yes -Yes
    , 全体跪拜Tommy国王 All kneel for King Tommy!
    , 我才不跪 舔我屌吧 I’m not kneeling Suck my dick
    , 你们好啊 所有人 Well, hello, all!
    , 我是这片土地的国王 I am the King of Froopyland,
    , 但我也有用另外一个名字 but I go by another name, too
    , - 我们知道 - 那就是Tommy -We know -It’s Tommy!
    , - 我们知道 - 我们知道 -We know -We know
    , 我从只是个小孩子的时候就住在这里了 I have lived here since I was a mere child
    , - 我们知道 - 知道了 -We know -Got it
    , 我想你们一定想知道 我是怎么生存下来的 I suppose you’re wondering, how do I sustain myself?
    , - 哦 天 - 不我们不想 -Oh, boy -No, we aren’t
    , 我一直认为戏剧是说明事情最好的方式 I always find the theater is the best way to clarify things
    , - 啊 - 认真的么 -Ugh -Seriously?
    , - 喔我的天啊 - 演员们 开始吧 -Oh, my God -TOMMY Players, go!
    , 我是小Tommy I am little Tommy
    , 我是小Beth I am tiny Beth
    , 噢 不是吧 Oh, come on
    , 跟我一起来我的魔法世界吧 Come with me to my magic world
    , 别去啊 FROOPY Don’t do it!
    , 这是我的秘密仙果乐园 这里没有规矩 This is my secret Froopyland where I have no rules!
    , 我好兴奋 I am excited
    , 我嫉妒Tommy的朋友们和他的任天堂游戏 I am jealous of Tommy’s friends and his Nintendo
    , 还有他那位爱他的爸爸 and his dad who likes him
    , 我猜Tommy不是个出色的剧作家啊 I take it Tommy wasn’t class playwright
    , 你想看看蜂蜜沼泽吗 Do you want to see the Honey Swamp?
    , 好啊 咱们去看吧 Yes! Let’s do it!
    , 呃 我想看着你死翘翘 Well, I want to see you dead
    , 喔 救命啊 我被困住了 Ow, help! I’m stuck!
    , 我被埋进了蜜糖里 I’m covered in honey
    , 哼 呃 还挺有意思的 Huh Well, that’s interesting
    , 都是假的 Fake news
    , 许多个夜晚过去了 我依然被困在这块陌生的土地上 Many nights have passed, trapped in this strange land
    , 饥饿袭来 我只能通过干一发来打发时间 I am hungry, and all I can do to pass the time is hump
    , 我和石头来一发 I will hump this rock
    , 和这棵树来一发 I will hump this tree
    , 和这块土地上的野兽来一发 I will hump this beast of the land
    , 在它体内留种 and put my seed in it
    , 我是Tommy的第一个孩子 I am the first of Tommy’s children
    , 吃了我的肉 你就有机会活下来 Eat of my flesh so you may survive
    , 所以我就这么做了 And so I did
    , 噢 哇哦 好吧 呃呃 Oh, wow Okay Yeah
    , 那事儿确实是真的 干 干得好 Certified fresh Good — Good job
    , 或许接下来该到示范时间了 Perhaps a demonstration is in order [ Unzips shorts ]
    , - 不 接下来我最不想看到的就是这个 - 呃 No, that is the last thing that is in order!
    , 噢 我的天啊 可怜的仙果乐园居民 -Oh, my God -Poor Froopy character
    , 放开他 -Leave him alone -[ Shorts zip]
    , 噢 大家围过来啊 -Ahh Gather ‘round, gang! -[ Moos]
    , 晚餐时间到 -Dinner time -[ Splorch]
    , 好吧 就这样吧 我要离开这个地方 All right, that’s it I’m outta here
    , 你这是在做什么 What are you doing?
    , 咱们正冒险到一半呢 We’re in the middle of an adventure
    , 这些才是冒险需要的东西 Beth Here’s some things an adventure needs, Beth
    , 冲突 风险 让我得到好处的方法 Conflict, stakes, a way for me to benefit,
    , 还有一样 显然是Morty and, clearly, Morty
    , 但是Tommy还在那里 But Tommy’s still in there,
    , 操木偶 吃小孩 raping Muppets and eating babies
    , 是啊 幸运的是 那不是咱们的问题 Yep Luckily, that’s not our problem
    , 是抽身走人的时候了 Time to pull the plug
    , 走人 Pull the plug?
    , 我们必须把Tommy从那个地方弄出来 明白吗 We have to get Tommy out of there, okay?
    , 我们 我们必须做正确的事情 We — We need to do the right thing
    , 把你身为父亲从来没做过的事情做了 Do what you never did as a dad —
    , 稍微费点心思 Put in a little effort
    , 得了吧 省省”做好事”那一套吧 All right, cut the high-road routine
    , 我们都看了Tommy那傻逼演出 We both saw Tommy’s shitty play
    , 你把他推进了蜜糖沼泽里 Beth You pushed him in the Honey Swamp, Beth
    , 他的幸福生活在你的手中 His very happy life is in your hands
    , 你去把他救回来吧 You go save him from it
    , 你宁愿相信一场表演 也不愿意相信自己的亲生女儿 [Scoffs] You’re gonna believe a play over your own daughter?
    , 是啊 确实是 Beth 因为你不是我的女儿 Yes, I am, Beth, because you’re not my own daughter
    , 噢 天啊 是是 我不过是无数个Beth中的一个 Oh, God, yes I’m one of infinite Beths
    , 在无穷多个宇宙里 有无数个爸爸 with infinite fathers in infinite universes
    , 有种东西叫做拥抱 爸爸 它不会杀了你 It’s called a hug, Dad It won’t kill you
    , 呃 别那么肯定 Yeah, don’t be so sure
    , 你知道为什么所有的Rick都为自己的小女儿 You know why all Ricks made a Froopyland
    , 建造了一个仙果乐园吗 for all their little girls?
    , 这和Tommy夸大其词 结构混乱 Same reason I wasn’t surprised by Tommy’s overwritten, badly structured,
    , 质量低劣的回忆重演并不令我吃惊是同一个原因 cheaply produced flashback
    , 你他妈以前是个可怕的小孩 You were a scary fucking kid, man
    , 噢 我的天啊 [Scoffing] Oh, my God
    , 我制造仙果乐园并不是为了摆脱你 Beth I didn’t make Froopyland to get rid of you, Beth
    , 而是为了保护邻居们的安全 I did it to protect the neighborhood
    , 并非因为高尚的情操 Not in a [burps] noble sense
    , 只是因为让你与世隔绝更加实际 It was just more practical to sequester you
    , 不然我就不得不开始给每个不懂礼貌的小男孩 before I had to start, you know, cloning a replacement
    , 和每只容易上钩的动物克隆出一个替代品 for every less-than-polite little boy or gullible animal
    , 因为他们撞上了个反社会疯子 that might cross your socio-path 社会性病态（sociopathy）
    , 你宁愿相信我是邪恶的 You would rather believe I’m evil
    , 也不愿意承认你是个坏爸爸 than admit that you were a bad father?
    , 噢 不是这样的 Oh, dude, no
    , 不 坏爸爸到我这里已经登峰造极 No, bad father all the way to the max over here
    , 我他妈是个疯子 I’m a fucking nutcase
    , 这点直接遗传到了你身上 And the acorn plopped straight down, baby
    , 看看这堆玩意儿 Look at some of the shit
    , 你还是个小屁孩的时候让我给你做的 you were asking me to make you as a kid
    , 镭射枪 Ray guns
    , 强迫别人喜欢上你的鞭子 A whip that forces people to like you
    , 隐形手铐 捕家长陷阱 闪电枪 Invisibility cuffs, a parent trap, a lightning gun,
    , 内脏精准到符合解剖学的玩具熊 a teddy bear with anatomically correct innards,
    , 眼睛会转的夜视镜 静音跑鞋 night-vision googly-eye glasses, sound-erasing sneakers,
    , 假指纹 催眠镖 false fingerprints, fall-asleep darts,
    , 测谎人偶 坚不可摧的棒球棍 a lie-detecting doll, an indestructible baseball bat,
    , 长得像瓢虫的电击枪 假警徽 a Taser shaped like a ladybug, a fake police badge,
    , 定位追踪贴纸 彩虹色的胶带 location-tracking stickers, rainbow-colored duct tape,
    , 心控发夹 毒药口香糖 mind-control hair clips, poison gum,
    , 有自我意识的粉色弹簧刀 a pink, sentient switchblade
    , 嗨 Beth 你长高了 Hi, Beth You’ve gotten taller
    , 我们要继续捅来捅去吗 Shall we resume stabbing?
    , 你有没有想过 Has it occurred to you
    , 我让你做这些东西 that I asked you to make those things
    , 是因为想让你花时间陪陪我 because I wanted you to spend time with me?
    , 你有没有想过 如果我真的想杀了Tommy Has it occurred to you that if I did try killing Tommy,
    , 可能是因为我嫉妒他的家庭 it might be because I was jealous of his family?
    , 等等 你说啥 为什么 Wait, what? Why?
    , 他爸难道不是食人族什么的吗 Wasn’t his dad, like, some kind of cannibal?
    , 看来他这样肯定是遗传的 Seems like it must be hereditary
    , 天啊 这都是你的错 Oh, my God This is your fault
    , 我不是个坏人 I am not a bad person
    , 我要回到那个地方 I’m gonna go back in there
    , 我会把Tommy带出来 挽救一切 I’m getting Tommy, and I’m fixing this!
    , 爱怎么说怎么说 “冷石”史蒂夫奥斯丁 Whatever you say, Stone Cold Steve Austin
    , 我也不知道为什么要那样说 I don’t know why I just said that
    , 连起来根本不通 但是说都说了就这么着吧 Doesn’t make a lot of sense, but gotta stand by it
    , 爱怎么说怎么说 “冷石”史蒂夫奥斯丁 Whatever you say, Stone Cold Steve Austin
    , 从我嘴里说出来就是屌 I’m owning it
    , 停下来 爸 你这样不对 MORTY No, Dad! You’re not doing it right!
    , 把它们的头砍下来不对吗 Cutting off their heads isn’t doing it right?
    , 它们显然能再生 They’re [grunts] clearly regenerative!
    , 我 我觉得你必须得捅穿它们的心脏或者什么东西 I-I think you have to stab them through the heart or something
    , 你觉得还是你知道 You think or you know?
    , 我还以为你对外星人很了解呢 艾傻克阿屎莫夫(艾萨克阿西莫夫) I thought you were the alien expert, Isaac Asi-hole
    , 别冲我嚷嚷 我累了 Don’t snap at me! I’m tired!
    , - 我也是 - 我们都累了 -Me, too! -We’re all tired!
    , 这是最后一只 That’s the last of them
    , 今晚 我们庆祝 Tonight, we celebrate
    , 用狩猎来庆祝 With a hunt?
    , 没错 为了明天 我们狩猎 Yes, for tomorrow, we hunt
    , 我 呃 真的得从这个灵魂相绑里脱身了 I, uh, really have to get out of this soul bond
    , - 你他妈 爸 - 老天爷 必须的 -What the fuck, Dad? -Oh, my God! Duh!
    , - 显而易见 - 当然了 -Obviously! -Yeah, no kidding!
    , - 你们能帮我吗 - 什么 怎么帮 -Can you guys help me? -What? How?
    , 我能不能就是 呃 跟她说是因为我的孩子 Can I just, uh, tell her it’s because of my kids?
    , 你懂的 比如 你们不喜欢她脑袋的形状 或者 You know, like, you don’t like the shape of her head, or —
    , 那是你 爸 都是你 That’s you, Dad! That’s you!
    , 你既幼稚又愚蠢 You’re a baby and an idiot!
    , 我觉得这一点已经是板上钉钉了 Summer 赶紧帮帮我 I think that’s been established, Summer Now help me!
    , 首先 我想让你承认 First, I want you to admit
    , 你是个隐藏的种族主义者 软弱的性别主义者 that you’re a closet racist, a beta-male sexist,
    , 把每个人都拖进你的烂摊子里 and you dragged everyone into a horrible situation
    , 因为你只想着自己 by only thinking of yourself
    , 好吧 Okay
    , 我要听见你说出来 I want to hear you say it
    , 听着 我是个隐藏的种族主义者 Look, I’m a closeted racist,
    , 我是个性别主义者而且自私自利 and I’m sexist and selfish,
    , 我把我们拖进了性别主义种族主义的烂摊子里 and I dragged us all into my sexist, racist bad things
    , - 因为我是个傻子 - 谢谢 -because I’m stupid -Thank you
    , - 现在你愿意帮我了吧 - 她已经帮过了 - Now you’re gonna help me, right? -She just did
    , 没错 自己擦屁股去吧 Yeah, clean up your own mess
    , 等等 搞什么 Wait, wait, what?
    , 老天 Oh, man
    , 好了 伙计们 -[ Trumpet fanfare plays] -TOMMY All right, everybody
    , 下一项日程 Next item on the docket —
    , 我想要和你们中的一些发生性关系 I would like to have sex with some of you
    , 然后吃掉婴儿 -and then eat the babies -[ Froopys murmuring]
    , 我就知道你们喜欢这样 I thought you’d like that
    , 我干什么都是这么惹人爱 是吧 I do keep rolling out the hits, don’t I?
    , 哦 是神奇蜡笔女士 Oh! It’s the Magic Crayon Lady!
    , 你饿了吗 我正准备做晚饭 Are you hungry? I was just about to make dinner
    , “做晚饭”的意思是 And by “make dinner,” I mean —
    , Tommy 我要带你回到真实的世界 Tommy, I’m going to take you to the real world
    , 这里就是真实的世界啊 Well, this is the real world
    , 不 你不明白 No, you don’t understand!
    , 你爸爸 呃 别人都以为你爸爸把你吃了 Your dad —Uh, people think your dad ate you!
    , 所以呢 你真傻 So? You doy-oy!
    , 人就应该吃人的啊 People should eat people
    , 别来烦我 Just leave me alone!
    , Tommy 你不明白 Tommy, you don’t understand
    , 我必须要把事情扳回正轨 I have to make this right
    , 因为你留在这儿是我的过失 because it’s my fault that you’re in here
    , 我就是Beth -I’m Beth -[ All gasp I
    , Beth 毁灭者 Beth? The destroyer!
    , 闭嘴吧 乱伦娘娘 Oh, suck it up, Princess Incest
    , 你掉到一滩蜂蜜里了 You fell into some honey
    , 有人推你的时候确实容易掉进去 Well, it tends to happen when one is pushed into honey
    , 你有权认为是我推的你 I respect your right to believe I pushed you
    , 噢 我还能有这种权利吗 Oh, do I get to have that?
    , 我的现实世界不是你施舍推到我面前的配餐薯条 Is my reality like a little side of fries —
    , 你让我过的宽扎节吗 a little Kwanzaa you’re willing to slide my way?
    , 是的 因为我的重点是救你爸爸的命 Yes, because I’m focused on saving your father’s life
    , 因为我不是个小气的人渣 because I’m not a petty piece of shit
    , 那么 让你说一句”抱歉 我推你了”应该不难 So, then, it should be pretty easy to say, “Sorry I pushed you ”
    , 确实不难 但是毫无必要 Real easy and not necessary,
    , 因为你回家一趟能救你爸爸的命 since you coming home will save your dad’s life
    , 而只是让别人满足你的傻逼自尊心什么事情都不会改变 whereas nothing is changed by anyone stroking your batsh it-crazy ego
    , 真是不好意思 Sorry, forgive me
    , 我在仙果乐园待了很久 Uh, I’ve been in Froopyland for quite a while
    , 道歉现在都不一样了吗 Have apologies changed?
    , Tommy 我抱歉的是你觉得我理应道歉 Tommy, I’m sorry you think you deserve an apology
    , 哦天呐 我跟我爸爸一个样儿 Oh, my God I’m my father
    , 呃 能来人直接杀了这个贱人吗 Uh, will someone just kill this B-word?
    , 呃 嘿 [Grunts] Hi-ya!
    , 哦天呐 我跟我爸爸一个样儿 Oh, my God I’m my father!
    , - 为杀戮而生 - 啊 -SWITCHBLADE Born to stab! -TOGETHER Ooh!
    , 所以 一个小逼加上两个小逼 And that’s why one pussy plus two pussies
    , 等于一群小逼 makes a bunch of pussies
    , 给点反应啊 大伙儿 Come on, y’all,
    , 我已经想尽办法让你们这些精虫上脑的家伙们听进课了 I’m trying to make this appealing to your sex-addicted lifestyles
    , 嗨 我要把Morty从学校接走 走吧 Morty Hi I need to pull Morty out of school Come on, Morty
    , 哈 你听见你爸说什么了吧 Morty Ha! You heard your daddy, Morty
    , 你要出校了 You have to leave school
    , 等等 我的价值取向是什么来着 Wait, what are my values?
    , - 爸 怎么了 - 我们要去阿拉斯加 -Dad, what’s going on? -We’re going to Alaska
    , - 什么 为啥啊 - 那儿多好啊 -What? Why? -It’s nice there
    , 而且 我和Kiara分手了 她没能心平气和地接受 Also, I broke up with Kiara, and she didn’t take it well,
    , 她想要杀了你们俩 and she wants to murder you two
    , 什么 那 那我们为什么还在慢悠悠地走 What? Th-Then why are we walking?
    , 我走是因为我累了 I’m walking because I’m tired
    , 你们俩绝对应该跑了 You guys should definitely run
    , 不好意思 我只是要 -[ Thud ] -Excuse me, I just —
    , 我 我还是从左边走吧 You know what? I’m — I’m just gonna go left
    , 不好吧 你的左边 也行 No, okay, your left, that’s fine
    , 你知道哪儿是左吗 天呐 Do you know what left is, ‘cause — Ugh!
    , 你分手跟我们有什么关系 What does your breakup have to do with us?
    , 我们举双手双脚选择跟老妈 Yeah, we chose Mom hands down
    , 我以为在律师那儿就讲明白了 I thought we made that clear at the lawyer’s office
    , 在你Facebook乱喷的那条的评论里也是 and in the comments under your weird rant on Facebook
    , 她貌似把我们分手怪在你们头上 She kind of blames you guys for the breakup
    , - 为什么 - 为什么 -Why? -Why?
    , 因为我告诉她这是你们俩的错 Because I told her it was your fault
    , - 什么鬼 - 什么鬼 -What?! -What?!
    , 我不是个坏人 Look, I’m not an evil person
    , 只是缺乏想象力而已 I’m just not very imaginative!
    , 啊 -Oh! -[ All scream]
    , 嘟 嘟 臀 RICK Doo-doo butt
    , 嘟 嘟 嘟 嘟 嘟 臀 Doo-doo-doo — doo-doo butt
    , 不对不对 -No -[ Jingling ]
    , 嘟 嘟 臀 嘟 嘟 臀 Doo-doo butt, doo-doo butt
    , - 嗨 - 嗨 -Hey -Hey
    , 呃 所以 纯粹好奇地问一句 Urm, hmm, so just, like, out of curiosity,
    , 如果你想克隆一个Tommy if you were to make a clone of Tommy,
    , 你需要什么东西才能开始 what would you need to get started?
    , 我不知道 Tommy的DNA I don’t kn-Tommy’s DNA?
    , 好的 因为他 呃 Okay, ‘cause he, urn
    , 对 他不想回来了 Yeah, he didn’t want to come back,
    , 所以 呃 他给了我这个 so, um, he gave me this
    , 他给了你他的手指 He gave you his finger?
    , 呃 好吧 事实上 Uh, well, what happened is —
    , - 没关系 这不重要 - 好吧 -It’s okay It doesn’t matter -Okay
    , 大概需要三个小时 This’ll take about three hours
    , 好的 Okay
    , 嗨 你要来帮忙吗 Hey You want to help?
    , 好 Okay
    , 咚 我有咚咚在屁股里 -Doo - I got a doo-doo in my butt
    , 而我不知道该做什么 - Doo-doo-doo-doo - And I don’t know what to do
    , 咚咚在我的屁股里 With the doo-doo in my butt
    , 但我知道一个父亲应该对你说什么 But I know that a father should say to you
    , 说他为你骄傲 - That he’s proud of you - Doo
    , 咚 每个女儿都是从父亲屁股里来的咚咚 Every daughter is a doo-doo from a father’s butt
    , 生物学上说 屁股就是个坚果 Biologically speaking, the butt is a nut
    , 每个父亲都在错误地做父亲 And every father fathers wrong
    , 噢 但没有一首歌 - Ooh - And there isn’t a song
    , 可以改变它 That can change that
    , 我累死了 我要去睡觉了 I am wiped out I guess I’ll turn in
    , 好 Cool
    , 爸爸 Dad?
    , 我觉得我一直都在假装 I feel like I’ve spent my life
    , 你是一个好人并且努力地想和你一样 pretending you’re a great guy and trying to be like you
    , 但是残酷的事实总是 And the ugly truth has always been —
    , 我不是那么好的人 而你就和我一样 That I’m not that great a guy and you’re exactly like me
    , 我很坏吗 Am I evil?
    , 更糟 你很聪明 Worse You’re smart
    , 当你知道一切都不重要的时候 整个宇宙都会是你的 When you know nothing matters, the universe is yours
    , 但我没有见过一个宇宙喜欢这样 And I’ve never met a universe that was into it
    , 宇宙就是一头野兽 The universe is basically an animal
    , 他以平庸的人为食 It grazes on the ordinary
    , 创造出无数的白痴只是为了吃掉他们 It creates infinite idiots just to eat them,
    , 和你的朋友Timmy没有什么不同 -not unlike your friend Timmy
    , - 是Tommy - 好 这些现在不重要 亲爱的 -Tommy - Yeah, it hardly matters now, sweetie
    , 聪明的人有机会爬到顶峰 You know, smart people get a chance to climb on Top,
    , 骑在现实背上 take reality for a ride,
    , 但现实会不停地试着把你甩下去 but it’ll never sTop trying to throw you
    , 并且 最终 它会成功 And, eventually, it will
    , 没有别的出路 There’s no other way off
    , 爸爸 我没有借口不去做我自己了 Dad, I’m out of excuses to not be who I am
    , 所以 我是谁 我应该做什么 So who am I? What do I do?
    , 我的建议是 出发吧 My advice — Take off
    , 给你的宇宙套上马鞍 看它会变成什么样 Put a saddle on your universe Let it kick itself out
    , 我不能这样做 I can’t do that
    , 我还有孩子们 Jerry 我的工作 The kids, Jerry, my job,
    , 还有 尽管我不想承认 美国广播公司的”单身汉”节目 and, as much as I hate to admit it, ABC’s “The Bachelor
    , 我可以克隆你 做一个完美的替代品 I can make a clone of you, a perfect instance of you,
    , 拥有你所有的记忆 with all your memories,
    , 在所有方面一模一样 an exact copy in every way
    , 它会给孩子们提供爱和支持 It’ll love and provide for the kids,
    , 做你的工作 并且以带着同样所谓讽刺的心态 do your job, and consume broadcast-network reality TV
    , 看电视真人秀节目 on the same allegedly ironic level as you
    , 你可以离开一天一个星期 You could be gone a day, a week,
    , 或者永远不回来 不会有任何后果 or the rest of your life with zero consequences
    , 当你决定你要回来的时候 The moment you decide to come back,
    , 我按下开关 克隆体就完成了它的任务 I flip a switch, and the clone’s job is done
    , 它不会感受到痛苦 也不会后悔 It feels no pain, it regrets nothing,
    , 绝对不会发生“银翼杀手”里的事情 and has zero chance of going “Blade Runner ”
    , 如果一切都不重要 为什么你要为我做这些 If nothing matters, why would you do that for me?
    , 我不知道 也许你太不重要了 以至于我喜欢你 I don’t know, maybe you matter so little that I like you
    , 或者这让你变得重要 Or maybe it makes you matter
    , 或许我爱你 Maybe I love you
    , 或许因为你的妈妈 Maybe something about your mother
    , 不要得寸进尺 Don’t jump a gift shark in the mouth
    , 我不知道我能不能做到 I don’t know if I can do it
    , 那么留下来 好好享受生活 Then stay and luxuriate in a life
    , 你最终会明白你选择了什么 you can finally know you’ve chosen
    , 我的小经验是不管你选择了什么 My secret bonus is that no matter what you choose,
    , 你最终都会适应 you’re finally gonna chill the fuck out
    , 好的 Okay
    , 我知道我要做什么了 I know what I want to do
    , 啊 Aah!
    , 噢 -[ Thud] -Ow!
    , 你逃不了的 You can’t run forever!
    , 她是真的被惹毛了 She’s really pissed off
    , 我知道 还有点撩人呢 I know It’s kinda hot
    , 闭嘴 Shut up!
    , 是狩猎者们 他们回来了 快跑 The hunters! They’re back! Run!
    , - 我们不是狩猎者 - 我们想和你们躲在一起 -We’re not hunters -We want to hide with you
    , 我们不是在躲藏 我们在筑巢 We’re not hiding We’re nesting
    , 得了吧你 Ooh Ia Ia
    , 这两个孩子必须被消灭 The children must be destroyed
    , 这样我们才能在一起 so that we can be together
    , 你应该用正确的方式跟她分手 爸爸 You need to break up with her, Dad — properly!
    , 该死的 爸 -[ Whoosh] -God damn it, Dad!
    , 甩了她 [Grunts] Dump her!
    , 行 行 Okay, okay
    , Kiara 我们直接远走高飞吧 Kiara, let’s just run away
    , - 爸 - 说什么呢 -Dad! -Come on!
    , 你就有话直说吧 Just rip the Band-Aid off!
    , 行行行 Okay!
    , Kiara 我跟你说我的孩子们是狭隘的种族主义者 Kiara, when I told you my kids were bigoted racists
    , 坚决要我跟你分手的时候 who were demanding I break up with you,
    , 我撒谎了 I lied
    , 要是有人该被用念力掐死 If anybody deserves to be telekinetically strangled,
    , 该是我 it’s me
    , 我是那个想分手的人 I’m the one who wants to break up
    , 我 我不是个邪恶的人 — I’m not an evil person
    , 我又懒 又懦弱 I’m lazy, I’m cowardly,
    , 而且 而且我也不知道我在干嘛 and — and I do not know what I’m doing
    , 你看 我让某个人在 岁的时候就怀孕了 Look, I got someone pregnant at
    , 我们正在办理离婚手续 这些都不是我故意造成的 We’re getting a divorce None of this is on purpose
    , 我对能和酷的人约会很兴奋 I was excited to date someone cool
    , 因为这能让我的前妻注意到我 because it would make my ex notice me
    , 我对人类是彻底失望了 I would expect nothing less from humanity —
    , 人类就是自私的 爱操纵别人的 不诚实的物种 a selfish, manipulative, dishonest species that —
    , - Kiara吗 - Trandor -Kiara? -Trandor!
    , 你在这儿干什么 What are you doing here?
    , 就 狩猎啊 Just hunting
    , 你真的指望我相信 Do you really expect me to believe
    , 这和我们之间的事情无关吗 it has nothing to do with us?
    , 你明知道地球是我的地盘 You knew Earth was my domain
    , 我不喜欢你的弦外之音 I don’t like what you’re insinuating
    , - 爸 我们能走了吗 - 等一下 -Dad, can we go now? -Hold on a second
    , 我现在觉得我才是备胎 I’m starting to get the feeling that I was the rebound
    , 爸 刚有人从天而降为你解围 Dad, you just got handed an ex machina
    , 你就接受吧 You’re taking it
    , Varrix的巢穴遍布 个星系 Varrix nests spread across galaxies,
    , 你就恰好选了这个行星来捕猎吗 and you just happened to pick this planet to hunt?
    , 扯得跟蛇怪似的 完全是蛇怪扯 That’s Gorgon shit — total Gorgon shit!
    , 我们到家啦 We’re home!
    , - 嘿 回来啦 - 晚饭吃什么啊 -Hey, guys! -What’s for dinner?
    , - Jerry家怎么样 - 老样子 -How was Jerry’s? -The usual
    , - 我们能吃披萨吗 - 听起来棒极了 -Can we have pizza? -Pizza sounds great
    , 嘿 Rick 你知道我爸正在和一个外星人约会吗 Hey, Rick, did you know my dad was dating an alien?
    , 不知道 真恶心 替那个外星人恶心 No Gross For the alien
    , 真扫兴 我觉得阿纳尔多披萨店关门了 Aw, crap, I think Arnaldo’s is closed
    , 你们确定想吃披萨吗 Are you guys sure you want pizza?
    , 阿纳尔多披萨店在那个 Arnaldo’s isn’t closed in the dimension
    , 没发明夏令时的次元没关门哦 where they didn’t invent Daylight Savings!
    , 我们没有你可怎么办啊 我爱你 爸爸 What would we do without you? I love you, Dad
    , 我也爱你 宝贝 Love you, too, sweetie
    , 对了 这不是时间旅行 By the way, that wasn’t time travel
    , 就是在柜台上有些披萨 There were just a couple pizzas on the counter
    , 我就拿过来了 I grabbed them
    , 嘿 Jerry 我是Kiara -[ Beep] -Hey, Jerry, it’s Kiara
    , 听着 我男朋友看见了那些你给我发的短信 Listen, my boyfriend saw those texts you’ve been sending me,
    , 然后他特别生气 and he got pretty pissed off
    , 如果他打给你 忽略他就好了 If he calls you, just ignore him!
    , 我是Carmox This is Carmox
    , 我截获了你和我的新女友Kiara I have intercepted sexual communications
    , 之间的挑逗短信 between you and my new girlfriend, Kiara
    , 我现在要去杀了你 -l am coming to kill you now! -[ Beep]
    , 呦 Jerry 我是老R RICK Yo, Jerry, it’s the Big R
    , 我杀了那个要来追杀你的外星人 Uh, I killed that alien that was coming after ya
    , 为你保驾护航哦 兄弟 -Looking out for ya, buddy -[ Beep]
    , 嘿 Jerry 我是Rick Hey, Jerry, it’s Rick
    , 别生气我上了你的前女友Kiara Don’t be mad I fucked your ex-girifriend Kiara
    , 你在跟谁说话 Rick KIARA Who are you talking to, Rick?
    , 不重要 Doesn’t matter -[ Beep]
    , 嘿 Jerry 我是Michael Hey, Jerry, this is Michael
    , 古董电话租赁的员工 down at The Antique Phone rentals
    , 额 我不打算再追究了 也不打算要回 Urn, I’m gonna go ahead and let you off the hook
    , 你七十美元的滞纳金了 for the $ late fee
    , 你可以继续留着那个答录机 You can go ahead and keep that answering machine
    , 反正现在基本也没人用这个了 Nobody really uses those anymore
    , 除非是电视节目上的展示环节 except for exposition on TV shows, anyways