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[Transcriber’s note: The spelling irregularities of the original have been retained in this etext.]

  1. INCIDENTS<br />
  2. IN THE<br />
  3. LIFE OF A SLAVE GIRL.
  4. Northerners know nothing at all about Slavery. They think it is perpetual
  5. bondage only. They have no conception of the depth of
  6. involved in that word, SLAVERY; if they had, they would never cease their
  7. efforts until so horrible a system was overthrown.”
  8. <br />
  9. A Woman Of North Carolina.
  10. <br />
  11. Rise up, ye women that are at ease! Hear my voice, ye careless daughters!
  12. Give ear unto my speech.”
  13. <br />
  14. Isaiah xxxii. 9.
  15. <br />
  16. Edited By L. Maria Child.
  17. <br />
  18. Boston: Published For The Author.

CONTENTS

  1. [ PREFACE BY THE AUTHOR ](#link2H_PREF)
  2. <br />
  3. [ INTRODUCTION BY THE EDITOR ](#link2H_INTR)
  4. <br />
  5. [ INCIDENTS IN THE LIFE OF A SLAVE GIRL ](#link2H_4_0004)
  6. <br />
  7. [ I. Childhood ](#link2H_4_0005)
  8. <br />
  9. [ II. The New Master And Mistress. ](#link2H_4_0006)
  10. <br />
  11. [ III. The Slaves New Years Day. ](#link2H_4_0007)
  12. <br />
  13. [ IV. The Slave Who Dared To Feel Like A Man. ](#link2H_4_0008)
  14. <br />
  15. [ V. The Trials Of Girlhood. ](#link2H_4_0009)
  16. <br />
  17. [ VI. The Jealous Mistress. ](#link2H_4_0010)
  18. <br />
  19. [ VII. The Lover. ](#link2H_4_0011)
  20. <br />
  21. [ VIII. What Slaves Are Taught To Think Of The
  22. North. ](#link2H_4_0012)
  23. <br />
  24. [ IX. Sketches Of Neighboring Slaveholders. ](#link2H_4_0013)
  25. <br />
  26. [ X. A Perilous Passage In The Slave Girls Life.
  27. ](#link2H_4_0014)
  28. <br />
  29. [ XI. The New Tie To Life. ](#link2H_4_0015)
  30. <br />
  31. [ XII. Fear Of Insurrection. ](#link2H_4_0016)
  32. <br />
  33. [ XIII. The Church And Slavery. ](#link2H_4_0017)
  34. <br />
  35. [ XIV. Another Link To Life. ](#link2H_4_0018)
  36. <br />
  37. [ XV. Continued Persecutions. ](#link2H_4_0019)
  38. <br />
  39. [ XVI. Scenes At The Plantation. ](#link2H_4_0020)
  40. <br />
  41. [ XVII. The Flight. ](#link2H_4_0021)
  42. <br />
  43. [ XVIII. Months Of Peril. ](#link2H_4_0022)
  44. <br />
  45. [ XIX. The Children Sold. ](#link2H_4_0023)
  46. <br />
  47. [ XX. New Perils. ](#link2H_4_0024)
  48. <br />
  49. [ XXI. The Loophole Of Retreat. ](#link2H_4_0025)
  50. <br />
  51. [ XXII. Christmas Festivities. ](#link2H_4_0026)
  52. <br />
  53. [ XXIII. Still In Prison. ](#link2H_4_0027)
  54. <br />
  55. [ XXIV. The Candidate For Congress. ](#link2H_4_0028)
  56. <br />
  57. [ XXV. Competition In Cunning. ](#link2H_4_0029)
  58. <br />
  59. [ XXVI. Important Era In My Brothers Life. ](#link2H_4_0030)
  60. <br />
  61. [ XXVII. New Destination For The Children. ](#link2H_4_0031)
  62. <br />
  63. [ XXVIII. Aunt Nancy. ](#link2H_4_0032)
  64. <br />
  65. [ XXIX. Preparations For Escape. ](#link2H_4_0033)
  66. <br />
  67. [ XXX. Northward Bound. ](#link2H_4_0034)
  68. <br />
  69. [ XXXI. Incidents In Philadelphia. ](#link2H_4_0035)
  70. <br />
  71. [ XXXII. The Meeting Of Mother And Daughter. ](#link2H_4_0036)
  72. <br />
  73. [ XXXIII. A Home Found. ](#link2H_4_0037)
  74. <br />
  75. [ XXXIV. The Old Enemy Again. ](#link2H_4_0038)
  76. <br />
  77. [ XXXV. Prejudice Against Color. ](#link2H_4_0039)
  78. <br />
  79. [ XXXVI. The Hairbreadth Escape. ](#link2H_4_0040)
  80. <br />
  81. [ XXXVII. A Visit To England ](#link2H_4_0041)
  82. <br />
  83. [ XXXVIII. Renewed Invitations To Go South. ](#link2H_4_0042)
  84. <br />
  85. [ XXXIX. The Confession. ](#link2H_4_0043)
  86. <br />
  87. [ XL. The Fugitive Slave Law. ](#link2H_4_0044)
  88. <br />
  89. [ XLI. Free At Last. ](#link2H_4_0045)
  90. <br />
  91. [ APPENDIX. ](#link2H_APPE)
  92. <br />

  1. [ ]()

  1. PREFACE BY THE AUTHOR
  2. Reader be assured this narrative is no fiction. I am aware that some of my
  3. adventures may seem incredible; but they are, nevertheless, strictly true.
  4. I have not exaggerated the wrongs inflicted by Slavery; on the contrary,
  5. my descriptions fall far short of the facts. I have concealed the names of
  6. places, and given persons fictitious names. I had no motive for secrecy on
  7. my own account, but I deemed it kind and considerate towards others to
  8. pursue this course.
  9. <br />
  10. I wish I were more competent to the task I have undertaken. But I trust my
  11. readers will excuse deficiencies in consideration of circumstances. I was
  12. born and reared in Slavery; and I remained in a Slave State twenty-seven
  13. years. Since I have been at the North, it has been necessary for me to
  14. work diligently for my own support, and the education of my children. This
  15. has not left me much leisure to make up for the loss of early
  16. opportunities to improve myself; and it has compelled me to write these
  17. pages at irregular intervals, whenever I could snatch an hour from
  18. household duties.
  19. <br />
  20. When I first arrived in Philadelphia, Bishop Paine advised me to publish a
  21. sketch of my life, but I told him I was altogether incompetent to such an
  22. undertaking. Though I have improved my mind somewhat since that time, I
  23. still remain of the same opinion; but I trust my motives will excuse what
  24. might otherwise seem presumptuous. I have not written my experiences in
  25. order to attract attention to myself; on the contrary, it would have been
  26. more pleasant to me to have been silent about my own history. Neither do I
  27. care to excite sympathy for my own sufferings. But I do earnestly desire
  28. to arouse the women of the North to a realizing sense of the condition of
  29. two millions of women at the South, still in bondage, suffering what I
  30. suffered, and most of them far worse. I want to add my testimony to that
  31. of abler pens to convince the people of the Free States what Slavery
  32. really is. Only by experience can any one realize how deep, and dark, and
  33. foul is that pit of abominations. May the blessing of God rest on this
  34. imperfect effort in behalf of my persecuted people!
  35. <br />
  36. <br />

  1. [ ]()

  1. INTRODUCTION BY THE EDITOR
  2. The author of the following autobiography is personally known to me, and
  3. her conversation and manners inspire me with confidence. During the last
  4. seventeen years, she has lived the greater part of the time with a
  5. distinguished family in New York, and has so deported herself as to be
  6. highly esteemed by them. This fact is sufficient, without further
  7. credentials of her character. I believe those who know her will not be
  8. disposed to doubt her veracity, though some incidents in her story are
  9. more romantic than fiction.
  10. <br />
  11. At her request, I have revised her manuscript; but such changes as I have
  12. made have been mainly for purposes of condensation and orderly
  13. arrangement. I have not added any thing to the incidents, or changed the
  14. import of her very pertinent remarks. With trifling exceptions, both the
  15. ideas and the language are her own. I pruned excrescences a little, but
  16. otherwise I had no reason for changing her lively and dramatic way of
  17. telling her own story. The names of both persons and places are known to
  18. me; but for good reasons I suppress them.
  19. <br />
  20. It will naturally excite surprise that a woman reared in Slavery should be
  21. able to write so well. But circumstances will explain this. In the first
  22. place, nature endowed her with quick perceptions. Secondly, the mistress,
  23. with whom she lived till she was twelve years old, was a kind, considerate
  24. friend, who taught her to read and spell. Thirdly, she was placed in
  25. favorable circumstances after she came to the North; having frequent
  26. intercourse with intelligent persons, who felt a friendly interest in her
  27. welfare, and were disposed to give her opportunities for self-improvement.
  28. <br />
  29. I am well aware that many will accuse me of indecorum for presenting these
  30. pages to the public; for the experiences of this intelligent and
  31. much-injured woman belong to a class which some call delicate subjects,
  32. and others indelicate. This peculiar phase of Slavery has generally been
  33. kept veiled; but the public ought to be made acquainted with its monstrous
  34. features, and I willingly take the responsibility of presenting them with
  35. the veil withdrawn. I do this for the sake of my sisters in bondage, who
  36. are suffering wrongs so foul, that our ears are too delicate to listen to
  37. them. I do it with the hope of arousing conscientious and reflecting women
  38. at the North to a sense of their duty in the exertion of moral influence
  39. on the question of Slavery, on all possible occasions. I do it with the
  40. hope that every man who reads this narrative will swear solemnly before
  41. God that, so far as he has power to prevent it, no fugitive from Slavery
  42. shall ever be sent back to suffer in that loathsome den of corruption and
  43. cruelty.
  44. <br />
  45. <br />

  1. [ ]()

IN THE



  1. [ ]()

  1. I. Childhood
  2. I was born a slave; but I never knew it till six years of happy childhood
  3. had passed away. My father was a carpenter, and considered so intelligent
  4. and skilful in his trade, that, when buildings out of the common line were
  5. to be erected, he was sent for from long distances, to be head workman. On
  6. condition of paying his mistress two hundred dollars a year, and
  7. supporting himself, he was allowed to work at his trade, and manage his
  8. own affairs. His strongest wish was to purchase his children; but, though
  9. he several times offered his hard earnings for that purpose, he never
  10. succeeded. In complexion my parents were a light shade of brownish yellow,
  11. and were termed mulattoes. They lived together in a comfortable home; and,
  12. though we were all slaves, I was so fondly shielded that I never dreamed I
  13. was a piece of merchandise, trusted to them for safe keeping, and liable
  14. to be demanded of them at any moment. I had one brother, William, who was
  15. two years younger than myselfa bright, affectionate child. I had
  16. also a great treasure in my maternal grandmother, who was a remarkable
  17. woman in many respects. She was the daughter of a planter in South
  18. Carolina, who, at his death, left her mother and his three children free,
  19. with money to go to St. Augustine, where they had relatives. It was during
  20. the Revolutionary War; and they were captured on their passage, carried
  21. back, and sold to different purchasers. Such was the story my grandmother
  22. used to tell me; but I do not remember all the particulars. She was a
  23. little girl when she was captured and sold to the keeper of a large hotel.
  24. I have often heard her tell how hard she fared during childhood. But as
  25. she grew older she evinced so much intelligence, and was so faithful, that
  26. her master and mistress could not help seeing it was for their interest to
  27. take care of such a valuable piece of property. She became an
  28. indispensable personage in the household, officiating in all capacities,
  29. from cook and wet nurse to seamstress. She was much praised for her
  30. cooking; and her nice crackers became so famous in the neighborhood that
  31. many people were desirous of obtaining them. In consequence of numerous
  32. requests of this kind, she asked permission of her mistress to bake
  33. crackers at night, after all the household work was done; and she obtained
  34. leave to do it, provided she would clothe herself and her children from
  35. the profits. Upon these terms, after working hard all day for her
  36. mistress, she began her midnight bakings, assisted by her two oldest
  37. children. The business proved profitable; and each year she laid by a
  38. little, which was saved for a fund to purchase her children. Her master
  39. died, and the property was divided among his heirs. The widow had her
  40. dower in the hotel which she continued to keep open. My grandmother
  41. remained in her service as a slave; but her children were divided among
  42. her masters children. As she had five, Benjamin, the youngest one, was
  43. sold, in order that each heir might have an equal portion of dollars and
  44. cents. There was so little difference in our ages that he seemed more like
  45. my brother than my uncle. He was a bright, handsome lad, nearly white; for
  46. he inherited the complexion my grandmother had derived from Anglo-Saxon
  47. ancestors. Though only ten years old, seven hundred and twenty dollars
  48. were paid for him. His sale was a terrible blow to my grandmother, but she
  49. was naturally hopeful, and she went to work with renewed energy, trusting
  50. in time to be able to purchase some of her children. She had laid up three
  51. hundred dollars, which her mistress one day begged as a loan, promising to
  52. pay her soon. The reader probably knows that no promise or writing given
  53. to a slave is legally binding; for, according to Southern laws, a slave,
  54. property, can no property. When my grandmother
  55. lent her hard earnings to her mistress, she trusted solely to her honor.
  56. The honor of a slaveholder to a slave!
  57. <br />
  58. To this good grandmother I was indebted for many comforts. My brother
  59. Willie and I often received portions of the crackers, cakes, and
  60. preserves, she made to sell; and after we ceased to be children we were
  61. indebted to her for many more important services.
  62. <br />
  63. Such were the unusually fortunate circumstances of my early childhood.
  64. When I was six years old, my mother died; and then, for the first time, I
  65. learned, by the talk around me, that I was a slave. My mothers mistress
  66. was the daughter of my grandmothers mistress. She was the foster-sister
  67. of my mother; they were both nourished at my grandmothers breast. In
  68. fact, my mother had been weaned at three months old, that the babe of the
  69. mistress might obtain sufficient food. They played together as children;
  70. and, when they became women, my mother was a most faithful servant to her
  71. whiter foster sister. On her death-bed her mistress promised that her
  72. children should never suffer for any thing; and during her lifetime she
  73. kept her word. They all spoke kindly of my dead mother, who had been a
  74. slave merely in name, but in nature was noble and womanly. I grieved for
  75. her, and my young mind was troubled with the thought who would now take
  76. care of me and my little brother. I was told that my home was now to be
  77. with her mistress; and I found it a happy one. No toilsome or disagreeable
  78. duties were imposed on me. My mistress was so kind to me that I was always
  79. glad to do her bidding, and proud to labor for her as much as my young
  80. years would permit. I would sit by her side for hours, sewing diligently,
  81. with a heart as free from care as that of any free-born white child. When
  82. she thought I was tired, she would send me out to run and jump; and away I
  83. bounded, to gather berries or flowers to decorate her room. Those were
  84. happy daystoo happy to last. The slave child had no thought for the
  85. morrow; but there came that blight, which too surely waits on every human
  86. being born to be a chattel.
  87. <br />
  88. When I was nearly twelve years old, my kind mistress sickened and died. As
  89. I saw the cheek grow paler, and the eye more glassy, how earnestly I
  90. prayed in my heart that she might live! I loved her; for she had been
  91. almost like a mother to me. My prayers were not answered. She died, and
  92. they buried her in the little churchyard, where, day after day, my tears
  93. fell upon her grave.
  94. <br />
  95. I was sent to spend a week with my grandmother. I was now old enough to
  96. begin to think of the future; and again and again I asked myself what they
  97. would do with me. I felt sure I should never find another mistress so kind
  98. as the one who was gone. She had promised my dying mother that her
  99. children should never suffer for any thing; and when I remembered that,
  100. and recalled her many proofs of attachment to me, I could not help having
  101. some hopes that she had left me free. My friends were almost certain it
  102. would be so. They thought she would be sure to do it, on account of my
  103. mothers love and faithful service. But, alas! we all know that the memory
  104. of a faithful slave does not avail much to save her children from the
  105. auction block.
  106. <br />
  107. After a brief period of suspense, the will of my mistress was read, and we
  108. learned that she had bequeathed me to her sisters daughter, a child of
  109. five years old. So vanished our hopes. My mistress had taught me the
  110. precepts of Gods Word: Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.”
  111. Whatsoever ye would that men should do unto you, do ye even so unto
  112. them.” But I was her slave, and I suppose she did not recognize me as her
  113. neighbor. I would give much to blot out from my memory that one great
  114. wrong. As a child, I loved my mistress; and, looking back on the happy
  115. days I spent with her, I try to think with less bitterness of this act of
  116. injustice. While I was with her, she taught me to read and spell; and for
  117. this privilege, which so rarely falls to the lot of a slave, I bless her
  118. memory.
  119. <br />
  120. She possessed but few slaves; and at her death those were all distributed
  121. among her relatives. Five of them were my grandmothers children, and had
  122. shared the same milk that nourished her mothers children. Notwithstanding
  123. my grandmothers long and faithful service to her owners, not one of her
  124. children escaped the auction block. These God-breathing machines are no
  125. more, in the sight of their masters, than the cotton they plant, or the
  126. horses they tend.
  127. <br />

  1. [ ]()

  1. II. The New Master And Mistress.
  2. Dr. Flint, a physician in the neighborhood, had married the sister of my
  3. mistress, and I was now the property of their little daughter. It was not
  4. without murmuring that I prepared for my new home; and what added to my
  5. unhappiness, was the fact that my brother William was purchased by the
  6. same family. My father, by his nature, as well as by the habit of
  7. transacting business as a skillful mechanic, had more of the feelings of a
  8. freeman than is common among slaves. My brother was a spirited boy; and
  9. being brought up under such influences, he daily detested the name of
  10. master and mistress. One day, when his father and his mistress both
  11. happened to call him at the same time, he hesitated between the two; being
  12. perplexed to know which had the strongest claim upon his obedience. He
  13. finally concluded to go to his mistress. When my father reproved him for
  14. it, he said, You both called me, and I didnt know which I ought to go to
  15. first.”
  16. <br />
  17. You are child,” replied our father, and when I call you, you
  18. should come immediately, if you have to pass through fire and water.”
  19. <br />
  20. Poor Willie! He was now to learn his first lesson of obedience to a
  21. master. Grandmother tried to cheer us with hopeful words, and they found
  22. an echo in the credulous hearts of youth.
  23. <br />
  24. When we entered our new home we encountered cold looks, cold words, and
  25. cold treatment. We were glad when the night came. On my narrow bed I
  26. moaned and wept, I felt so desolate and alone.
  27. <br />
  28. I had been there nearly a year, when a dear little friend of mine was
  29. buried. I heard her mother sob, as the clods fell on the coffin of her
  30. only child, and I turned away from the grave, feeling thankful that I
  31. still had something left to love. I met my grandmother, who said, Come
  32. with me, Linda;” and from her tone I knew that something sad had happened.
  33. She led me apart from the people, and then said, My child, your father is
  34. dead.” Dead! How could I believe it? He had died so suddenly I had not
  35. even heard that he was sick. I went home with my grandmother. My heart
  36. rebelled against God, who had taken from me mother, father, mistress, and
  37. friend. The good grandmother tried to comfort me. Who knows the ways of
  38. God?” said she. Perhaps they have been kindly taken from the evil days to
  39. come.” Years afterwards I often thought of this. She promised to be a
  40. mother to her grandchildren, so far as she might be permitted to do so;
  41. and strengthened by her love, I returned to my masters. I thought I
  42. should be allowed to go to my fathers house the next morning; but I was
  43. ordered to go for flowers, that my mistresss house might be decorated for
  44. an evening party. I spent the day gathering flowers and weaving them into
  45. festoons, while the dead body of my father was lying within a mile of me.
  46. What cared my owners for that? he was merely a piece of property.
  47. Moreover, they thought he had spoiled his children, by teaching them to
  48. feel that they were human beings. This was blasphemous doctrine for a
  49. slave to teach; presumptuous in him, and dangerous to the masters.
  50. <br />
  51. The next day I followed his remains to a humble grave beside that of my
  52. dear mother. There were those who knew my fathers worth, and respected
  53. his memory.
  54. <br />
  55. My home now seemed more dreary than ever. The laugh of the little
  56. slave-children sounded harsh and cruel. It was selfish to feel so about
  57. the joy of others. My brother moved about with a very grave face. I tried
  58. to comfort him, by saying, Take courage, Willie; brighter days will come
  59. by and by.”
  60. <br />
  61. You dont know any thing about it, Linda,” he replied. We shall have to
  62. stay here all our days; we shall never be free.”
  63. <br />
  64. I argued that we were growing older and stronger, and that perhaps we
  65. might, before long, be allowed to hire our own time, and then we could
  66. earn money to buy our freedom. William declared this was much easier to
  67. say than to do; moreover, he did not intend to his freedom. We
  68. held daily controversies upon this subject.
  69. <br />
  70. Little attention was paid to the slaves meals in Dr. Flints house. If
  71. they could catch a bit of food while it was going, well and good. I gave
  72. myself no trouble on that score, for on my various errands I passed my
  73. grandmothers house, where there was always something to spare for me. I
  74. was frequently threatened with punishment if I stopped there; and my
  75. grandmother, to avoid detaining me, often stood at the gate with something
  76. for my breakfast or dinner. I was indebted to for all my
  77. comforts, spiritual or temporal. It was labor that supplied my
  78. scanty wardrobe. I have a vivid recollection of the linsey-woolsey dress
  79. given me every winter by Mrs. Flint. How I hated it! It was one of the
  80. badges of slavery.
  81. <br />
  82. While my grandmother was thus helping to support me from her hard
  83. earnings, the three hundred dollars she had lent her mistress were never
  84. repaid. When her mistress died, her son-in-law, Dr. Flint, was appointed
  85. executor. When grandmother applied to him for payment, he said the estate
  86. was insolvent, and the law prohibited payment. It did not, however,
  87. prohibit him from retaining the silver candelabra, which had been
  88. purchased with that money. I presume they will be handed down in the
  89. family, from generation to generation.
  90. <br />
  91. My grandmothers mistress had always promised her that, at her death, she
  92. should be free; and it was said that in her will she made good the
  93. promise. But when the estate was settled, Dr. Flint told the faithful old
  94. servant that, under existing circumstances, it was necessary she should be
  95. sold.
  96. <br />
  97. On the appointed day, the customary advertisement was posted up,
  98. proclaiming that there would be a public sale of negroes, horses, &c.”
  99. Dr. Flint called to tell my grandmother that he was unwilling to wound her
  100. feelings by putting her up at auction, and that he would prefer to dispose
  101. of her at private sale. My grandmother saw through his hypocrisy; she
  102. understood very well that he was ashamed of the job. She was a very
  103. spirited woman, and if he was base enough to sell her, when her mistress
  104. intended she should be free, she was determined the public should know it.
  105. She had for a long time supplied many families with crackers and
  106. preserves; consequently, Aunt Marthy,” as she was called, was generally
  107. known, and every body who knew her respected her intelligence and good
  108. character. Her long and faithful service in the family was also well
  109. known, and the intention of her mistress to leave her free. When the day
  110. of sale came, she took her place among the chattels, and at the first call
  111. she sprang upon the auction block. Many voices called out, Shame! Shame!
  112. Who is going to sell , aunt Marthy? Dont stand there! That is
  113. no place for .” Without saying a word, she quietly awaited her
  114. fate. No one bid for her. At last, a feeble voice said, Fifty dollars.”
  115. It came from a maiden lady, seventy years old, the sister of my
  116. grandmothers deceased mistress. She had lived forty years under the same
  117. roof with my grandmother; she knew how faithfully she had served her
  118. owners, and how cruelly she had been defrauded of her rights; and she
  119. resolved to protect her. The auctioneer waited for a higher bid; but her
  120. wishes were respected; no one bid above her. She could neither read nor
  121. write; and when the bill of sale was made out, she signed it with a cross.
  122. But what consequence was that, when she had a big heart overflowing with
  123. human kindness? She gave the old servant her freedom.
  124. <br />
  125. At that time, my grandmother was just fifty years old. Laborious years had
  126. passed since then; and now my brother and I were slaves to the man who had
  127. defrauded her of her money, and tried to defraud her of her freedom. One
  128. of my mothers sisters, called Aunt Nancy, was also a slave in his family.
  129. She was a kind, good aunt to me; and supplied the place of both
  130. housekeeper and waiting maid to her mistress. She was, in fact, at the
  131. beginning and end of every thing.
  132. <br />
  133. Mrs. Flint, like many southern women, was totally deficient in energy. She
  134. had not strength to superintend her household affairs; but her nerves were
  135. so strong, that she could sit in her easy chair and see a woman whipped,
  136. till the blood trickled from every stroke of the lash. She was a member of
  137. the church; but partaking of the Lords supper did not seem to put her in
  138. a Christian frame of mind. If dinner was not served at the exact time on
  139. that particular Sunday, she would station herself in the kitchen, and wait
  140. till it was dished, and then spit in all the kettles and pans that had
  141. been used for cooking. She did this to prevent the cook and her children
  142. from eking out their meagre fare with the remains of the gravy and other
  143. scrapings. The slaves could get nothing to eat except what she chose to
  144. give them. Provisions were weighed out by the pound and ounce, three times
  145. a day. I can assure you she gave them no chance to eat wheat bread from
  146. her flour barrel. She knew how many biscuits a quart of flour would make,
  147. and exactly what size they ought to be.
  148. <br />
  149. Dr. Flint was an epicure. The cook never sent a dinner to his table
  150. without fear and trembling; for if there happened to be a dish not to his
  151. liking, he would either order her to be whipped, or compel her to eat
  152. every mouthful of it in his presence. The poor, hungry creature might not
  153. have objected to eating it; but she did object to having her master cram
  154. it down her throat till she choked.
  155. <br />
  156. They had a pet dog, that was a nuisance in the house. The cook was ordered
  157. to make some Indian mush for him. He refused to eat, and when his head was
  158. held over it, the froth flowed from his mouth into the basin. He died a
  159. few minutes after. When Dr. Flint came in, he said the mush had not been
  160. well cooked, and that was the reason the animal would not eat it. He sent
  161. for the cook, and compelled her to eat it. He thought that the womans
  162. stomach was stronger than the dogs; but her sufferings afterwards proved
  163. that he was mistaken. This poor woman endured many cruelties from her
  164. master and mistress; sometimes she was locked up, away from her nursing
  165. baby, for a whole day and night.
  166. <br />
  167. When I had been in the family a few weeks, one of the plantation slaves
  168. was brought to town, by order of his master. It was near night when he
  169. arrived, and Dr. Flint ordered him to be taken to the work house, and tied
  170. up to the joist, so that his feet would just escape the ground. In that
  171. situation he was to wait till the doctor had taken his tea. I shall never
  172. forget that night. Never before, in my life, had I heard hundreds of blows
  173. fall; in succession, on a human being. His piteous groans, and his O,
  174. pray dont, massa,” rang in my ear for months afterwards. There were many
  175. conjectures as to the cause of this terrible punishment. Some said master
  176. accused him of stealing corn; others said the slave had quarrelled with
  177. his wife, in presence of the overseer, and had accused his master of being
  178. the father of her child. They were both black, and the child was very
  179. fair.
  180. <br />
  181. I went into the work house next morning, and saw the cowhide still wet
  182. with blood, and the boards all covered with gore. The poor man lived, and
  183. continued to quarrel with his wife. A few months afterwards Dr. Flint
  184. handed them both over to a slave-trader. The guilty man put their value
  185. into his pocket, and had the satisfaction of knowing that they were out of
  186. sight and hearing. When the mother was delivered into the traders hands,
  187. she said. You to treat me well.” To which he replied,
  188. You have let your tongue run too far; damn you!” She had forgotten that
  189. it was a crime for a slave to tell who was the father of her child.
  190. <br />
  191. From others than the master persecution also comes in such cases. I once
  192. saw a young slave girl dying soon after the birth of a child nearly white.
  193. In her agony she cried out, O Lord, come and take me!” Her mistress stood
  194. by, and mocked at her like an incarnate fiend. You suffer, do you?” she
  195. exclaimed. I am glad of it. You deserve it all, and more too.”
  196. <br />
  197. The girls mother said, The baby is dead, thank God; and I hope my poor
  198. child will soon be in heaven, too.”
  199. <br />
  200. Heaven!” retorted the mistress. There is no such place for the like of
  201. her and her bastard.”
  202. <br />
  203. The poor mother turned away, sobbing. Her dying daughter called her,
  204. feebly, and as she bent over her, I heard her say, Dont grieve so,
  205. mother; God knows all about it; and HE will have mercy upon me.”
  206. <br />
  207. Her sufferings, afterwards, became so intense, that her mistress felt
  208. unable to stay; but when she left the room, the scornful smile was still
  209. on her lips. Seven children called her mother. The poor black woman had
  210. but the one child, whose eyes she saw closing in death, while she thanked
  211. God for taking her away from the greater bitterness of life.
  212. <br />

  1. [ ]()

  1. III. The Slaves New Years Day.
  2. Dr. Flint owned a fine residence in town, several farms, and about fifty
  3. slaves, besides hiring a number by the year.
  4. <br />
  5. Hiring day at the south takes place on the 1st of January. On the 2d, the
  6. slaves are expected to go to their new masters. On a farm, they work until
  7. the corn and cotton are laid. They then have two holidays. Some masters
  8. give them a good dinner under the trees. This over, they work until
  9. Christmas eve. If no heavy charges are meantime brought against them, they
  10. are given four or five holidays, whichever the master or overseer may
  11. think proper. Then comes New Years eve; and they gather together their
  12. little alls, or more properly speaking, their little nothings, and wait
  13. anxiously for the dawning of day. At the appointed hour the grounds are
  14. thronged with men, women, and children, waiting, like criminals, to hear
  15. their doom pronounced. The slave is sure to know who is the most humane,
  16. or cruel master, within forty miles of him.
  17. <br />
  18. It is easy to find out, on that day, who clothes and feeds his slaves
  19. well; for he is surrounded by a crowd, begging, Please, massa, hire me
  20. this year. I will work hard, massa.”
  21. <br />
  22. If a slave is unwilling to go with his new master, he is whipped, or
  23. locked up in jail, until he consents to go, and promises not to run away
  24. during the year. Should he chance to change his mind, thinking it
  25. justifiable to violate an extorted promise, woe unto him if he is caught!
  26. The whip is used till the blood flows at his feet; and his stiffened limbs
  27. are put in chains, to be dragged in the field for days and days!
  28. <br />
  29. If he lives until the next year, perhaps the same man will hire him again,
  30. without even giving him an opportunity of going to the hiring-ground.
  31. After those for hire are disposed of, those for sale are called up.
  32. <br />
  33. O, you happy free women, contrast New Years day with that of
  34. the poor bondwoman! With you it is a pleasant season, and the light of
  35. the day is blessed. Friendly wishes meet you every where, and gifts are
  36. showered upon you. Even hearts that have been estranged from you soften at
  37. this season, and lips that have been silent echo back, I wish you a happy
  38. New Year.” Children bring their little offerings, and raise their rosy
  39. lips for a caress. They are your own, and no hand but that of death can
  40. take them from you.
  41. <br />
  42. But to the slave mother New Years day comes laden with peculiar sorrows.
  43. She sits on her cold cabin floor, watching the children who may all be
  44. torn from her the next morning; and often does she wish that she and they
  45. might die before the day dawns. She may be an ignorant creature, degraded
  46. by the system that has brutalized her from childhood; but she has a
  47. mothers instincts, and is capable of feeling a mothers agonies.
  48. <br />
  49. On one of these sale days, I saw a mother lead seven children to the
  50. auction block. She knew that of them would be taken from her;
  51. but they took . The children were sold to a slave-trader, and
  52. their mother was bought by a man in her own town. Before night her
  53. children were all far away. She begged the trader to tell her where he
  54. intended to take them; this he refused to do. How he, when he
  55. knew he would sell them, one by one, wherever he could command the highest
  56. price? I met that mother in the street, and her wild, haggard face lives
  57. to-day in my mind. She wrung her hands in anguish, and exclaimed, Gone!
  58. All gone! Why God kill me?” I had no words wherewith to
  59. comfort her. Instances of this kind are of daily, yea, of hourly
  60. occurrence.
  61. <br />
  62. Slaveholders have a method, peculiar to their institution, of getting rid
  63. of slaves, whose lives have been worn out in their service. I
  64. knew an old woman, who for seventy years faithfully served her master. She
  65. had become almost helpless, from hard labor and disease. Her owners moved
  66. to Alabama, and the old black woman was left to be sold to any body who
  67. would give twenty dollars for her.
  68. <br />

  1. [ ]()

  1. IV. The Slave Who Dared To Feel Like A Man.
  2. Two years had passed since I entered Dr. Flints family, and those years
  3. had brought much of the knowledge that comes from experience, though they
  4. had afforded little opportunity for any other kinds of knowledge.
  5. <br />
  6. My grandmother had, as much as possible, been a mother to her orphan
  7. grandchildren. By perseverance and unwearied industry, she was now
  8. mistress of a snug little home, surrounded with the necessaries of life.
  9. She would have been happy could her children have shared them with her.
  10. There remained but three children and two grandchildren, all slaves. Most
  11. earnestly did she strive to make us feel that it was the will of God: that
  12. He had seen fit to place us under such circumstances; and though it seemed
  13. hard, we ought to pray for contentment.
  14. <br />
  15. It was a beautiful faith, coming from a mother who could not call her
  16. children her own. But I, and Benjamin, her youngest boy, condemned it. We
  17. reasoned that it was much more the will of God that we should be situated
  18. as she was. We longed for a home like hers. There we always found sweet
  19. balsam for our troubles. She was so loving, so sympathizing! She always
  20. met us with a smile, and listened with patience to all our sorrows. She
  21. spoke so hopefully, that unconsciously the clouds gave place to sunshine.
  22. There was a grand big oven there, too, that baked bread and nice things
  23. for the town, and we knew there was always a choice bit in store for us.
  24. <br />
  25. But, alas! Even the charms of the old oven failed to reconcile us to our
  26. hard lot. Benjamin was now a tall, handsome lad, strongly and gracefully
  27. made, and with a spirit too bold and daring for a slave. My brother
  28. William, now twelve years old, had the same aversion to the word master
  29. that he had when he was an urchin of seven years. I was his confidant. He
  30. came to me with all his troubles. I remember one instance in particular.
  31. It was on a lovely spring morning, and when I marked the sunlight dancing
  32. here and there, its beauty seemed to mock my sadness. For my master, whose
  33. restless, craving, vicious nature roved about day and night, seeking whom
  34. to devour, had just left me, with stinging, scorching words; words that
  35. scathed ear and brain like fire. O, how I despised him! I thought how glad
  36. I should be, if some day when he walked the earth, it would open and
  37. swallow him up, and disencumber the world of a plague.
  38. <br />
  39. When he told me that I was made for his use, made to obey his command in
  40. thing; that I was nothing but a slave, whose will must and
  41. should surrender to his, never before had my puny arm felt half so strong.
  42. <br />
  43. So deeply was I absorbed in painful reflections afterwards, that I neither
  44. saw nor heard the entrance of any one, till the voice of William sounded
  45. close beside me. Linda,” said he, what makes you look so sad? I love
  46. you. O, Linda, isnt this a bad world? Every body seems so cross and
  47. unhappy. I wish I had died when poor father did.”
  48. <br />
  49. I told him that every body was cross, or unhappy; that those
  50. who had pleasant homes, and kind friends, and who were not afraid to love
  51. them, were happy. But we, who were slave-children, without father or
  52. mother, could not expect to be happy. We must be good; perhaps that would
  53. bring us contentment.
  54. <br />
  55. Yes,” he said, I try to be good; but whats the use? They are all the
  56. time troubling me.” Then he proceeded to relate his afternoons difficulty
  57. with young master Nicholas. It seemed that the brother of master Nicholas
  58. had pleased himself with making up stories about William. Master Nicholas
  59. said he should be flogged, and he would do it. Whereupon he went to work;
  60. but William fought bravely, and the young master, finding he was getting
  61. the better of him, undertook to tie his hands behind him. He failed in
  62. that likewise. By dint of kicking and fisting, William came out of the
  63. skirmish none the worse for a few scratches.
  64. <br />
  65. He continued to discourse, on his young masters ; how he
  66. whipped the boys, but was a perfect coward when a tussle
  67. ensued between him and white boys of his own size. On such occasions he
  68. always took to his legs. William had other charges to make against him.
  69. One was his rubbing up pennies with quicksilver, and passing them off for
  70. quarters of a dollar on an old man who kept a fruit stall. William was
  71. often sent to buy fruit, and he earnestly inquired of me what he ought to
  72. do under such circumstances. I told him it was certainly wrong to deceive
  73. the old man, and that it was his duty to tell him of the impositions
  74. practised by his young master. I assured him the old man would not be slow
  75. to comprehend the whole, and there the matter would end. William thought
  76. it might with the old man, but not with . He said he did not
  77. mind the smart of the whip, but he did not like the of being
  78. whipped.
  79. <br />
  80. While I advised him to be good and forgiving I was not unconscious of the
  81. beam in my own eye. It was the very knowledge of my own shortcomings that
  82. urged me to retain, if possible, some sparks of my brothers God-given
  83. nature. I had not lived fourteen years in slavery for nothing. I had felt,
  84. seen, and heard enough, to read the characters, and question the motives,
  85. of those around me. The war of my life had begun; and though one of Gods
  86. most powerless creatures, I resolved never to be conquered. Alas, for me!
  87. <br />
  88. If there was one pure, sunny spot for me, I believed it to be in
  89. Benjamins heart, and in anothers, whom I loved with all the ardor of a
  90. girls first love. My owner knew of it, and sought in every way to render
  91. me miserable. He did not resort to corporal punishment, but to all the
  92. petty, tyrannical ways that human ingenuity could devise.
  93. <br />
  94. I remember the first time I was punished. It was in the month of February.
  95. My grandmother had taken my old shoes, and replaced them with a new pair.
  96. I needed them; for several inches of snow had fallen, and it still
  97. continued to fall. When I walked through Mrs. Flints room, their creaking
  98. grated harshly on her refined nerves. She called me to her, and asked what
  99. I had about me that made such a horrid noise. I told her it was my new
  100. shoes. Take them off,” said she; and if you put them on again, Ill
  101. throw them into the fire.”
  102. <br />
  103. I took them off, and my stockings also. She then sent me a long distance,
  104. on an errand. As I went through the snow, my bare feet tingled. That night
  105. I was very hoarse; and I went to bed thinking the next day would find me
  106. sick, perhaps dead. What was my grief on waking to find myself quite well!
  107. <br />
  108. I had imagined if I died, or was laid up for some time, that my mistress
  109. would feel a twinge of remorse that she had so hated the little imp,” as
  110. she styled me. It was my ignorance of that mistress that gave rise to such
  111. extravagant imaginings.
  112. <br />
  113. Dr. Flint occasionally had high prices offered for me; but he always said,
  114. She dont belong to me. She is my daughters property, and I have no
  115. right to sell her.” Good, honest man! My young mistress was still a child,
  116. and I could look for no protection from her. I loved her, and she returned
  117. my affection. I once heard her father allude to her attachment to me, and
  118. his wife promptly replied that it proceeded from fear. This put unpleasant
  119. doubts into my mind. Did the child feign what she did not feel? or was her
  120. mother jealous of the mite of love she bestowed on me? I concluded it must
  121. be the latter. I said to myself, Surely, little children are true.”
  122. <br />
  123. One afternoon I sat at my sewing, feeling unusual depression of spirits.
  124. My mistress had been accusing me of an offence, of which I assured her I
  125. was perfectly innocent; but I saw, by the contemptuous curl of her lip,
  126. that she believed I was telling a lie.
  127. <br />
  128. I wondered for what wise purpose God was leading me through such thorny
  129. paths, and whether still darker days were in store for me. As I sat musing
  130. thus, the door opened softly, and William came in. Well, brother,” said
  131. I, what is the matter this time?”
  132. <br />
  133. O Linda, Ben and his master have had a dreadful time!” said he.
  134. <br />
  135. My first thought was that Benjamin was killed. Dont be frightened,
  136. Linda,” said William; I will tell you all about it.”
  137. <br />
  138. It appeared that Benjamins master had sent for him, and he did not
  139. immediately obey the summons. When he did, his master was angry, and began
  140. to whip him. He resisted. Master and slave fought, and finally the master
  141. was thrown. Benjamin had cause to tremble; for he had thrown to the ground
  142. his masterone of the richest men in town. I anxiously awaited the
  143. result.
  144. <br />
  145. That night I stole to my grandmothers house; and Benjamin also stole
  146. thither from his masters. My grandmother had gone to spend a day or two
  147. with an old friend living in the country.
  148. <br />
  149. I have come,” said Benjamin, to tell you good by. I am going away.”
  150. <br />
  151. I inquired where.
  152. <br />
  153. To the north,” he replied.
  154. <br />
  155. I looked at him to see whether he was in earnest. I saw it all in his
  156. firm, set mouth. I implored him not to go, but he paid no heed to my
  157. words. He said he was no longer a boy, and every day made his yoke more
  158. galling. He had raised his hand against his master, and was to be publicly
  159. whipped for the offence. I reminded him of the poverty and hardships he
  160. must encounter among strangers. I told him he might be caught and brought
  161. back; and that was terrible to think of.
  162. <br />
  163. He grew vexed, and asked if poverty and hardships with freedom, were not
  164. preferable to our treatment in slavery. Linda,” he continued, we are
  165. dogs here; foot-balls, cattle, every thing thats mean. No, I will not
  166. stay. Let them bring me back. We dont die but once.”
  167. <br />
  168. He was right; but it was hard to give him up. Go,” said I, and break
  169. your mothers heart.”
  170. <br />
  171. I repented of my words ere they were out.
  172. <br />
  173. Linda,” said he, speaking as I had not heard him speak that evening, how
  174. you say that? Poor mother! be kind to her, Linda; and you,
  175. too, cousin Fanny.”
  176. <br />
  177. Cousin Fanny was a friend who had lived some years with us.
  178. <br />
  179. Farewells were exchanged, and the bright, kind boy, endeared to us by so
  180. many acts of love, vanished from our sight.
  181. <br />
  182. It is not necessary to state how he made his escape. Suffice it to say, he
  183. was on his way to New York when a violent storm overtook the vessel. The
  184. captain said he must put into the nearest port. This alarmed Benjamin, who
  185. was aware that he would be advertised in every port near his own town. His
  186. embarrassment was noticed by the captain. To port they went. There the
  187. advertisement met the captains eye. Benjamin so exactly answered its
  188. description, that the captain laid hold on him, and bound him in chains.
  189. The storm passed, and they proceeded to New York. Before reaching that
  190. port Benjamin managed to get off his chains and throw them overboard. He
  191. escaped from the vessel, but was pursued, captured, and carried back to
  192. his master.
  193. <br />
  194. When my grandmother returned home and found her youngest child had fled,
  195. great was her sorrow; but, with characteristic piety, she said, Gods
  196. will be done.” Each morning, she inquired if any news had been heard from
  197. her boy. Yes, news heard. The master was rejoicing over a
  198. letter, announcing the capture of his human chattel.
  199. <br />
  200. That day seems but as yesterday, so well do I remember it. I saw him led
  201. through the streets in chains, to jail. His face was ghastly pale, yet
  202. full of determination. He had begged one of the sailors to go to his
  203. mothers house and ask her not to meet him. He said the sight of her
  204. distress would take from him all self-control. She yearned to see him, and
  205. she went; but she screened herself in the crowd, that it might be as her
  206. child had said.
  207. <br />
  208. We were not allowed to visit him; but we had known the jailer for years,
  209. and he was a kind-hearted man. At midnight he opened the jail door for my
  210. grandmother and myself to enter, in disguise. When we entered the cell not
  211. a sound broke the stillness. Benjamin, Benjamin!” whispered my
  212. grandmother. No answer. Benjamin!” she again faltered. There was a jingle
  213. of chains. The moon had just risen, and cast an uncertain light through
  214. the bars of the window. We knelt down and took Benjamins cold hands in
  215. ours. We did not speak. Sobs were heard, and Benjamins lips were
  216. unsealed; for his mother was weeping on his neck. How vividly does memory
  217. bring back that sad night! Mother and son talked together. He asked her
  218. pardon for the suffering he had caused her. She said she had nothing to
  219. forgive; she could not blame his desire for freedom. He told her that when
  220. he was captured, he broke away, and was about casting himself into the
  221. river, when thoughts of came over him, and he desisted. She
  222. asked if he did not also think of God. I fancied I saw his face grow
  223. fierce in the moonlight. He answered, No, I did not think of him. When a
  224. man is hunted like a wild beast he forgets there is a God, a heaven. He
  225. forgets every thing in his struggle to get beyond the reach of the
  226. bloodhounds.”
  227. <br />
  228. Dont talk so, Benjamin,” said she. Put your trust in God. Be humble, my
  229. child, and your master will forgive you.”
  230. <br />
  231. Forgive me for , mother? For not letting him treat me like a
  232. dog? No! I will never humble myself to him. I have worked for him for
  233. nothing all my life, and I am repaid with stripes and imprisonment. Here I
  234. will stay till I die, or till he sells me.”
  235. <br />
  236. The poor mother shuddered at his words. I think he felt it; for when he
  237. next spoke, his voice was calmer. Dont fret about me, mother. I aint
  238. worth it,” said he. I wish I had some of your goodness. You bear every
  239. thing patiently, just as though you thought it was all right. I wish I
  240. could.”
  241. <br />
  242. She told him she had not always been so; once, she was like him; but when
  243. sore troubles came upon her, and she had no arm to lean upon, she learned
  244. to call on God, and he lightened her burdens. She besought him to do
  245. likewise.
  246. <br />
  247. We overstaid our time, and were obliged to hurry from the jail.
  248. <br />
  249. Benjamin had been imprisoned three weeks, when my grandmother went to
  250. intercede for him with his master. He was immovable. He said Benjamin
  251. should serve as an example to the rest of his slaves; he should be kept in
  252. jail till he was subdued, or be sold if he got but one dollar for him.
  253. However, he afterwards relented in some degree. The chains were taken off,
  254. and we were allowed to visit him.
  255. <br />
  256. As his food was of the coarsest kind, we carried him as often as possible
  257. a warm supper, accompanied with some little luxury for the jailer.
  258. <br />
  259. Three months elapsed, and there was no prospect of release or of a
  260. purchaser. One day he was heard to sing and laugh. This piece of indecorum
  261. was told to his master, and the overseer was ordered to re-chain him. He
  262. was now confined in an apartment with other prisoners, who were covered
  263. with filthy rags. Benjamin was chained near them, and was soon covered
  264. with vermin. He worked at his chains till he succeeded in getting out of
  265. them. He passed them through the bars of the window, with a request that
  266. they should be taken to his master, and he should be informed that he was
  267. covered with vermin.
  268. <br />
  269. This audacity was punished with heavier chains, and prohibition of our
  270. visits.
  271. <br />
  272. My grandmother continued to send him fresh changes of clothes. The old
  273. ones were burned up. The last night we saw him in jail his mother still
  274. begged him to send for his master, and beg his pardon. Neither persuasion
  275. nor argument could turn him from his purpose. He calmly answered, I am
  276. waiting his time.”
  277. <br />
  278. Those chains were mournful to hear.
  279. <br />
  280. Another three months passed, and Benjamin left his prison walls. We that
  281. loved him waited to bid him a long and last farewell. A slave-trader had
  282. bought him. You remember, I told you what price he brought when ten years
  283. of age. Now he was more than twenty years old, and sold for three hundred
  284. dollars. The master had been blind to his own interest. Long confinement
  285. had made his face too pale, his form too thin; moreover, the trader had
  286. heard something of his character, and it did not strike him as suitable
  287. for a slave. He said he would give any price if the handsome lad was a
  288. girl. We thanked God that he was not.
  289. <br />
  290. Could you have seen that mother clinging to her child, when they fastened
  291. the irons upon his wrists; could you have heard her heart-rending groans,
  292. and seen her bloodshot eyes wander wildly from face to face, vainly
  293. pleading for mercy; could you have witnessed that scene as I saw it, you
  294. would exclaim, ! Benjamin, her youngest, her
  295. pet, was forever gone! She could not realize it. She had had an interview
  296. with the trader for the purpose of ascertaining if Benjamin could be
  297. purchased. She was told it was impossible, as he had given bonds not to
  298. sell him till he was out of the state. He promised that he would not sell
  299. him till he reached New Orleans.
  300. <br />
  301. With a strong arm and unvaried trust, my grandmother began her work of
  302. love. Benjamin must be free. If she succeeded, she knew they would still
  303. be separated; but the sacrifice was not too great. Day and night she
  304. labored. The traders price would treble that he gave; but she was not
  305. discouraged.
  306. <br />
  307. She employed a lawyer to write to a gentleman, whom she knew, in New
  308. Orleans. She begged him to interest himself for Benjamin, and he willingly
  309. favored her request. When he saw Benjamin, and stated his business, he
  310. thanked him; but said he preferred to wait a while before making the
  311. trader an offer. He knew he had tried to obtain a high price for him, and
  312. had invariably failed. This encouraged him to make another effort for
  313. freedom. So one morning, long before day, Benjamin was missing. He was
  314. riding over the blue billows, bound for Baltimore.
  315. <br />
  316. For once his white face did him a kindly service. They had no suspicion
  317. that it belonged to a slave; otherwise, the law would have been followed
  318. out to the letter, and the rendered back to slavery. The
  319. brightest skies are often overshadowed by the darkest clouds. Benjamin was
  320. taken sick, and compelled to remain in Baltimore three weeks. His strength
  321. was slow in returning; and his desire to continue his journey seemed to
  322. retard his recovery. How could he get strength without air and exercise?
  323. He resolved to venture on a short walk. A by-street was selected, where he
  324. thought himself secure of not being met by any one that knew him; but a
  325. voice called out, Halloo, Ben, my boy! what are you doing !”
  326. <br />
  327. His first impulse was to run; but his legs trembled so that he could not
  328. stir. He turned to confront his antagonist, and behold, there stood his
  329. old masters next door neighbor! He thought it was all over with him now;
  330. but it proved otherwise. That man was a miracle. He possessed a goodly
  331. number of slaves, and yet was not quite deaf to that mystic clock, whose
  332. ticking is rarely heard in the slaveholders breast.
  333. <br />
  334. Ben, you are sick,” said he. Why, you look like a ghost. I guess I gave
  335. you something of a start. Never mind, Ben, I am not going to touch you.
  336. You had a pretty tough time of it, and you may go on your way rejoicing
  337. for all me. But I would advise you to get out of this place plaguy quick,
  338. for there are several gentlemen here from our town.” He described the
  339. nearest and safest route to New York, and added, I shall be glad to tell
  340. your mother I have seen you. Good by, Ben.”
  341. <br />
  342. Benjamin turned away, filled with gratitude, and surprised that the town
  343. he hated contained such a gema gem worthy of a purer setting.
  344. <br />
  345. This gentleman was a Northerner by birth, and had married a southern lady.
  346. On his return, he told my grandmother that he had seen her son, and of the
  347. service he had rendered him.
  348. <br />
  349. Benjamin reached New York safely, and concluded to stop there until he had
  350. gained strength enough to proceed further. It happened that my
  351. grandmothers only remaining son had sailed for the same city on business
  352. for his mistress. Through Gods providence, the brothers met. You may be
  353. sure it was a happy meeting. O Phil,” exclaimed Benjamin, I am here at
  354. last.” Then he told him how near he came to dying, almost in sight of free
  355. land, and how he prayed that he might live to get one breath of free air.
  356. He said life was worth something now, and it would be hard to die. In the
  357. old jail he had not valued it; once, he was tempted to destroy it; but
  358. something, he did not know what, had prevented him; perhaps it was fear.
  359. He had heard those who profess to be religious declare there was no heaven
  360. for self-murderers; and as his life had been pretty hot here, he did not
  361. desire a continuation of the same in another world. If I die now,” he
  362. exclaimed, thank God, I shall die a freeman!”
  363. <br />
  364. He begged my uncle Phillip not to return south; but stay and work with
  365. him, till they earned enough to buy those at home. His brother told him it
  366. would kill their mother if he deserted her in her trouble. She had pledged
  367. her house, and with difficulty had raised money to buy him. Would he be
  368. bought?
  369. <br />
  370. No, never!” he replied. Do you suppose, Phil, when I have got so far out
  371. of their clutches, I will give them one red cent? No! And do you suppose I
  372. would turn mother out of her home in her old age? That I would let her pay
  373. all those hard-earned dollars for me, and never to see me? For you know
  374. she will stay south as long as her other children are slaves. What a good
  375. mother! Tell her to buy , Phil. You have been a comfort to her,
  376. and I have been a trouble. And Linda, poor Linda; whatll become of her?
  377. Phil, you dont know what a life they lead her. She has told me something
  378. about it, and I wish old Flint was dead, or a better man. When I was in
  379. jail, he asked her if she didnt want to ask my master to
  380. forgive me, and take me home again. She told him, No; that I didnt want
  381. to go back. He got mad, and said we were all alike. I never despised my
  382. own master half as much as I do that man. There is many a worse
  383. slaveholder than my master; but for all that I would not be his slave.”
  384. <br />
  385. While Benjamin was sick, he had parted with nearly all his clothes to pay
  386. necessary expenses. But he did not part with a little pin I fastened in
  387. his bosom when we parted. It was the most valuable thing I owned, and I
  388. thought none more worthy to wear it. He had it still.
  389. <br />
  390. His brother furnished him with clothes, and gave him what money he had.
  391. <br />
  392. They parted with moistened eyes; and as Benjamin turned away, he said,
  393. Phil, I part with all my kindred.” And so it proved. We never heard from
  394. him again.
  395. <br />
  396. Uncle Phillip came home; and the first words he uttered when he entered
  397. the house were, Mother, Ben is free! I have seen him in New York.” She
  398. stood looking at him with a bewildered air. Mother, dont you believe
  399. it?” he said, laying his hand softly upon her shoulder. She raised her
  400. hands, and exclaimed, God be praised! Let us thank him.” She dropped on
  401. her knees, and poured forth her heart in prayer. Then Phillip must sit
  402. down and repeat to her every word Benjamin had said. He told her all; only
  403. he forbore to mention how sick and pale her darling looked. Why should he
  404. distress her when she could do him no good?
  405. <br />
  406. The brave old woman still toiled on, hoping to rescue some of her other
  407. children. After a while she succeeded in buying Phillip. She paid eight
  408. hundred dollars, and came home with the precious document that secured his
  409. freedom. The happy mother and son sat together by the old hearthstone that
  410. night, telling how proud they were of each other, and how they would prove
  411. to the world that they could take care of themselves, as they had long
  412. taken care of others. We all concluded by saying, He that is
  413. to be a slave, let him be a slave.”
  414. <br />

  1. [ ]()

  1. V. The Trials Of Girlhood.
  2. During the first years of my service in Dr. Flints family, I was
  3. accustomed to share some indulgences with the children of my mistress.
  4. Though this seemed to me no more than right, I was grateful for it, and
  5. tried to merit the kindness by the faithful discharge of my duties. But I
  6. now entered on my fifteenth yeara sad epoch in the life of a slave
  7. girl. My master began to whisper foul words in my ear. Young as I was, I
  8. could not remain ignorant of their import. I tried to treat them with
  9. indifference or contempt. The masters age, my extreme youth, and the fear
  10. that his conduct would be reported to my grandmother, made him bear this
  11. treatment for many months. He was a crafty man, and resorted to many means
  12. to accomplish his purposes. Sometimes he had stormy, terrific ways, that
  13. made his victims tremble; sometimes he assumed a gentleness that he
  14. thought must surely subdue. Of the two, I preferred his stormy moods,
  15. although they left me trembling. He tried his utmost to corrupt the pure
  16. principles my grandmother had instilled. He peopled my young mind with
  17. unclean images, such as only a vile monster could think of. I turned from
  18. him with disgust and hatred. But he was my master. I was compelled to live
  19. under the same roof with himwhere I saw a man forty years my senior
  20. daily violating the most sacred commandments of nature. He told me I was
  21. his property; that I must be subject to his will in all things. My soul
  22. revolted against the mean tyranny. But where could I turn for protection?
  23. No matter whether the slave girl be as black as ebony or as fair as her
  24. mistress. In either case, there is no shadow of law to protect her from
  25. insult, from violence, or even from death; all these are inflicted by
  26. fiends who bear the shape of men. The mistress, who ought to protect the
  27. helpless victim, has no other feelings towards her but those of jealousy
  28. and rage. The degradation, the wrongs, the vices, that grow out of
  29. slavery, are more than I can describe. They are greater than you would
  30. willingly believe. Surely, if you credited one half the truths that are
  31. told you concerning the helpless millions suffering in this cruel bondage,
  32. you at the north would not help to tighten the yoke. You surely would
  33. refuse to do for the master, on your own soil, the mean and cruel work
  34. which trained bloodhounds and the lowest class of whites do for him at the
  35. south.
  36. <br />
  37. Every where the years bring to all enough of sin and sorrow; but in
  38. slavery the very dawn of life is darkened by these shadows. Even the
  39. little child, who is accustomed to wait on her mistress and her children,
  40. will learn, before she is twelve years old, why it is that her mistress
  41. hates such and such a one among the slaves. Perhaps the childs own mother
  42. is among those hated ones. She listens to violent outbreaks of jealous
  43. passion, and cannot help understanding what is the cause. She will become
  44. prematurely knowing in evil things. Soon she will learn to tremble when
  45. she hears her masters footfall. She will be compelled to realize that she
  46. is no longer a child. If God has bestowed beauty upon her, it will prove
  47. her greatest curse. That which commands admiration in the white woman only
  48. hastens the degradation of the female slave. I know that some are too much
  49. brutalized by slavery to feel the humiliation of their position; but many
  50. slaves feel it most acutely, and shrink from the memory of it. I cannot
  51. tell how much I suffered in the presence of these wrongs, nor how I am
  52. still pained by the retrospect. My master met me at every turn, reminding
  53. me that I belonged to him, and swearing by heaven and earth that he would
  54. compel me to submit to him. If I went out for a breath of fresh air, after
  55. a day of unwearied toil, his footsteps dogged me. If I knelt by my
  56. mothers grave, his dark shadow fell on me even there. The light heart
  57. which nature had given me became heavy with sad forebodings. The other
  58. slaves in my masters house noticed the change. Many of them pitied me;
  59. but none dared to ask the cause. They had no need to inquire. They knew
  60. too well the guilty practices under that roof; and they were aware that to
  61. speak of them was an offence that never went unpunished.
  62. <br />
  63. I longed for some one to confide in. I would have given the world to have
  64. laid my head on my grandmothers faithful bosom, and told her all my
  65. troubles. But Dr. Flint swore he would kill me, if I was not as silent as
  66. the grave. Then, although my grandmother was all in all to me, I feared
  67. her as well as loved her. I had been accustomed to look up to her with a
  68. respect bordering upon awe. I was very young, and felt shamefaced about
  69. telling her such impure things, especially as I knew her to be very strict
  70. on such subjects. Moreover, she was a woman of a high spirit. She was
  71. usually very quiet in her demeanor; but if her indignation was once
  72. roused, it was not very easily quelled. I had been told that she once
  73. chased a white gentleman with a loaded pistol, because he insulted one of
  74. her daughters. I dreaded the consequences of a violent outbreak; and both
  75. pride and fear kept me silent. But though I did not confide in my
  76. grandmother, and even evaded her vigilant watchfulness and inquiry, her
  77. presence in the neighborhood was some protection to me. Though she had
  78. been a slave, Dr. Flint was afraid of her. He dreaded her scorching
  79. rebukes. Moreover, she was known and patronized by many people; and he did
  80. not wish to have his villainy made public. It was lucky for me that I did
  81. not live on a distant plantation, but in a town not so large that the
  82. inhabitants were ignorant of each others affairs. Bad as are the laws and
  83. customs in a slaveholding community, the doctor, as a professional man,
  84. deemed it prudent to keep up some outward show of decency.
  85. <br />
  86. O, what days and nights of fear and sorrow that man caused me! Reader, it
  87. is not to awaken sympathy for myself that I am telling you truthfully what
  88. I suffered in slavery. I do it to kindle a flame of compassion in your
  89. hearts for my sisters who are still in bondage, suffering as I once
  90. suffered.
  91. <br />
  92. I once saw two beautiful children playing together. One was a fair white
  93. child; the other was her slave, and also her sister. When I saw them
  94. embracing each other, and heard their joyous laughter, I turned sadly away
  95. from the lovely sight. I foresaw the inevitable blight that would fall on
  96. the little slaves heart. I knew how soon her laughter would be changed to
  97. sighs. The fair child grew up to be a still fairer woman. From childhood
  98. to womanhood her pathway was blooming with flowers, and overarched by a
  99. sunny sky. Scarcely one day of her life had been clouded when the sun rose
  100. on her happy bridal morning.
  101. <br />
  102. How had those years dealt with her slave sister, the little playmate of
  103. her childhood? She, also, was very beautiful; but the flowers and sunshine
  104. of love were not for her. She drank the cup of sin, and shame, and misery,
  105. whereof her persecuted race are compelled to drink.
  106. <br />
  107. In view of these things, why are ye silent, ye free men and women of the
  108. north? Why do your tongues falter in maintenance of the right? Would that
  109. I had more ability! But my heart is so full, and my pen is so weak! There
  110. are noble men and women who plead for us, striving to help those who
  111. cannot help themselves. God bless them! God give them strength and courage
  112. to go on! God bless those, every where, who are laboring to advance the
  113. cause of humanity!
  114. <br />

  1. [ ]()

  1. VI. The Jealous Mistress.
  2. I would ten thousand times rather that my children should be the
  3. half-starved paupers of Ireland than to be the most pampered among the
  4. slaves of America. I would rather drudge out my life on a cotton
  5. plantation, till the grave opened to give me rest, than to live with an
  6. unprincipled master and a jealous mistress. The felons home in a
  7. penitentiary is preferable. He may repent, and turn from the error of his
  8. ways, and so find peace; but it is not so with a favorite slave. She is
  9. not allowed to have any pride of character. It is deemed a crime in her to
  10. wish to be virtuous.
  11. <br />
  12. Mrs. Flint possessed the key to her husbands character before I was born.
  13. She might have used this knowledge to counsel and to screen the young and
  14. the innocent among her slaves; but for them she had no sympathy. They were
  15. the objects of her constant suspicion and malevolence. She watched her
  16. husband with unceasing vigilance; but he was well practised in means to
  17. evade it. What he could not find opportunity to say in words he manifested
  18. in signs. He invented more than were ever thought of in a deaf and dumb
  19. asylum. I let them pass, as if I did not understand what he meant; and
  20. many were the curses and threats bestowed on me for my stupidity. One day
  21. he caught me teaching myself to write. He frowned, as if he was not well
  22. pleased; but I suppose he came to the conclusion that such an
  23. accomplishment might help to advance his favorite scheme. Before long,
  24. notes were often slipped into my hand. I would return them, saying, I
  25. cant read them, sir.” Cant you?” he replied; then I must read them to
  26. you.” He always finished the reading by asking, Do you understand?”
  27. Sometimes he would complain of the heat of the tea room, and order his
  28. supper to be placed on a small table in the piazza. He would seat himself
  29. there with a well-satisfied smile, and tell me to stand by and brush away
  30. the flies. He would eat very slowly, pausing between the mouthfuls. These
  31. intervals were employed in describing the happiness I was so foolishly
  32. throwing away, and in threatening me with the penalty that finally awaited
  33. my stubborn disobedience. He boasted much of the forbearance he had
  34. exercised towards me, and reminded me that there was a limit to his
  35. patience. When I succeeded in avoiding opportunities for him to talk to me
  36. at home, I was ordered to come to his office, to do some errand. When
  37. there, I was obliged to stand and listen to such language as he saw fit to
  38. address to me. Sometimes I so openly expressed my contempt for him that he
  39. would become violently enraged, and I wondered why he did not strike me.
  40. Circumstanced as he was, he probably thought it was better policy to be
  41. forebearing. But the state of things grew worse and worse daily. In
  42. desperation I told him that I must and would apply to my grandmother for
  43. protection. He threatened me with death, and worse than death, if I made
  44. any complaint to her. Strange to say, I did not despair. I was naturally
  45. of a buoyant disposition, and always I had a hope of somehow getting out
  46. of his clutches. Like many a poor, simple slave before me, I trusted that
  47. some threads of joy would yet be woven into my dark destiny.
  48. <br />
  49. I had entered my sixteenth year, and every day it became more apparent
  50. that my presence was intolerable to Mrs. Flint. Angry words frequently
  51. passed between her and her husband. He had never punished me himself, and
  52. he would not allow any body else to punish me. In that respect, she was
  53. never satisfied; but, in her angry moods, no terms were too vile for her
  54. to bestow upon me. Yet I, whom she detested so bitterly, had far more pity
  55. for her than he had, whose duty it was to make her life happy. I never
  56. wronged her, or wished to wrong her, and one word of kindness from her
  57. would have brought me to her feet.
  58. <br />
  59. After repeated quarrels between the doctor and his wife, he announced his
  60. intention to take his youngest daughter, then four years old, to sleep in
  61. his apartment. It was necessary that a servant should sleep in the same
  62. room, to be on hand if the child stirred. I was selected for that office,
  63. and informed for what purpose that arrangement had been made. By managing
  64. to keep within sight of people, as much as possible, during the day time,
  65. I had hitherto succeeded in eluding my master, though a razor was often
  66. held to my throat to force me to change this line of policy. At night I
  67. slept by the side of my great aunt, where I felt safe. He was too prudent
  68. to come into her room. She was an old woman, and had been in the family
  69. many years. Moreover, as a married man, and a professional man, he deemed
  70. it necessary to save appearances in some degree. But he resolved to remove
  71. the obstacle in the way of his scheme; and he thought he had planned it so
  72. that he should evade suspicion. He was well aware how much I prized my
  73. refuge by the side of my old aunt, and he determined to dispossess me of
  74. it. The first night the doctor had the little child in his room alone. The
  75. next morning, I was ordered to take my station as nurse the following
  76. night. A kind Providence interposed in my favor. During the day Mrs. Flint
  77. heard of this new arrangement, and a storm followed. I rejoiced to hear it
  78. rage.
  79. <br />
  80. After a while my mistress sent for me to come to her room. Her first
  81. question was, Did you know you were to sleep in the doctors room?”
  82. <br />
  83. Yes, maam.”
  84. <br />
  85. Who told you?”
  86. <br />
  87. My master.”
  88. <br />
  89. Will you answer truly all the questions I ask?”
  90. <br />
  91. Yes, maam.”
  92. <br />
  93. Tell me, then, as you hope to be forgiven, are you innocent of what I
  94. have accused you?”
  95. <br />
  96. I am.”
  97. <br />
  98. She handed me a Bible, and said, Lay your hand on your heart, kiss this
  99. holy book, and swear before God that you tell me the truth.”
  100. <br />
  101. I took the oath she required, and I did it with a clear conscience.
  102. <br />
  103. You have taken Gods holy word to testify your innocence,” said she. If
  104. you have deceived me, beware! Now take this stool, sit down, look me
  105. directly in the face, and tell me all that has passed between your master
  106. and you.”
  107. <br />
  108. I did as she ordered. As I went on with my account her color changed
  109. frequently, she wept, and sometimes groaned. She spoke in tones so sad,
  110. that I was touched by her grief. The tears came to my eyes; but I was soon
  111. convinced that her emotions arose from anger and wounded pride. She felt
  112. that her marriage vows were desecrated, her dignity insulted; but she had
  113. no compassion for the poor victim of her husbands perfidy. She pitied
  114. herself as a martyr; but she was incapable of feeling for the condition of
  115. shame and misery in which her unfortunate, helpless slave was placed. Yet
  116. perhaps she had some touch of feeling for me; for when the conference was
  117. ended, she spoke kindly, and promised to protect me. I should have been
  118. much comforted by this assurance if I could have had confidence in it; but
  119. my experiences in slavery had filled me with distrust. She was not a very
  120. refined woman, and had not much control over her passions. I was an object
  121. of her jealousy, and, consequently, of her hatred; and I knew I could not
  122. expect kindness or confidence from her under the circumstances in which I
  123. was placed. I could not blame her. Slaveholders wives feel as other women
  124. would under similar circumstances. The fire of her temper kindled from
  125. small-sparks, and now the flame became so intense that the doctor was
  126. obliged to give up his intended arrangement.
  127. <br />
  128. I knew I had ignited the torch, and I expected to suffer for it
  129. afterwards; but I felt too thankful to my mistress for the timely aid she
  130. rendered me to care much about that. She now took me to sleep in a room
  131. adjoining her own. There I was an object of her especial care, though not
  132. to her especial comfort, for she spent many a sleepless night to watch
  133. over me. Sometimes I woke up, and found her bending over me. At other
  134. times she whispered in my ear, as though it was her husband who was
  135. speaking to me, and listened to hear what I would answer. If she startled
  136. me, on such occasions, she would glide stealthily away; and the next
  137. morning she would tell me I had been talking in my sleep, and ask who I
  138. was talking to. At last, I began to be fearful for my life. It had been
  139. often threatened; and you can imagine, better than I can describe, what an
  140. unpleasant sensation it must produce to wake up in the dead of night and
  141. find a jealous woman bending over you. Terrible as this experience was, I
  142. had fears that it would give place to one more terrible.
  143. <br />
  144. My mistress grew weary of her vigils; they did not prove satisfactory. She
  145. changed her tactics. She now tried the trick of accusing my master of
  146. crime, in my presence, and gave my name as the author of the accusation.
  147. To my utter astonishment, he replied, I dont believe it; but if she did
  148. acknowledge it, you tortured her into exposing me.” Tortured into exposing
  149. him! Truly, Satan had no difficulty in distinguishing the color of his
  150. soul! I understood his object in making this false representation. It was
  151. to show me that I gained nothing by seeking the protection of my mistress;
  152. that the power was still all in his own hands. I pitied Mrs. Flint. She
  153. was a second wife, many years the junior of her husband; and the
  154. hoary-headed miscreant was enough to try the patience of a wiser and
  155. better woman. She was completely foiled, and knew not how to proceed. She
  156. would gladly have had me flogged for my supposed false oath; but, as I
  157. have already stated, the doctor never allowed any one to whip me. The old
  158. sinner was politic. The application of the lash might have led to remarks
  159. that would have exposed him in the eyes of his children and grandchildren.
  160. How often did I rejoice that I lived in a town where all the inhabitants
  161. knew each other! If I had been on a remote plantation, or lost among the
  162. multitude of a crowded city, I should not be a living woman at this day.
  163. <br />
  164. The secrets of slavery are concealed like those of the Inquisition. My
  165. master was, to my knowledge, the father of eleven slaves. But did the
  166. mothers dare to tell who was the father of their children? Did the other
  167. slaves dare to allude to it, except in whispers among themselves? No,
  168. indeed! They knew too well the terrible consequences.
  169. <br />
  170. My grandmother could not avoid seeing things which excited her suspicions.
  171. She was uneasy about me, and tried various ways to buy me; but the
  172. never-changing answer was always repeated: Linda does not belong to .
  173. She is my daughters property, and I have no legal right to sell her.” The
  174. conscientious man! He was too scrupulous to me; but he had no
  175. scruples whatever about committing a much greater wrong against the
  176. helpless young girl placed under his guardianship, as his daughters
  177. property. Sometimes my persecutor would ask me whether I would like to be
  178. sold. I told him I would rather be sold to any body than to lead such a
  179. life as I did. On such occasions he would assume the air of a very injured
  180. individual, and reproach me for my ingratitude. Did I not take you into
  181. the house, and make you the companion of my own children?” he would say.
  182. Have ever treated you like a negro? I have never allowed you to
  183. be punished, not even to please your mistress. And this is the recompense
  184. I get, you ungrateful girl!” I answered that he had reasons of his own for
  185. screening me from punishment, and that the course he pursued made my
  186. mistress hate me and persecute me. If I wept, he would say, Poor child!
  187. Dont cry! dont cry! I will make peace for you with your mistress. Only
  188. let me arrange matters in my own way. Poor, foolish girl! you dont know
  189. what is for your own good. I would cherish you. I would make a lady of
  190. you. Now go, and think of all I have promised you.”
  191. <br />
  192. I did think of it.
  193. <br />
  194. Reader, I draw no imaginary pictures of southern homes. I am telling you
  195. the plain truth. Yet when victims make their escape from the wild beast of
  196. Slavery, northerners consent to act the part of bloodhounds, and hunt the
  197. poor fugitive back into his den, full of dead mens bones, and all
  198. uncleanness.” Nay, more, they are not only willing, but proud, to give
  199. their daughters in marriage to slaveholders. The poor girls have romantic
  200. notions of a sunny clime, and of the flowering vines that all the year
  201. round shade a happy home. To what disappointments are they destined! The
  202. young wife soon learns that the husband in whose hands she has placed her
  203. happiness pays no regard to his marriage vows. Children of every shade of
  204. complexion play with her own fair babies, and too well she knows that they
  205. are born unto him of his own household. Jealousy and hatred enter the
  206. flowery home, and it is ravaged of its loveliness.
  207. <br />
  208. Southern women often marry a man knowing that he is the father of many
  209. little slaves. They do not trouble themselves about it. They regard such
  210. children as property, as marketable as the pigs on the plantation; and it
  211. is seldom that they do not make them aware of this by passing them into
  212. the slave-traders hands as soon as possible, and thus getting them out of
  213. their sight. I am glad to say there are some honorable exceptions.
  214. <br />
  215. I have myself known two southern wives who exhorted their husbands to free
  216. those slaves towards whom they stood in a parental relation;” and their
  217. request was granted. These husbands blushed before the superior nobleness
  218. of their wives natures. Though they had only counselled them to do that
  219. which it was their duty to do, it commanded their respect, and rendered
  220. their conduct more exemplary. Concealment was at an end, and confidence
  221. took the place of distrust.
  222. <br />
  223. Though this bad institution deadens the moral sense, even in white women,
  224. to a fearful extent, it is not altogether extinct. I have heard southern
  225. ladies say of Mr. Such a one, He not only thinks it no disgrace to be the
  226. father of those little niggers, but he is not ashamed to call himself
  227. their master. I declare, such things ought not to be tolerated in any
  228. decent society!”
  229. <br />

  1. [ ]()

  1. VII. The Lover.
  2. Why does the slave ever love? Why allow the tendrils of the heart to twine
  3. around objects which may at any moment be wrenched away by the hand of
  4. violence? When separations come by the hand of death, the pious soul can
  5. bow in resignation, and say, Not my will, but thine be done, O Lord!” But
  6. when the ruthless hand of man strikes the blow, regardless of the misery
  7. he causes, it is hard to be submissive. I did not reason thus when I was a
  8. young girl. Youth will be youth. I loved and I indulged the hope that the
  9. dark clouds around me would turn out a bright lining. I forgot that in the
  10. land of my birth the shadows are too dense for light to penetrate. A land
  11. There was in the neighborhood a young colored carpenter; a free-born man.
  12. We had been well acquainted in childhood, and frequently met together
  13. afterwards. We became mutually attached, and he proposed to marry me. I
  14. loved him with all the ardor of a young girls first love. But when I
  15. reflected that I was a slave, and that the laws gave no sanction to the
  16. marriage of such, my heart sank within me. My lover wanted to buy me; but
  17. I knew that Dr. Flint was too willful and arbitrary a man to consent to
  18. that arrangement. From him, I was sure of experiencing all sort of
  19. opposition, and I had nothing to hope from my mistress. She would have
  20. been delighted to have got rid of me, but not in that way. It would have
  21. relieved her mind of a burden if she could have seen me sold to some
  22. distant state, but if I was married near home I should be just as much in
  23. her husbands power as I had previously been,—for the husband of a
  24. slave has no power to protect her. Moreover, my mistress, like many
  25. others, seemed to think that slaves had no right to any family ties of
  26. their own; that they were created merely to wait upon the family of the
  27. mistress. I once heard her abuse a young slave girl, who told her that a
  28. colored man wanted to make her his wife. I will have you peeled and
  29. pickled, my lady,” said she, if I ever hear you mention that subject
  30. again. Do you suppose that I will have you tending children with
  31. the children of that nigger?” The girl to whom she said this had a mulatto
  32. child, of course not acknowledged by its father. The poor black man who
  33. loved her would have been proud to acknowledge his helpless offspring.
  34. <br />
  35. Many and anxious were the thoughts I revolved in my mind. I was at a loss
  36. what to do. Above all things, I was desirous to spare my lover the insults
  37. that had cut so deeply into my own soul. I talked with my grandmother
  38. about it, and partly told her my fears. I did not dare to tell her the
  39. worst. She had long suspected all was not right, and if I confirmed her
  40. suspicions I knew a storm would rise that would prove the overthrow of all
  41. my hopes.
  42. <br />
  43. This love-dream had been my support through many trials; and I could not
  44. bear to run the risk of having it suddenly dissipated. There was a lady in
  45. the neighborhood, a particular friend of Dr. Flints, who often visited
  46. the house. I had a great respect for her, and she had always manifested a
  47. friendly interest in me. Grandmother thought she would have great
  48. influence with the doctor. I went to this lady, and told her my story. I
  49. told her I was aware that my lovers being a free-born man would prove a
  50. great objection; but he wanted to buy me; and if Dr. Flint would consent
  51. to that arrangement, I felt sure he would be willing to pay any reasonable
  52. price. She knew that Mrs. Flint disliked me; therefore, I ventured to
  53. suggest that perhaps my mistress would approve of my being sold, as that
  54. would rid her of me. The lady listened with kindly sympathy, and promised
  55. to do her utmost to promote my wishes. She had an interview with the
  56. doctor, and I believe she pleaded my cause earnestly; but it was all to no
  57. purpose.
  58. <br />
  59. How I dreaded my master now! Every minute I expected to be summoned to his
  60. presence; but the day passed, and I heard nothing from him. The next
  61. morning, a message was brought to me: Master wants you in his study.” I
  62. found the door ajar, and I stood a moment gazing at the hateful man who
  63. claimed a right to rule me, body and soul. I entered, and tried to appear
  64. calm. I did not want him to know how my heart was bleeding. He looked
  65. fixedly at me, with an expression which seemed to say, I have half a mind
  66. to kill you on the spot.” At last he broke the silence, and that was a
  67. relief to both of us.
  68. <br />
  69. So you want to be married, do you?” said he, and to a free nigger.”
  70. <br />
  71. Yes, sir.”
  72. <br />
  73. Well, Ill soon convince you whether I am your master, or the nigger
  74. fellow you honor so highly. If you have a husband, you may
  75. take up with one of my slaves.”
  76. <br />
  77. What a situation I should be in, as the wife of one of slaves,
  78. even if my heart had been interested!
  79. <br />
  80. I replied, Dont you suppose, sir, that a slave can have some preference
  81. about marrying? Do you suppose that all men are alike to her?”
  82. <br />
  83. Do you love this nigger?” said he, abruptly.
  84. <br />
  85. Yes, sir.”
  86. <br />
  87. How dare you tell me so!” he exclaimed, in great wrath. After a slight
  88. pause, he added, I supposed you thought more of yourself; that you felt
  89. above the insults of such puppies.”
  90. <br />
  91. I replied, If he is a puppy, I am a puppy, for we are both of the negro
  92. race. It is right and honorable for us to love each other. The man you
  93. call a puppy never insulted me, sir; and he would not love me if he did
  94. not believe me to be a virtuous woman.”
  95. <br />
  96. He sprang upon me like a tiger, and gave me a stunning blow. It was the
  97. first time he had ever struck me; and fear did not enable me to control my
  98. anger. When I had recovered a little from the effects, I exclaimed, You
  99. have struck me for answering you honestly. How I despise you!”
  100. <br />
  101. There was silence for some minutes. Perhaps he was deciding what should be
  102. my punishment; or, perhaps, he wanted to give me time to reflect on what I
  103. had said, and to whom I had said it. Finally, he asked, Do you know what
  104. you have said?”
  105. <br />
  106. Yes, sir; but your treatment drove me to it.”
  107. <br />
  108. Do you know that I have a right to do as I like with you,—that I
  109. can kill you, if I please?”
  110. <br />
  111. You have tried to kill me, and I wish you had; but you have no right to
  112. do as you like with me.”
  113. <br />
  114. Silence!” he exclaimed, in a thundering voice. By heavens, girl, you
  115. forget yourself too far! Are you mad? If you are, I will soon bring you to
  116. your senses. Do you think any other master would bear what I have borne
  117. from you this morning? Many masters would have killed you on the spot. How
  118. would you like to be sent to jail for your insolence?”
  119. <br />
  120. I know I have been disrespectful, sir,” I replied; but you drove me to
  121. it; I couldnt help it. As for the jail, there would be more peace for me
  122. there than there is here.”
  123. <br />
  124. You deserve to go there,” said he, and to be under such treatment, that
  125. you would forget the meaning of the word . It would do you
  126. good. It would take some of your high notions out of you. But I am not
  127. ready to send you there yet, notwithstanding your ingratitude for all my
  128. kindness and forbearance. You have been the plague of my life. I have
  129. wanted to make you happy, and I have been repaid with the basest
  130. ingratitude; but though you have proved yourself incapable of appreciating
  131. my kindness, I will be lenient towards you, Linda. I will give you one
  132. more chance to redeem your character. If you behave yourself and do as I
  133. require, I will forgive you and treat you as I always have done; but if
  134. you disobey me, I will punish you as I would the meanest slave on my
  135. plantation. Never let me hear that fellows name mentioned again. If I
  136. ever know of your speaking to him, I will cowhide you both; and if I catch
  137. him lurking about my premises, I will shoot him as soon as I would a dog.
  138. Do you hear what I say? Ill teach you a lesson about marriage and free
  139. niggers! Now go, and let this be the last time I have occasion to speak to
  140. you on this subject.”
  141. <br />
  142. Reader, did you ever hate? I hope not. I never did but once; and I trust I
  143. never shall again. Somebody has called it the atmosphere of hell;” and I
  144. believe it is so.
  145. <br />
  146. For a fortnight the doctor did not speak to me. He thought to mortify me;
  147. to make me feel that I had disgraced myself by receiving the honorable
  148. addresses of a respectable colored man, in preference to the base
  149. proposals of a white man. But though his lips disdained to address me, his
  150. eyes were very loquacious. No animal ever watched its prey more narrowly
  151. than he watched me. He knew that I could write, though he had failed to
  152. make me read his letters; and he was now troubled lest I should exchange
  153. letters with another man. After a while he became weary of silence; and I
  154. was sorry for it. One morning, as he passed through the hall, to leave the
  155. house, he contrived to thrust a note into my hand. I thought I had better
  156. read it, and spare myself the vexation of having him read it to me. It
  157. expressed regret for the blow he had given me, and reminded me that I
  158. myself was wholly to blame for it. He hoped I had become convinced of the
  159. injury I was doing myself by incurring his displeasure. He wrote that he
  160. had made up his mind to go to Louisiana; that he should take several
  161. slaves with him, and intended I should be one of the number. My mistress
  162. would remain where she was; therefore I should have nothing to fear from
  163. that quarter. If I merited kindness from him, he assured me that it would
  164. be lavishly bestowed. He begged me to think over the matter, and answer
  165. the following day.
  166. <br />
  167. The next morning I was called to carry a pair of scissors to his room. I
  168. laid them on the table, with the letter beside them. He thought it was my
  169. answer, and did not call me back. I went as usual to attend my young
  170. mistress to and from school. He met me in the street, and ordered me to
  171. stop at his office on my way back. When I entered, he showed me his
  172. letter, and asked me why I had not answered it. I replied, I am your
  173. daughters property, and it is in your power to send me, or take me,
  174. wherever you please.” He said he was very glad to find me so willing to
  175. go, and that we should start early in the autumn. He had a large practice
  176. in the town, and I rather thought he had made up the story merely to
  177. frighten me. However that might be, I was determined that I would never go
  178. to Louisiana with him.
  179. <br />
  180. Summer passed away, and early in the autumn Dr. Flints eldest son was
  181. sent to Louisiana to examine the country, with a view to emigrating. That
  182. news did not disturb me. I knew very well that I should not be sent with
  183. . That I had not been taken to the plantation before this time,
  184. was owing to the fact that his son was there. He was jealous of his son;
  185. and jealousy of the overseer had kept him from punishing me by sending me
  186. into the fields to work. Is it strange, that I was not proud of these
  187. protectors? As for the overseer, he was a man for whom I had less respect
  188. than I had for a bloodhound.
  189. <br />
  190. Young Mr. Flint did not bring back a favorable report of Louisiana, and I
  191. heard no more of that scheme. Soon after this, my lover met me at the
  192. corner of the street, and I stopped to speak to him. Looking up, I saw my
  193. master watching us from his window. I hurried home, trembling with fear. I
  194. was sent for, immediately, to go to his room. He met me with a blow. When
  195. is mistress to be married?” said he, in a sneering tone. A shower of oaths
  196. and imprecations followed. How thankful I was that my lover was a free
  197. man! that my tyrant had no power to flog him for speaking to me in the
  198. street!
  199. <br />
  200. Again and again I revolved in my mind how all this would end. There was no
  201. hope that the doctor would consent to sell me on any terms. He had an iron
  202. will, and was determined to keep me, and to conquer me. My lover was an
  203. intelligent and religious man. Even if he could have obtained permission
  204. to marry me while I was a slave, the marriage would give him no power to
  205. protect me from my master. It would have made him miserable to witness the
  206. insults I should have been subjected to. And then, if we had children, I
  207. knew they must follow the condition of the mother.” What a terrible
  208. blight that would be on the heart of a free, intelligent father! For
  209. sake, I felt that I ought not to link his fate with my own unhappy
  210. destiny. He was going to Savannah to see about a little property left him
  211. by an uncle; and hard as it was to bring my feelings to it, I earnestly
  212. entreated him not to come back. I advised him to go to the Free States,
  213. where his tongue would not be tied, and where his intelligence would be of
  214. more avail to him. He left me, still hoping the day would come when I
  215. could be bought. With me the lamp of hope had gone out. The dream of my
  216. girlhood was over. I felt lonely and desolate.
  217. <br />
  218. Still I was not stripped of all. I still had my good grandmother, and my
  219. affectionate brother. When he put his arms round my neck, and looked into
  220. my eyes, as if to read there the troubles I dared not tell, I felt that I
  221. still had something to love. But even that pleasant emotion was chilled by
  222. the reflection that he might be torn from me at any moment, by some sudden
  223. freak of my master. If he had known how we loved each other, I think he
  224. would have exulted in separating us. We often planned together how we
  225. could get to the north. But, as William remarked, such things are easier
  226. said than done. My movements were very closely watched, and we had no
  227. means of getting any money to defray our expenses. As for grandmother, she
  228. was strongly opposed to her childrens undertaking any such project. She
  229. had not forgotten poor Benjamins sufferings, and she was afraid that if
  230. another child tried to escape, he would have a similar or a worse fate. To
  231. me, nothing seemed more dreadful than my present life. I said to myself,
  232. William be free. He shall go to the north, and I will follow
  233. him.” Many a slave sister has formed the same plans.
  234. <br />

  1. [ ]()

  1. VIII. What Slaves Are Taught To Think Of The North.
  2. Slaveholders pride themselves upon being honorable men; but if you were to
  3. hear the enormous lies they tell their slaves, you would have small
  4. respect for their veracity. I have spoken plain English. Pardon me. I
  5. cannot use a milder term. When they visit the north, and return home, they
  6. tell their slaves of the runaways they have seen, and describe them to be
  7. in the most deplorable condition. A slaveholder once told me that he had
  8. seen a runaway friend of mine in New York, and that she besought him to
  9. take her back to her master, for she was literally dying of starvation;
  10. that many days she had only one cold potato to eat, and at other times
  11. could get nothing at all. He said he refused to take her, because he knew
  12. her master would not thank him for bringing such a miserable wretch to his
  13. house. He ended by saying to me, This is the punishment she brought on
  14. herself for running away from a kind master.”
  15. <br />
  16. This whole story was false. I afterwards staid with that friend in New
  17. York, and found her in comfortable circumstances. She had never thought of
  18. such a thing as wishing to go back to slavery. Many of the slaves believe
  19. such stories, and think it is not worth while to exchange slavery for such
  20. a hard kind of freedom. It is difficult to persuade such that freedom
  21. could make them useful men, and enable them to protect their wives and
  22. children. If those heathen in our Christian land had as much teaching as
  23. some Hindoos, they would think otherwise. They would know that liberty is
  24. more valuable than life. They would begin to understand their own
  25. capabilities, and exert themselves to become men and women.
  26. <br />
  27. But while the Free States sustain a law which hurls fugitives back into
  28. slavery, how can the slaves resolve to become men? There are some who
  29. strive to protect wives and daughters from the insults of their masters;
  30. but those who have such sentiments have had advantages above the general
  31. mass of slaves. They have been partially civilized and Christianized by
  32. favorable circumstances. Some are bold enough to such
  33. sentiments to their masters. O, that there were more of them!
  34. <br />
  35. Some poor creatures have been so brutalized by the lash that they will
  36. sneak out of the way to give their masters free access to their wives and
  37. daughters. Do you think this proves the black man to belong to an inferior
  38. order of beings? What would be, if you had been born and
  39. brought up a slave, with generations of slaves for ancestors? I admit that
  40. the black man inferior. But what is it that makes him so? It is
  41. the ignorance in which white men compel him to live; it is the torturing
  42. whip that lashes manhood out of him; it is the fierce bloodhounds of the
  43. South, and the scarcely less cruel human bloodhounds of the north, who
  44. enforce the Fugitive Slave Law. do the work.
  45. <br />
  46. Southern gentlemen indulge in the most contemptuous expressions about the
  47. Yankees, while they, on their part, consent to do the vilest work for
  48. them, such as the ferocious bloodhounds and the despised negro-hunters are
  49. employed to do at home. When southerners go to the north, they are proud
  50. to do them honor; but the northern man is not welcome south of Mason and
  51. Dixons line, unless he suppresses every thought and feeling at variance
  52. with their peculiar institution.” Nor is it enough to be silent. The
  53. masters are not pleased, unless they obtain a greater degree of
  54. subservience than that; and they are generally accommodated. Do they
  55. respect the northerner for this? I trow not. Even the slaves despise a
  56. northern man with southern principles;” and that is the class they
  57. generally see. When northerners go to the south to reside, they prove very
  58. apt scholars. They soon imbibe the sentiments and disposition of their
  59. neighbors, and generally go beyond their teachers. Of the two, they are
  60. proverbially the hardest masters.
  61. <br />
  62. They seem to satisfy their consciences with the doctrine that God created
  63. the Africans to be slaves. What a libel upon the heavenly Father, who
  64. made of one blood all nations of men!” And then who Africans?
  65. Who can measure the amount of Anglo-Saxon blood coursing in the veins of
  66. American slaves?
  67. <br />
  68. I have spoken of the pains slaveholders take to give their slaves a bad
  69. opinion of the north; but, notwithstanding this, intelligent slaves are
  70. aware that they have many friends in the Free States. Even the most
  71. ignorant have some confused notions about it. They knew that I could read;
  72. and I was often asked if I had seen any thing in the newspapers about
  73. white folks over in the big north, who were trying to get their freedom
  74. for them. Some believe that the abolitionists have already made them free,
  75. and that it is established by law, but that their masters prevent the law
  76. from going into effect. One woman begged me to get a newspaper and read it
  77. over. She said her husband told her that the black people had sent word to
  78. the queen of Merica that they were all slaves; that she didnt believe
  79. it, and went to Washington city to see the president about it. They
  80. quarrelled; she drew her sword upon him, and swore that he should help her
  81. to make them all free.
  82. <br />
  83. That poor, ignorant woman thought that America was governed by a Queen, to
  84. whom the President was subordinate. I wish the President was subordinate
  85. to Queen Justice.
  86. <br />

  1. [ ]()

  1. IX. Sketches Of Neighboring Slaveholders.
  2. There was a planter in the country, not far from us, whom I will call Mr.
  3. Litch. He was an ill-bred, uneducated man, but very wealthy. He had six
  4. hundred slaves, many of whom he did not know by sight. His extensive
  5. plantation was managed by well-paid overseers. There was a jail and a
  6. whipping post on his grounds; and whatever cruelties were perpetrated
  7. there, they passed without comment. He was so effectually screened by his
  8. great wealth that he was called to no account for his crimes, not even for
  9. murder.
  10. <br />
  11. Various were the punishments resorted to. A favorite one was to tie a rope
  12. round a mans body, and suspend him from the ground. A fire was kindled
  13. over him, from which was suspended a piece of fat pork. As this cooked,
  14. the scalding drops of fat continually fell on the bare flesh. On his own
  15. plantation, he required very strict obedience to the eighth commandment.
  16. But depredations on the neighbors were allowable, provided the culprit
  17. managed to evade detection or suspicion. If a neighbor brought a charge of
  18. theft against any of his slaves, he was browbeaten by the master, who
  19. assured him that his slaves had enough of every thing at home, and had no
  20. inducement to steal. No sooner was the neighbors back turned, than the
  21. accused was sought out, and whipped for his lack of discretion. If a slave
  22. stole from him even a pound of meat or a peck of corn, if detection
  23. followed, he was put in chains and imprisoned, and so kept till his form
  24. was attenuated by hunger and suffering.
  25. <br />
  26. A freshet once bore his wine cellar and meat house miles away from the
  27. plantation. Some slaves followed, and secured bits of meat and bottles of
  28. wine. Two were detected; a ham and some liquor being found in their huts.
  29. They were summoned by their master. No words were used, but a club felled
  30. them to the ground. A rough box was their coffin, and their interment was
  31. a dogs burial. Nothing was said.
  32. <br />
  33. Murder was so common on his plantation that he feared to be alone after
  34. nightfall. He might have believed in ghosts.
  35. <br />
  36. His brother, if not equal in wealth, was at least equal in cruelty. His
  37. bloodhounds were well trained. Their pen was spacious, and a terror to the
  38. slaves. They were let loose on a runway, and, if they tracked him, they
  39. literally tore the flesh from his bones. When this slaveholder died, his
  40. shrieks and groans were so frightful that they appalled his own friends.
  41. His last words were, I am going to hell; bury my money with me.”
  42. <br />
  43. After death his eyes remained open. To press the lids down, silver dollars
  44. were laid on them. These were buried with him. From this circumstance, a
  45. rumor went abroad that his coffin was filled with money. Three times his
  46. grave was opened, and his coffin taken out. The last time, his body was
  47. found on the ground, and a flock of buzzards were pecking at it. He was
  48. again interred, and a sentinel set over his grave. The perpetrators were
  49. never discovered.
  50. <br />
  51. Cruelty is contagious in uncivilized communities. Mr. Conant, a neighbor
  52. of Mr. Litch, returned from town one evening in a partial state of
  53. intoxication. His body servant gave him some offence. He was divested of
  54. his clothes, except his shirt, whipped, and tied to a large tree in front
  55. of the house. It was a stormy night in winter. The wind blew bitterly
  56. cold, and the boughs of the old tree crackled under falling sleet. A
  57. member of the family, fearing he would freeze to death, begged that he
  58. might be taken down; but the master would not relent. He remained there
  59. three hours; and, when he was cut down, he was more dead than alive.
  60. Another slave, who stole a pig from this master, to appease his hunger,
  61. was terribly flogged. In desperation, he tried to run away. But at the end
  62. of two miles, he was so faint with loss of blood, he thought he was dying.
  63. He had a wife, and he longed to see her once more. Too sick to walk, he
  64. crept back that long distance on his hands and knees. When he reached his
  65. masters, it was night. He had not strength to rise and open the gate. He
  66. moaned, and tried to call for help. I had a friend living in the same
  67. family. At last his cry reached her. She went out and found the prostrate
  68. man at the gate. She ran back to the house for assistance, and two men
  69. returned with her. They carried him in, and laid him on the floor. The
  70. back of his shirt was one clot of blood. By means of lard, my friend
  71. loosened it from the raw flesh. She bandaged him, gave him cool drink, and
  72. left him to rest. The master said he deserved a hundred more lashes. When
  73. his own labor was stolen from him, he had stolen food to appease his
  74. hunger. This was his crime.
  75. <br />
  76. Another neighbor was a Mrs. Wade. At no hour of the day was there
  77. cessation of the lash on her premises. Her labors began with the dawn, and
  78. did not cease till long after nightfall. The barn was her particular place
  79. of torture. There she lashed the slaves with the might of a man. An old
  80. slave of hers once said to me, It is hell in mississ house. Pears I can
  81. never get out. Day and night I prays to die.”
  82. <br />
  83. The mistress died before the old woman, and, when dying, entreated her
  84. husband not to permit any one of her slaves to look on her after death. A
  85. slave who had nursed her children, and had still a child in her care,
  86. watched her chance, and stole with it in her arms to the room where lay
  87. her dead mistress. She gazed a while on her, then raised her hand and
  88. dealt two blows on her face, saying, as she did so, The devil is got you
  89. !” She forgot that the child was looking on. She had just begun
  90. to talk; and she said to her father, I did see ma, and mammy did strike
  91. ma, so,” striking her own face with her little hand. The master was
  92. startled. He could not imagine how the nurse could obtain access to the
  93. room where the corpse lay; for he kept the door locked. He questioned her.
  94. She confessed that what the child had said was true, and told how she had
  95. procured the key. She was sold to Georgia.
  96. <br />
  97. In my childhood I knew a valuable slave, named Charity, and loved her, as
  98. all children did. Her young mistress married, and took her to Louisiana.
  99. Her little boy, James, was sold to a good sort of master. He became
  100. involved in debt, and James was sold again to a wealthy slaveholder, noted
  101. for his cruelty. With this man he grew up to manhood, receiving the
  102. treatment of a dog. After a severe whipping, to save himself from further
  103. infliction of the lash, with which he was threatened, he took to the
  104. woods. He was in a most miserable conditioncut by the cowskin, half
  105. naked, half starved, and without the means of procuring a crust of bread.
  106. <br />
  107. Some weeks after his escape, he was captured, tied, and carried back to
  108. his masters plantation. This man considered punishment in his jail, on
  109. bread and water, after receiving hundreds of lashes, too mild for the poor
  110. slaves offence. Therefore he decided, after the overseer should have
  111. whipped him to his satisfaction, to have him placed between the screws of
  112. the cotton gin, to stay as long as he had been in the woods. This wretched
  113. creature was cut with the whip from his head to his feet, then washed with
  114. strong brine, to prevent the flesh from mortifying, and make it heal
  115. sooner than it otherwise would. He was then put into the cotton gin, which
  116. was screwed down, only allowing him room to turn on his side when he could
  117. not lie on his back. Every morning a slave was sent with a piece of bread
  118. and bowl of water, which was placed within reach of the poor fellow. The
  119. slave was charged, under penalty of severe punishment, not to speak to
  120. him.
  121. <br />
  122. Four days passed, and the slave continued to carry the bread and water. On
  123. the second morning, he found the bread gone, but the water untouched. When
  124. he had been in the press four days and five night, the slave informed his
  125. master that the water had not been used for four mornings, and that
  126. horrible stench came from the gin house. The overseer was sent to examine
  127. into it. When the press was unscrewed, the dead body was found partly
  128. eaten by rats and vermin. Perhaps the rats that devoured his bread had
  129. gnawed him before life was extinct. Poor Charity! Grandmother and I often
  130. asked each other how her affectionate heart would bear the news, if she
  131. should ever hear of the murder of her son. We had known her husband, and
  132. knew that James was like him in manliness and intelligence. These were the
  133. qualities that made it so hard for him to be a plantation slave. They put
  134. him into a rough box, and buried him with less feeling than would have
  135. been manifested for an old house dog. Nobody asked any questions. He was a
  136. slave; and the feeling was that the master had a right to do what he
  137. pleased with his own property. And what did care for the value
  138. of a slave? He had hundreds of them. When they had finished their daily
  139. toil, they must hurry to eat their little morsels, and be ready to
  140. extinguish their pine knots before nine oclock, when the overseer went
  141. his patrol rounds. He entered every cabin, to see that men and their wives
  142. had gone to bed together, lest the men, from over-fatigue, should fall
  143. asleep in the chimney corner, and remain there till the morning horn
  144. called them to their daily task. Women are considered of no value, unless
  145. they continually increase their owners stock. They are put on a par with
  146. animals. This same master shot a woman through the head, who had run away
  147. and been brought back to him. No one called him to account for it. If a
  148. slave resisted being whipped, the bloodhounds were unpacked, and set upon
  149. him, to tear his flesh from his bones. The master who did these things was
  150. highly educated, and styled a perfect gentleman. He also boasted the name
  151. and standing of a Christian, though Satan never had a truer follower.
  152. <br />
  153. I could tell of more slaveholders as cruel as those I have described. They
  154. are not exceptions to the general rule. I do not say there are no humane
  155. slaveholders. Such characters do exist, notwithstanding the hardening
  156. influences around them. But they are like angels visitsfew and
  157. far between.”
  158. <br />
  159. I knew a young lady who was one of these rare specimens. She was an
  160. orphan, and inherited as slaves a woman and her six children. Their father
  161. was a free man. They had a comfortable home of their own, parents and
  162. children living together. The mother and eldest daughter served their
  163. mistress during the day, and at night returned to their dwelling, which
  164. was on the premises. The young lady was very pious, and there was some
  165. reality in her religion. She taught her slaves to lead pure lives, and
  166. wished them to enjoy the fruit of their own industry. religion
  167. was not a garb put on for Sunday, and laid aside till Sunday returned
  168. again. The eldest daughter of the slave mother was promised in marriage to
  169. a free man; and the day before the wedding this good mistress emancipated
  170. her, in order that her marriage might have the sanction of .
  171. <br />
  172. Report said that this young lady cherished an unrequited affection for a
  173. man who had resolved to marry for wealth. In the course of time a rich
  174. uncle of hers died. He left six thousand dollars to his two sons by a
  175. colored woman, and the remainder of his property to this orphan niece. The
  176. metal soon attracted the magnet. The lady and her weighty purse became
  177. his. She offered to manumit her slavestelling them that her
  178. marriage might make unexpected changes in their destiny, and she wished to
  179. insure their happiness. They refused to take their freedom, saying that
  180. she had always been their best friend, and they could not be so happy any
  181. where as with her. I was not surprised. I had often seen them in their
  182. comfortable home, and thought that the whole town did not contain a
  183. happier family. They had never felt slavery; and, when it was too late,
  184. they were convinced of its reality.
  185. <br />
  186. When the new master claimed this family as his property, the father became
  187. furious, and went to his mistress for protection. I can do nothing for
  188. you now, Harry,” said she. I no longer have the power I had a week ago. I
  189. have succeeded in obtaining the freedom of your wife; but I cannot obtain
  190. it for your children.” The unhappy father swore that nobody should take
  191. his children from him. He concealed them in the woods for some days; but
  192. they were discovered and taken. The father was put in jail, and the two
  193. oldest boys sold to Georgia. One little girl, too young to be of service
  194. to her master, was left with the wretched mother. The other three were
  195. carried to their masters plantation. The eldest soon became a mother; and
  196. when the slaveholders wife looked at the babe, she wept bitterly. She
  197. knew that her own husband had violated the purity she had so carefully
  198. inculcated. She had a second child by her master, and then he sold her and
  199. his offspring to his brother. She bore two children to the brother and was
  200. sold again. The next sister went crazy. The life she was compelled to lead
  201. drove her mad. The third one became the mother of five daughters. Before
  202. the birth of the fourth the pious mistress died. To the last, she rendered
  203. every kindness to the slaves that her unfortunate circumstances permitted.
  204. She passed away peacefully, glad to close her eyes on a life which had
  205. been made so wretched by the man she loved.
  206. <br />
  207. This man squandered the fortune he had received, and sought to retrieve
  208. his affairs by a second marriage; but, having retired after a night of
  209. drunken debauch, he was found dead in the morning. He was called a good
  210. master; for he fed and clothed his slaves better than most masters, and
  211. the lash was not heard on his plantation so frequently as on many others.
  212. Had it not been for slavery, he would have been a better man, and his wife
  213. a happier woman.
  214. <br />
  215. No pen can give an adequate description of the all-pervading corruption
  216. produced by slavery. The slave girl is reared in an atmosphere of
  217. licentiousness and fear. The lash and the foul talk of her master and his
  218. sons are her teachers. When she is fourteen or fifteen, her owner, or his
  219. sons, or the overseer, or perhaps all of them, begin to bribe her with
  220. presents. If these fail to accomplish their purpose, she is whipped or
  221. starved into submission to their will. She may have had religious
  222. principles inculcated by some pious mother or grandmother, or some good
  223. mistress; she may have a lover, whose good opinion and peace of mind are
  224. dear to her heart; or the profligate men who have power over her may be
  225. exceedingly odious to her. But resistance is hopeless.
  226. The slaveholders sons are, of course, vitiated, even while boys, by the
  227. unclean influences every where around them. Nor do the masters daughters
  228. always escape. Severe retributions sometimes come upon him for the wrongs
  229. he does to the daughters of the slaves. The white daughters early hear
  230. their parents quarrelling about some female slave. Their curiosity is
  231. excited, and they soon learn the cause. They are attended by the young
  232. slave girls whom their father has corrupted; and they hear such talk as
  233. should never meet youthful ears, or any other ears. They know that the
  234. woman slaves are subject to their fathers authority in all things; and in
  235. some cases they exercise the same authority over the men slaves. I have
  236. myself seen the master of such a household whose head was bowed down in
  237. shame; for it was known in the neighborhood that his daughter had selected
  238. one of the meanest slaves on his plantation to be the father of his first
  239. grandchild. She did not make her advances to her equals, nor even to her
  240. fathers more intelligent servants. She selected the most brutalized, over
  241. whom her authority could be exercised with less fear of exposure. Her
  242. father, half frantic with rage, sought to revenge himself on the offending
  243. black man; but his daughter, foreseeing the storm that would arise, had
  244. given him free papers, and sent him out of the state.
  245. <br />
  246. In such cases the infant is smothered, or sent where it is never seen by
  247. any who know its history. But if the white parent is the ,
  248. instead of the mother, the offspring are unblushingly reared for the
  249. market. If they are girls, I have indicated plainly enough what will be
  250. their inevitable destiny.
  251. <br />
  252. You may believe what I say; for I write only that whereof I know. I was
  253. twenty-one years in that cage of obscene birds. I can testify, from my own
  254. experience and observation, that slavery is a curse to the whites as well
  255. as to the blacks. It makes white fathers cruel and sensual; the sons
  256. violent and licentious; it contaminates the daughters, and makes the wives
  257. wretched. And as for the colored race, it needs an abler pen than mine to
  258. describe the extremity of their sufferings, the depth of their
  259. degradation.
  260. <br />
  261. Yet few slaveholders seem to be aware of the widespread moral ruin
  262. occasioned by this wicked system. Their talk is of blighted cotton cropsnot
  263. of the blight on their childrens souls.
  264. <br />
  265. If you want to be fully convinced of the abominations of slavery, go on a
  266. southern plantation, and call yourself a negro trader. Then there will be
  267. no concealment; and you will see and hear things that will seem to you
  268. impossible among human beings with immortal souls.
  269. <br />

  1. [ ]()

  1. X. A Perilous Passage In The Slave Girls Life.
  2. After my lover went away, Dr. Flint contrived a new plan. He seemed to
  3. have an idea that my fear of my mistress was his greatest obstacle. In the
  4. blandest tones, he told me that he was going to build a small house for
  5. me, in a secluded place, four miles away from the town. I shuddered; but I
  6. was constrained to listen, while he talked of his intention to give me a
  7. home of my own, and to make a lady of me. Hitherto, I had escaped my
  8. dreaded fate, by being in the midst of people. My grandmother had already
  9. had high words with my master about me. She had told him pretty plainly
  10. what she thought of his character, and there was considerable gossip in
  11. the neighborhood about our affairs, to which the open-mouthed jealousy of
  12. Mrs. Flint contributed not a little. When my master said he was going to
  13. build a house for me, and that he could do it with little trouble and
  14. expense, I was in hopes something would happen to frustrate his scheme;
  15. but I soon heard that the house was actually begun. I vowed before my
  16. Maker that I would never enter it: I had rather toil on the plantation
  17. from dawn till dark; I had rather live and die in jail, than drag on, from
  18. day to day, through such a living death. I was determined that the master,
  19. whom I so hated and loathed, who had blighted the prospects of my youth,
  20. and made my life a desert, should not, after my long struggle with him,
  21. succeed at last in trampling his victim under his feet. I would do any
  22. thing, every thing, for the sake of defeating him. What I do?
  23. I thought and thought, till I became desperate, and made a plunge into the
  24. abyss.
  25. <br />
  26. And now, reader, I come to a period in my unhappy life, which I would
  27. gladly forget if I could. The remembrance fills me with sorrow and shame.
  28. It pains me to tell you of it; but I have promised to tell you the truth,
  29. and I will do it honestly, let it cost me what it may. I will not try to
  30. screen myself behind the plea of compulsion from a master; for it was not
  31. so. Neither can I plead ignorance or thoughtlessness. For years, my master
  32. had done his utmost to pollute my mind with foul images, and to destroy
  33. the pure principles inculcated by my grandmother, and the good mistress of
  34. my childhood. The influences of slavery had had the same effect on me that
  35. they had on other young girls; they had made me prematurely knowing,
  36. concerning the evil ways of the world. I knew what I did, and I did it
  37. with deliberate calculation.
  38. <br />
  39. But, O, ye happy women, whose purity has been sheltered from childhood,
  40. who have been free to choose the objects of your affection, whose homes
  41. are protected by law, do not judge the poor desolate slave girl too
  42. severely! If slavery had been abolished, I, also, could have married the
  43. man of my choice; I could have had a home shielded by the laws; and I
  44. should have been spared the painful task of confessing what I am now about
  45. to relate; but all my prospects had been blighted by slavery. I wanted to
  46. keep myself pure; and, under the most adverse circumstances, I tried hard
  47. to preserve my self-respect; but I was struggling alone in the powerful
  48. grasp of the demon Slavery; and the monster proved too strong for me. I
  49. felt as if I was forsaken by God and man; as if all my efforts must be
  50. frustrated; and I became reckless in my despair.
  51. <br />
  52. I have told you that Dr. Flints persecutions and his wifes jealousy had
  53. given rise to some gossip in the neighborhood. Among others, it chanced
  54. that a white unmarried gentleman had obtained some knowledge of the
  55. circumstances in which I was placed. He knew my grandmother, and often
  56. spoke to me in the street. He became interested for me, and asked
  57. questions about my master, which I answered in part. He expressed a great
  58. deal of sympathy, and a wish to aid me. He constantly sought opportunities
  59. to see me, and wrote to me frequently. I was a poor slave girl, only
  60. fifteen years old.
  61. <br />
  62. So much attention from a superior person was, of course, flattering; for
  63. human nature is the same in all. I also felt grateful for his sympathy,
  64. and encouraged by his kind words. It seemed to me a great thing to have
  65. such a friend. By degrees, a more tender feeling crept into my heart. He
  66. was an educated and eloquent gentleman; too eloquent, alas, for the poor
  67. slave girl who trusted in him. Of course I saw whither all this was
  68. tending. I knew the impassable gulf between us; but to be an object of
  69. interest to a man who is not married, and who is not her master, is
  70. agreeable to the pride and feelings of a slave, if her miserable situation
  71. has left her any pride or sentiment. It seems less degrading to give ones
  72. self, than to submit to compulsion. There is something akin to freedom in
  73. having a lover who has no control over you, except that which he gains by
  74. kindness and attachment. A master may treat you as rudely as he pleases,
  75. and you dare not speak; moreover, the wrong does not seem so great with an
  76. unmarried man, as with one who has a wife to be made unhappy. There may be
  77. sophistry in all this; but the condition of a slave confuses all
  78. principles of morality, and, in fact, renders the practice of them
  79. impossible.
  80. <br />
  81. When I found that my master had actually begun to build the lonely
  82. cottage, other feelings mixed with those I have described. Revenge, and
  83. calculations of interest, were added to flattered vanity and sincere
  84. gratitude for kindness. I knew nothing would enrage Dr. Flint so much as
  85. to know that I favored another, and it was something to triumph over my
  86. tyrant even in that small way. I thought he would revenge himself by
  87. selling me, and I was sure my friend, Mr. Sands, would buy me. He was a
  88. man of more generosity and feeling than my master, and I thought my
  89. freedom could be easily obtained from him. The crisis of my fate now came
  90. so near that I was desperate. I shuddered to think of being the mother of
  91. children that should be owned by my old tyrant. I knew that as soon as a
  92. new fancy took him, his victims were sold far off to get rid of them;
  93. especially if they had children. I had seen several women sold, with
  94. babies at the breast. He never allowed his offspring by slaves to remain
  95. long in sight of himself and his wife. Of a man who was not my master I
  96. could ask to have my children well supported; and in this case, I felt
  97. confident I should obtain the boon. I also felt quite sure that they would
  98. be made free. With all these thoughts revolving in my mind, and seeing no
  99. other way of escaping the doom I so much dreaded, I made a headlong
  100. plunge. Pity me, and pardon me, O virtuous reader! You never knew what it
  101. is to be a slave; to be entirely unprotected by law or custom; to have the
  102. laws reduce you to the condition of a chattel, entirely subject to the
  103. will of another. You never exhausted your ingenuity in avoiding the
  104. snares, and eluding the power of a hated tyrant; you never shuddered at
  105. the sound of his footsteps, and trembled within hearing of his voice. I
  106. know I did wrong. No one can feel it more sensibly than I do. The painful
  107. and humiliating memory will haunt me to my dying day. Still, in looking
  108. back, calmly, on the events of my life, I feel that the slave woman ought
  109. not to be judged by the same standard as others.
  110. <br />
  111. The months passed on. I had many unhappy hours. I secretly mourned over
  112. the sorrow I was bringing on my grandmother, who had so tried to shield me
  113. from harm. I knew that I was the greatest comfort of her old age, and that
  114. it was a source of pride to her that I had not degraded myself, like most
  115. of the slaves. I wanted to confess to her that I was no longer worthy of
  116. her love; but I could not utter the dreaded words.
  117. <br />
  118. As for Dr. Flint, I had a feeling of satisfaction and triumph in the
  119. thought of telling . From time to time he told me of his
  120. intended arrangements, and I was silent. At last, he came and told me the
  121. cottage was completed, and ordered me to go to it. I told him I would
  122. never enter it. He said, I have heard enough of such talk as that. You
  123. shall go, if you are carried by force; and you shall remain there.”
  124. <br />
  125. I replied, I will never go there. In a few months I shall be a mother.”
  126. <br />
  127. He stood and looked at me in dumb amazement, and left the house without a
  128. word. I thought I should be happy in my triumph over him. But now that the
  129. truth was out, and my relatives would hear of it, I felt wretched. Humble
  130. as were their circumstances, they had pride in my good character. Now, how
  131. could I look at them in the face? My self-respect was gone! I had resolved
  132. that I would be virtuous, though I was a slave. I had said, Let the storm
  133. beat! I will brave it till I die.” And now, how humiliated I felt!
  134. <br />
  135. I went to my grandmother. My lips moved to make confession, but the words
  136. stuck in my throat. I sat down in the shade of a tree at her door and
  137. began to sew. I think she saw something unusual was the matter with me.
  138. The mother of slaves is very watchful. She knows there is no security for
  139. her children. After they have entered their teens she lives in daily
  140. expectation of trouble. This leads to many questions. If the girl is of a
  141. sensitive nature, timidity keeps her from answering truthfully, and this
  142. well-meant course has a tendency to drive her from maternal counsels.
  143. Presently, in came my mistress, like a mad woman, and accused me
  144. concerning her husband. My grandmother, whose suspicions had been
  145. previously awakened, believed what she said. She exclaimed, O Linda! Has
  146. it come to this? I had rather see you dead than to see you as you now are.
  147. You are a disgrace to your dead mother.” She tore from my fingers my
  148. mothers wedding ring and her silver thimble. Go away!” she exclaimed,
  149. and never come to my house, again.” Her reproaches fell so hot and heavy,
  150. that they left me no chance to answer. Bitter tears, such as the eyes
  151. never shed but once, were my only answer. I rose from my seat, but fell
  152. back again, sobbing. She did not speak to me; but the tears were running
  153. down her furrowed cheeks, and they scorched me like fire. She had always
  154. been so kind to me! kind! How I longed to throw myself at her
  155. feet, and tell her all the truth! But she had ordered me to go, and never
  156. to come there again. After a few minutes, I mustered strength, and started
  157. to obey her. With what feelings did I now close that little gate, which I
  158. used to open with such an eager hand in my childhood! It closed upon me
  159. with a sound I never heard before.
  160. <br />
  161. Where could I go? I was afraid to return to my masters. I walked on
  162. recklessly, not caring where I went, or what would become of me. When I
  163. had gone four or five miles, fatigue compelled me to stop. I sat down on
  164. the stump of an old tree. The stars were shining through the boughs above
  165. me. How they mocked me, with their bright, calm light! The hours passed
  166. by, and as I sat there alone a chilliness and deadly sickness came over
  167. me. I sank on the ground. My mind was full of horrid thoughts. I prayed to
  168. die; but the prayer was not answered. At last, with great effort I roused
  169. myself, and walked some distance further, to the house of a woman who had
  170. been a friend of my mother. When I told her why I was there, she spoke
  171. soothingly to me; but I could not be comforted. I thought I could bear my
  172. shame if I could only be reconciled to my grandmother. I longed to open my
  173. heart to her. I thought if she could know the real state of the case, and
  174. all I had been bearing for years, she would perhaps judge me less harshly.
  175. My friend advised me to send for her. I did so; but days of agonizing
  176. suspense passed before she came. Had she utterly forsaken me? No. She came
  177. at last. I knelt before her, and told her the things that had poisoned my
  178. life; how long I had been persecuted; that I saw no way of escape; and in
  179. an hour of extremity I had become desperate. She listened in silence. I
  180. told her I would bear any thing and do any thing, if in time I had hopes
  181. of obtaining her forgiveness. I begged of her to pity me, for my dead
  182. mothers sake. And she did pity me. She did not say, I forgive you;” but
  183. she looked at me lovingly, with her eyes full of tears. She laid her old
  184. hand gently on my head, and murmured, Poor child! Poor child!”
  185. <br />

  1. [ ]()

  1. XI. The New Tie To Life.
  2. I returned to my good grandmothers house. She had an interview with Mr.
  3. Sands. When she asked him why he could not have left her one ewe lamb,—whether
  4. there were not plenty of slaves who did not care about character,—he
  5. made no answer, but he spoke kind and encouraging words. He promised to
  6. care for my child, and to buy me, be the conditions what they might.
  7. <br />
  8. I had not seen Dr. Flint for five days. I had never seen him since I made
  9. the avowal to him. He talked of the disgrace I had brought on myself; how
  10. I had sinned against my master, and mortified my old grandmother. He
  11. intimated that if I had accepted his proposals, he, as a physician, could
  12. have saved me from exposure. He even condescended to pity me. Could he
  13. have offered wormwood more bitter? He, whose persecutions had been the
  14. cause of my sin!
  15. <br />
  16. Linda,” said he, though you have been criminal towards me, I feel for
  17. you, and I can pardon you if you obey my wishes. Tell me whether the
  18. fellow you wanted to marry is the father of your child. If you deceive me,
  19. you shall feel the fires of hell.”
  20. <br />
  21. I did not feel as proud as I had done. My strongest weapon with him was
  22. gone. I was lowered in my own estimation, and had resolved to bear his
  23. abuse in silence. But when he spoke contemptuously of the lover who had
  24. always treated me honorably; when I remembered that but for I
  25. might have been a virtuous, free, and happy wife, I lost my patience. I
  26. have sinned against God and myself,” I replied; but not against you.”
  27. <br />
  28. He clinched his teeth, and muttered, Curse you!” He came towards me, with
  29. ill-suppressed rage, and exclaimed, You obstinate girl! I could grind
  30. your bones to powder! You have thrown yourself away on some worthless
  31. rascal. You are weak-minded, and have been easily persuaded by those who
  32. dont care a straw for you. The future will settle accounts between us.
  33. You are blinded now; but hereafter you will be convinced that your master
  34. was your best friend. My lenity towards you is a proof of it. I might have
  35. punished you in many ways. I might have whipped till you fell dead under
  36. the lash. But I wanted you to live; I would have bettered your condition.
  37. Others cannot do it. You are my slave. Your mistress, disgusted by your
  38. conduct, forbids you to return to the house; therefore I leave you here
  39. for the present; but I shall see you often. I will call to-morrow.”
  40. <br />
  41. He came with frowning brows, that showed a dissatisfied state of mind.
  42. After asking about my health, he inquired whether my board was paid, and
  43. who visited me. He then went on to say that he had neglected his duty;
  44. that as a physician there were certain things that he ought to have
  45. explained to me. Then followed talk such as would have made the most
  46. shameless blush. He ordered me to stand up before him. I obeyed. I
  47. command you,” said he, to tell me whether the father of your child is
  48. white or black.” I hesitated. Answer me this instant!” he exclaimed. I
  49. did answer. He sprang upon me like a wolf, and grabbed my arm as if he
  50. would have broken it. Do you love him?” said he, in a hissing tone.
  51. <br />
  52. I am thankful that I do not despise him,” I replied.
  53. <br />
  54. He raised his hand to strike me; but it fell again. I dont know what
  55. arrested the blow. He sat down, with lips tightly compressed. At last he
  56. spoke. I came here,” said he, to make you a friendly proposition; but
  57. your ingratitude chafes me beyond endurance. You turn aside all my good
  58. intentions towards you. I dont know what it is that keeps me from killing
  59. you.” Again he rose, as if he had a mind to strike me.
  60. <br />
  61. But he resumed. On one condition I will forgive your insolence and crime.
  62. You must henceforth have no communication of any kind with the father of
  63. your child. You must not ask any thing from him, or receive any thing from
  64. him. I will take care of you and your child. You had better promise this
  65. at once, and not wait till you are deserted by him. This is the last act
  66. of mercy I shall show towards you.”
  67. <br />
  68. I said something about being unwilling to have my child supported by a man
  69. who had cursed it and me also. He rejoined, that a woman who had sunk to
  70. my level had no right to expect any thing else. He asked, for the last
  71. time, would I accept his kindness? I answered that I would not.
  72. <br />
  73. Very well,” said he; then take the consequences of your wayward course.
  74. Never look to me for help. You are my slave, and shall always be my slave.
  75. I will never sell you, that you may depend upon.”
  76. <br />
  77. Hope died away in my heart as he closed the door after him. I had
  78. calculated that in his rage he would sell me to a slave-trader; and I knew
  79. the father of my child was on the watch to buy me.
  80. <br />
  81. About this time my uncle Phillip was expected to return from a voyage. The
  82. day before his departure I had officiated as bridesmaid to a young friend.
  83. My heart was then ill at ease, but my smiling countenance did not betray
  84. it. Only a year had passed; but what fearful changes it had wrought! My
  85. heart had grown gray in misery. Lives that flash in sunshine, and lives
  86. that are born in tears, receive their hue from circumstances. None of us
  87. know what a year may bring forth.
  88. <br />
  89. I felt no joy when they told me my uncle had come. He wanted to see me,
  90. though he knew what had happened. I shrank from him at first; but at last
  91. consented that he should come to my room. He received me as he always had
  92. done. O, how my heart smote me when I felt his tears on my burning cheeks!
  93. The words of my grandmother came to my mind,—“Perhaps your mother
  94. and father are taken from the evil days to come.” My disappointed heart
  95. could now praise God that it was so. But why, thought I, did my relatives
  96. ever cherish hopes for me? What was there to save me from the usual fate
  97. of slave girls? Many more beautiful and more intelligent than I had
  98. experienced a similar fate, or a far worse one. How could they hope that I
  99. should escape?
  100. <br />
  101. My uncles stay was short, and I was not sorry for it. I was too ill in
  102. mind and body to enjoy my friends as I had done. For some weeks I was
  103. unable to leave my bed. I could not have any doctor but my master, and I
  104. would not have him sent for. At last, alarmed by my increasing illness,
  105. they sent for him. I was very weak and nervous; and as soon as he entered
  106. the room, I began to scream. They told him my state was very critical. He
  107. had no wish to hasten me out of the world, and he withdrew.
  108. <br />
  109. When my babe was born, they said it was premature. It weighed only four
  110. pounds; but God let it live. I heard the doctor say I could not survive
  111. till morning. I had often prayed for death; but now I did not want to die,
  112. unless my child could die too. Many weeks passed before I was able to
  113. leave my bed. I was a mere wreck of my former self. For a year there was
  114. scarcely a day when I was free from chills and fever. My babe also was
  115. sickly. His little limbs were often racked with pain. Dr. Flint continued
  116. his visits, to look after my health; and he did not fail to remind me that
  117. my child was an addition to his stock of slaves.
  118. <br />
  119. I felt too feeble to dispute with him, and listened to his remarks in
  120. silence. His visits were less frequent; but his busy spirit could not
  121. remain quiet. He employed my brother in his office; and he was made the
  122. medium of frequent notes and messages to me. William was a bright lad, and
  123. of much use to the doctor. He had learned to put up medicines, to leech,
  124. cup, and bleed. He had taught himself to read and spell. I was proud of my
  125. brother, and the old doctor suspected as much. One day, when I had not
  126. seen him for several weeks, I heard his steps approaching the door. I
  127. dreaded the encounter, and hid myself. He inquired for me, of course; but
  128. I was nowhere to be found. He went to his office, and despatched William
  129. with a note. The color mounted to my brothers face when he gave it to me;
  130. and he said, Dont you hate me, Linda, for bringing you these things?” I
  131. told him I could not blame him; he was a slave, and obliged to obey his
  132. masters will. The note ordered me to come to his office. I went. He
  133. demanded to know where I was when he called. I told him I was at home. He
  134. flew into a passion, and said he knew better. Then he launched out upon
  135. his usual themes,—my crimes against him, and my ingratitude for his
  136. forbearance. The laws were laid down to me anew, and I was dismissed. I
  137. felt humiliated that my brother should stand by, and listen to such
  138. language as would be addressed only to a slave. Poor boy! He was powerless
  139. to defend me; but I saw the tears, which he vainly strove to keep back.
  140. The manifestation of feeling irritated the doctor. William could do
  141. nothing to please him. One morning he did not arrive at the office so
  142. early as usual; and that circumstance afforded his master an opportunity
  143. to vent his spleen. He was put in jail. The next day my brother sent a
  144. trader to the doctor, with a request to be sold. His master was greatly
  145. incensed at what he called his insolence. He said he had put him there, to
  146. reflect upon his bad conduct, and he certainly was not giving any evidence
  147. of repentance. For two days he harassed himself to find somebody to do his
  148. office work; but every thing went wrong without William. He was released,
  149. and ordered to take his old stand, with many threats, if he was not
  150. careful about his future behavior.
  151. <br />
  152. As the months passed on, my boy improved in health. When he was a year
  153. old, they called him beautiful. The little vine was taking deep root in my
  154. existence, though its clinging fondness excited a mixture of love and
  155. pain. When I was most sorely oppressed I found a solace in his smiles. I
  156. loved to watch his infant slumbers; but always there was a dark cloud over
  157. my enjoyment. I could never forget that he was a slave. Sometimes I wished
  158. that he might die in infancy. God tried me. My darling became very ill.
  159. The bright eyes grew dull, and the little feet and hands were so icy cold
  160. that I thought death had already touched them. I had prayed for his death,
  161. but never so earnestly as I now prayed for his life; and my prayer was
  162. heard. Alas, what mockery it is for a slave mother to try to pray back her
  163. dying child to life! Death is better than slavery. It was a sad thought
  164. that I had no name to give my child. His father caressed him and treated
  165. him kindly, whenever he had a chance to see him. He was not unwilling that
  166. he should bear his name; but he had no legal claim to it; and if I had
  167. bestowed it upon him, my master would have regarded it as a new crime, a
  168. new piece of insolence, and would, perhaps, revenge it on the boy. O, the
  169. serpent of Slavery has many and poisonous fangs!
  170. <br />

  1. [ ]()

  1. XII. Fear Of Insurrection.
  2. Not far from this time Nat Turners insurrection broke out; and the news
  3. threw our town into great commotion. Strange that they should be alarmed,
  4. when their slaves were so contented and happy”! But so it was.
  5. <br />
  6. It was always the custom to have a muster every year. On that occasion
  7. every white man shouldered his musket. The citizens and the so-called
  8. country gentlemen wore military uniforms. The poor whites took their
  9. places in the ranks in every-day dress, some without shoes, some without
  10. hats. This grand occasion had already passed; and when the slaves were
  11. told there was to be another muster, they were surprised and rejoiced.
  12. Poor creatures! They thought it was going to be a holiday. I was informed
  13. of the true state of affairs, and imparted it to the few I could trust.
  14. Most gladly would I have proclaimed it to every slave; but I dared not.
  15. All could not be relied on. Mighty is the power of the torturing lash.
  16. <br />
  17. By sunrise, people were pouring in from every quarter within twenty miles
  18. of the town. I knew the houses were to be searched; and I expected it
  19. would be done by country bullies and the poor whites. I knew nothing
  20. annoyed them so much as to see colored people living in comfort and
  21. respectability; so I made arrangements for them with especial care. I
  22. arranged every thing in my grandmothers house as neatly as possible. I
  23. put white quilts on the beds, and decorated some of the rooms with
  24. flowers. When all was arranged, I sat down at the window to watch. Far as
  25. my eye could reach, it rested on a motley crowd of soldiers. Drums and
  26. fifes were discoursing martial music. The men were divided into companies
  27. of sixteen, each headed by a captain. Orders were given, and the wild
  28. scouts rushed in every direction, wherever a colored face was to be found.
  29. <br />
  30. It was a grand opportunity for the low whites, who had no negroes of their
  31. own to scourge. They exulted in such a chance to exercise a little brief
  32. authority, and show their subserviency to the slaveholders; not reflecting
  33. that the power which trampled on the colored people also kept themselves
  34. in poverty, ignorance, and moral degradation. Those who never witnessed
  35. such scenes can hardly believe what I know was inflicted at this time on
  36. innocent men, women, and children, against whom there was not the
  37. slightest ground for suspicion. Colored people and slaves who lived in
  38. remote parts of the town suffered in an especial manner. In some cases the
  39. searchers scattered powder and shot among their clothes, and then sent
  40. other parties to find them, and bring them forward as proof that they were
  41. plotting insurrection. Every where men, women, and children were whipped
  42. till the blood stood in puddles at their feet. Some received five hundred
  43. lashes; others were tied hands and feet, and tortured with a bucking
  44. paddle, which blisters the skin terribly. The dwellings of the colored
  45. people, unless they happened to be protected by some influential white
  46. person, who was nigh at hand, were robbed of clothing and every thing else
  47. the marauders thought worth carrying away. All day long these unfeeling
  48. wretches went round, like a troop of demons, terrifying and tormenting the
  49. helpless. At night, they formed themselves into patrol bands, and went
  50. wherever they chose among the colored people, acting out their brutal
  51. will. Many women hid themselves in woods and swamps, to keep out of their
  52. way. If any of the husbands or fathers told of these outrages, they were
  53. tied up to the public whipping post, and cruelly scourged for telling lies
  54. about white men. The consternation was universal. No two people that had
  55. the slightest tinge of color in their faces dared to be seen talking
  56. together.
  57. <br />
  58. I entertained no positive fears about our household, because we were in
  59. the midst of white families who would protect us. We were ready to receive
  60. the soldiers whenever they came. It was not long before we heard the tramp
  61. of feet and the sound of voices. The door was rudely pushed open; and in
  62. they tumbled, like a pack of hungry wolves. They snatched at every thing
  63. within their reach. Every box, trunk, closet, and corner underwent a
  64. thorough examination. A box in one of the drawers containing some silver
  65. change was eagerly pounced upon. When I stepped forward to take it from
  66. them, one of the soldiers turned and said angrily, What dye foller us
  67. fur? Dye spose white folks is come to steal?”
  68. <br />
  69. I replied, You have come to search; but you have searched that box, and I
  70. will take it, if you please.”
  71. <br />
  72. At that moment I saw a white gentleman who was friendly to us; and I
  73. called to him, and asked him to have the goodness to come in and stay till
  74. the search was over. He readily complied. His entrance into the house
  75. brought in the captain of the company, whose business it was to guard the
  76. outside of the house, and see that none of the inmates left it. This
  77. officer was Mr. Litch, the wealthy slaveholder whom I mentioned, in the
  78. account of neighboring planters, as being notorious for his cruelty. He
  79. felt above soiling his hands with the search. He merely gave orders; and,
  80. if a bit of writing was discovered, it was carried to him by his ignorant
  81. followers, who were unable to read.
  82. <br />
  83. My grandmother had a large trunk of bedding and table cloths. When that
  84. was opened, there was a great shout of surprise; and one exclaimed,
  85. Whered the damned niggers git all dis sheet an table clarf?”
  86. <br />
  87. My grandmother, emboldened by the presence of our white protector said,
  88. You may be sure we didnt pilfer em from houses.”
  89. <br />
  90. Look here, mammy,” said a grim-looking fellow without any coat, you seem
  91. to feel mighty gran cause you got all them ere fixens. White folks
  92. oughter have em all.”
  93. <br />
  94. His remarks were interrupted by a chorus of voices shouting, Wes got
  95. em! Wes got em! Dis ere yaller gals got letters!”
  96. <br />
  97. There was a general rush for the supposed letter, which, upon examination,
  98. proved to be some verses written to me by a friend. In packing away my
  99. things, I had overlooked them. When their captain informed them of their
  100. contents, they seemed much disappointed. He inquired of me who wrote them.
  101. I told him it was one of my friends. Can you read them?” he asked. When I
  102. told him I could, he swore, and raved, and tore the paper into bits.
  103. Bring me all your letters!” said he, in commanding tone. I told him I had
  104. none. Dont be afraid,” he continued, in an insinuating way. Bring them
  105. all to me. Nobody shall do you any harm.” Seeing I did not move to obey
  106. him, his pleasant tone changed to oaths and threats. Who writes to you?
  107. half free niggers?” inquired he. I replied, O, no; most of my letters are
  108. from white people. Some request me to burn them after they are read, and
  109. some I destroy without reading.”
  110. <br />
  111. An exclamation of surprise from some of the company put a stop to our
  112. conversation. Some silver spoons which ornamented an old-fashioned buffet
  113. had just been discovered. My grandmother was in the habit of preserving
  114. fruit for many ladies in the town, and of preparing suppers for parties;
  115. consequently she had many jars of preserves. The closet that contained
  116. these was next invaded, and the contents tasted. One of them, who was
  117. helping himself freely, tapped his neighbor on the shoulder, and said,
  118. Wal done! Dont wonder de niggers want to kill all de white folks, when
  119. dey live on sarves [meaning preserves]. I stretched out my hand to take
  120. the jar, saying, You were not sent here to search for sweetmeats.”
  121. <br />
  122. And what we sent for?” said the captain, bristling up to me.
  123. I evaded the question.
  124. <br />
  125. The search of the house was completed, and nothing found to condemn us.
  126. They next proceeded to the garden, and knocked about every bush and vine,
  127. with no better success. The captain called his men together, and, after a
  128. short consultation, the order to march was given. As they passed out of
  129. the gate, the captain turned back, and pronounced a malediction on the
  130. house. He said it ought to be burned to the ground, and each of its
  131. inmates receive thirty-nine lashes. We came out of this affair very
  132. fortunately; not losing any thing except some wearing apparel.
  133. <br />
  134. Towards evening the turbulence increased. The soldiers, stimulated by
  135. drink, committed still greater cruelties. Shrieks and shouts continually
  136. rent the air. Not daring to go to the door, I peeped under the window
  137. curtain. I saw a mob dragging along a number of colored people, each white
  138. man, with his musket upraised, threatening instant death if they did not
  139. stop their shrieks. Among the prisoners was a respectable old colored
  140. minister. They had found a few parcels of shot in his house, which his
  141. wife had for years used to balance her scales. For this they were going to
  142. shoot him on Court House Green. What a spectacle was that for a civilized
  143. country! A rabble, staggering under intoxication, assuming to be the
  144. administrators of justice!
  145. <br />
  146. The better class of the community exerted their influence to save the
  147. innocent, persecuted people; and in several instances they succeeded, by
  148. keeping them shut up in jail till the excitement abated. At last the white
  149. citizens found that their own property was not safe from the lawless
  150. rabble they had summoned to protect them. They rallied the drunken swarm,
  151. drove them back into the country, and set a guard over the town.
  152. <br />
  153. The next day, the town patrols were commissioned to search colored people
  154. that lived out of the city; and the most shocking outrages were committed
  155. with perfect impunity. Every day for a fortnight, if I looked out, I saw
  156. horsemen with some poor panting negro tied to their saddles, and compelled
  157. by the lash to keep up with their speed, till they arrived at the jail
  158. yard. Those who had been whipped too unmercifully to walk were washed with
  159. brine, tossed into a cart, and carried to jail. One black man, who had not
  160. fortitude to endure scourging, promised to give information about the
  161. conspiracy. But it turned out that he knew nothing at all. He had not even
  162. heard the name of Nat Turner. The poor fellow had, however, made up a
  163. story, which augmented his own sufferings and those of the colored people.
  164. <br />
  165. The day patrol continued for some weeks, and at sundown a night guard was
  166. substituted. Nothing at all was proved against the colored people, bond or
  167. free. The wrath of the slaveholders was somewhat appeased by the capture
  168. of Nat Turner. The imprisoned were released. The slaves were sent to their
  169. masters, and the free were permitted to return to their ravaged homes.
  170. Visiting was strictly forbidden on the plantations. The slaves begged the
  171. privilege of again meeting at their little church in the woods, with their
  172. burying ground around it. It was built by the colored people, and they had
  173. no higher happiness than to meet there and sing hymns together, and pour
  174. out their hearts in spontaneous prayer. Their request was denied, and the
  175. church was demolished. They were permitted to attend the white churches, a
  176. certain portion of the galleries being appropriated to their use. There,
  177. when every body else had partaken of the communion, and the benediction
  178. had been pronounced, the minister said, Come down, now, my colored
  179. friends.” They obeyed the summons, and partook of the bread and wine, in
  180. commemoration of the meek and lowly Jesus, who said, God is your Father,
  181. and all ye are brethren.”
  182. <br />

  [ ]()

  XIII. The Church And Slavery.


  After the alarm caused by Nat Turner’s insurrection had subsided, the
  slaveholders came to the conclusion that it would be well to give the
  slaves enough of religious instruction to keep them from murdering their
  masters. The Episcopal clergyman offered to hold a separate service on
  Sundays for their benefit. His colored members were very few, and also
  very respectable—a fact which I presume had some weight with him.
  The difficulty was to decide on a suitable place for them to worship. The
  Methodist and Baptist churches admitted them in the afternoon; but their
  carpets and cushions were not so costly as those at the Episcopal church.
  It was at last decided that they should meet at the house of a free
  colored man, who was a member.
<br />
  I was invited to attend, because I could read. Sunday evening came, and,
  trusting to the cover of night, I ventured out. I rarely ventured out by
  daylight, for I always went with fear, expecting at every turn to
  encounter Dr. Flint, who was sure to turn me back, or order me to his
  office to inquire where I got my bonnet, or some other article of dress.
  When the Rev. Mr. Pike came, there were some twenty persons present. The
  reverend gentleman knelt in prayer, then seated himself, and requested all
  present, who could read, to open their books, while he gave out the
  portions he wished them to repeat or respond to.
<br />
  His text was, “Servants, be obedient to them that are your masters
  according to the flesh, with fear and trembling, in singleness of your
  heart, as unto Christ.”
<br />
  Pious Mr. Pike brushed up his hair till it stood upright, and, in deep,
  solemn tones, began: “Hearken, ye servants! Give strict heed unto my
  words. You are rebellious sinners. Your hearts are filled with all manner
  of evil. ’Tis the devil who tempts you. God is angry with you, and will
  surely punish you, if you don’t forsake your wicked ways. You that live in
  town are eyeservants behind your master’s back. Instead of serving your
  masters faithfully, which is pleasing in the sight of your heavenly
  Master, you are idle, and shirk your work. God sees you. You tell lies.
  God hears you. Instead of being engaged in worshipping him, you are hidden
  away somewhere, feasting on your master’s substance; tossing
  coffee-grounds with some wicked fortuneteller, or cutting cards with
  another old hag. Your masters may not find you out, but God sees you, and
  will punish you. O, the depravity of your hearts! When your master’s work
  is done, are you quietly together, thinking of the goodness of God to such
  sinful creatures? No; you are quarrelling, and tying up little bags of
  roots to bury under the doorsteps to poison each other with. God sees you.
  You men steal away to every grog shop to sell your master’s corn, that you
  may buy rum to drink. God sees you. You sneak into the back streets, or
  among the bushes, to pitch coppers. Although your masters may not find you
  out, God sees you; and he will punish you. You must forsake your sinful
  ways, and be faithful servants. Obey your old master and your young master—your
  old mistress and your young mistress. If you disobey your earthly master,
  you offend your heavenly Master. You must obey God’s commandments. When
  you go from here, don’t stop at the corners of the streets to talk, but go
  directly home, and let your master and mistress see that you have come.”
<br />
  The benediction was pronounced. We went home, highly amused at brother
  Pike’s gospel teaching, and we determined to hear him again. I went the
  next Sabbath evening, and heard pretty much a repetition of the last
  discourse. At the close of the meeting, Mr. Pike informed us that he found
  it very inconvenient to meet at the friend’s house, and he should be glad
  to see us, every Sunday evening, at his own kitchen.
<br />
  I went home with the feeling that I had heard the Reverend Mr. Pike for
  the last time. Some of his members repaired to his house, and found that
  the kitchen sported two tallow candles; the first time, I am sure, since
  its present occupant owned it, for the servants never had any thing but
  pine knots. It was so long before the reverend gentleman descended from
  his comfortable parlor that the slaves left, and went to enjoy a Methodist
  shout. They never seem so happy as when shouting and singing at religious
  meetings. Many of them are sincere, and nearer to the gate of heaven than
  sanctimonious Mr. Pike, and other long-faced Christians, who see wounded
  Samaritans, and pass by on the other side.
<br />
  The slaves generally compose their own songs and hymns; and they do not
  trouble their heads much about the measure. They often sing the following
  verses:




  I well remember one occasion when I attended a Methodist class meeting. I
  went with a burdened spirit, and happened to sit next a poor, bereaved
  mother, whose heart was still heavier than mine. The class leader was the
  town constable—a man who bought and sold slaves, who whipped his
  brethren and sisters of the church at the public whipping post, in jail or
  out of jail. He was ready to perform that Christian office any where for
  fifty cents. This white-faced, black-hearted brother came near us, and
  said to the stricken woman, “Sister, can’t you tell us how the Lord deals
  with your soul? Do you love him as you did formerly?”
<br />
  She rose to her feet, and said, in piteous tones, “My Lord and Master,
  help me! My load is more than I can bear. God has hid himself from me, and
  I am left in darkness and misery.” Then, striking her breast, she
  continued, “I can’t tell you what is in here! They’ve got all my children.
  Last week they took the last one. God only knows where they’ve sold her.
  They let me have her sixteen years, and then—O! O! Pray for her
  brothers and sisters! I’ve got nothing to live for now. God make my time
  short!”
<br />
  She sat down, quivering in every limb. I saw that constable class leader
  become crimson in the face with suppressed laughter, while he held up his
  handkerchief, that those who were weeping for the poor woman’s calamity
  might not see his merriment. Then, with assumed gravity, he said to the
  bereaved mother, “Sister, pray to the Lord that every dispensation of his
  divine will may be sanctified to the good of your poor needy soul!”
<br />
  The congregation struck up a hymn, and sung as though they were as free as
  the birds that warbled round us,—




  Precious are such moments to the poor slaves. If you were to hear them at
  such times, you might think they were happy. But can that hour of singing
  and shouting sustain them through the dreary week, toiling without wages,
  under constant dread of the lash?
<br />
  The Episcopal clergyman, who, ever since my earliest recollection, had
  been a sort of god among the slaveholders, concluded, as his family was
  large, that he must go where money was more abundant. A very different
  clergyman took his place. The change was very agreeable to the colored
  people, who said, “God has sent us a good man this time.” They loved him,
  and their children followed him for a smile or a kind word. Even the
  slaveholders felt his influence. He brought to the rectory five slaves.
  His wife taught them to read and write, and to be useful to her and
  themselves. As soon as he was settled, he turned his attention to the
  needy slaves around him. He urged upon his parishioners the duty of having
  a meeting expressly for them every Sunday, with a sermon adapted to their
  comprehension. After much argument and importunity, it was finally agreed
  that they might occupy the gallery of the church on Sunday evenings. Many
  colored people, hitherto unaccustomed to attend church, now gladly went to
  hear the gospel preached. The sermons were simple, and they understood
  them. Moreover, it was the first time they had ever been addressed as
  human beings. It was not long before his white parishioners began to be
  dissatisfied. He was accused of preaching better sermons to the negroes
  than he did to them. He honestly confessed that he bestowed more pains
  upon those sermons than upon any others; for the slaves were reared in
  such ignorance that it was a difficult task to adapt himself to their
  comprehension. Dissensions arose in the parish. Some wanted he should
  preach to them in the evening, and to the slaves in the afternoon. In the
  midst of these disputings his wife died, after a very short illness. Her
  slaves gathered round her dying bed in great sorrow. She said, “I have
  tried to do you good and promote your happiness; and if I have failed, it
  has not been for want of interest in your welfare. Do not weep for me; but
  prepare for the new duties that lie before you. I leave you all free. May
  we meet in a better world.” Her liberated slaves were sent away, with
  funds to establish them comfortably. The colored people will long bless
  the memory of that truly Christian woman. Soon after her death her husband
  preached his farewell sermon, and many tears were shed at his departure.
<br />
  Several years after, he passed through our town and preached to his former
  congregation. In his afternoon sermon he addressed the colored people. “My
  friends,” said he, “it affords me great happiness to have an opportunity
  of speaking to you again. For two years I have been striving to do
  something for the colored people of my own parish; but nothing is yet
  accomplished. I have not even preached a sermon to them. Try to live
  according to the word of God, my friends. Your skin is darker than mine;
  but God judges men by their hearts, not by the color of their skins.” This
  was strange doctrine from a southern pulpit. It was very offensive to
  slaveholders. They said he and his wife had made fools of their slaves,
  and that he preached like a fool to the negroes.
<br />
  I knew an old black man, whose piety and childlike trust in God were
  beautiful to witness. At fifty-three years old he joined the Baptist
  church. He had a most earnest desire to learn to read. He thought he
  should know how to serve God better if he could only read the Bible. He
  came to me, and begged me to teach him. He said he could not pay me, for
  he had no money; but he would bring me nice fruit when the season for it
  came. I asked him if he didn’t know it was contrary to law; and that
  slaves were whipped and imprisoned for teaching each other to read. This
  brought the tears into his eyes. “Don’t be troubled, uncle Fred,” said I.
  “I have no thoughts of refusing to teach you. I only told you of the law,
  that you might know the danger, and be on your guard.” He thought he could
  plan to come three times a week without its being suspected. I selected a
  quiet nook, where no intruder was likely to penetrate, and there I taught
  him his A, B, C. Considering his age, his progress was astonishing. As
  soon as he could spell in two syllables he wanted to spell out words in
  the Bible. The happy smile that illuminated his face put joy into my
  heart. After spelling out a few words, he paused, and said, “Honey, it
  ’pears when I can read dis good book I shall be nearer to God. White man
  is got all de sense. He can larn easy. It ain’t easy for ole black man
  like me. I only wants to read dis book, dat I may know how to live; den I
  hab no fear ’bout dying.”
<br />
  I tried to encourage him by speaking of the rapid progress he had made.
  “Hab patience, child,” he replied. “I larns slow.”
<br />
  I had no need of patience. His gratitude, and the happiness imparted, were
  more than a recompense for all my trouble.
<br />
  At the end of six months he had read through the New Testament, and could
  find any text in it. One day, when he had recited unusually well, I said,
  “Uncle Fred, how do you manage to get your lessons so well?”
<br />
  “Lord bress you, chile,” he replied. “You nebber gibs me a lesson dat I
  don’t pray to God to help me to understan’ what I spells and what I reads.
  And he  help me, chile. Bress his holy name!”
<br />
  There are thousands, who, like good uncle Fred, are thirsting for the
  water of life; but the law forbids it, and the churches withhold it. They
  send the Bible to heathen abroad, and neglect the heathen at home. I am
  glad that missionaries go out to the dark corners of the earth; but I ask
  them not to overlook the dark corners at home. Talk to American
  slaveholders as you talk to savages in Africa. Tell  it was
  wrong to traffic in men. Tell them it is sinful to sell their own
  children, and atrocious to violate their own daughters. Tell them that all
  men are brethren, and that man has no right to shut out the light of
  knowledge from his brother. Tell them they are answerable to God for
  sealing up the Fountain of Life from souls that are thirsting for it.
<br />
  There are men who would gladly undertake such missionary work as this;
  but, alas! their number is small. They are hated by the south, and would
  be driven from its soil, or dragged to prison to die, as others have been
  before them. The field is ripe for the harvest, and awaits the reapers.
  Perhaps the great grandchildren of uncle Fred may have freely imparted to
  them the divine treasures, which he sought by stealth, at the risk of the
  prison and the scourge.
<br />
  Are doctors of divinity blind, or are they hypocrites? I suppose some are
  the one, and some the other; but I think if they felt the interest in the
  poor and the lowly, that they ought to feel, they would not be so 
  blinded. A clergyman who goes to the south, for the first time, has
  usually some feeling, however vague, that slavery is wrong. The
  slaveholder suspects this, and plays his game accordingly. He makes
  himself as agreeable as possible; talks on theology, and other kindred
  topics. The reverend gentleman is asked to invoke a blessing on a table
  loaded with luxuries. After dinner he walks round the premises, and sees
  the beautiful groves and flowering vines, and the comfortable huts of
  favored household slaves. The southerner invites him to talk with those
  slaves. He asks them if they want to be free, and they say, “O, no,
  massa.” This is sufficient to satisfy him. He comes home to publish a
  “South Side View of Slavery,” and to complain of the exaggerations of
  abolitionists. He assures people that he has been to the south, and seen
  slavery for himself; that it is a beautiful “patriarchal institution;”
  that the slaves don’t want their freedom; that they have hallelujah
  meetings and other religious privileges.
<br />
  What does  know of the half-starved wretches toiling from dawn
  till dark on the plantations? of mothers shrieking for their children,
  torn from their arms by slave-traders? of young girls dragged down into
  moral filth? of pools of blood around the whipping post? of hounds trained
  to tear human flesh? of men screwed into cotton gins to die? The
  slaveholder showed him none of these things, and the slaves dared not tell
  of them if he had asked them.
<br />
  There is a great difference between Christianity and religion at the
  south. If a man goes to the communion table, and pays money into the
  treasury of the church, no matter if it be the price of blood, he is
  called religious. If a pastor has offspring by a woman not his wife, the
  church dismiss him, if she is a white woman; but if she is colored, it
  does not hinder his continuing to be their good shepherd.
<br />
  When I was told that Dr. Flint had joined the Episcopal church, I was much
  surprised. I supposed that religion had a purifying effect on the
  character of men; but the worst persecutions I endured from him were after
  he was a communicant. The conversation of the doctor, the day after he had
  been confirmed, certainly gave  no indication that he had
  “renounced the devil and all his works.” In answer to some of his usual
  talk, I reminded him that he had just joined the church. “Yes, Linda,”
  said he. “It was proper for me to do so. I am getting in years, and my
  position in society requires it, and it puts an end to all the damned
  slang. You would do well to join the church, too, Linda.”
<br />
  “There are sinners enough in it already,” rejoined I. “If I could be
  allowed to live like a Christian, I should be glad.”
<br />
  “You can do what I require; and if you are faithful to me, you will be as
  virtuous as my wife,” he replied.
<br />
  I answered that the Bible didn’t say so.
<br />
  His voice became hoarse with rage. “How dare you preach to me about your
  infernal Bible!” he exclaimed. “What right have you, who are my negro, to
  talk to me about what you would like and what you wouldn’t like? I am your
  master, and you shall obey me.”
<br />
  No wonder the slaves sing,—



  [ ]()

  XIV. Another Link To Life.


  I had not returned to my master’s house since the birth of my child. The
  old man raved to have me thus removed from his immediate power; but his
  wife vowed, by all that was good and great, she would kill me if I came
  back; and he did not doubt her word. Sometimes he would stay away for a
  season. Then he would come and renew the old threadbare discourse about
  his forbearance and my ingratitude. He labored, most unnecessarily, to
  convince me that I had lowered myself. The venomous old reprobate had no
  need of descanting on that theme. I felt humiliated enough. My unconscious
  babe was the ever-present witness of my shame. I listened with silent
  contempt when he talked about my having forfeited  good opinion;
  but I shed bitter tears that I was no longer worthy of being respected by
  the good and pure. Alas! slavery still held me in its poisonous grasp.
  There was no chance for me to be respectable. There was no prospect of
  being able to lead a better life.
<br />
  Sometimes, when my master found that I still refused to accept what he
  called his kind offers, he would threaten to sell my child. “Perhaps that
  will humble you,” said he.
<br />
  Humble ! Was I not already in the dust? But his threat lacerated
  my heart. I knew the law gave him power to fulfil it; for slaveholders
  have been cunning enough to enact that “the child shall follow the
  condition of the ,” not of the , thus taking
  care that licentiousness shall not interfere with avarice. This reflection
  made me clasp my innocent babe all the more firmly to my heart. Horrid
  visions passed through my mind when I thought of his liability to fall
  into the slave-trader’s hands. I wept over him, and said, “O my child!
  perhaps they will leave you in some cold cabin to die, and then throw you
  into a hole, as if you were a dog.”
<br />
  When Dr. Flint learned that I was again to be a mother, he was exasperated
  beyond measure. He rushed from the house, and returned with a pair of
  shears. I had a fine head of hair; and he often railed about my pride of
  arranging it nicely. He cut every hair close to my head, storming and
  swearing all the time. I replied to some of his abuse, and he struck me.
  Some months before, he had pitched me down stairs in a fit of passion; and
  the injury I received was so serious that I was unable to turn myself in
  bed for many days. He then said, “Linda, I swear by God I will never raise
  my hand against you again;” but I knew that he would forget his promise.
<br />
  After he discovered my situation, he was like a restless spirit from the
  pit. He came every day; and I was subjected to such insults as no pen can
  describe. I would not describe them if I could; they were too low, too
  revolting. I tried to keep them from my grandmother’s knowledge as much as
  I could. I knew she had enough to sadden her life, without having my
  troubles to bear. When she saw the doctor treat me with violence, and
  heard him utter oaths terrible enough to palsy a man’s tongue, she could
  not always hold her peace. It was natural and motherlike that she should
  try to defend me; but it only made matters worse.
<br />
  When they told me my new-born babe was a girl, my heart was heavier than
  it had ever been before. Slavery is terrible for men; but it is far more
  terrible for women. Superadded to the burden common to all, 
  have wrongs, and sufferings, and mortifications peculiarly their own.
<br />
  Dr. Flint had sworn that he would make me suffer, to my last day, for this
  new crime against , as he called it; and as long as he had me in
  his power he kept his word. On the fourth day after the birth of my babe,
  he entered my room suddenly, and commanded me to rise and bring my baby to
  him. The nurse who took care of me had gone out of the room to prepare
  some nourishment, and I was alone. There was no alternative. I rose, took
  up my babe, and crossed the room to where he sat. “Now stand there,” said
  he, “till I tell you to go back!” My child bore a strong resemblance to
  her father, and to the deceased Mrs. Sands, her grandmother. He noticed
  this; and while I stood before him, trembling with weakness, he heaped
  upon me and my little one every vile epithet he could think of. Even the
  grandmother in her grave did not escape his curses. In the midst of his
  vituperations I fainted at his feet. This recalled him to his senses. He
  took the baby from my arms, laid it on the bed, dashed cold water in my
  face, took me up, and shook me violently, to restore my consciousness
  before any one entered the room. Just then my grandmother came in, and he
  hurried out of the house. I suffered in consequence of this treatment; but
  I begged my friends to let me die, rather than send for the doctor. There
  was nothing I dreaded so much as his presence. My life was spared; and I
  was glad for the sake of my little ones. Had it not been for these ties to
  life, I should have been glad to be released by death, though I had lived
  only nineteen years.
<br />
  Always it gave me a pang that my children had no lawful claim to a name.
  Their father offered his; but, if I had wished to accept the offer, I
  dared not while my master lived. Moreover, I knew it would not be accepted
  at their baptism. A Christian name they were at least entitled to; and we
  resolved to call my boy for our dear good Benjamin, who had gone far away
  from us.
<br />
  My grandmother belonged to the church; and she was very desirous of having
  the children christened. I knew Dr. Flint would forbid it, and I did not
  venture to attempt it. But chance favored me. He was called to visit a
  patient out of town, and was obliged to be absent during Sunday. “Now is
  the time,” said my grandmother; “we will take the children to church, and
  have them christened.”
<br />
  When I entered the church, recollections of my mother came over me, and I
  felt subdued in spirit. There she had presented me for baptism, without
  any reason to feel ashamed. She had been married, and had such legal
  rights as slavery allows to a slave. The vows had at least been sacred to
  , and she had never violated them. I was glad she was not alive,
  to know under what different circumstances her grandchildren were
  presented for baptism. Why had my lot been so different from my mother’s?
   master had died when she was a child; and she remained with her
  mistress till she married. She was never in the power of any master; and
  thus she escaped one class of the evils that generally fall upon slaves.
<br />
  When my baby was about to be christened, the former mistress of my father
  stepped up to me, and proposed to give it her Christian name. To this I
  added the surname of my father, who had himself no legal right to it; for
  my grandfather on the paternal side was a white gentleman. What tangled
  skeins are the genealogies of slavery! I loved my father; but it mortified
  me to be obliged to bestow his name on my children.
<br />
  When we left the church, my father’s old mistress invited me to go home
  with her. She clasped a gold chain round my baby’s neck. I thanked her for
  this kindness; but I did not like the emblem. I wanted no chain to be
  fastened on my daughter, not even if its links were of gold. How earnestly
  I prayed that she might never feel the weight of slavery’s chain, whose
  iron entereth into the soul!
<br />

  [ ]()

  XV. Continued Persecutions.


  My children grew finely; and Dr. Flint would often say to me, with an
  exulting smile. “These brats will bring me a handsome sum of money one of
  these days.”
<br />
  I thought to myself that, God being my helper, they should never pass into
  his hands. It seemed to me I would rather see them killed than have them
  given up to his power. The money for the freedom of myself and my children
  could be obtained; but I derived no advantage from that circumstance. Dr.
  Flint loved money, but he loved power more. After much discussion, my
  friends resolved on making another trial. There was a slaveholder about to
  leave for Texas, and he was commissioned to buy me. He was to begin with
  nine hundred dollars, and go up to twelve. My master refused his offers.
  “Sir,” said he, “she don’t belong to me. She is my daughter’s property,
  and I have no right to sell her. I mistrust that you come from her
  paramour. If so, you may tell him that he cannot buy her for any money;
  neither can he buy her children.”
<br />
  The doctor came to see me the next day, and my heart beat quicker as he
  entered. I never had seen the old man tread with so majestic a step. He
  seated himself and looked at me with withering scorn. My children had
  learned to be afraid of him. The little one would shut her eyes and hide
  her face on my shoulder whenever she saw him; and Benny, who was now
  nearly five years old, often inquired, “What makes that bad man come here
  so many times? Does he want to hurt us?” I would clasp the dear boy in my
  arms, trusting that he would be free before he was old enough to solve the
  problem. And now, as the doctor sat there so grim and silent, the child
  left his play and came and nestled up by me. At last my tormentor spoke.
  “So you are left in disgust, are you?” said he. “It is no more than I
  expected. You remember I told you years ago that you would be treated so.
  So he is tired of you? Ha! ha! ha! The virtuous madam don’t like to hear
  about it, does she? Ha! ha! ha!” There was a sting in his calling me
  virtuous madam. I no longer had the power of answering him as I had
  formerly done. He continued: “So it seems you are trying to get up another
  intrigue. Your new paramour came to me, and offered to buy you; but you
  may be assured you will not succeed. You are mine; and you shall be mine
  for life. There lives no human being that can take you out of slavery. I
  would have done it; but you rejected my kind offer.”
<br />
  I told him I did not wish to get up any intrigue; that I had never seen
  the man who offered to buy me.
<br />
  “Do you tell me I lie?” exclaimed he, dragging me from my chair. “Will you
  say again that you never saw that man?”
<br />
  I answered, “I do say so.”
<br />
  He clinched my arm with a volley of oaths. Ben began to scream, and I told
  him to go to his grandmother.
<br />
  “Don’t you stir a step, you little wretch!” said he. The child drew nearer
  to me, and put his arms round me, as if he wanted to protect me. This was
  too much for my enraged master. He caught him up and hurled him across the
  room. I thought he was dead, and rushed towards him to take him up.
<br />
  “Not yet!” exclaimed the doctor. “Let him lie there till he comes to.”
<br />
  “Let me go! Let me go!” I screamed, “or I will raise the whole house.” I
  struggled and got away; but he clinched me again. Somebody opened the
  door, and he released me. I picked up my insensible child, and when I
  turned my tormentor was gone. Anxiously, I bent over the little form, so
  pale and still; and when the brown eyes at last opened, I don’t know
  whether I was very happy. All the doctor’s former persecutions were
  renewed. He came morning, noon, and night. No jealous lover ever watched a
  rival more closely than he watched me and the unknown slaveholder, with
  whom he accused me of wishing to get up an intrigue. When my grandmother
  was out of the way he searched every room to find him.
<br />
  In one of his visits, he happened to find a young girl, whom he had sold
  to a trader a few days previous. His statement was, that he sold her
  because she had been too familiar with the overseer. She had had a bitter
  life with him, and was glad to be sold. She had no mother, and no near
  ties. She had been torn from all her family years before. A few friends
  had entered into bonds for her safety, if the trader would allow her to
  spend with them the time that intervened between her sale and the
  gathering up of his human stock. Such a favor was rarely granted. It saved
  the trader the expense of board and jail fees, and though the amount was
  small, it was a weighty consideration in a slave-trader’s mind.
<br />
  Dr. Flint always had an aversion to meeting slaves after he had sold them.
  He ordered Rose out of the house; but he was no longer her master, and she
  took no notice of him. For once the crushed Rose was the conqueror. His
  gray eyes flashed angrily upon her; but that was the extent of his power.
  “How came this girl here?” he exclaimed. “What right had you to allow it,
  when you knew I had sold her?”
<br />
  I answered, “This is my grandmother’s house, and Rose came to see her. I
  have no right to turn any body out of doors, that comes here for honest
  purposes.”
<br />
  He gave me the blow that would have fallen upon Rose if she had still been
  his slave. My grandmother’s attention had been attracted by loud voices,
  and she entered in time to see a second blow dealt. She was not a woman to
  let such an outrage, in her own house, go unrebuked. The doctor undertook
  to explain that I had been insolent. Her indignant feelings rose higher
  and higher, and finally boiled over in words. “Get out of my house!” she
  exclaimed. “Go home, and take care of your wife and children, and you will
  have enough to do, without watching my family.”
<br />
  He threw the birth of my children in her face, and accused her of
  sanctioning the life I was leading. She told him I was living with her by
  compulsion of his wife; that he needn’t accuse her, for he was the one to
  blame; he was the one who had caused all the trouble. She grew more and
  more excited as she went on. “I tell you what, Dr. Flint,” said she, “you
  ain’t got many more years to live, and you’d better be saying your
  prayers. It will take ’em all, and more too, to wash the dirt off your
  soul.”
<br />
  “Do you know whom you are talking to?” he exclaimed.
<br />
  She replied, “Yes, I know very well who I am talking to.”
<br />
  He left the house in a great rage. I looked at my grandmother. Our eyes
  met. Their angry expression had passed away, but she looked sorrowful and
  weary—weary of incessant strife. I wondered that it did not lessen
  her love for me; but if it did she never showed it. She was always kind,
  always ready to sympathize with my troubles. There might have been peace
  and contentment in that humble home if it had not been for the demon
  Slavery.
<br />
  The winter passed undisturbed by the doctor. The beautiful spring came;
  and when Nature resumes her loveliness, the human soul is apt to revive
  also. My drooping hopes came to life again with the flowers. I was
  dreaming of freedom again; more for my children’s sake than my own. I
  planned and I planned. Obstacles hit against plans. There seemed no way of
  overcoming them; and yet I hoped.
<br />
  Back came the wily doctor. I was not at home when he called. A friend had
  invited me to a small party, and to gratify her I went. To my great
  consternation, a messenger came in haste to say that Dr. Flint was at my
  grandmother’s, and insisted on seeing me. They did not tell him where I
  was, or he would have come and raised a disturbance in my friend’s house.
  They sent me a dark wrapper, I threw it on and hurried home. My speed did
  not save me; the doctor had gone away in anger. I dreaded the morning, but
  I could not delay it; it came, warm and bright. At an early hour the
  doctor came and asked me where I had been last night. I told him. He did
  not believe me, and sent to my friend’s house to ascertain the facts. He
  came in the afternoon to assure me he was satisfied that I had spoken the
  truth. He seemed to be in a facetious mood, and I expected some jeers were
  coming. “I suppose you need some recreation,” said he, “but I am surprised
  at your being there, among those negroes. It was not the place for .
  Are you  to visit such people?”
<br />
  I understood this covert fling at the white gentleman who was my friend;
  but I merely replied, “I went to visit my friends, and any company they
  keep is good enough for me.”
<br />
  He went on to say, “I have seen very little of you of late, but my
  interest in you is unchanged. When I said I would have no more mercy on
  you I was rash. I recall my words. Linda, you desire freedom for yourself
  and your children, and you can obtain it only through me. If you agree to
  what I am about to propose, you and they shall be free. There must be no
  communication of any kind between you and their father. I will procure a
  cottage, where you and the children can live together. Your labor shall be
  light, such as sewing for my family. Think what is offered you, Linda—a
  home and freedom! Let the past be forgotten. If I have been harsh with you
  at times, your willfulness drove me to it. You know I exact obedience from
  my own children, and I consider you as yet a child.”
<br />
  He paused for an answer, but I remained silent. “Why don’t you speak?”
  said he. “What more do you wait for?”
<br />
  “Nothing, sir.”
<br />
  “Then you accept my offer?”
<br />
  “No, sir.”
<br />
  His anger was ready to break loose; but he succeeded in curbing it, and
  replied, “You have answered without thought. But I must let you know there
  are two sides to my proposition; if you reject the bright side, you will
  be obliged to take the dark one. You must either accept my offer, or you
  and your children shall be sent to your young master’s plantation, there
  to remain till your young mistress is married; and your children shall
  fare like the rest of the negro children. I give you a week to consider
  it.”
<br />
  He was shrewd; but I knew he was not to be trusted. I told him I was ready
  to give my answer now.
<br />
  “I will not receive it now,” he replied. “You act too much from impulse.
  Remember that you and your children can be free a week from to-day if you
  choose.”
<br />
  On what a monstrous chance hung the destiny of my children! I knew that my
  master’s offer was a snare, and that if I entered it escape would be
  impossible. As for his promise, I knew him so well that I was sure if he
  gave me free papers, they would be so managed as to have no legal value.
  The alternative was inevitable. I resolved to go to the plantation. But
  then I thought how completely I should be in his power, and the prospect
  was appalling. Even if I should kneel before him, and implore him to spare
  me, for the sake of my children, I knew he would spurn me with his foot,
  and my weakness would be his triumph.
<br />
  Before the week expired, I heard that young Mr. Flint was about to be
  married to a lady of his own stamp. I foresaw the position I should occupy
  in his establishment. I had once been sent to the plantation for
  punishment, and fear of the son had induced the father to recall me very
  soon. My mind was made up; I was resolved that I would foil my master and
  save my children, or I would perish in the attempt. I kept my plans to
  myself; I knew that friends would try to dissuade me from them, and I
  would not wound their feelings by rejecting their advice.
<br />
  On the decisive day the doctor came, and said he hoped I had made a wise
  choice.
<br />
  “I am ready to go to the plantation, sir,” I replied.
<br />
  “Have you thought how important your decision is to your children?” said
  he.
<br />
  I told him I had.
<br />
  “Very well. Go to the plantation, and my curse go with you,” he replied.
  “Your boy shall be put to work, and he shall soon be sold; and your girl
  shall be raised for the purpose of selling well. Go your own ways!” He
  left the room with curses, not to be repeated.
<br />
  As I stood rooted to the spot, my grandmother came and said, “Linda,
  child, what did you tell him?”
<br />
  I answered that I was going to the plantation.
<br />
  “ you go?” said she. “Can’t something be done to stop it?”
<br />
  I told her it was useless to try; but she begged me not to give up. She
  said she would go to the doctor, and remind him how long and how
  faithfully she had served in the family, and how she had taken her own
  baby from her breast to nourish his wife. She would tell him I had been
  out of the family so long they would not miss me; that she would pay them
  for my time, and the money would procure a woman who had more strength for
  the situation than I had. I begged her not to go; but she persisted in
  saying, “He will listen to , Linda.” She went, and was treated as
  I expected. He coolly listened to what she said, but denied her request.
  He told her that what he did was for my good, that my feelings were
  entirely above my situation, and that on the plantation I would receive
  treatment that was suitable to my behavior.
<br />
  My grandmother was much cast down. I had my secret hopes; but I must fight
  my battle alone. I had a woman’s pride, and a mother’s love for my
  children; and I resolved that out of the darkness of this hour a brighter
  dawn should rise for them. My master had power and law on his side; I had
  a determined will. There is might in each.
<br />

  [ ]()

  XVI. Scenes At The Plantation.


  Early the next morning I left my grandmother’s with my youngest child. My
  boy was ill, and I left him behind. I had many sad thoughts as the old
  wagon jolted on. Hitherto, I had suffered alone; now, my little one was to
  be treated as a slave. As we drew near the great house, I thought of the
  time when I was formerly sent there out of revenge. I wondered for what
  purpose I was now sent. I could not tell. I resolved to obey orders so far
  as duty required; but within myself, I determined to make my stay as short
  as possible. Mr. Flint was waiting to receive us, and told me to follow
  him up stairs to receive orders for the day. My little Ellen was left
  below in the kitchen. It was a change for her, who had always been so
  carefully tended. My young master said she might amuse herself in the
  yard. This was kind of him, since the child was hateful to his sight. My
  task was to fit up the house for the reception of the bride. In the midst
  of sheets, tablecloths, towels, drapery, and carpeting, my head was as
  busy planning, as were my fingers with the needle. At noon I was allowed
  to go to Ellen. She had sobbed herself to sleep. I heard Mr. Flint say to
  a neighbor, “I’ve got her down here, and I’ll soon take the town notions
  out of her head. My father is partly to blame for her nonsense. He ought
  to have broke her in long ago.” The remark was made within my hearing, and
  it would have been quite as manly to have made it to my face. He 
  said things to my face which might, or might not, have surprised his
  neighbor if he had known of them. He was “a chip of the old block.”
<br />
  I resolved to give him no cause to accuse me of being too much of a lady,
  so far as work was concerned. I worked day and night, with wretchedness
  before me. When I lay down beside my child, I felt how much easier it
  would be to see her die than to see her master beat her about, as I daily
  saw him beat other little ones. The spirit of the mothers was so crushed
  by the lash, that they stood by, without courage to remonstrate. How much
  more must I suffer, before I should be “broke in” to that degree?
<br />
  I wished to appear as contented as possible. Sometimes I had an
  opportunity to send a few lines home; and this brought up recollections
  that made it difficult, for a time, to seem calm and indifferent to my
  lot. Notwithstanding my efforts, I saw that Mr. Flint regarded me with a
  suspicious eye. Ellen broke down under the trials of her new life.
  Separated from me, with no one to look after her, she wandered about, and
  in a few days cried herself sick. One day, she sat under the window where
  I was at work, crying that weary cry which makes a mother’s heart bleed. I
  was obliged to steel myself to bear it. After a while it ceased. I looked
  out, and she was gone. As it was near noon, I ventured to go down in
  search of her. The great house was raised two feet above the ground. I
  looked under it, and saw her about midway, fast asleep. I crept under and
  drew her out. As I held her in my arms, I thought how well it would be for
  her if she never waked up; and I uttered my thought aloud. I was startled
  to hear some one say, “Did you speak to me?” I looked up, and saw Mr.
  Flint standing beside me. He said nothing further, but turned, frowning,
  away. That night he sent Ellen a biscuit and a cup of sweetened milk. This
  generosity surprised me. I learned afterwards, that in the afternoon he
  had killed a large snake, which crept from under the house; and I supposed
  that incident had prompted his unusual kindness.
<br />
  The next morning the old cart was loaded with shingles for town. I put
  Ellen into it, and sent her to her grandmother. Mr. Flint said I ought to
  have asked his permission. I told him the child was sick, and required
  attention which I had no time to give. He let it pass; for he was aware
  that I had accomplished much work in a little time.
<br />
  I had been three weeks on the plantation, when I planned a visit home. It
  must be at night, after every body was in bed. I was six miles from town,
  and the road was very dreary. I was to go with a young man, who, I knew,
  often stole to town to see his mother. One night, when all was quiet, we
  started. Fear gave speed to our steps, and we were not long in performing
  the journey. I arrived at my grandmother’s. Her bed room was on the first
  floor, and the window was open, the weather being warm. I spoke to her and
  she awoke. She let me in and closed the window, lest some late passer-by
  should see me. A light was brought, and the whole household gathered round
  me, some smiling and some crying. I went to look at my children, and
  thanked God for their happy sleep. The tears fell as I leaned over them.
  As I moved to leave, Benny stirred. I turned back, and whispered, “Mother
  is here.” After digging at his eyes with his little fist, they opened, and
  he sat up in bed, looking at me curiously. Having satisfied himself that
  it was I, he exclaimed, “O mother! you ain’t dad, are you? They didn’t cut
  off your head at the plantation, did they?”
<br />
  My time was up too soon, and my guide was waiting for me. I laid Benny
  back in his bed, and dried his tears by a promise to come again soon.
  Rapidly we retraced our steps back to the plantation. About half way we
  were met by a company of four patrols. Luckily we heard their horse’s
  hoofs before they came in sight, and we had time to hide behind a large
  tree. They passed, hallooing and shouting in a manner that indicated a
  recent carousal. How thankful we were that they had not their dogs with
  them! We hastened our footsteps, and when we arrived on the plantation we
  heard the sound of the hand-mill. The slaves were grinding their corn. We
  were safely in the house before the horn summoned them to their labor. I
  divided my little parcel of food with my guide, knowing that he had lost
  the chance of grinding his corn, and must toil all day in the field.
<br />
  Mr. Flint often took an inspection of the house, to see that no one was
  idle. The entire management of the work was trusted to me, because he knew
  nothing about it; and rather than hire a superintendent he contented
  himself with my arrangements. He had often urged upon his father the
  necessity of having me at the plantation to take charge of his affairs,
  and make clothes for the slaves; but the old man knew him too well to
  consent to that arrangement.
<br />
  When I had been working a month at the plantation, the great aunt of Mr.
  Flint came to make him a visit. This was the good old lady who paid fifty
  dollars for my grandmother, for the purpose of making her free, when she
  stood on the auction block. My grandmother loved this old lady, whom we
  all called Miss Fanny. She often came to take tea with us. On such
  occasions the table was spread with a snow-white cloth, and the china cups
  and silver spoons were taken from the old-fashioned buffet. There were hot
  muffins, tea rusks, and delicious sweetmeats. My grandmother kept two
  cows, and the fresh cream was Miss Fanny’s delight. She invariably
  declared that it was the best in town. The old ladies had cosey times
  together. They would work and chat, and sometimes, while talking over old
  times, their spectacles would get dim with tears, and would have to be
  taken off and wiped. When Miss Fanny bade us good by, her bag was filled
  with grandmother’s best cakes, and she was urged to come again soon.
<br />
  There had been a time when Dr. Flint’s wife came to take tea with us, and
  when her children were also sent to have a feast of “Aunt Marthy’s” nice
  cooking. But after I became an object of her jealousy and spite, she was
  angry with grandmother for giving a shelter to me and my children. She
  would not even speak to her in the street. This wounded my grandmother’s
  feelings, for she could not retain ill will against the woman whom she had
  nourished with her milk when a babe. The doctor’s wife would gladly have
  prevented our intercourse with Miss Fanny if she could have done it, but
  fortunately she was not dependent on the bounty of the Flints. She had
  enough to be independent; and that is more than can ever be gained from
  charity, however lavish it may be.
<br />
  Miss Fanny was endeared to me by many recollections, and I was rejoiced to
  see her at the plantation. The warmth of her large, loyal heart made the
  house seem pleasanter while she was in it. She staid a week, and I had
  many talks with her. She said her principal object in coming was to see
  how I was treated, and whether any thing could be done for me. She
  inquired whether she could help me in any way. I told her I believed not.
  She condoled with me in her own peculiar way; saying she wished that I and
  all my grandmother’s family were at rest in our graves, for not until then
  should she feel any peace about us. The good old soul did not dream that I
  was planning to bestow peace upon her, with regard to myself and my
  children; not by death, but by securing our freedom.
<br />
  Again and again I had traversed those dreary twelve miles, to and from the
  town; and all the way, I was meditating upon some means of escape for
  myself and my children. My friends had made every effort that ingenuity
  could devise to effect our purchase, but all their plans had proved
  abortive. Dr. Flint was suspicious, and determined not to loosen his grasp
  upon us. I could have made my escape alone; but it was more for my
  helpless children than for myself that I longed for freedom. Though the
  boon would have been precious to me, above all price, I would not have
  taken it at the expense of leaving them in slavery. Every trial I endured,
  every sacrifice I made for their sakes, drew them closer to my heart, and
  gave me fresh courage to beat back the dark waves that rolled and rolled
  over me in a seemingly endless night of storms.
<br />
  The six weeks were nearly completed, when Mr. Flint’s bride was expected
  to take possession of her new home. The arrangements were all completed,
  and Mr. Flint said I had done well. He expected to leave home on Saturday,
  and return with his bride the following Wednesday. After receiving various
  orders from him, I ventured to ask permission to spend Sunday in town. It
  was granted; for which favor I was thankful. It was the first I had ever
  asked of him, and I intended it should be the last. I needed more than one
  night to accomplish the project I had in view; but the whole of Sunday
  would give me an opportunity. I spent the Sabbath with my grandmother. A
  calmer, more beautiful day never came down out of heaven. To me it was a
  day of conflicting emotions. Perhaps it was the last day I should ever
  spend under that dear, old sheltering roof! Perhaps these were the last
  talks I should ever have with the faithful old friend of my whole life!
  Perhaps it was the last time I and my children should be together! Well,
  better so, I thought, than that they should be slaves. I knew the doom
  that awaited my fair baby in slavery, and I determined to save her from
  it, or perish in the attempt. I went to make this vow at the graves of my
  poor parents, in the burying-ground of the slaves. “There the wicked cease
  from troubling, and there the weary be at rest. There the prisoners rest
  together; they hear not the voice of the oppressor; the servant is free
  from his master.” I knelt by the graves of my parents, and thanked God, as
  I had often done before, that they had not lived to witness my trials, or
  to mourn over my sins. I had received my mother’s blessing when she died;
  and in many an hour of tribulation I had seemed to hear her voice,
  sometimes chiding me, sometimes whispering loving words into my wounded
  heart. I have shed many and bitter tears, to think that when I am gone
  from my children they cannot remember me with such entire satisfaction as
  I remembered my mother.
<br />
  The graveyard was in the woods, and twilight was coming on. Nothing broke
  the death-like stillness except the occasional twitter of a bird. My
  spirit was overawed by the solemnity of the scene. For more than ten years
  I had frequented this spot, but never had it seemed to me so sacred as
  now. A black stump, at the head of my mother’s grave, was all that
  remained of a tree my father had planted. His grave was marked by a small
  wooden board, bearing his name, the letters of which were nearly
  obliterated. I knelt down and kissed them, and poured forth a prayer to
  God for guidance and support in the perilous step I was about to take. As
  I passed the wreck of the old meeting house, where, before Nat Turner’s
  time, the slaves had been allowed to meet for worship, I seemed to hear my
  father’s voice come from it, bidding me not to tarry till I reached
  freedom or the grave. I rushed on with renovated hopes. My trust in God
  had been strengthened by that prayer among the graves.
<br />
  My plan was to conceal myself at the house of a friend, and remain there a
  few weeks till the search was over. My hope was that the doctor would get
  discouraged, and, for fear of losing my value, and also of subsequently
  finding my children among the missing, he would consent to sell us; and I
  knew somebody would buy us. I had done all in my power to make my children
  comfortable during the time I expected to be separated from them. I was
  packing my things, when grandmother came into the room, and asked what I
  was doing. “I am putting my things in order,” I replied. I tried to look
  and speak cheerfully; but her watchful eye detected something beneath the
  surface. She drew me towards her, and asked me to sit down. She looked
  earnestly at me, and said, “Linda, do you want to kill your old
  grandmother? Do you mean to leave your little, helpless children? I am old
  now, and cannot do for your babies as I once did for you.”
<br />
  I replied, that if I went away, perhaps their father would be able to
  secure their freedom.
<br />
  “Ah, my child,” said she, “don’t trust too much to him. Stand by your own
  children, and suffer with them till death. Nobody respects a mother who
  forsakes her children; and if you leave them, you will never have a happy
  moment. If you go, you will make me miserable the short time I have to
  live. You would be taken and brought back, and your sufferings would be
  dreadful. Remember poor Benjamin. Do give it up, Linda. Try to bear a
  little longer. Things may turn out better than we expect.”
<br />
  My courage failed me, in view of the sorrow I should bring on that
  faithful, loving old heart. I promised that I would try longer, and that I
  would take nothing out of her house without her knowledge.
<br />
  Whenever the children climbed on my knee, or laid their heads on my lap,
  she would say, “Poor little souls! what would you do without a mother? She
  don’t love you as I do.” And she would hug them to her own bosom, as if to
  reproach me for my want of affection; but she knew all the while that I
  loved them better than my life. I slept with her that night, and it was
  the last time. The memory of it haunted me for many a year.
<br />
  On Monday I returned to the plantation, and busied myself with
  preparations for the important day. Wednesday came. It was a beautiful
  day, and the faces of the slaves were as bright as the sunshine. The poor
  creatures were merry. They were expecting little presents from the bride,
  and hoping for better times under her administration. I had no such hopes
  for them. I knew that the young wives of slaveholders often thought their
  authority and importance would be best established and maintained by
  cruelty; and what I had heard of young Mrs. Flint gave me no reason to
  expect that her rule over them would be less severe than that of the
  master and overseer. Truly, the colored race are the most cheerful and
  forgiving people on the face of the earth. That their masters sleep in
  safety is owing to their superabundance of heart; and yet they look upon
  their sufferings with less pity than they would bestow on those of a horse
  or a dog.
<br />
  I stood at the door with others to receive the bridegroom and bride. She
  was a handsome, delicate-looking girl, and her face flushed with emotion
  at sight of her new home. I thought it likely that visions of a happy
  future were rising before her. It made me sad; for I knew how soon clouds
  would come over her sunshine. She examined every part of the house, and
  told me she was delighted with the arrangements I had made. I was afraid
  old Mrs. Flint had tried to prejudice her against me, and I did my best to
  please her.
<br />
  All passed off smoothly for me until dinner time arrived. I did not mind
  the embarrassment of waiting on a dinner party, for the first time in my
  life, half so much as I did the meeting with Dr. Flint and his wife, who
  would be among the guests. It was a mystery to me why Mrs. Flint had not
  made her appearance at the plantation during all the time I was putting
  the house in order. I had not met her, face to face, for five years, and I
  had no wish to see her now. She was a praying woman, and, doubtless,
  considered my present position a special answer to her prayers. Nothing
  could please her better than to see me humbled and trampled upon. I was
  just where she would have me—in the power of a hard, unprincipled
  master. She did not speak to me when she took her seat at table; but her
  satisfied, triumphant smile, when I handed her plate, was more eloquent
  than words. The old doctor was not so quiet in his demonstrations. He
  ordered me here and there, and spoke with peculiar emphasis when he said
  “your .” I was drilled like a disgraced soldier. When all
  was over, and the last key turned, I sought my pillow, thankful that God
  had appointed a season of rest for the weary.
<br />
  The next day my new mistress began her housekeeping. I was not exactly
  appointed maid of all work; but I was to do whatever I was told. Monday
  evening came. It was always a busy time. On that night the slaves received
  their weekly allowance of food. Three pounds of meat, a peck of corn, and
  perhaps a dozen herring were allowed to each man. Women received a pound
  and a half of meat, a peck of corn, and the same number of herring.
  Children over twelve years old had half the allowance of the women. The
  meat was cut and weighed by the foreman of the field hands, and piled on
  planks before the meat house. Then the second foreman went behind the
  building, and when the first foreman called out, “Who takes this piece of
  meat?” he answered by calling somebody’s name. This method was resorted to
  as a means of preventing partiality in distributing the meat. The young
  mistress came out to see how things were done on her plantation, and she
  soon gave a specimen of her character. Among those in waiting for their
  allowance was a very old slave, who had faithfully served the Flint family
  through three generations. When he hobbled up to get his bit of meat, the
  mistress said he was too old to have any allowance; that when niggers were
  too old to work, they ought to be fed on grass. Poor old man! He suffered
  much before he found rest in the grave.
<br />
  My mistress and I got along very well together. At the end of a week, old
  Mrs. Flint made us another visit, and was closeted a long time with her
  daughter-in-law. I had my suspicions what was the subject of the
  conference. The old doctor’s wife had been informed that I could leave the
  plantation on one condition, and she was very desirous to keep me there.
  If she had trusted me, as I deserved to be trusted by her, she would have
  had no fears of my accepting that condition. When she entered her carriage
  to return home, she said to young Mrs. Flint, “Don’t neglect to send for
  them as quick as possible.” My heart was on the watch all the time, and I
  at once concluded that she spoke of my children. The doctor came the next
  day, and as I entered the room to spread the tea table, I heard him say,
  “Don’t wait any longer. Send for them to-morrow.” I saw through the plan.
  They thought my children’s being there would fetter me to the spot, and
  that it was a good place to break us all in to abject submission to our
  lot as slaves. After the doctor left, a gentleman called, who had always
  manifested friendly feelings towards my grandmother and her family. Mr.
  Flint carried him over the plantation to show him the results of labor
  performed by men and women who were unpaid, miserably clothed, and half
  famished. The cotton crop was all they thought of. It was duly admired,
  and the gentleman returned with specimens to show his friends. I was
  ordered to carry water to wash his hands. As I did so, he said, “Linda,
  how do you like your new home?” I told him I liked it as well as I
  expected. He replied, “They don’t think you are contented, and to-morrow
  they are going to bring your children to be with you. I am sorry for you,
  Linda. I hope they will treat you kindly.” I hurried from the room, unable
  to thank him. My suspicions were correct. My children were to be brought
  to the plantation to be “broke in.”
<br />
  To this day I feel grateful to the gentleman who gave me this timely
  information. It nerved me to immediate action.
<br />

  [ ]()

  XVII. The Flight.


  Mr. Flint was hard pushed for house servants, and rather than lose me he
  had restrained his malice. I did my work faithfully, though not, of
  course, with a willing mind. They were evidently afraid I should leave
  them. Mr. Flint wished that I should sleep in the great house instead of
  the servants’ quarters. His wife agreed to the proposition, but said I
  mustn’t bring my bed into the house, because it would scatter feathers on
  her carpet. I knew when I went there that they would never think of such a
  thing as furnishing a bed of any kind for me and my little ones. I
  therefore carried my own bed, and now I was forbidden to use it. I did as
  I was ordered. But now that I was certain my children were to be put in
  their power, in order to give them a stronger hold on me, I resolved to
  leave them that night. I remembered the grief this step would bring upon
  my dear old grandmother, and nothing less than the freedom of my children
  would have induced me to disregard her advice. I went about my evening
  work with trembling steps. Mr. Flint twice called from his chamber door to
  inquire why the house was not locked up. I replied that I had not done my
  work. “You have had time enough to do it,” said he. “Take care how you
  answer me!”
<br />
  I shut all the windows, locked all the doors, and went up to the third
  story, to wait till midnight. How long those hours seemed, and how
  fervently I prayed that God would not forsake me in this hour of utmost
  need! I was about to risk every thing on the throw of a die; and if I
  failed, O what would become of me and my poor children? They would be made
  to suffer for my fault.
<br />
  At half past twelve I stole softly down stairs. I stopped on the second
  floor, thinking I heard a noise. I felt my way down into the parlor, and
  looked out of the window. The night was so intensely dark that I could see
  nothing. I raised the window very softly and jumped out. Large drops of
  rain were falling, and the darkness bewildered me. I dropped on my knees,
  and breathed a short prayer to God for guidance and protection. I groped
  my way to the road, and rushed towards the town with almost lightning
  speed. I arrived at my grandmother’s house, but dared not see her. She
  would say, “Linda, you are killing me;” and I knew that would unnerve me.
  I tapped softly at the window of a room, occupied by a woman, who had
  lived in the house several years. I knew she was a faithful friend, and
  could be trusted with my secret. I tapped several times before she heard
  me. At last she raised the window, and I whispered, “Sally, I have run
  away. Let me in, quick.” She opened the door softly, and said in low
  tones, “For God’s sake, don’t. Your grandmother is trying to buy you and
  de chillern. Mr. Sands was here last week. He tole her he was going away
  on business, but he wanted her to go ahead about buying you and de
  chillern, and he would help her all he could. Don’t run away, Linda. Your
  grandmother is all bowed down wid trouble now.”
<br />
  I replied, “Sally, they are going to carry my children to the plantation
  to-morrow; and they will never sell them to any body so long as they have
  me in their power. Now, would you advise me to go back?”
<br />
  “No, chile, no,” answered she. “When dey finds you is gone, dey won’t want
  de plague ob de chillern; but where is you going to hide? Dey knows ebery
  inch ob dis house.”
<br />
  I told her I had a hiding-place, and that was all it was best for her to
  know. I asked her to go into my room as soon as it was light, and take all
  my clothes out of my trunk, and pack them in hers; for I knew Mr. Flint
  and the constable would be there early to search my room. I feared the
  sight of my children would be too much for my full heart; but I could not
  go into the uncertain future without one last look. I bent over the bed
  where lay my little Benny and baby Ellen. Poor little ones! fatherless and
  motherless! Memories of their father came over me. He wanted to be kind to
  them; but they were not all to him, as they were to my womanly heart. I
  knelt and prayed for the innocent little sleepers. I kissed them lightly,
  and turned away.
<br />
  As I was about to open the street door, Sally laid her hand on my
  shoulder, and said, “Linda, is you gwine all alone? Let me call your
  uncle.”
<br />
  “No, Sally,” I replied, “I want no one to be brought into trouble on my
  account.”
<br />
  I went forth into the darkness and rain. I ran on till I came to the house
  of the friend who was to conceal me.
<br />
  Early the next morning Mr. Flint was at my grandmother’s inquiring for me.
  She told him she had not seen me, and supposed I was at the plantation. He
  watched her face narrowly, and said, “Don’t you know any thing about her
  running off?” She assured him that she did not. He went on to say, “Last
  night she ran off without the least provocation. We had treated her very
  kindly. My wife liked her. She will soon be found and brought back. Are
  her children with you?” When told that they were, he said, “I am very glad
  to hear that. If they are here, she cannot be far off. If I find out that
  any of my niggers have had any thing to do with this damned business, I’ll
  give ’em five hundred lashes.” As he started to go to his father’s, he
  turned round and added, persuasively, “Let her be brought back, and she
  shall have her children to live with her.”
<br />
  The tidings made the old doctor rave and storm at a furious rate. It was a
  busy day for them. My grandmother’s house was searched from top to bottom.
  As my trunk was empty, they concluded I had taken my clothes with me.
  Before ten o’clock every vessel northward bound was thoroughly examined,
  and the law against harboring fugitives was read to all on board. At night
  a watch was set over the town. Knowing how distressed my grandmother would
  be, I wanted to send her a message; but it could not be done. Every one
  who went in or out of her house was closely watched. The doctor said he
  would take my children, unless she became responsible for them; which of
  course she willingly did. The next day was spent in searching. Before
  night, the following advertisement was posted at every corner, and in
  every public place for miles round:—
<br />
  $300 REWARD! Ran away from the subscriber, an intelligent, bright, mulatto
  girl, named Linda, 21 years of age. Five feet four inches high. Dark eyes,
  and black hair inclined to curl; but it can be made straight. Has a
  decayed spot on a front tooth. She can read and write, and in all
  probability will try to get to the Free States. All persons are forbidden,
  under penalty of law, to harbor or employ said slave. $150 will be given
  to whoever takes her in the state, and $300 if taken out of the state and
  delivered to me, or lodged in jail.
<br />
  Dr. Flint.
<br />

  [ ]()

  XVIII. Months Of Peril.


  The search for me was kept up with more perseverance than I had
  anticipated. I began to think that escape was impossible. I was in great
  anxiety lest I should implicate the friend who harbored me. I knew the
  consequences would be frightful; and much as I dreaded being caught, even
  that seemed better than causing an innocent person to suffer for kindness
  to me. A week had passed in terrible suspense, when my pursuers came into
  such close vicinity that I concluded they had tracked me to my
  hiding-place. I flew out of the house, and concealed myself in a thicket
  of bushes. There I remained in an agony of fear for two hours. Suddenly, a
  reptile of some kind seized my leg. In my fright, I struck a blow which
  loosened its hold, but I could not tell whether I had killed it; it was so
  dark, I could not see what it was; I only knew it was something cold and
  slimy. The pain I felt soon indicated that the bite was poisonous. I was
  compelled to leave my place of concealment, and I groped my way back into
  the house. The pain had become intense, and my friend was startled by my
  look of anguish. I asked her to prepare a poultice of warm ashes and
  vinegar, and I applied it to my leg, which was already much swollen. The
  application gave me some relief, but the swelling did not abate. The dread
  of being disabled was greater than the physical pain I endured. My friend
  asked an old woman, who doctored among the slaves, what was good for the
  bite of a snake or a lizard. She told her to steep a dozen coppers in
  vinegar, over night, and apply the cankered vinegar to the inflamed part.[](#linknote-1)
<br />

  [ Footnote:]()
<br />
  1 ([return](#linknoteref-1))<br /> [ The poison of a snake is a
  powerful acid, and is counteracted by powerful alkalies, such as potash,
  ammonia, &c. The Indians are accustomed to apply wet ashes, or plunge
  the limb into strong lie. White men, employed to lay out railroads in
  snaky places, often carry ammonia with them as an antidote.—EDITOR.]
<br />
  I had succeeded in cautiously conveying some messages to my relatives.
  They were harshly threatened, and despairing of my having a chance to
  escape, they advised me to return to my master, ask his forgiveness, and
  let him make an example of me. But such counsel had no influence with me.
  When I started upon this hazardous undertaking, I had resolved that, come
  what would, there should be no turning back. “Give me liberty, or give me
  death,” was my motto. When my friend contrived to make known to my
  relatives the painful situation I had been in for twenty-four hours, they
  said no more about my going back to my master. Something must be done, and
  that speedily; but where to return for help, they knew not. God in his
  mercy raised up “a friend in need.”
<br />
  Among the ladies who were acquainted with my grandmother, was one who had
  known her from childhood, and always been very friendly to her. She had
  also known my mother and her children, and felt interested for them. At
  this crisis of affairs she called to see my grandmother, as she not
  unfrequently did. She observed the sad and troubled expression of her
  face, and asked if she knew where Linda was, and whether she was safe. My
  grandmother shook her head, without answering. “Come, Aunt Martha,” said
  the kind lady, “tell me all about it. Perhaps I can do something to help
  you.” The husband of this lady held many slaves, and bought and sold
  slaves. She also held a number in her own name; but she treated them
  kindly, and would never allow any of them to be sold. She was unlike the
  majority of slaveholders’ wives. My grandmother looked earnestly at her.
  Something in the expression of her face said “Trust me!” and she did trust
  her. She listened attentively to the details of my story, and sat thinking
  for a while. At last she said, “Aunt Martha, I pity you both. If you think
  there is any chance of Linda’s getting to the Free States, I will conceal
  her for a time. But first you must solemnly promise that my name shall
  never be mentioned. If such a thing should become known, it would ruin me
  and my family. No one in my house must know of it, except the cook. She is
  so faithful that I would trust my own life with her; and I know she likes
  Linda. It is a great risk; but I trust no harm will come of it. Get word
  to Linda to be ready as soon as it is dark, before the patrols are out. I
  will send the housemaids on errands, and Betty shall go to meet Linda.”
  The place where we were to meet was designated and agreed upon. My
  grandmother was unable to thank the lady for this noble deed; overcome by
  her emotions, she sank on her knees and sobbed like a child.
<br />
  I received a message to leave my friend’s house at such an hour, and go to
  a certain place where a friend would be waiting for me. As a matter of
  prudence no names were mentioned. I had no means of conjecturing who I was
  to meet, or where I was going. I did not like to move thus blindfolded,
  but I had no choice. It would not do for me to remain where I was. I
  disguised myself, summoned up courage to meet the worst, and went to the
  appointed place. My friend Betty was there; she was the last person I
  expected to see. We hurried along in silence. The pain in my leg was so
  intense that it seemed as if I should drop but fear gave me strength. We
  reached the house and entered unobserved. Her first words were: “Honey,
  now you is safe. Dem devils ain’t coming to search  house. When
  I get you into missis’ safe place, I will bring some nice hot supper. I
  specs you need it after all dis skeering.” Betty’s vocation led her to
  think eating the most important thing in life. She did not realize that my
  heart was too full for me to care much about supper.
<br />
  The mistress came to meet us, and led me up stairs to a small room over
  her own sleeping apartment. “You will be safe here, Linda,” said she; “I
  keep this room to store away things that are out of use. The girls are not
  accustomed to be sent to it, and they will not suspect any thing unless
  they hear some noise. I always keep it locked, and Betty shall take care
  of the key. But you must be very careful, for my sake as well as your own;
  and you must never tell my secret; for it would ruin me and my family. I
  will keep the girls busy in the morning, that Betty may have a chance to
  bring your breakfast; but it will not do for her to come to you again till
  night. I will come to see you sometimes. Keep up your courage. I hope this
  state of things will not last long.” Betty came with the “nice hot
  supper,” and the mistress hastened down stairs to keep things straight
  till she returned. How my heart overflowed with gratitude! Words choked in
  my throat; but I could have kissed the feet of my benefactress. For that
  deed of Christian womanhood, may God forever bless her!
<br />
  I went to sleep that night with the feeling that I was for the present the
  most fortunate slave in town. Morning came and filled my little cell with
  light. I thanked the heavenly Father for this safe retreat. Opposite my
  window was a pile of feather beds. On the top of these I could lie
  perfectly concealed, and command a view of the street through which Dr.
  Flint passed to his office. Anxious as I was, I felt a gleam of
  satisfaction when I saw him. Thus far I had outwitted him, and I triumphed
  over it. Who can blame slaves for being cunning? They are constantly
  compelled to resort to it. It is the only weapon of the weak and oppressed
  against the strength of their tyrants.
<br />
  I was daily hoping to hear that my master had sold my children; for I knew
  who was on the watch to buy them. But Dr. Flint cared even more for
  revenge than he did for money. My brother William and the good aunt who
  had served in his family twenty years, and my little Benny, and Ellen, who
  was a little over two years old, were thrust into jail, as a means of
  compelling my relatives to give some information about me. He swore my
  grandmother should never see one of them again till I was brought back.
  They kept these facts from me for several days. When I heard that my
  little ones were in a loathsome jail, my first impulse was to go to them.
  I was encountering dangers for the sake of freeing them, and must I be the
  cause of their death? The thought was agonizing. My benefactress tried to
  soothe me by telling me that my aunt would take good care of the children
  while they remained in jail. But it added to my pain to think that the
  good old aunt, who had always been so kind to her sister’s orphan
  children, should be shut up in prison for no other crime than loving them.
  I suppose my friends feared a reckless movement on my part, knowing, as
  they did, that my life was bound up in my children. I received a note from
  my brother William. It was scarcely legible, and ran thus: “Wherever you
  are, dear sister, I beg of you not to come here. We are all much better
  off than you are. If you come, you will ruin us all. They would force you
  to tell where you had been, or they would kill you. Take the advice of
  your friends; if not for the sake of me and your children, at least for
  the sake of those you would ruin.”
<br />
  Poor William! He also must suffer for being my brother. I took his advice
  and kept quiet. My aunt was taken out of jail at the end of a month,
  because Mrs. Flint could not spare her any longer. She was tired of being
  her own housekeeper. It was quite too fatiguing to order her dinner and
  eat it too. My children remained in jail, where brother William did all he
  could for their comfort. Betty went to see them sometimes, and brought me
  tidings. She was not permitted to enter the jail; but William would hold
  them up to the grated window while she chatted with them. When she
  repeated their prattle, and told me how they wanted to see their ma, my
  tears would flow. Old Betty would exclaim, “Lors, chile! what’s you crying
  ’bout? Dem young uns vil kill you dead. Don’t be so chick’n hearted! If
  you does, you vil nebber git thro’ dis world.”
<br />
  Good old soul! She had gone through the world childless. She had never had
  little ones to clasp their arms round her neck; she had never seen their
  soft eyes looking into hers; no sweet little voices had called her mother;
  she had never pressed her own infants to her heart, with the feeling that
  even in fetters there was something to live for. How could she realize my
  feelings? Betty’s husband loved children dearly, and wondered why God had
  denied them to him. He expressed great sorrow when he came to Betty with
  the tidings that Ellen had been taken out of jail and carried to Dr.
  Flint’s. She had the measles a short time before they carried her to jail,
  and the disease had left her eyes affected. The doctor had taken her home
  to attend to them. My children had always been afraid of the doctor and
  his wife. They had never been inside of their house. Poor little Ellen
  cried all day to be carried back to prison. The instincts of childhood are
  true. She knew she was loved in the jail. Her screams and sobs annoyed
  Mrs. Flint. Before night she called one of the slaves, and said, “Here,
  Bill, carry this brat back to the jail. I can’t stand her noise. If she
  would be quiet I should like to keep the little minx. She would make a
  handy waiting-maid for my daughter by and by. But if she staid here, with
  her white face, I suppose I should either kill her or spoil her. I hope
  the doctor will sell them as far as wind and water can carry them. As for
  their mother, her ladyship will find out yet what she gets by running
  away. She hasn’t so much feeling for her children as a cow has for its
  calf. If she had, she would have come back long ago, to get them out of
  jail, and save all this expense and trouble. The good-for-nothing hussy!
  When she is caught, she shall stay in jail, in irons, for one six months,
  and then be sold to a sugar plantation. I shall see her broke in yet. What
  do you stand there for, Bill? Why don’t you go off with the brat? Mind,
  now, that you don’t let any of the niggers speak to her in the street!”
<br />
  When these remarks were reported to me, I smiled at Mrs. Flint’s saying
  that she should either kill my child or spoil her. I thought to myself
  there was very little danger of the latter. I have always considered it as
  one of God’s special providences that Ellen screamed till she was carried
  back to jail.
<br />
  That same night Dr. Flint was called to a patient, and did not return till
  near morning. Passing my grandmother’s, he saw a light in the house, and
  thought to himself, “Perhaps this has something to do with Linda.” He
  knocked, and the door was opened. “What calls you up so early?” said he.
  “I saw your light, and I thought I would just stop and tell you that I
  have found out where Linda is. I know where to put my hands on her, and I
  shall have her before twelve o’clock.” When he had turned away, my
  grandmother and my uncle looked anxiously at each other. They did not know
  whether or not it was merely one of the doctor’s tricks to frighten them.
  In their uncertainty, they thought it was best to have a message conveyed
  to my friend Betty. Unwilling to alarm her mistress, Betty resolved to
  dispose of me herself. She came to me, and told me to rise and dress
  quickly. We hurried down stairs, and across the yard, into the kitchen.
  She locked the door, and lifted up a plank in the floor. A buffalo skin
  and a bit of carpet were spread for me to lie on, and a quilt thrown over
  me. “Stay dar,” said she, “till I sees if dey know ’bout you. Dey say dey
  vil put thar hans on you afore twelve o’clock. If dey  know whar
  you are, dey won’t know . Dey’ll be disapinted dis time. Dat’s
  all I got to say. If dey comes rummagin ’mong  tings, de’ll get
  one bressed sarssin from dis ’ere nigger.” In my shallow bed I had but
  just room enough to bring my hands to my face to keep the dust out of my
  eyes; for Betty walked over me twenty times in an hour, passing from the
  dresser to the fireplace. When she was alone, I could hear her pronouncing
  anathemas over Dr. Flint and all his tribe, every now and then saying,
  with a chuckling laugh, “Dis nigger’s too cute for ’em dis time.” When the
  housemaids were about, she had sly ways of drawing them out, that I might
  hear what they would say. She would repeat stories she had heard about my
  being in this, or that, or the other place. To which they would answer,
  that I was not fool enough to be staying round there; that I was in
  Philadelphia or New York before this time. When all were abed and asleep,
  Betty raised the plank, and said, “Come out, chile; come out. Dey don’t
  know nottin ’bout you. Twas only white folks’ lies, to skeer de niggers.”
<br />
  Some days after this adventure I had a much worse fright. As I sat very
  still in my retreat above stairs, cheerful visions floated through my
  mind. I thought Dr. Flint would soon get discouraged, and would be willing
  to sell my children, when he lost all hopes of making them the means of my
  discovery. I knew who was ready to buy them. Suddenly I heard a voice that
  chilled my blood. The sound was too familiar to me, it had been too
  dreadful, for me not to recognize at once my old master. He was in the
  house, and I at once concluded he had come to seize me. I looked round in
  terror. There was no way of escape. The voice receded. I supposed the
  constable was with him, and they were searching the house. In my alarm I
  did not forget the trouble I was bringing on my generous benefactress. It
  seemed as if I were born to bring sorrow on all who befriended me, and
  that was the bitterest drop in the bitter cup of my life. After a while I
  heard approaching footsteps; the key was turned in my door. I braced
  myself against the wall to keep from falling. I ventured to look up, and
  there stood my kind benefactress alone. I was too much overcome to speak,
  and sunk down upon the floor.
<br />
  “I thought you would hear your master’s voice,” she said; “and knowing you
  would be terrified, I came to tell you there is nothing to fear. You may
  even indulge in a laugh at the old gentleman’s expense. He is so sure you
  are in New York, that he came to borrow five hundred dollars to go in
  pursuit of you. My sister had some money to loan on interest. He has
  obtained it, and proposes to start for New York to-night. So, for the
  present, you see you are safe. The doctor will merely lighten his pocket
  hunting after the bird he has left behind.”
<br />

  [ ]()

  XIX. The Children Sold.


  The Doctor came back from New York, of course without accomplishing his
  purpose. He had expended considerable money, and was rather disheartened.
  My brother and the children had now been in jail two months, and that also
  was some expense. My friends thought it was a favorable time to work on
  his discouraged feelings. Mr. Sands sent a speculator to offer him nine
  hundred dollars for my brother William, and eight hundred for the two
  children. These were high prices, as slaves were then selling; but the
  offer was rejected. If it had been merely a question of money, the doctor
  would have sold any boy of Benny’s age for two hundred dollars; but he
  could not bear to give up the power of revenge. But he was hard pressed
  for money, and he revolved the matter in his mind. He knew that if he
  could keep Ellen till she was fifteen, he could sell her for a high price;
  but I presume he reflected that she might die, or might be stolen away. At
  all events, he came to the conclusion that he had better accept the
  slave-trader’s offer. Meeting him in the street, he inquired when he would
  leave town. “To-day, at ten o’clock,” he replied. “Ah, do you go so soon?”
  said the doctor. “I have been reflecting upon your proposition, and I have
  concluded to let you have the three negroes if you will say nineteen
  hundred dollars.” After some parley, the trader agreed to his terms. He
  wanted the bill of sale drawn up and signed immediately, as he had a great
  deal to attend to during the short time he remained in town. The doctor
  went to the jail and told William he would take him back into his service
  if he would promise to behave himself but he replied that he would rather
  be sold. “And you  be sold, you ungrateful rascal!” exclaimed
  the doctor. In less than an hour the money was paid, the papers were
  signed, sealed, and delivered, and my brother and children were in the
  hands of the trader.
<br />
  It was a hurried transaction; and after it was over, the doctor’s
  characteristic caution returned. He went back to the speculator, and said,
  “Sir, I have come to lay you under obligations of a thousand dollars not
  to sell any of those negroes in this state.” “You come too late,” replied
  the trader; “our bargain is closed.” He had, in fact, already sold them to
  Mr. Sands, but he did not mention it. The doctor required him to put irons
  on “that rascal, Bill,” and to pass through the back streets when he took
  his gang out of town. The trader was privately instructed to concede to
  his wishes. My good old aunt went to the jail to bid the children good by,
  supposing them to be the speculator’s property, and that she should never
  see them again. As she held Benny in her lap, he said, “Aunt Nancy, I want
  to show you something.” He led her to the door and showed her a long row
  of marks, saying, “Uncle Will taught me to count. I have made a mark for
  every day I have been here, and it is sixty days. It is a long time; and
  the speculator is going to take me and Ellen away. He’s a bad man. It’s
  wrong for him to take grandmother’s children. I want to go to my mother.”
<br />
  My grandmother was told that the children would be restored to her, but
  she was requested to act as if they were really to be sent away.
  Accordingly, she made up a bundle of clothes and went to the jail. When
  she arrived, she found William handcuffed among the gang, and the children
  in the trader’s cart. The scene seemed too much like reality. She was
  afraid there might have been some deception or mistake. She fainted, and
  was carried home.
<br />
  When the wagon stopped at the hotel, several gentlemen came out and
  proposed to purchase William, but the trader refused their offers, without
  stating that he was already sold. And now came the trying hour for that
  drove of human beings, driven away like cattle, to be sold they knew not
  where. Husbands were torn from wives, parents from children, never to look
  upon each other again this side the grave. There was wringing of hands and
  cries of despair.
<br />
  Dr. Flint had the supreme satisfaction of seeing the wagon leave town, and
  Mrs. Flint had the gratification of supposing that my children were going
  “as far as wind and water would carry them.” According to agreement, my
  uncle followed the wagon some miles, until they came to an old farm house.
  There the trader took the irons from William, and as he did so, he said,
  “You are a damned clever fellow. I should like to own you myself. Them
  gentlemen that wanted to buy you said you was a bright, honest chap, and I
  must git you a good home. I guess your old master will swear to-morrow,
  and call himself an old fool for selling the children. I reckon he’ll
  never git their mammy back again. I expect she’s made tracks for the
  north. Good by, old boy. Remember, I have done you a good turn. You must
  thank me by coaxing all the pretty gals to go with me next fall. That’s
  going to be my last trip. This trading in niggers is a bad business for a
  fellow that’s got any heart. Move on, you fellows!” And the gang went on,
  God alone knows where.
<br />
  Much as I despise and detest the class of slave-traders, whom I regard as
  the vilest wretches on earth, I must do this man the justice to say that
  he seemed to have some feeling. He took a fancy to William in the jail,
  and wanted to buy him. When he heard the story of my children, he was
  willing to aid them in getting out of Dr. Flint’s power, even without
  charging the customary fee.
<br />
  My uncle procured a wagon and carried William and the children back to
  town. Great was the joy in my grandmother’s house! The curtains were
  closed, and the candles lighted. The happy grandmother cuddled the little
  ones to her bosom. They hugged her, and kissed her, and clapped their
  hands, and shouted. She knelt down and poured forth one of her heartfelt
  prayers of thanksgiving to God. The father was present for a while; and
  though such a “parental relation” as existed between him and my children
  takes slight hold on the hearts or consciences of slaveholders, it must be
  that he experienced some moments of pure joy in witnessing the happiness
  he had imparted.
<br />
  I had no share in the rejoicings of that evening. The events of the day
  had not come to my knowledge. And now I will tell you something that
  happened to me; though you will, perhaps, think it illustrates the
  superstition of slaves. I sat in my usual place on the floor near the
  window, where I could hear much that was said in the street without being
  seen. The family had retired for the night, and all was still. I sat there
  thinking of my children, when I heard a low strain of music. A band of
  serenaders were under the window, playing “Home, sweet home.” I listened
  till the sounds did not seem like music, but like the moaning of children.
  It seemed as if my heart would burst. I rose from my sitting posture, and
  knelt. A streak of moonlight was on the floor before me, and in the midst
  of it appeared the forms of my two children. They vanished; but I had seen
  them distinctly. Some will call it a dream, others a vision. I know not
  how to account for it, but it made a strong impression on my mind, and I
  felt certain something had happened to my little ones.
<br />
  I had not seen Betty since morning. Now I heard her softly turning the
  key. As soon as she entered, I clung to her, and begged her to let me know
  whether my children were dead, or whether they were sold; for I had seen
  their spirits in my room, and I was sure something had happened to them.
  “Lor, chile,” said she, putting her arms round me, “you’s got de
  high-sterics. I’ll sleep wid you to-night, ’cause you’ll make a noise, and
  ruin missis. Something has stirred you up mightily. When you is done
  cryin, I’ll talk wid you. De chillern is well, and mighty happy. I seed
  ’em myself. Does dat satisfy you? Dar, chile, be still! Somebody vill hear
  you.” I tried to obey her. She lay down, and was soon sound asleep; but no
  sleep would come to my eyelids.
<br />
  At dawn, Betty was up and off to the kitchen. The hours passed on, and the
  vision of the night kept constantly recurring to my thoughts. After a
  while I heard the voices of two women in the entry. In one of them I
  recognized the housemaid. The other said to her, “Did you know Linda
  Brent’s children was sold to the speculator yesterday. They say ole massa
  Flint was mighty glad to see ’em drove out of town; but they say they’ve
  come back agin. I ’spect it’s all their daddy’s doings. They say he’s
  bought William too. Lor! how it will take hold of ole massa Flint! I’m
  going roun’ to aunt Marthy’s to see ’bout it.”
<br />
  I bit my lips till the blood came to keep from crying out. Were my
  children with their grandmother, or had the speculator carried them off?
  The suspense was dreadful. Would Betty  come, and tell me the
  truth about it? At last she came, and I eagerly repeated what I had
  overheard. Her face was one broad, bright smile. “Lor, you foolish ting!”
  said she. “I’se gwine to tell you all ’bout it. De gals is eating thar
  breakfast, and missus tole me to let her tell you; but, poor creeter!
  t’aint right to keep you waitin’, and I’se gwine to tell you. Brudder,
  chillern, all is bought by de daddy! I’se laugh more dan nuff, tinking
  ’bout ole massa Flint. Lor, how he  swar! He’s got ketched dis
  time, any how; but I must be getting out o’ dis, or dem gals vill come and
  ketch .”
<br />
  Betty went off laughing; and I said to myself, “Can it be true that my
  children are free? I have not suffered for them in vain. Thank God!”
<br />
  Great surprise was expressed when it was known that my children had
  returned to their grandmother’s. The news spread through the town, and
  many a kind word was bestowed on the little ones.
<br />
  Dr. Flint went to my grandmother’s to ascertain who was the owner of my
  children, and she informed him. “I expected as much,” said he. “I am glad
  to hear it. I have had news from Linda lately, and I shall soon have her.
  You need never expect to see  free. She shall be my slave as
  long as I live, and when I am dead she shall be the slave of my children.
  If I ever find out that you or Phillip had anything to do with her running
  off I’ll kill him. And if I meet William in the street, and he presumes to
  look at me, I’ll flog him within an inch of his life. Keep those brats out
  of my sight!”
<br />
  As he turned to leave, my grandmother said something to remind him of his
  own doings. He looked back upon her, as if he would have been glad to
  strike her to the ground.
<br />
  I had my season of joy and thanksgiving. It was the first time since my
  childhood that I had experienced any real happiness. I heard of the old
  doctor’s threats, but they no longer had the same power to trouble me. The
  darkest cloud that hung over my life had rolled away. Whatever slavery
  might do to me, it could not shackle my children. If I fell a sacrifice,
  my little ones were saved. It was well for me that my simple heart
  believed all that had been promised for their welfare. It is always better
  to trust than to doubt.
<br />

  [ ]()

  XX. New Perils.


  The doctor, more exasperated than ever, again tried to revenge himself on
  my relatives. He arrested uncle Phillip on the charge of having aided my
  flight. He was carried before a court, and swore truly that he knew
  nothing of my intention to escape, and that he had not seen me since I
  left my master’s plantation. The doctor then demanded that he should give
  bail for five hundred dollars that he would have nothing to do with me.
  Several gentlemen offered to be security for him; but Mr. Sands told him
  he had better go back to jail, and he would see that he came out without
  giving bail.
<br />
  The news of his arrest was carried to my grandmother, who conveyed it to
  Betty. In the kindness of her heart, she again stowed me away under the
  floor; and as she walked back and forth, in the performance of her
  culinary duties, she talked apparently to herself, but with the intention
  that I should hear what was going on. I hoped that my uncle’s imprisonment
  would last but few days; still I was anxious. I thought it likely Dr.
  Flint would do his utmost to taunt and insult him, and I was afraid my
  uncle might lose control of himself, and retort in some way that would be
  construed into a punishable offence; and I was well aware that in court
  his word would not be taken against any white man’s. The search for me was
  renewed. Something had excited suspicions that I was in the vicinity. They
  searched the house I was in. I heard their steps and their voices. At
  night, when all were asleep, Betty came to release me from my place of
  confinement. The fright I had undergone, the constrained posture, and the
  dampness of the ground, made me ill for several days. My uncle was soon
  after taken out of prison; but the movements of all my relatives, and of
  all our friends, were very closely watched.
<br />
  We all saw that I could not remain where I was much longer. I had already
  staid longer than was intended, and I knew my presence must be a source of
  perpetual anxiety to my kind benefactress. During this time, my friends
  had laid many plans for my escape, but the extreme vigilance of my
  persecutors made it impossible to carry them into effect.
<br />
  One morning I was much startled by hearing somebody trying to get into my
  room. Several keys were tried, but none fitted. I instantly conjectured it
  was one of the housemaids; and I concluded she must either have heard some
  noise in the room, or have noticed the entrance of Betty. When my friend
  came, at her usual time, I told her what had happened. “I knows who it
  was,” said she. “Tend upon it, ’twas dat Jenny. Dat nigger allers got de
  debble in her.” I suggested that she might have seen or heard something
  that excited her curiosity.
<br />
  “Tut! tut! chile!” exclaimed Betty, “she ain’t seen notin’, nor hearn
  notin’. She only ’spects something. Dat’s all. She wants to fine out who
  hab cut and make my gownd. But she won’t nebber know. Dat’s sartin. I’ll
  git missis to fix her.”
<br />
  I reflected a moment, and said, “Betty, I must leave here to-night.”
<br />
  “Do as you tink best, poor chile,” she replied. “I’se mighty ’fraid dat
  ’ere nigger vill pop on you some time.”
<br />
  She reported the incident to her mistress, and received orders to keep
  Jenny busy in the kitchen till she could see my uncle Phillip. He told her
  he would send a friend for me that very evening. She told him she hoped I
  was going to the north, for it was very dangerous for me to remain any
  where in the vicinity. Alas, it was not an easy thing, for one in my
  situation, to go to the north. In order to leave the coast quite clear for
  me, she went into the country to spend the day with her brother, and took
  Jenny with her. She was afraid to come and bid me good by, but she left a
  kind message with Betty. I heard her carriage roll from the door, and I
  never again saw her who had so generously befriended the poor, trembling
  fugitive! Though she was a slaveholder, to this day my heart blesses her!
<br />
  I had not the slightest idea where I was going. Betty brought me a suit of
  sailor’s clothes,—jacket, trowsers, and tarpaulin hat. She gave me a
  small bundle, saying I might need it where I was going. In cheery tones,
  she exclaimed, “I’se  glad you is gwine to free parts! Don’t
  forget ole Betty. P’raps I’ll come ’long by and by.”
<br />
  I tried to tell her how grateful I felt for all her kindness. But she
  interrupted me. “I don’t want no tanks, honey. I’se glad I could help you,
  and I hope de good Lord vill open de path for you. I’se gwine wid you to
  de lower gate. Put your hands in your pockets, and walk ricketty, like de
  sailors.”
<br />
  I performed to her satisfaction. At the gate I found Peter, a young
  colored man, waiting for me. I had known him for years. He had been an
  apprentice to my father, and had always borne a good character. I was not
  afraid to trust to him. Betty bade me a hurried good by, and we walked
  off. “Take courage, Linda,” said my friend Peter. “I’ve got a dagger, and
  no man shall take you from me, unless he passes over my dead body.”
<br />
  It was a long time since I had taken a walk out of doors, and the fresh
  air revived me. It was also pleasant to hear a human voice speaking to me
  above a whisper. I passed several people whom I knew, but they did not
  recognize me in my disguise. I prayed internally that, for Peter’s sake,
  as well as my own, nothing might occur to bring out his dagger. We walked
  on till we came to the wharf. My aunt Nancy’s husband was a seafaring man,
  and it had been deemed necessary to let him into our secret. He took me
  into his boat, rowed out to a vessel not far distant, and hoisted me on
  board. We three were the only occupants of the vessel. I now ventured to
  ask what they proposed to do with me. They said I was to remain on board
  till near dawn, and then they would hide me in Snaky Swamp, till my uncle
  Phillip had prepared a place of concealment for me. If the vessel had been
  bound north, it would have been of no avail to me, for it would certainly
  have been searched. About four o’clock, we were again seated in the boat,
  and rowed three miles to the swamp. My fear of snakes had been increased
  by the venomous bite I had received, and I dreaded to enter this hiding-place. But I was in no situation to choose, and I gratefully accepted the
  best that my poor, persecuted friends could do for me.
<br />
  Peter landed first, and with a large knife cut a path through bamboos and
  briers of all descriptions. He came back, took me in his arms, and carried
  me to a seat made among the bamboos. Before we reached it, we were covered
  with hundreds of mosquitos. In an hour’s time they had so poisoned my
  flesh that I was a pitiful sight to behold. As the light increased, I saw
  snake after snake crawling round us. I had been accustomed to the sight of
  snakes all my life, but these were larger than any I had ever seen. To
  this day I shudder when I remember that morning. As evening approached,
  the number of snakes increased so much that we were continually obliged to
  thrash them with sticks to keep them from crawling over us. The bamboos
  were so high and so thick that it was impossible to see beyond a very
  short distance. Just before it became dark we procured a seat nearer to
  the entrance of the swamp, being fearful of losing our way back to the
  boat. It was not long before we heard the paddle of oars, and the low
  whistle, which had been agreed upon as a signal. We made haste to enter
  the boat, and were rowed back to the vessel. I passed a wretched night;
  for the heat of the swamp, the mosquitos, and the constant terror of
  snakes, had brought on a burning fever. I had just dropped asleep, when
  they came and told me it was time to go back to that horrid swamp. I could
  scarcely summon courage to rise. But even those large, venomous snakes
  were less dreadful to my imagination than the white men in that community
  called civilized. This time Peter took a quantity of tobacco to burn, to
  keep off the mosquitos. It produced the desired effect on them, but gave
  me nausea and severe headache. At dark we returned to the vessel. I had
  been so sick during the day, that Peter declared I should go home that
  night, if the devil himself was on patrol. They told me a place of
  concealment had been provided for me at my grandmother’s. I could not
  imagine how it was possible to hide me in her house, every nook and corner
  of which was known to the Flint family. They told me to wait and see. We
  were rowed ashore, and went boldly through the streets, to my
  grandmother’s. I wore my sailor’s clothes, and had blackened my face with
  charcoal. I passed several people whom I knew. The father of my children
  came so near that I brushed against his arm; but he had no idea who it
  was.
<br />
  “You must make the most of this walk,” said my friend Peter, “for you may
  not have another very soon.”
<br />
  I thought his voice sounded sad. It was kind of him to conceal from me
  what a dismal hole was to be my home for a long, long time.
<br />

  [ ]()

  XXI. The Loophole Of Retreat.


  A small shed had been added to my grandmother’s house years ago. Some
  boards were laid across the joists at the top, and between these boards
  and the roof was a very small garret, never occupied by any thing but rats
  and mice. It was a pent roof, covered with nothing but shingles, according
  to the southern custom for such buildings. The garret was only nine feet
  long and seven wide. The highest part was three feet high, and sloped down
  abruptly to the loose board floor. There was no admission for either light
  or air. My uncle Phillip, who was a carpenter, had very skilfully made a
  concealed trap-door, which communicated with the storeroom. He had been
  doing this while I was waiting in the swamp. The storeroom opened upon a
  piazza. To this hole I was conveyed as soon as I entered the house. The
  air was stifling; the darkness total. A bed had been spread on the floor.
  I could sleep quite comfortably on one side; but the slope was so sudden
  that I could not turn on my other without hitting the roof. The rats and
  mice ran over my bed; but I was weary, and I slept such sleep as the
  wretched may, when a tempest has passed over them. Morning came. I knew it
  only by the noises I heard; for in my small den day and night were all the
  same. I suffered for air even more than for light. But I was not
  comfortless. I heard the voices of my children. There was joy and there
  was sadness in the sound. It made my tears flow. How I longed to speak to
  them! I was eager to look on their faces; but there was no hole, no crack,
  through which I could peep. This continued darkness was oppressive. It
  seemed horrible to sit or lie in a cramped position day after day, without
  one gleam of light. Yet I would have chosen this, rather than my lot as a
  slave, though white people considered it an easy one; and it was so
  compared with the fate of others. I was never cruelly overworked; I was
  never lacerated with the whip from head to foot; I was never so beaten and
  bruised that I could not turn from one side to the other; I never had my
  heel-strings cut to prevent my running away; I was never chained to a log
  and forced to drag it about, while I toiled in the fields from morning
  till night; I was never branded with hot iron, or torn by bloodhounds. On
  the contrary, I had always been kindly treated, and tenderly cared for,
  until I came into the hands of Dr. Flint. I had never wished for freedom
  till then. But though my life in slavery was comparatively devoid of
  hardships, God pity the woman who is compelled to lead such a life!
<br />
  My food was passed up to me through the trap-door my uncle had contrived;
  and my grandmother, my uncle Phillip, and aunt Nancy would seize such
  opportunities as they could, to mount up there and chat with me at the
  opening. But of course this was not safe in the daytime. It must all be
  done in darkness. It was impossible for me to move in an erect position,
  but I crawled about my den for exercise. One day I hit my head against
  something, and found it was a gimlet. My uncle had left it sticking there
  when he made the trap-door. I was as rejoiced as Robinson Crusoe could
  have been at finding such a treasure. It put a lucky thought into my head.
  I said to myself, “Now I will have some light. Now I will see my
  children.” I did not dare to begin my work during the daytime, for fear of
  attracting attention. But I groped round; and having found the side next
  the street, where I could frequently see my children, I stuck the gimlet
  in and waited for evening. I bored three rows of holes, one above another;
  then I bored out the interstices between. I thus succeeded in making one
  hole about an inch long and an inch broad. I sat by it till late into the
  night, to enjoy the little whiff of air that floated in. In the morning I
  watched for my children. The first person I saw in the street was Dr.
  Flint. I had a shuddering, superstitious feeling that it was a bad omen.
  Several familiar faces passed by. At last I heard the merry laugh of
  children, and presently two sweet little faces were looking up at me, as
  though they knew I was there, and were conscious of the joy they imparted.
  How I longed to  them I was there!
<br />
  My condition was now a little improved. But for weeks I was tormented by
  hundreds of little red insects, fine as a needle’s point, that pierced
  through my skin, and produced an intolerable burning. The good grandmother
  gave me herb teas and cooling medicines, and finally I got rid of them.
  The heat of my den was intense, for nothing but thin shingles protected me
  from the scorching summer’s sun. But I had my consolations. Through my
  peeping-hole I could watch the children, and when they were near enough, I
  could hear their talk. Aunt Nancy brought me all the news she could hear
  at Dr. Flint’s. From her I learned that the doctor had written to New York
  to a colored woman, who had been born and raised in our neighborhood, and
  had breathed his contaminating atmosphere. He offered her a reward if she
  could find out any thing about me. I know not what was the nature of her
  reply; but he soon after started for New York in haste, saying to his
  family that he had business of importance to transact. I peeped at him as
  he passed on his way to the steamboat. It was a satisfaction to have miles
  of land and water between us, even for a little while; and it was a still
  greater satisfaction to know that he believed me to be in the Free States.
  My little den seemed less dreary than it had done. He returned, as he did
  from his former journey to New York, without obtaining any satisfactory
  information. When he passed our house next morning, Benny was standing at
  the gate. He had heard them say that he had gone to find me, and he called
  out, “Dr. Flint, did you bring my mother home? I want to see her.” The
  doctor stamped his foot at him in a rage, and exclaimed, “Get out of the
  way, you little damned rascal! If you don’t, I’ll cut off your head.”
<br />
  Benny ran terrified into the house, saying, “You can’t put me in jail
  again. I don’t belong to you now.” It was well that the wind carried the
  words away from the doctor’s ear. I told my grandmother of it, when we had
  our next conference at the trap-door, and begged of her not to allow the
  children to be impertinent to the irascible old man.
<br />
  Autumn came, with a pleasant abatement of heat. My eyes had become
  accustomed to the dim light, and by holding my book or work in a certain
  position near the aperture I contrived to read and sew. That was a great
  relief to the tedious monotony of my life. But when winter came, the cold
  penetrated through the thin shingle roof, and I was dreadfully chilled.
  The winters there are not so long, or so severe, as in northern latitudes;
  but the houses are not built to shelter from cold, and my little den was
  peculiarly comfortless. The kind grandmother brought me bedclothes and
  warm drinks. Often I was obliged to lie in bed all day to keep
  comfortable; but with all my precautions, my shoulders and feet were
  frostbitten. O, those long, gloomy days, with no object for my eye to rest
  upon, and no thoughts to occupy my mind, except the dreary past and the
  uncertain future! I was thankful when there came a day sufficiently mild
  for me to wrap myself up and sit at the loophole to watch the passers by.
  Southerners have the habit of stopping and talking in the streets, and I
  heard many conversations not intended to meet my ears. I heard
  slave-hunters planning how to catch some poor fugitive. Several times I
  heard allusions to Dr. Flint, myself, and the history of my children, who,
  perhaps, were playing near the gate. One would say, “I wouldn’t move my
  little finger to catch her, as old Flint’s property.” Another would say,
  “I’ll catch  nigger for the reward. A man ought to have what
  belongs to him, if he  a damned brute.” The opinion was often
  expressed that I was in the Free States. Very rarely did any one suggest
  that I might be in the vicinity. Had the least suspicion rested on my
  grandmother’s house, it would have been burned to the ground. But it was
  the last place they thought of. Yet there was no place, where slavery
  existed, that could have afforded me so good a place of concealment.
<br />
  Dr. Flint and his family repeatedly tried to coax and bribe my children to
  tell something they had heard said about me. One day the doctor took them
  into a shop, and offered them some bright little silver pieces and gay
  handkerchiefs if they would tell where their mother was. Ellen shrank away
  from him, and would not speak; but Benny spoke up, and said, “Dr. Flint, I
  don’t know where my mother is. I guess she’s in New York; and when you go
  there again, I wish you’d ask her to come home, for I want to see her; but
  if you put her in jail, or tell her you’ll cut her head off, I’ll tell her
  to go right back.”
<br />

  [ ]()

  XXII. Christmas Festivities.


  Christmas was approaching. Grandmother brought me materials, and I busied
  myself making some new garments and little playthings for my children.
  Were it not that hiring day is near at hand, and many families are
  fearfully looking forward to the probability of separation in a few days,
  Christmas might be a happy season for the poor slaves. Even slave mothers
  try to gladden the hearts of their little ones on that occasion. Benny and
  Ellen had their Christmas stockings filled. Their imprisoned mother could
  not have the privilege of witnessing their surprise and joy. But I had the
  pleasure of peeping at them as they went into the street with their new
  suits on. I heard Benny ask a little playmate whether Santa Claus brought
  him any thing. “Yes,” replied the boy; “but Santa Claus ain’t a real man.
  It’s the children’s mothers that put things into the stockings.” “No, that
  can’t be,” replied Benny, “for Santa Claus brought Ellen and me these new
  clothes, and my mother has been gone this long time.”
<br />
  How I longed to tell him that his mother made those garments, and that
  many a tear fell on them while she worked!
<br />
  Every child rises early on Christmas morning to see the Johnkannaus.
  Without them, Christmas would be shorn of its greatest attraction. They
  consist of companies of slaves from the plantations, generally of the
  lower class. Two athletic men, in calico wrappers, have a net thrown over
  them, covered with all manner of bright-colored stripes. Cows’ tails are
  fastened to their backs, and their heads are decorated with horns. A box,
  covered with sheepskin, is called the gumbo box. A dozen beat on this,
  while other strike triangles and jawbones, to which bands of dancers keep
  time. For a month previous they are composing songs, which are sung on
  this occasion. These companies, of a hundred each, turn out early in the
  morning, and are allowed to go round till twelve o’clock, begging for
  contributions. Not a door is left unvisited where there is the least
  chance of obtaining a penny or a glass of rum. They do not drink while
  they are out, but carry the rum home in jugs, to have a carousal. These
  Christmas donations frequently amount to twenty or thirty dollars. It is
  seldom that any white man or child refuses to give them a trifle. If he
  does, they regale his ears with the following song:—




  Christmas is a day of feasting, both with white and colored people.
  Slaves, who are lucky enough to have a few shillings, are sure to spend
  them for good eating; and many a turkey and pig is captured, without
  saying, “By your leave, sir.” Those who cannot obtain these, cook a
  ’possum, or a raccoon, from which savory dishes can be made. My
  grandmother raised poultry and pigs for sale and it was her established
  custom to have both a turkey and a pig roasted for Christmas dinner.
<br />
  On this occasion, I was warned to keep extremely quiet, because two guests
  had been invited. One was the town constable, and the other was a free
  colored man, who tried to pass himself off for white, and who was always
  ready to do any mean work for the sake of currying favor with white
  people. My grandmother had a motive for inviting them. She managed to take
  them all over the house. All the rooms on the lower floor were thrown open
  for them to pass in and out; and after dinner, they were invited up stairs
  to look at a fine mocking bird my uncle had just brought home. There, too,
  the rooms were all thrown open that they might look in. When I heard them
  talking on the piazza, my heart almost stood still. I knew this colored
  man had spent many nights hunting for me. Every body knew he had the blood
  of a slave father in his veins; but for the sake of passing himself off
  for white, he was ready to kiss the slaveholders’ feet. How I despised
  him! As for the constable, he wore no false colors. The duties of his
  office were despicable, but he was superior to his companion, inasmuch as
  he did not pretend to be what he was not. Any white man, who could raise
  money enough to buy a slave, would have considered himself degraded by
  being a constable; but the office enabled its possessor to exercise
  authority. If he found any slave out after nine o’clock, he could whip him
  as much as he liked; and that was a privilege to be coveted. When the
  guests were ready to depart, my grandmother gave each of them some of her
  nice pudding, as a present for their wives. Through my peep-hole I saw
  them go out of the gate, and I was glad when it closed after them. So
  passed the first Christmas in my den.
<br />

  [ ]()

  XXIII. Still In Prison.


  When spring returned, and I took in the little patch of green the aperture
  commanded, I asked myself how many more summers and winters I must be
  condemned to spend thus. I longed to draw in a plentiful draught of fresh
  air, to stretch my cramped limbs, to have room to stand erect, to feel the
  earth under my feet again. My relatives were constantly on the lookout for
  a chance of escape; but none offered that seemed practicable, and even
  tolerably safe. The hot summer came again, and made the turpentine drop
  from the thin roof over my head.
<br />
  During the long nights I was restless for want of air, and I had no room
  to toss and turn. There was but one compensation; the atmosphere was so
  stifled that even mosquitos would not condescend to buzz in it. With all
  my detestation of Dr. Flint, I could hardly wish him a worse punishment,
  either in this world or that which is to come, than to suffer what I
  suffered in one single summer. Yet the laws allowed  to be out
  in the free air, while I, guiltless of crime, was pent up here, as the
  only means of avoiding the cruelties the laws allowed him to inflict upon
  me! I don’t know what kept life within me. Again and again, I thought I
  should die before long; but I saw the leaves of another autumn whirl
  through the air, and felt the touch of another winter. In summer the most
  terrible thunder storms were acceptable, for the rain came through the
  roof, and I rolled up my bed that it might cool the hot boards under it.
  Later in the season, storms sometimes wet my clothes through and through,
  and that was not comfortable when the air grew chilly. Moderate storms I
  could keep out by filling the chinks with oakum.
<br />
  But uncomfortable as my situation was, I had glimpses of things out of
  doors, which made me thankful for my wretched hiding-place. One day I saw
  a slave pass our gate, muttering, “It’s his own, and he can kill it if he
  will.” My grandmother told me that woman’s history. Her mistress had that
  day seen her baby for the first time, and in the lineaments of its fair
  face she saw a likeness to her husband. She turned the bondwoman and her
  child out of doors, and forbade her ever to return. The slave went to her
  master, and told him what had happened. He promised to talk with her
  mistress, and make it all right. The next day she and her baby were sold
  to a Georgia trader.
<br />
  Another time I saw a woman rush wildly by, pursued by two men. She was a
  slave, the wet nurse of her mistress’s children. For some trifling offence
  her mistress ordered her to be stripped and whipped. To escape the
  degradation and the torture, she rushed to the river, jumped in, and ended
  her wrongs in death.
<br />
  Senator Brown, of Mississippi, could not be ignorant of many such facts as
  these, for they are of frequent occurrence in every Southern State. Yet he
  stood up in the Congress of the United States, and declared that slavery
  was “a great moral, social, and political blessing; a blessing to the
  master, and a blessing to the slave!”
<br />
  I suffered much more during the second winter than I did during the first.
  My limbs were benumbed by inaction, and the cold filled them with cramp. I
  had a very painful sensation of coldness in my head; even my face and
  tongue stiffened, and I lost the power of speech. Of course it was
  impossible, under the circumstances, to summon any physician. My brother
  William came and did all he could for me. Uncle Phillip also watched
  tenderly over me; and poor grandmother crept up and down to inquire
  whether there were any signs of returning life. I was restored to
  consciousness by the dashing of cold water in my face, and found myself
  leaning against my brother’s arm, while he bent over me with streaming
  eyes. He afterwards told me he thought I was dying, for I had been in an
  unconscious state sixteen hours. I next became delirious, and was in great
  danger of betraying myself and my friends. To prevent this, they stupefied
  me with drugs. I remained in bed six weeks, weary in body and sick at
  heart. How to get medical advice was the question. William finally went to
  a Thompsonian doctor, and described himself as having all my pains and
  aches. He returned with herbs, roots, and ointment. He was especially
  charged to rub on the ointment by a fire; but how could a fire be made in
  my little den? Charcoal in a furnace was tried, but there was no outlet
  for the gas, and it nearly cost me my life. Afterwards coals, already
  kindled, were brought up in an iron pan, and placed on bricks. I was so
  weak, and it was so long since I had enjoyed the warmth of a fire, that
  those few coals actually made me weep. I think the medicines did me some
  good; but my recovery was very slow. Dark thoughts passed through my mind
  as I lay there day after day. I tried to be thankful for my little cell,
  dismal as it was, and even to love it, as part of the price I had paid for
  the redemption of my children. Sometimes I thought God was a compassionate
  Father, who would forgive my sins for the sake of my sufferings. At other
  times, it seemed to me there was no justice or mercy in the divine
  government. I asked why the curse of slavery was permitted to exist, and
  why I had been so persecuted and wronged from youth upward. These things
  took the shape of mystery, which is to this day not so clear to my soul as
  I trust it will be hereafter.
<br />
  In the midst of my illness, grandmother broke down under the weight and
  anxiety and toil. The idea of losing her, who had always been my best
  friend and a mother to my children, was the sorest trial I had yet had. O,
  how earnestly I prayed that she might recover! How hard it seemed, that I
  could not tend upon her, who had so long and so tenderly watched over me!
<br />
  One day the screams of a child nerved me with strength to crawl to my
  peeping-hole, and I saw my son covered with blood. A fierce dog, usually
  kept chained, had seized and bitten him. A doctor was sent for, and I
  heard the groans and screams of my child while the wounds were being sewed
  up. O, what torture to a mother’s heart, to listen to this and be unable
  to go to him!
<br />
  But childhood is like a day in spring, alternately shower and sunshine.
  Before night Benny was bright and lively, threatening the destruction of
  the dog; and great was his delight when the doctor told him the next day
  that the dog had bitten another boy and been shot. Benny recovered from
  his wounds; but it was long before he could walk.
<br />
  When my grandmother’s illness became known, many ladies, who were her
  customers, called to bring her some little comforts, and to inquire
  whether she had every thing she wanted. Aunt Nancy one night asked
  permission to watch with her sick mother, and Mrs. Flint replied, “I don’t
  see any need of your going. I can’t spare you.” But when she found other
  ladies in the neighborhood were so attentive, not wishing to be outdone in
  Christian charity, she also sallied forth, in magnificent condescension,
  and stood by the bedside of her who had loved her in her infancy, and who
  had been repaid by such grievous wrongs. She seemed surprised to find her
  so ill, and scolded uncle Phillip for not sending for Dr. Flint. She
  herself sent for him immediately, and he came. Secure as I was in my
  retreat, I should have been terrified if I had known he was so near me. He
  pronounced my grandmother in a very critical situation, and said if her
  attending physician wished it, he would visit her. Nobody wished to have
  him coming to the house at all hours, and we were not disposed to give him
  a chance to make out a long bill.
<br />
  As Mrs. Flint went out, Sally told her the reason Benny was lame was, that
  a dog had bitten him. “I’m glad of it,” replied she. “I wish he had killed
  him. It would be good news to send to his mother.  day will
  come. The dogs will grab  yet.” With these Christian words she
  and her husband departed, and, to my great satisfaction, returned no more.
<br />
  I learned from uncle Phillip, with feelings of unspeakable joy and
  gratitude, that the crisis was passed and grandmother would live. I could
  now say from my heart, “God is merciful. He has spared me the anguish of
  feeling that I caused her death.”
<br />

  [ ]()

  XXIV. The Candidate For Congress.


  The summer had nearly ended, when Dr. Flint made a third visit to New
  York, in search of me. Two candidates were running for Congress, and he
  returned in season to vote. The father of my children was the Whig
  candidate. The doctor had hitherto been a stanch Whig; but now he exerted
  all his energies for the defeat of Mr. Sands. He invited large parties of
  men to dine in the shade of his trees, and supplied them with plenty of
  rum and brandy. If any poor fellow drowned his wits in the bowl, and, in
  the openness of his convivial heart, proclaimed that he did not mean to
  vote the Democratic ticket, he was shoved into the street without
  ceremony.
<br />
  The doctor expended his liquor in vain. Mr. Sands was elected; an event
  which occasioned me some anxious thoughts. He had not emancipated my
  children, and if he should die they would be at the mercy of his heirs.
  Two little voices, that frequently met my ear, seemed to plead with me not
  to let their father depart without striving to make their freedom secure.
  Years had passed since I had spoken to him. I had not even seen him since
  the night I passed him, unrecognized, in my disguise of a sailor. I
  supposed he would call before he left, to say something to my grandmother
  concerning the children, and I resolved what course to take.
<br />
  The day before his departure for Washington I made arrangements, toward
  evening, to get from my hiding-place into the storeroom below. I found
  myself so stiff and clumsy that it was with great difficulty I could hitch
  from one resting place to another. When I reached the storeroom my ankles
  gave way under me, and I sank exhausted on the floor. It seemed as if I
  could never use my limbs again. But the purpose I had in view roused all
  the strength I had. I crawled on my hands and knees to the window, and,
  screened behind a barrel, I waited for his coming. The clock struck nine,
  and I knew the steamboat would leave between ten and eleven. My hopes were
  failing. But presently I heard his voice, saying to some one, “Wait for me
  a moment. I wish to see aunt Martha.” When he came out, as he passed the
  window, I said, “Stop one moment, and let me speak for my children.” He
  started, hesitated, and then passed on, and went out of the gate. I closed
  the shutter I had partially opened, and sank down behind the barrel. I had
  suffered much; but seldom had I experienced a keener pang than I then
  felt. Had my children, then, become of so little consequence to him? And
  had he so little feeling for their wretched mother that he would not
  listen a moment while she pleaded for them? Painful memories were so busy
  within me, that I forgot I had not hooked the shutter, till I heard some
  one opening it. I looked up. He had come back. “Who called me?” said he,
  in a low tone. “I did,” I replied. “Oh, Linda,” said he, “I knew your
  voice; but I was afraid to answer, lest my friend should hear me. Why do
  you come here? Is it possible you risk yourself in this house? They are
  mad to allow it. I shall expect to hear that you are all ruined,” I did
  not wish to implicate him, by letting him know my place of concealment; so
  I merely said, “I thought you would come to bid grandmother good by, and
  so I came here to speak a few words to you about emancipating my children.
  Many changes may take place during the six months you are gone to
  Washington, and it does not seem right for you to expose them to the risk
  of such changes. I want nothing for myself; all I ask is, that you will
  free my children, or authorize some friend to do it, before you go.”
<br />
  He promised he would do it, and also expressed a readiness; to make any
  arrangements whereby I could be purchased.
<br />
  I heard footsteps approaching, and closed the shutter hastily. I wanted to
  crawl back to my den, without letting the family know what I had done; for
  I knew they would deem it very imprudent. But he stepped back into the
  house, to tell my grandmother that he had spoken with me at the storeroom
  window, and to beg of her not to allow me to remain in the house over
  night. He said it was the height of madness for me to be there; that we
  should certainly all be ruined. Luckily, he was in too much of a hurry to
  wait for a reply, or the dear old woman would surely have told him all.
<br />
  I tried to go back to my den, but found it more difficult to go up than I
  had to come down. Now that my mission was fulfilled, the little strength
  that had supported me through it was gone, and I sank helpless on the
  floor. My grandmother, alarmed at the risk I had run, came into the
  storeroom in the dark, and locked the door behind her. “Linda,” she
  whispered, “where are you?”
<br />
  “I am here by the window,” I replied. “I  have him go away
  without emancipating the children. Who knows what may happen?”
<br />
  “Come, come, child,” said she, “it won’t do for you to stay here another
  minute. You’ve done wrong; but I can’t blame you, poor thing!” I told her
  I could not return without assistance, and she must call my uncle. Uncle
  Phillip came, and pity prevented him from scolding me. He carried me back
  to my dungeon, laid me tenderly on the bed, gave me some medicine, and
  asked me if there was any thing more he could do. Then he went away, and I
  was left with my own thoughts—starless as the midnight darkness
  around me.
<br />
  My friends feared I should become a cripple for life; and I was so weary
  of my long imprisonment that, had it not been for the hope of serving my
  children, I should have been thankful to die; but, for their sakes, I was
  willing to bear on.
<br />

  [ ]()

  XXV. Competition In Cunning.


  Dr. Flint had not given me up. Every now and then he would say to my
  grandmother that I would yet come back, and voluntarily surrender myself;
  and that when I did, I could be purchased by my relatives, or any one who
  wished to buy me. I knew his cunning nature too well not to perceive that
  this was a trap laid for me; and so all my friends understood it. I
  resolved to match my cunning against his cunning. In order to make him
  believe that I was in New York, I resolved to write him a letter dated
  from that place. I sent for my friend Peter, and asked him if he knew any
  trustworthy seafaring person, who would carry such a letter to New York,
  and put it in the post office there. He said he knew one that he would
  trust with his own life to the ends of the world. I reminded him that it
  was a hazardous thing for him to undertake. He said he knew it, but he was
  willing to do any thing to help me. I expressed a wish for a New York
  paper, to ascertain the names of some of the streets. He run his hand into
  his pocket, and said, “Here is half a one, that was round a cap I bought
  of a pedler yesterday.” I told him the letter would be ready the next
  evening. He bade me good by, adding, “Keep up your spirits, Linda;
  brighter days will come by and by.”
<br />
  My uncle Phillip kept watch over the gate until our brief interview was
  over. Early the next morning, I seated myself near the little aperture to
  examine the newspaper. It was a piece of the New York Herald; and, for
  once, the paper that systematically abuses the colored people, was made to
  render them a service. Having obtained what information I wanted
  concerning streets and numbers, I wrote two letters, one to my
  grandmother, the other to Dr. Flint. I reminded him how he, a gray-headed
  man, had treated a helpless child, who had been placed in his power, and
  what years of misery he had brought upon her. To my grandmother, I
  expressed a wish to have my children sent to me at the north, where I
  could teach them to respect themselves, and set them a virtuous example;
  which a slave mother was not allowed to do at the south. I asked her to
  direct her answer to a certain street in Boston, as I did not live in New
  York, though I went there sometimes. I dated these letters ahead, to allow
  for the time it would take to carry them, and sent a memorandum of the
  date to the messenger. When my friend came for the letters, I said, “God
  bless and reward you, Peter, for this disinterested kindness. Pray be
  careful. If you are detected, both you and I will have to suffer
  dreadfully. I have not a relative who would dare to do it for me.” He
  replied, “You may trust to me, Linda. I don’t forget that your father was
  my best friend, and I will be a friend to his children so long as God lets
  me live.”
<br />
  It was necessary to tell my grandmother what I had done, in order that she
  might be ready for the letter, and prepared to hear what Dr. Flint might
  say about my being at the north. She was sadly troubled. She felt sure
  mischief would come of it. I also told my plan to aunt Nancy, in order
  that she might report to us what was said at Dr. Flint’s house. I
  whispered it to her through a crack, and she whispered back, “I hope it
  will succeed. I shan’t mind being a slave all  life, if I can
  only see you and the children free.”
<br />
  I had directed that my letters should be put into the New York post office
  on the 20th of the month. On the evening of the 24th my aunt came to say
  that Dr. Flint and his wife had been talking in a low voice about a letter
  he had received, and that when he went to his office he promised to bring
  it when he came to tea. So I concluded I should hear my letter read the
  next morning. I told my grandmother Dr. Flint would be sure to come, and
  asked her to have him sit near a certain door, and leave it open, that I
  might hear what he said. The next morning I took my station within sound
  of that door, and remained motionless as a statue. It was not long before
  I heard the gate slam, and the well known footsteps enter the house. He
  seated himself in the chair that was placed for him, and said, “Well,
  Martha, I’ve brought you a letter from Linda. She has sent me a letter,
  also. I know exactly where to find her; but I don’t choose to go to Boston
  for her. I had rather she would come back of her own accord, in a
  respectable manner. Her uncle Phillip is the best person to go for her.
  With , she would feel perfectly free to act. I am willing to pay
  his expenses going and returning. She shall be sold to her friends. Her
  children are free; at least I suppose they are; and when you obtain her
  freedom, you’ll make a happy family. I suppose, Martha, you have no
  objection to my reading to you the letter Linda has written to you.”
<br />
  He broke the seal, and I heard him read it. The old villain! He had
  suppressed the letter I wrote to grandmother, and prepared a substitute of
  his own, the purport of which was as follows:—


  “It is very much as I expected it would be,” said the old hypocrite,
  rising to go. “You see the foolish girl has repented of her rashness, and
  wants to return. We must help her to do it, Martha. Talk with Phillip
  about it. If he will go for her, she will trust to him, and come back. I
  should like an answer to-morrow. Good morning, Martha.”
<br />
  As he stepped out on the piazza, he stumbled over my little girl. “Ah,
  Ellen, is that you?” he said, in his most gracious manner. “I didn’t see
  you. How do you do?”
<br />
  “Pretty well, sir,” she replied. “I heard you tell grandmother that my
  mother is coming home. I want to see her.”
<br />
  “Yes, Ellen, I am going to bring her home very soon,” rejoined he; “and
  you shall see her as much as you like, you little curly-headed nigger.”
<br />
  This was as good as a comedy to me, who had heard it all; but grandmother
  was frightened and distressed, because the doctor wanted my uncle to go
  for me.
<br />
  The next evening Dr. Flint called to talk the matter over. My uncle told
  him that from what he had heard of Massachusetts, he judged he should be
  mobbed if he went there after a runaway slave. “All stuff and nonsense,
  Phillip!” replied the doctor. “Do you suppose I want you to kick up a row
  in Boston? The business can all be done quietly. Linda writes that she
  wants to come back. You are her relative, and she would trust .
  The case would be different if I went. She might object to coming with ;
  and the damned abolitionists, if they knew I was her master, would not
  believe me, if I told them she had begged to go back. They would get up a
  row; and I should not like to see Linda dragged through the streets like a
  common negro. She has been very ungrateful to me for all my kindness; but
  I forgive her, and want to act the part of a friend towards her. I have no
  wish to hold her as my slave. Her friends can buy her as soon as she
  arrives here.”
<br />
  Finding that his arguments failed to convince my uncle, the doctor “let
  the cat out of the bag,” by saying that he had written to the mayor of
  Boston, to ascertain whether there was a person of my description at the
  street and number from which my letter was dated. He had omitted this date
  in the letter he had made up to read to my grandmother. If I had dated
  from New York, the old man would probably have made another journey to
  that city. But even in that dark region, where knowledge is so carefully
  excluded from the slave, I had heard enough about Massachusetts to come to
  the conclusion that slaveholders did not consider it a comfortable place
  to go in search of a runaway. That was before the Fugitive Slave Law was
  passed; before Massachusetts had consented to become a “nigger hunter” for
  the south.
<br />
  My grandmother, who had become skittish by seeing her family always in
  danger, came to me with a very distressed countenance, and said, “What
  will you do if the mayor of Boston sends him word that you haven’t been
  there? Then he will suspect the letter was a trick; and maybe he’ll find
  out something about it, and we shall all get into trouble. O Linda, I wish
  you had never sent the letters.”
<br />
  “Don’t worry yourself, Grandmother,” said I. “The mayor of Boston won’t
  trouble himself to hunt niggers for Dr. Flint. The letters will do good in
  the end. I shall get out of this dark hole some time or other.”
<br />
  “I hope you will, child,” replied the good, patient old friend. “You have
  been here a long time; almost five years; but whenever you do go, it will
  break your old grandmother’s heart. I should be expecting every day to
  hear that you were brought back in irons and put in jail. God help you,
  poor child! Let us be thankful that some time or other we shall go ‘where
  the wicked cease from troubling, and the weary are at rest.’” My heart
  responded, Amen.
<br />
  The fact that Dr. Flint had written to the mayor of Boston convinced me
  that he believed my letter to be genuine, and of course that he had no
  suspicion of my being any where in the vicinity. It was a great object to
  keep up this delusion, for it made me and my friends feel less anxious,
  and it would be very convenient whenever there was a chance to escape. I
  resolved, therefore, to continue to write letters from the north from time
  to time.
<br />
  Two or three weeks passed, and as no news came from the mayor of Boston,
  grandmother began to listen to my entreaty to be allowed to leave my cell,
  sometimes, and exercise my limbs to prevent my becoming a cripple. I was
  allowed to slip down into the small storeroom, early in the morning, and
  remain there a little while. The room was all filled up with barrels,
  except a small open space under my trap-door. This faced the door, the
  upper part of which was of glass, and purposely left uncurtained, that the
  curious might look in. The air of this place was close; but it was so much
  better than the atmosphere of my cell, that I dreaded to return. I came
  down as soon as it was light, and remained till eight o’clock, when people
  began to be about, and there was danger that some one might come on the
  piazza. I had tried various applications to bring warmth and feeling into
  my limbs, but without avail. They were so numb and stiff that it was a
  painful effort to move; and had my enemies come upon me during the first
  mornings I tried to exercise them a little in the small unoccupied space
  of the storeroom, it would have been impossible for me to have escaped.
<br />

  [ ]()

  XXVI. Important Era In My Brother’s Life.


  I missed the company and kind attentions of my brother William, who had
  gone to Washington with his master, Mr. Sands. We received several letters
  from him, written without any allusion to me, but expressed in such a
  manner that I knew he did not forget me. I disguised my hand, and wrote to
  him in the same manner. It was a long session; and when it closed, William
  wrote to inform us that Mr. Sands was going to the north, to be gone some
  time, and that he was to accompany him. I knew that his master had
  promised to give him his freedom, but no time had been specified. Would
  William trust to a slave’s chances? I remembered how we used to talk
  together, in our young days, about obtaining our freedom, and I thought it
  very doubtful whether he would come back to us.
<br />
  Grandmother received a letter from Mr. Sands, saying that William had
  proved a most faithful servant, and he would also say a valued friend;
  that no mother had ever trained a better boy. He said he had travelled
  through the Northern States and Canada; and though the abolitionists had
  tried to decoy him away, they had never succeeded. He ended by saying they
  should be at home shortly.
<br />
  We expected letters from William, describing the novelties of his journey,
  but none came. In time, it was reported that Mr. Sands would return late
  in the autumn, accompanied by a bride. Still no letters from William. I
  felt almost sure I should never see him again on southern soil; but had he
  no word of comfort to send to his friends at home? to the poor captive in
  her dungeon? My thoughts wandered through the dark past, and over the
  uncertain future. Alone in my cell, where no eye but God’s could see me, I
  wept bitter tears. How earnestly I prayed to him to restore me to my
  children, and enable me to be a useful woman and a good mother!
<br />
  At last the day arrived for the return of the travellers. Grandmother had
  made loving preparations to welcome her absent boy back to the old
  hearthstone. When the dinner table was laid, William’s place occupied its
  old place. The stage coach went by empty. My grandmother waited dinner.
  She thought perhaps he was necessarily detained by his master. In my
  prison I listened anxiously, expecting every moment to hear my dear
  brother’s voice and step. In the course of the afternoon a lad was sent by
  Mr. Sands to tell grandmother that William did not return with him; that
  the abolitionists had decoyed him away. But he begged her not to feel
  troubled about it, for he felt confident she would see William in a few
  days. As soon as he had time to reflect he would come back, for he could
  never expect to be so well off at the north as he had been with him.
<br />
  If you had seen the tears, and heard the sobs, you would have thought the
  messenger had brought tidings of death instead of freedom. Poor old
  grandmother felt that she should never see her darling boy again. And I
  was selfish. I thought more of what I had lost, than of what my brother
  had gained. A new anxiety began to trouble me. Mr. Sands had expended a
  good deal of money, and would naturally feel irritated by the loss he had
  incurred. I greatly feared this might injure the prospects of my children,
  who were now becoming valuable property. I longed to have their
  emancipation made certain. The more so, because their master and father
  was now married. I was too familiar with slavery not to know that promises
  made to slaves, though with kind intentions, and sincere at the time,
  depend upon many contingencies for their fulfillment.
<br />
  Much as I wished William to be free, the step he had taken made me sad and
  anxious. The following Sabbath was calm and clear; so beautiful that it
  seemed like a Sabbath in the eternal world. My grandmother brought the
  children out on the piazza, that I might hear their voices. She thought it
  would comfort me in my despondency; and it did. They chatted merrily, as
  only children can. Benny said, “Grandmother, do you think uncle Will has
  gone for good? Won’t he ever come back again? May be he’ll find mother. If
  he does,  she be glad to see him! Why don’t you and uncle
  Phillip, and all of us, go and live where mother is? I should like it;
  wouldn’t you, Ellen?”
<br />
  “Yes, I should like it,” replied Ellen; “but how could we find her? Do you
  know the place, grandmother? I don’t remember how mother looked—do
  you, Benny?”
<br />
  Benny was just beginning to describe me when they were interrupted by an
  old slave woman, a near neighbor, named Aggie. This poor creature had
  witnessed the sale of her children, and seen them carried off to parts
  unknown, without any hopes of ever hearing from them again. She saw that
  my grandmother had been weeping, and she said, in a sympathizing tone,
  “What’s the matter, aunt Marthy?”
<br />
  “O Aggie,” she replied, “it seems as if I shouldn’t have any of my
  children or grandchildren left to hand me a drink when I’m dying, and lay
  my old body in the ground. My boy didn’t come back with Mr. Sands. He
  staid at the north.”
<br />
  Poor old Aggie clapped her hands for joy. “Is  what you’s crying
  fur?” she exclaimed. “Git down on your knees and bress de Lord! I don’t
  know whar my poor chillern is, and I nebber ’spect to know. You don’t know
  whar poor Linda’s gone to; but you  know whar her brudder is.
  He’s in free parts; and dat’s de right place. Don’t murmur at de Lord’s
  doings but git down on your knees and tank him for his goodness.”
<br />
  My selfishness was rebuked by what poor Aggie said. She rejoiced over the
  escape of one who was merely her fellow-bondman, while his own sister was
  only thinking what his good fortune might cost her children. I knelt and
  prayed God to forgive me; and I thanked him from my heart, that one of my
  family was saved from the grasp of slavery.
<br />
  It was not long before we received a letter from William. He wrote that
  Mr. Sands had always treated him kindly, and that he had tried to do his
  duty to him faithfully. But ever since he was a boy, he had longed to be
  free; and he had already gone through enough to convince him he had better
  not lose the chance that offered. He concluded by saying, “Don’t worry
  about me, dear grandmother. I shall think of you always; and it will spur
  me on to work hard and try to do right. When I have earned money enough to
  give you a home, perhaps you will come to the north, and we can all live
  happy together.”
<br />
  Mr. Sands told my uncle Phillip the particulars about William’s leaving
  him. He said, “I trusted him as if he were my own brother, and treated him
  as kindly. The abolitionists talked to him in several places; but I had no
  idea they could tempt him. However, I don’t blame William. He’s young and
  inconsiderate, and those Northern rascals decoyed him. I must confess the
  scamp was very bold about it. I met him coming down the steps of the Astor
  House with his trunk on his shoulder, and I asked him where he was going.
  He said he was going to change his old trunk. I told him it was rather
  shabby, and asked if he didn’t need some money. He said, No, thanked me,
  and went off. He did not return so soon as I expected; but I waited
  patiently. At last I went to see if our trunks were packed, ready for our
  journey. I found them locked, and a sealed note on the table informed me
  where I could find the keys. The fellow even tried to be religious. He
  wrote that he hoped God would always bless me, and reward me for my
  kindness; that he was not unwilling to serve me; but he wanted to be a
  free man; and that if I thought he did wrong, he hoped I would forgive
  him. I intended to give him his freedom in five years. He might have
  trusted me. He has shown himself ungrateful; but I shall not go for him,
  or send for him. I feel confident that he will soon return to me.”
<br />
  I afterwards heard an account of the affair from William himself. He had
  not been urged away by abolitionists. He needed no information they could
  give him about slavery to stimulate his desire for freedom. He looked at
  his hands, and remembered that they were once in irons. What security had
  he that they would not be so again? Mr. Sands was kind to him; but he
  might indefinitely postpone the promise he had made to give him his
  freedom. He might come under pecuniary embarrassments, and his property be
  seized by creditors; or he might die, without making any arrangements in
  his favor. He had too often known such accidents to happen to slaves who
  had kind masters, and he wisely resolved to make sure of the present
  opportunity to own himself. He was scrupulous about taking any money from
  his master on false pretences; so he sold his best clothes to pay for his
  passage to Boston. The slaveholders pronounced him a base, ungrateful
  wretch, for thus requiting his master’s indulgence. What would 
  have done under similar circumstances?
<br />
  When Dr. Flint’s family heard that William had deserted Mr. Sands, they
  chuckled greatly over the news. Mrs. Flint made her usual manifestations
  of Christian feeling, by saying, “I’m glad of it. I hope he’ll never get
  him again. I like to see people paid back in their own coin. I reckon
  Linda’s children will have to pay for it. I should be glad to see them in
  the speculator’s hands again, for I’m tired of seeing those little niggers
  march about the streets.”
<br />

  [ ]()

  XXVII. New Destination For The Children.


  Mrs. Flint proclaimed her intention of informing Mrs. Sands who was the
  father of my children. She likewise proposed to tell her what an artful
  devil I was; that I had made a great deal of trouble in her family; that
  when Mr. Sands was at the north, she didn’t doubt I had followed him in
  disguise, and persuaded William to run away. She had some reason to
  entertain such an idea; for I had written from the north, from time to
  time, and I dated my letters from various places. Many of them fell into
  Dr. Flint’s hands, as I expected they would; and he must have come to the
  conclusion that I travelled about a good deal. He kept a close watch over
  my children, thinking they would eventually lead to my detection.
<br />
  A new and unexpected trial was in store for me. One day, when Mr. Sands
  and his wife were walking in the street, they met Benny. The lady took a
  fancy to him, and exclaimed, “What a pretty little negro! Whom does he
  belong to?”
<br />
  Benny did not hear the answer; but he came home very indignant with the
  stranger lady, because she had called him a negro. A few days afterwards,
  Mr. Sands called on my grandmother, and told her he wanted her to take the
  children to his house. He said he had informed his wife of his relation to
  them, and told her they were motherless; and she wanted to see them.
<br />
  When he had gone, my grandmother came and asked what I would do. The
  question seemed a mockery. What  I do? They were Mr. Sands’s
  slaves, and their mother was a slave, whom he had represented to be dead.
  Perhaps he thought I was. I was too much pained and puzzled to come to any
  decision; and the children were carried without my knowledge. Mrs. Sands
  had a sister from Illinois staying with her. This lady, who had no
  children of her own, was so much pleased with Ellen, that she offered to
  adopt her, and bring her up as she would a daughter. Mrs. Sands wanted to
  take Benjamin. When grandmother reported this to me, I was tried almost
  beyond endurance. Was this all I was to gain by what I had suffered for
  the sake of having my children free? True, the prospect 
  fair; but I knew too well how lightly slaveholders held such “parental
  relations.” If pecuniary troubles should come, or if the new wife required
  more money than could conveniently be spared, my children might be thought
  of as a convenient means of raising funds. I had no trust in thee, O
  Slavery! Never should I know peace till my children were emancipated with
  all due formalities of law.
<br />
  I was too proud to ask Mr. Sands to do any thing for my own benefit; but I
  could bring myself to become a supplicant for my children. I resolved to
  remind him of the promise he had made me, and to throw myself upon his
  honor for the performance of it. I persuaded my grandmother to go to him,
  and tell him I was not dead, and that I earnestly entreated him to keep
  the promise he had made me; that I had heard of the recent proposals
  concerning my children, and did not feel easy to accept them; that he had
  promised to emancipate them, and it was time for him to redeem his pledge.
  I knew there was some risk in thus betraying that I was in the vicinity;
  but what will not a mother do for her children? He received the message
  with surprise, and said, “The children are free. I have never intended to
  claim them as slaves. Linda may decide their fate. In my opinion, they had
  better be sent to the north. I don’t think they are quite safe here. Dr.
  Flint boasts that they are still in his power. He says they were his
  daughter’s property, and as she was not of age when they were sold, the
  contract is not legally binding.”
<br />
  So, then, after all I had endured for their sakes, my poor children were
  between two fires; between my old master and their new master! And I was
  powerless. There was no protecting arm of the law for me to invoke. Mr.
  Sands proposed that Ellen should go, for the present, to some of his
  relatives, who had removed to Brooklyn, Long Island. It was promised that
  she should be well taken care of, and sent to school. I consented to it,
  as the best arrangement I could make for her. My grandmother, of course,
  negotiated it all; and Mrs. Sands knew of no other person in the
  transaction. She proposed that they should take Ellen with them to
  Washington, and keep her till they had a good chance of sending her, with
  friends, to Brooklyn. She had an infant daughter. I had had a glimpse of
  it, as the nurse passed with it in her arms. It was not a pleasant thought
  to me, that the bondwoman’s child should tend her free-born sister; but
  there was no alternative. Ellen was made ready for the journey. O, how it
  tried my heart to send her away, so young, alone, among strangers! Without
  a mother’s love to shelter her from the storms of life; almost without
  memory of a mother! I doubted whether she and Benny would have for me the
  natural affection that children feel for a parent. I thought to myself
  that I might perhaps never see my daughter again, and I had a great desire
  that she should look upon me, before she went, that she might take my
  image with her in her memory. It seemed to me cruel to have her brought to
  my dungeon. It was sorrow enough for her young heart to know that her
  mother was a victim of slavery, without seeing the wretched hiding-place
  to which it had driven her. I begged permission to pass the last night in
  one of the open chambers, with my little girl. They thought I was crazy to
  think of trusting such a young child with my perilous secret. I told them
  I had watched her character, and I felt sure she would not betray me; that
  I was determined to have an interview, and if they would not facilitate
  it, I would take my own way to obtain it. They remonstrated against the
  rashness of such a proceeding; but finding they could not change my
  purpose, they yielded. I slipped through the trap-door into the storeroom,
  and my uncle kept watch at the gate, while I passed into the piazza and
  went up stairs, to the room I used to occupy. It was more than five years
  since I had seen it; and how the memories crowded on me! There I had taken
  shelter when my mistress drove me from her house; there came my old
  tyrant, to mock, insult, and curse me; there my children were first laid
  in my arms; there I had watched over them, each day with a deeper and
  sadder love; there I had knelt to God, in anguish of heart, to forgive the
  wrong I had done. How vividly it all came back! And after this long,
  gloomy interval, I stood there such a wreck!
<br />
  In the midst of these meditations, I heard footsteps on the stairs. The
  door opened, and my uncle Phillip came in, leading Ellen by the hand. I
  put my arms round her, and said, “Ellen, my dear child, I am your mother.”
  She drew back a little, and looked at me; then, with sweet confidence, she
  laid her cheek against mine, and I folded her to the heart that had been
  so long desolated. She was the first to speak. Raising her head, she said,
  inquiringly, “You really  my mother?” I told her I really was;
  that during all the long time she had not seen me, I had loved her most
  tenderly; and that now she was going away, I wanted to see her and talk
  with her, that she might remember me. With a sob in her voice, she said,
  “I’m glad you’ve come to see me; but why didn’t you ever come before?
  Benny and I have wanted so much to see you! He remembers you, and
  sometimes he tells me about you. Why didn’t you come home when Dr. Flint
  went to bring you?”
<br />
  I answered, “I couldn’t come before, dear. But now that I am with you,
  tell me whether you like to go away.” “I don’t know,” said she, crying.
  “Grandmother says I ought not to cry; that I am going to a good place,
  where I can learn to read and write, and that by and by I can write her a
  letter. But I shan’t have Benny, or grandmother, or uncle Phillip, or any
  body to love me. Can’t you go with me? O,  go, dear mother!”
<br />
  I told her I couldn’t go now; but sometime I would come to her, and then
  she and Benny and I would live together, and have happy times. She wanted
  to run and bring Benny to see me now. I told her he was going to the
  north, before long, with uncle Phillip, and then I would come to see him
  before he went away. I asked if she would like to have me stay all night
  and sleep with her. “O, yes,” she replied. Then, turning to her uncle, she
  said, pleadingly, “ I stay? Please, uncle! She is my own
  mother.” He laid his hand on her head, and said, solemnly, “Ellen, this is
  the secret you have promised grandmother never to tell. If you ever speak
  of it to any body, they will never let you see your grandmother again, and
  your mother can never come to Brooklyn.” “Uncle,” she replied, “I will
  never tell.” He told her she might stay with me; and when he had gone, I
  took her in my arms and told her I was a slave, and that was the reason
  she must never say she had seen me. I exhorted her to be a good child, to
  try to please the people where she was going, and that God would raise her
  up friends. I told her to say her prayers, and remember always to pray for
  her poor mother, and that God would permit us to meet again. She wept, and
  I did not check her tears. Perhaps she would never again have a chance to
  pour her tears into a mother’s bosom. All night she nestled in my arms,
  and I had no inclination to slumber. The moments were too precious to lose
  any of them. Once, when I thought she was asleep, I kissed her forehead
  softly, and she said, “I am not asleep, dear mother.”
<br />
  Before dawn they came to take me back to my den. I drew aside the window
  curtain, to take a last look of my child. The moonlight shone on her face,
  and I bent over her, as I had done years before, that wretched night when
  I ran away. I hugged her close to my throbbing heart; and tears, too sad
  for such young eyes to shed, flowed down her cheeks, as she gave her last
  kiss, and whispered in my ear, “Mother, I will never tell.” And she never
  did.
<br />
  When I got back to my den, I threw myself on the bed and wept there alone
  in the darkness. It seemed as if my heart would burst. When the time for
  Ellen’s departure drew nigh, I could hear neighbors and friends saying to
  her, “Good by, Ellen. I hope your poor mother will find you out. 
  you be glad to see her!” She replied, “Yes, ma’am;” and they little
  dreamed of the weighty secret that weighed down her young heart. She was
  an affectionate child, but naturally very reserved, except with those she
  loved, and I felt secure that my secret would be safe with her. I heard
  the gate close after her, with such feelings as only a slave mother can
  experience. During the day my meditations were very sad. Sometimes I
  feared I had been very selfish not to give up all claim to her, and let
  her go to Illinois, to be adopted by Mrs. Sands’s sister. It was my
  experience of slavery that decided me against it. I feared that
  circumstances might arise that would cause her to be sent back. I felt
  confident that I should go to New York myself; and then I should be able
  to watch over her, and in some degree protect her.
<br />
  Dr. Flint’s family knew nothing of the proposed arrangement till after
  Ellen was gone, and the news displeased them greatly. Mrs. Flint called on
  Mrs. Sands’s sister to inquire into the matter. She expressed her opinion
  very freely as to the respect Mr. Sands showed for his wife, and for his
  own character, in acknowledging those “young niggers.” And as for sending
  Ellen away, she pronounced it to be just as much stealing as it would be
  for him to come and take a piece of furniture out of her parlor. She said
  her daughter was not of age to sign the bill of sale, and the children
  were her property; and when she became of age, or was married, she could
  take them, wherever she could lay hands on them.
<br />
  Miss Emily Flint, the little girl to whom I had been bequeathed, was now
  in her sixteenth year. Her mother considered it all right and honorable
  for her, or her future husband, to steal my children; but she did not
  understand how any body could hold up their heads in respectable society,
  after they had purchased their own children, as Mr. Sands had done. Dr.
  Flint said very little. Perhaps he thought that Benny would be less likely
  to be sent away if he kept quiet. One of my letters, that fell into his
  hands, was dated from Canada; and he seldom spoke of me now. This state of
  things enabled me to slip down into the storeroom more frequently, where I
  could stand upright, and move my limbs more freely.
<br />
  Days, weeks, and months passed, and there came no news of Ellen. I sent a
  letter to Brooklyn, written in my grandmother’s name, to inquire whether
  she had arrived there. Answer was returned that she had not. I wrote to
  her in Washington; but no notice was taken of it. There was one person
  there, who ought to have had some sympathy with the anxiety of the child’s
  friends at home; but the links of such relations as he had formed with me,
  are easily broken and cast away as rubbish. Yet how protectingly and
  persuasively he once talked to the poor, helpless slave girl! And how
  entirely I trusted him! But now suspicions darkened my mind. Was my child
  dead, or had they deceived me, and sold her?
<br />
  If the secret memoirs of many members of Congress should be published,
  curious details would be unfolded. I once saw a letter from a member of
  Congress to a slave, who was the mother of six of his children. He wrote
  to request that she would send her children away from the great house
  before his return, as he expected to be accompanied by friends. The woman
  could not read, and was obliged to employ another to read the letter. The
  existence of the colored children did not trouble this gentleman, it was
  only the fear that friends might recognize in their features a resemblance
  to him.
<br />
  At the end of six months, a letter came to my grandmother, from Brooklyn.
  It was written by a young lady in the family, and announced that Ellen had
  just arrived. It contained the following message from her: “I do try to do
  just as you told me to, and I pray for you every night and morning.” I
  understood that these words were meant for me; and they were a balsam to
  my heart. The writer closed her letter by saying, “Ellen is a nice little
  girl, and we shall like to have her with us. My cousin, Mr. Sands, has
  given her to me, to be my little waiting-maid. I shall send her to school,
  and I hope some day she will write to you herself.” This letter perplexed
  and troubled me. Had my child’s father merely placed her there till she
  was old enough to support herself? Or had he given her to his cousin, as a
  piece of property? If the last idea was correct, his cousin might return
  to the south at any time, and hold Ellen as a slave. I tried to put away
  from me the painful thought that such a foul wrong could have been done to
  us. I said to myself, “Surely there must be  justice in man;”
  then I remembered, with a sigh, how slavery perverted all the natural
  feelings of the human heart. It gave me a pang to look on my light-hearted
  boy. He believed himself free; and to have him brought under the yoke of
  slavery, would be more than I could bear. How I longed to have him safely
  out of the reach of its power!
<br />

  [ ]()

  XXVIII. Aunt Nancy.


  I have mentioned my greataunt, who was a slave in Dr. Flint’s family, and
  who had been my refuge during the shameful persecutions I suffered from
  him. This aunt had been married at twenty years of age; that is, as far as
  slaves  marry. She had the consent of her master and mistress,
  and a clergyman performed the ceremony. But it was a mere form, without
  any legal value. Her master or mistress could annul it any day they
  pleased. She had always slept on the floor in the entry, near Mrs. Flint’s
  chamber door, that she might be within call. When she was married, she was
  told she might have the use of a small room in an outhouse. Her mother and
  her husband furnished it. He was a seafaring man, and was allowed to sleep
  there when he was at home. But on the wedding evening, the bride was
  ordered to her old post on the entry floor.
<br />
  Mrs. Flint, at that time, had no children; but she was expecting to be a
  mother, and if she should want a drink of water in the night, what could
  she do without her slave to bring it? So my aunt was compelled to lie at
  her door, until one midnight she was forced to leave, to give premature
  birth to a child. In a fortnight she was required to resume her place on
  the entry floor, because Mrs. Flint’s babe needed her attentions. She kept
  her station there through summer and winter, until she had given premature
  birth to six children; and all the while she was employed as night-nurse
  to Mrs. Flint’s children. Finally, toiling all day, and being deprived of
  rest at night, completely broke down her constitution, and Dr. Flint
  declared it was impossible she could ever become the mother of a living
  child. The fear of losing so valuable a servant by death, now induced them
  to allow her to sleep in her little room in the outhouse, except when
  there was sickness in the family. She afterwards had two feeble babes, one
  of whom died in a few days, and the other in four weeks. I well remember
  her patient sorrow as she held the last dead baby in her arms. “I wish it
  could have lived,” she said; “it is not the will of God that any of my
  children should live. But I will try to be fit to meet their little
  spirits in heaven.”
<br />
  Aunt Nancy was housekeeper and waiting-maid in Dr. Flint’s family. Indeed,
  she was the  of the household. Nothing went on well without
  her. She was my mother’s twin sister, and, as far as was in her power, she
  supplied a mother’s place to us orphans. I slept with her all the time I
  lived in my old master’s house, and the bond between us was very strong.
  When my friends tried to discourage me from running away; she always
  encouraged me. When they thought I had better return and ask my master’s
  pardon, because there was no possibility of escape, she sent me word never
  to yield. She said if I persevered I might, perhaps, gain the freedom of
  my children; and even if I perished in doing it, that was better than to
  leave them to groan under the same persecutions that had blighted my own
  life. After I was shut up in my dark cell, she stole away, whenever she
  could, to bring me the news and say something cheering. How often did I
  kneel down to listen to her words of consolation, whispered through a
  crack! “I am old, and have not long to live,” she used to say; “and I
  could die happy if I could only see you and the children free. You must
  pray to God, Linda, as I do for you, that he will lead you out of this
  darkness.” I would beg her not to worry herself on my account; that there
  was an end of all suffering sooner or later, and that whether I lived in
  chains or in freedom, I should always remember her as the good friend who
  had been the comfort of my life. A word from her always strengthened me;
  and not me only. The whole family relied upon her judgement, and were
  guided by her advice. I had been in my cell six years when my grandmother
  was summoned to the bedside of this, her last remaining daughter. She was
  very ill, and they said she would die. Grandmother had not entered Dr.
  Flint’s house for several years. They had treated her cruelly, but she
  thought nothing of that now. She was grateful for permission to watch by
  the death-bed of her child. They had always been devoted to each other;
  and now they sat looking into each other’s eyes, longing to speak of the
  secret that had weighed so much on the hearts of both. My aunt had been
  stricken with paralysis. She lived but two days, and the last day she was
  speechless. Before she lost the power of utterance, she told her mother
  not to grieve if she could not speak to her; that she would try to hold up
  her hand; to let her know that all was well with her. Even the
  hard-hearted doctor was a little softened when he saw the dying woman try
  to smile on the aged mother, who was kneeling by her side. His eyes
  moistened for a moment, as he said she had always been a faithful servant,
  and they should never be able to supply her place. Mrs. Flint took to her
  bed, quite overcome by the shock. While my grandmother sat alone with the
  dead, the doctor came in, leading his youngest son, who had always been a
  great pet with aunt Nancy, and was much attached to her. “Martha,” said
  he, “aunt Nancy loved this child, and when he comes where you are, I hope
  you will be kind to him, for her sake.” She replied, “Your wife was my
  foster-child, Dr. Flint, the foster-sister of my poor Nancy, and you
  little know me if you think I can feel any thing but good will for her
  children.”
<br />
  “I wish the past could be forgotten, and that we might never think of it,”
  said he; “and that Linda would come to supply her aunt’s place. She would
  be worth more to us than all the money that could be paid for her. I wish
  it for your sake also, Martha. Now that Nancy is taken away from you, she
  would be a great comfort to your old age.” He knew he was touching a
  tender chord. Almost choking with grief, my grandmother replied, “It was
  not I that drove Linda away. My grandchildren are gone; and of my nine
  children only one is left. God help me!”
<br />
  To me, the death of this kind relative was an inexpressible sorrow. I knew
  that she had been slowly murdered; and I felt that my troubles had helped
  to finish the work. After I heard of her illness, I listened constantly to
  hear what news was brought from the great house; and the thought that I
  could not go to her made me utterly miserable. At last, as uncle Phillip
  came into the house, I heard some one inquire, “How is she?” and he
  answered, “She is dead.” My little cell seemed whirling round, and I knew
  nothing more till I opened my eyes and found uncle Phillip bending over
  me. I had no need to ask any questions. He whispered, “Linda, she died
  happy.” I could not weep. My fixed gaze troubled him. “Don’t look ”
  he said. “Don’t add to my poor mother’s trouble. Remember how much she has
  to bear, and that we ought to do all we can to comfort her.” Ah, yes, that
  blessed old grandmother, who for seventy-three years had borne the pelting
  storms of a slavemother’s life. She did indeed need consolation!
<br />
  Mrs. Flint had rendered her poor foster-sister childless, apparently
  without any compunction; and with cruel selfishness had ruined her health
  by years of incessant, unrequited toil, and broken rest. But now she
  became very sentimental. I suppose she thought it would be a beautiful
  illustration of the attachment existing between slaveholder and slave, if
  the body of her old worn-out servant was buried at her feet. She sent for
  the clergyman and asked if he had any objection to burying aunt Nancy in
  the doctor’s family burial-place. No colored person had ever been allowed
  interment in the white people’s burying-ground, and the minister knew that
  all the deceased of your family reposed together in the old graveyard of
  the slaves. He therefore replied, “I have no objection to complying with
  your wish; but perhaps aunt Nancy’s  may have some choice as
  to where her remains shall be deposited.”
<br />
  It had never occurred to Mrs. Flint that slaves could have any feelings.
  When my grandmother was consulted, she at once said she wanted Nancy to
  lie with all the rest of her family, and where her own old body would be
  buried. Mrs. Flint graciously complied with her wish, though she said it
  was painful to her to have Nancy buried away from . She might
  have added with touching pathos, “I was so long  to sleep with
  her lying near me, on the entry floor.”
<br />
  My uncle Phillip asked permission to bury his sister at his own expense;
  and slaveholders are always ready to grant  favors to slaves
  and their relatives. The arrangements were very plain, but perfectly
  respectable. She was buried on the Sabbath, and Mrs. Flint’s minister read
  the funeral service. There was a large concourse of colored people, bond
  and free, and a few white persons who had always been friendly to our
  family. Dr. Flint’s carriage was in the procession; and when the body was
  deposited in its humble resting place, the mistress dropped a tear, and
  returned to her carriage, probably thinking she had performed her duty
  nobly.
<br />
  It was talked of by the slaves as a mighty grand funeral. Northern
  travellers, passing through the place, might have described this tribute
  of respect to the humble dead as a beautiful feature in the “patriarchal
  institution;” a touching proof of the attachment between slaveholders and
  their servants; and tender-hearted Mrs. Flint would have confirmed this
  impression, with handkerchief at her eyes.  could have told them
  a different story. We could have given them a chapter of wrongs and
  sufferings, that would have touched their hearts, if they  any
  hearts to feel for the colored people. We could have told them how the
  poor old slavemother had toiled, year after year, to earn eight hundred
  dollars to buy her son Phillip’s right to his own earnings; and how that
  same Phillip paid the expenses of the funeral, which they regarded as
  doing so much credit to the master. We could also have told them of a
  poor, blighted young creature, shut up in a living grave for years, to
  avoid the tortures that would be inflicted on her, if she ventured to come
  out and look on the face of her departed friend.
<br />
  All this, and much more, I thought of, as I sat at my loophole, waiting
  for the family to return from the grave; sometimes weeping, sometimes
  falling asleep, dreaming strange dreams of the dead and the living.
<br />
  It was sad to witness the grief of my bereaved grandmother. She had always
  been strong to bear, and now, as ever, religious faith supported her. But
  her dark life had become still darker, and age and trouble were leaving
  deep traces on her withered face. She had four places to knock for me to
  come to the trap-door, and each place had a different meaning. She now came
  oftener than she had done, and talked to me of her dead daughter, while
  tears trickled slowly down her furrowed cheeks. I said all I could to
  comfort her; but it was a sad reflection, that instead of being able to
  help her, I was a constant source of anxiety and trouble. The poor old
  back was fitted to its burden. It bent under it, but did not break.
<br />

  [ ]()

  XXIX. Preparations For Escape.


  I hardly expect that the reader will credit me, when I affirm that I lived
  in that little dismal hole, almost deprived of light and air, and with no
  space to move my limbs, for nearly seven years. But it is a fact; and to
  me a sad one, even now; for my body still suffers from the effects of that
  long imprisonment, to say nothing of my soul. Members of my family, now
  living in New York and Boston, can testify to the truth of what I say.
<br />
  Countless were the nights that I sat late at the little loophole scarcely
  large enough to give me a glimpse of one twinkling star. There, heard the
  patrols and slave-hunters conferring together about the capture of
  runaways, well knowing how rejoiced they would be to catch me.
<br />
  Season after season, year after year, I peeped at my children’s faces, and
  heard their sweet voices, with a heart yearning all the while to say,
  “Your mother is here.” Sometimes it appeared to me as if ages had rolled
  away since I entered upon that gloomy, monotonous existence. At times, I
  was stupefied and listless; at other times I became very impatient to know
  when these dark years would end, and I should again be allowed to feel the
  sunshine, and breathe the pure air.
<br />
  After Ellen left us, this feeling increased. Mr. Sands had agreed that
  Benny might go to the north whenever his uncle Phillip could go with him;
  and I was anxious to be there also, to watch over my children, and protect
  them so far as I was able. Moreover, I was likely to be drowned out of my
  den, if I remained much longer; for the slight roof was getting badly out
  of repair, and uncle Phillip was afraid to remove the shingles, lest some
  one should get a glimpse of me. When storms occurred in the night, they
  spread mats and bits of carpet, which in the morning appeared to have been
  laid out to dry; but to cover the roof in the daytime might have attracted
  attention. Consequently, my clothes and bedding were often drenched; a
  process by which the pains and aches in my cramped and stiffened limbs
  were greatly increased. I revolved various plans of escape in my mind,
  which I sometimes imparted to my grandmother, when she came to whisper
  with me at the trap-door. The kind-hearted old woman had an intense
  sympathy for runaways. She had known too much of the cruelties inflicted
  on those who were captured. Her memory always flew back at once to the
  sufferings of her bright and handsome son, Benjamin, the youngest and
  dearest of her flock. So, whenever I alluded to the subject, she would
  groan out, “O, don’t think of it, child. You’ll break my heart.” I had no
  good old aunt Nancy now to encourage me; but my brother William and my
  children were continually beckoning me to the north.
<br />
  And now I must go back a few months in my story. I have stated that the
  first of January was the time for selling slaves, or leasing them out to
  new masters. If time were counted by heart-throbs, the poor slaves might
  reckon years of suffering during that festival so joyous to the free. On
  the New Year’s day preceding my aunt’s death, one of my friends, named
  Fanny, was to be sold at auction, to pay her master’s debts. My thoughts
  were with her during all the day, and at night I anxiously inquired what
  had been her fate. I was told that she had been sold to one master, and
  her four little girls to another master, far distant; that she had escaped
  from her purchaser, and was not to be found. Her mother was the old Aggie
  I have spoken of. She lived in a small tenement belonging to my
  grandmother, and built on the same lot with her own house. Her dwelling
  was searched and watched, and that brought the patrols so near me that I
  was obliged to keep very close in my den. The hunters were somehow eluded;
  and not long afterwards Benny accidentally caught sight of Fanny in her
  mother’s hut. He told his grandmother, who charged him never to speak of
  it, explaining to him the frightful consequences; and he never betrayed
  the trust. Aggie little dreamed that my grandmother knew where her
  daughter was concealed, and that the stooping form of her old neighbor was
  bending under a similar burden of anxiety and fear; but these dangerous
  secrets deepened the sympathy between the two old persecuted mothers.
<br />
  My friend Fanny and I remained many weeks hidden within call of each
  other; but she was unconscious of the fact. I longed to have her share my
  den, which seemed a more secure retreat than her own; but I had brought so
  much trouble on my grandmother, that it seemed wrong to ask her to incur
  greater risks. My restlessness increased. I had lived too long in bodily
  pain and anguish of spirit. Always I was in dread that by some accident,
  or some contrivance, slavery would succeed in snatching my children from
  me. This thought drove me nearly frantic, and I determined to steer for
  the North Star at all hazards. At this crisis, Providence opened an
  unexpected way for me to escape. My friend Peter came one evening, and
  asked to speak with me. “Your day has come, Linda,” said he. “I have found
  a chance for you to go to the Free States. You have a fortnight to
  decide.” The news seemed too good to be true; but Peter explained his
  arrangements, and told me all that was necessary was for me to say I would
  go. I was going to answer him with a joyful yes, when the thought of Benny
  came to my mind. I told him the temptation was exceedingly strong, but I
  was terribly afraid of Dr. Flint’s alleged power over my child, and that I
  could not go and leave him behind. Peter remonstrated earnestly. He said
  such a good chance might never occur again; that Benny was free, and could
  be sent to me; and that for the sake of my children’s welfare I ought not
  to hesitate a moment. I told him I would consult with uncle Phillip. My
  uncle rejoiced in the plan, and bade me go by all means. He promised, if
  his life was spared, that he would either bring or send my son to me as
  soon as I reached a place of safety. I resolved to go, but thought nothing
  had better be said to my grandmother till very near the time of departure.
  But my uncle thought she would feel it more keenly if I left here so
  suddenly. “I will reason with her,” said he, “and convince her how
  necessary it is, not only for your sake, but for hers also. You cannot be
  blind to the fact that she is sinking under her burdens.” I was not blind
  to it. I knew that my concealment was an ever-present source of anxiety,
  and that the older she grew the more nervously fearful she was of
  discovery. My uncle talked with her, and finally succeeded in persuading
  her that it was absolutely necessary for me to seize the chance so
  unexpectedly offered.
<br />
  The anticipation of being a free woman proved almost too much for my weak
  frame. The excitement stimulated me, and at the same time bewildered me. I
  made busy preparations for my journey, and for my son to follow me. I
  resolved to have an interview with him before I went, that I might give
  him cautions and advice, and tell him how anxiously I should be waiting
  for him at the north. Grandmother stole up to me as often as possible to
  whisper words of counsel. She insisted upon writing to Dr. Flint, as soon
  as I arrived in the Free States, and asking him to sell me to her. She
  said she would sacrifice her house, and all she had in the world, for the
  sake of having me safe with my children in any part of the world. If she
  could only live to know  she could die in peace. I promised the
  dear old faithful friend that I would write to her as soon as I arrived,
  and put the letter in a safe way to reach her; but in my own mind I
  resolved that not another cent of her hard earnings should be spent to pay
  rapacious slaveholders for what they called their property. And even if I
  had not been unwilling to buy what I had already a right to possess,
  common humanity would have prevented me from accepting the generous offer,
  at the expense of turning my aged relative out of house and home, when she
  was trembling on the brink of the grave.
<br />
  I was to escape in a vessel; but I forbear to mention any further
  particulars. I was in readiness, but the vessel was unexpectedly detained
  several days. Meantime, news came to town of a most horrible murder
  committed on a fugitive slave, named James. Charity, the mother of this
  unfortunate young man, had been an old acquaintance of ours. I have told
  the shocking particulars of his death, in my description of some of the
  neighboring slaveholders. My grandmother, always nervously sensitive about
  runaways, was terribly frightened. She felt sure that a similar fate
  awaited me, if I did not desist from my enterprise. She sobbed, and
  groaned, and entreated me not to go. Her excessive fear was somewhat
  contagious, and my heart was not proof against her extreme agony. I was
  grievously disappointed, but I promised to relinquish my project.
<br />
  When my friend Peter was apprised of this, he was both disappointed and
  vexed. He said, that judging from our past experience, it would be a long
  time before I had such another chance to throw away. I told him it need
  not be thrown away; that I had a friend concealed near by, who would be
  glad enough to take the place that had been provided for me. I told him
  about poor Fanny, and the kind-hearted, noble fellow, who never turned his
  back upon any body in distress, white or black, expressed his readiness to
  help her. Aggie was much surprised when she found that we knew her secret.
  She was rejoiced to hear of such a chance for Fanny, and arrangements were
  made for her to go on board the vessel the next night. They both supposed
  that I had long been at the north, therefore my name was not mentioned in
  the transaction. Fanny was carried on board at the appointed time, and
  stowed away in a very small cabin. This accommodation had been purchased
  at a price that would pay for a voyage to England. But when one proposes
  to go to fine old England, they stop to calculate whether they can afford
  the cost of the pleasure; while in making a bargain to escape from
  slavery, the trembling victim is ready to say, “take all I have, only
  don’t betray me!”
<br />
  The next morning I peeped through my loophole, and saw that it was dark
  and cloudy. At night I received news that the wind was ahead, and the
  vessel had not sailed. I was exceedingly anxious about Fanny, and Peter
  too, who was running a tremendous risk at my instigation. Next day the
  wind and weather remained the same. Poor Fanny had been half dead with
  fright when they carried her on board, and I could readily imagine how she
  must be suffering now. Grandmother came often to my den, to say how
  thankful she was I did not go. On the third morning she rapped for me to
  come down to the storeroom. The poor old sufferer was breaking down under
  her weight of trouble. She was easily flurried now. I found her in a
  nervous, excited state, but I was not aware that she had forgotten to lock
  the door behind her, as usual. She was exceedingly worried about the
  detention of the vessel. She was afraid all would be discovered, and then
  Fanny, and Peter, and I, would all be tortured to death, and Phillip would
  be utterly ruined, and her house would be torn down. Poor Peter! If he
  should die such a horrible death as the poor slave James had lately done,
  and all for his kindness in trying to help me, how dreadful it would be
  for us all! Alas, the thought was familiar to me, and had sent many a
  sharp pang through my heart. I tried to suppress my own anxiety, and speak
  soothingly to her. She brought in some allusion to aunt Nancy, the dear
  daughter she had recently buried, and then she lost all control of
  herself. As she stood there, trembling and sobbing, a voice from the
  piazza called out, “Whar is you, aunt Marthy?” Grandmother was startled,
  and in her agitation opened the door, without thinking of me. In stepped
  Jenny, the mischievous housemaid, who had tried to enter my room, when I
  was concealed in the house of my white benefactress. “I’s bin huntin ebery
  whar for you, aunt Marthy,” said she. “My missis wants you to send her
  some crackers.” I had slunk down behind a barrel, which entirely screened
  me, but I imagined that Jenny was looking directly at the spot, and my
  heart beat violently. My grandmother immediately thought what she had
  done, and went out quickly with Jenny to count the crackers locking the
  door after her. She returned to me, in a few minutes, the perfect picture
  of despair. “Poor child!” she exclaimed, “my carelessness has ruined you.
  The boat ain’t gone yet. Get ready immediately, and go with Fanny. I ain’t
  got another word to say against it now; for there’s no telling what may
  happen this day.”
<br />
  Uncle Phillip was sent for, and he agreed with his mother in thinking that
  Jenny would inform Dr. Flint in less than twenty-four hours. He advised
  getting me on board the boat, if possible; if not, I had better keep very
  still in my den, where they could not find me without tearing the house
  down. He said it would not do for him to move in the matter, because
  suspicion would be immediately excited; but he promised to communicate
  with Peter. I felt reluctant to apply to him again, having implicated him
  too much already; but there seemed to be no alternative. Vexed as Peter
  had been by my indecision, he was true to his generous nature, and said at
  once that he would do his best to help me, trusting I should show myself a
  stronger woman this time.
<br />
  He immediately proceeded to the wharf, and found that the wind had
  shifted, and the vessel was slowly beating down stream. On some pretext of
  urgent necessity, he offered two boatmen a dollar apiece to catch up with
  her. He was of lighter complexion than the boatmen he hired, and when the
  captain saw them coming so rapidly, he thought officers were pursuing his
  vessel in search of the runaway slave he had on board. They hoisted sails,
  but the boat gained upon them, and the indefatigable Peter sprang on
  board.
<br />
  The captain at once recognized him. Peter asked him to go below, to speak
  about a bad bill he had given him. When he told his errand, the captain
  replied, “Why, the woman’s here already; and I’ve put her where you or the
  devil would have a tough job to find her.”
<br />
  “But it is another woman I want to bring,” said Peter. “ is in
  great distress, too, and you shall be paid any thing within reason, if
  you’ll stop and take her.”
<br />
  “What’s her name?” inquired the captain. “Linda,” he replied.
<br />
  “That’s the name of the woman already here,” rejoined the captain. “By
  George! I believe you mean to betray me.”
<br />
  “O!” exclaimed Peter, “God knows I wouldn’t harm a hair of your head. I am
  too grateful to you. But there really  another woman in great
  danger. Do have the humanity to stop and take her!”
<br />
  After a while they came to an understanding. Fanny, not dreaming I was any
  where about in that region, had assumed my name, though she called herself
  Johnson. “Linda is a common name,” said Peter, “and the woman I want to
  bring is Linda Brent.”
<br />
  The captain agreed to wait at a certain place till evening, being
  handsomely paid for his detention.
<br />
  Of course, the day was an anxious one for us all. But we concluded that if
  Jenny had seen me, she would be too wise to let her mistress know of it;
  and that she probably would not get a chance to see Dr. Flint’s family
  till evening, for I knew very well what were the rules in that household.
  I afterwards believed that she did not see me; for nothing ever came of
  it, and she was one of those base characters that would have jumped to
  betray a suffering fellow being for the sake of thirty pieces of silver.
<br />
  I made all my arrangements to go on board as soon as it was dusk. The
  intervening time I resolved to spend with my son. I had not spoken to him
  for seven years, though I had been under the same roof, and seen him every
  day, when I was well enough to sit at the loophole. I did not dare to
  venture beyond the storeroom; so they brought him there, and locked us up
  together, in a place concealed from the piazza door. It was an agitating
  interview for both of us. After we had talked and wept together for a
  little while, he said, “Mother, I’m glad you’re going away. I wish I could
  go with you. I knew you was here; and I have been  afraid they
  would come and catch you!” I was greatly surprised, and asked him how he
  had found it out.
<br />
  He replied, “I was standing under the eaves, one day, before Ellen went
  away, and I heard somebody cough up over the wood shed. I don’t know what
  made me think it was you, but I did think so. I missed Ellen, the night
  before she went away; and grandmother brought her back into the room in
  the night; and I thought maybe she’d been to see , before she
  went, for I heard grandmother whisper to her, ‘Now go to sleep; and
  remember never to tell.’”
<br />
  I asked him if he ever mentioned his suspicions to his sister. He said he
  never did; but after he heard the cough, if he saw her playing with other
  children on that side of the house, he always tried to coax her round to
  the other side, for fear they would hear me cough, too. He said he had
  kept a close lookout for Dr. Flint, and if he saw him speak to a
  constable, or a patrol, he always told grandmother. I now recollected that
  I had seen him manifest uneasiness, when people were on that side of the
  house, and I had at the time been puzzled to conjecture a motive for his
  actions. Such prudence may seem extraordinary in a boy of twelve years,
  but slaves, being surrounded by mysteries, deceptions, and dangers, early
  learn to be suspicious and watchful, and prematurely cautious and cunning.
  He had never asked a question of grandmother, or uncle Phillip, and I had
  often heard him chime in with other children, when they spoke of my being
  at the north.
<br />
  I told him I was now really going to the Free States, and if he was a
  good, honest boy, and a loving child to his dear old grandmother, the Lord
  would bless him, and bring him to me, and we and Ellen would live
  together. He began to tell me that grandmother had not eaten any thing all
  day. While he was speaking, the door was unlocked, and she came in with a
  small bag of money, which she wanted me to take. I begged her to keep a
  part of it, at least, to pay for Benny’s being sent to the north; but she
  insisted, while her tears were falling fast, that I should take the whole.
  “You may be sick among strangers,” she said, “and they would send you to
  the poorhouse to die.” Ah, that good grandmother!
<br />
  For the last time I went up to my nook. Its desolate appearance no longer
  chilled me, for the light of hope had risen in my soul. Yet, even with the
  blessed prospect of freedom before me, I felt very sad at leaving forever
  that old homestead, where I had been sheltered so long by the dear old
  grandmother; where I had dreamed my first young dream of love; and where,
  after that had faded away, my children came to twine themselves so closely
  round my desolate heart. As the hour approached for me to leave, I again
  descended to the storeroom. My grandmother and Benny were there. She took
  me by the hand, and said, “Linda, let us pray.” We knelt down together,
  with my child pressed to my heart, and my other arm round the faithful,
  loving old friend I was about to leave forever. On no other occasion has
  it ever been my lot to listen to so fervent a supplication for mercy and
  protection. It thrilled through my heart, and inspired me with trust in
  God.
<br />
  Peter was waiting for me in the street. I was soon by his side, faint in
  body, but strong of purpose. I did not look back upon the old place,
  though I felt that I should never see it again.
<br />

  [ ]()

  XXX. Northward Bound.


  I never could tell how we reached the wharf. My brain was all of a whirl,
  and my limbs tottered under me. At an appointed place we met my uncle
  Phillip, who had started before us on a different route, that he might
  reach the wharf first, and give us timely warning if there was any danger.
  A row-boat was in readiness. As I was about to step in, I felt something
  pull me gently, and turning round I saw Benny, looking pale and anxious.
  He whispered in my ear, “I’ve been peeping into the doctor’s window, and
  he’s at home. Good by, mother. Don’t cry; I’ll come.” He hastened away. I
  clasped the hand of my good uncle, to whom I owed so much, and of Peter,
  the brave, generous friend who had volunteered to run such terrible risks
  to secure my safety. To this day I remember how his bright face beamed
  with joy, when he told me he had discovered a safe method for me to
  escape. Yet that intelligent, enterprising, noble-hearted man was a
  chattel! Liable, by the laws of a country that calls itself civilized, to
  be sold with horses and pigs! We parted in silence. Our hearts were all
  too full for words!
<br />
  Swiftly the boat glided over the water. After a while, one of the sailors
  said, “Don’t be down-hearted, madam. We will take you safely to your
  husband, in ——.” At first I could not imagine what he meant;
  but I had presence of mind to think that it probably referred to something
  the captain had told him; so I thanked him, and said I hoped we should
  have pleasant weather.
<br />
  When I entered the vessel the captain came forward to meet me. He was an
  elderly man, with a pleasant countenance. He showed me to a little box of
  a cabin, where sat my friend Fanny. She started as if she had seen a
  spectre. She gazed on me in utter astonishment, and exclaimed, “Linda, can
  this be ? or is it your ghost?” When we were locked in each
  other’s arms, my overwrought feelings could no longer be restrained. My
  sobs reached the ears of the captain, who came and very kindly reminded
  us, that for his safety, as well as our own, it would be prudent for us
  not to attract any attention. He said that when there was a sail in sight
  he wished us to keep below; but at other times, he had no objection to our
  being on deck. He assured us that he would keep a good lookout, and if we
  acted prudently, he thought we should be in no danger. He had represented
  us as women going to meet our husbands in ——. We thanked him,
  and promised to observe carefully all the directions he gave us.
<br />
  Fanny and I now talked by ourselves, low and quietly, in our little cabin.
  She told me of the suffering she had gone through in making her escape,
  and of her terrors while she was concealed in her mother’s house. Above
  all, she dwelt on the agony of separation from all her children on that
  dreadful auction day. She could scarcely credit me, when I told her of the
  place where I had passed nearly seven years. “We have the same sorrows,”
  said I. “No,” replied she, “you are going to see your children soon, and
  there is no hope that I shall ever even hear from mine.”
<br />
  The vessel was soon under way, but we made slow progress. The wind was
  against us, I should not have cared for this, if we had been out of sight
  of the town; but until there were miles of water between us and our
  enemies, we were filled with constant apprehensions that the constables
  would come on board. Neither could I feel quite at ease with the captain
  and his men. I was an entire stranger to that class of people, and I had
  heard that sailors were rough, and sometimes cruel. We were so completely
  in their power, that if they were bad men, our situation would be
  dreadful. Now that the captain was paid for our passage, might he not be
  tempted to make more money by giving us up to those who claimed us as
  property? I was naturally of a confiding disposition, but slavery had made
  me suspicious of every body. Fanny did not share my distrust of the
  captain or his men. She said she was afraid at first, but she had been on
  board three days while the vessel lay in the dock, and nobody had betrayed
  her, or treated her otherwise than kindly.
<br />
  The captain soon came to advise us to go on deck for fresh air. His
  friendly and respectful manner, combined with Fanny’s testimony, reassured
  me, and we went with him. He placed us in a comfortable seat, and
  occasionally entered into conversation. He told us he was a Southerner by
  birth, and had spent the greater part of his life in the Slave States, and
  that he had recently lost a brother who traded in slaves. “But,” said he,
  “it is a pitiable and degrading business, and I always felt ashamed to
  acknowledge my brother in connection with it.” As we passed Snaky Swamp,
  he pointed to it, and said, “There is a slave territory that defies all
  the laws.” I thought of the terrible days I had spent there, and though it
  was not called Dismal Swamp, it made me feel very dismal as I looked at
  it.
<br />
  I shall never forget that night. The balmy air of spring was so
  refreshing! And how shall I describe my sensations when we were fairly
  sailing on Chesapeake Bay? O, the beautiful sunshine! the exhilarating
  breeze! And I could enjoy them without fear or restraint. I had never
  realized what grand things air and sunlight are till I had been deprived
  of them.
<br />
  Ten days after we left land we were approaching Philadelphia. The captain
  said we should arrive there in the night, but he thought we had better
  wait till morning, and go on shore in broad daylight, as the best way to
  avoid suspicion.
<br />
  I replied, “You know best. But will you stay on board and protect us?”
<br />
  He saw that I was suspicious, and he said he was sorry, now that he had
  brought us to the end of our voyage, to find I had so little confidence in
  him. Ah, if he had ever been a slave he would have known how difficult it
  was to trust a white man. He assured us that we might sleep through the
  night without fear; that he would take care we were not left unprotected.
  Be it said to the honor of this captain, Southerner as he was, that if
  Fanny and I had been white ladies, and our passage lawfully engaged, he
  could not have treated us more respectfully. My intelligent friend, Peter,
  had rightly estimated the character of the man to whose honor he had
  intrusted us. The next morning I was on deck as soon as the day dawned. I
  called Fanny to see the sun rise, for the first time in our lives, on free
  soil; for such I  believed it to be. We watched the reddening
  sky, and saw the great orb come up slowly out of the water, as it seemed.
  Soon the waves began to sparkle, and every thing caught the beautiful
  glow. Before us lay the city of strangers. We looked at each other, and
  the eyes of both were moistened with tears. We had escaped from slavery,
  and we supposed ourselves to be safe from the hunters. But we were alone
  in the world, and we had left dear ties behind us; ties cruelly sundered
  by the demon Slavery.
<br />

  [ ]()

  XXXI. Incidents In Philadelphia.


  I had heard that the poor slave had many friends at the north. I trusted
  we should find some of them. Meantime, we would take it for granted that
  all were friends, till they proved to the contrary. I sought out the kind
  captain, thanked him for his attentions, and told him I should never cease
  to be grateful for the service he had rendered us. I gave him a message to
  the friends I had left at home, and he promised to deliver it. We were
  placed in a row-boat, and in about fifteen minutes were landed on a wood
  wharf in Philadelphia. As I stood looking round, the friendly captain
  touched me on the shoulder, and said, “There is a respectable-looking
  colored man behind you. I will speak to him about the New York trains, and
  tell him you wish to go directly on.” I thanked him, and asked him to
  direct me to some shops where I could buy gloves and veils. He did so, and
  said he would talk with the colored man till I returned. I made what haste
  I could. Constant exercise on board the vessel, and frequent rubbing with
  salt water, had nearly restored the use of my limbs. The noise of the
  great city confused me, but I found the shops, and bought some double
  veils and gloves for Fanny and myself. The shopman told me they were so
  many levies. I had never heard the word before, but I did not tell him so.
  I thought if he knew I was a stranger he might ask me where I came from. I
  gave him a gold piece, and when he returned the change, I counted it, and
  found out how much a levy was. I made my way back to the wharf, where the
  captain introduced me to the colored man, as the Rev. Jeremiah Durham,
  minister of Bethel church. He took me by the hand, as if I had been an old
  friend. He told us we were too late for the morning cars to New York, and
  must wait until the evening, or the next morning. He invited me to go home
  with him, assuring me that his wife would give me a cordial welcome; and
  for my friend he would provide a home with one of his neighbors. I thanked
  him for so much kindness to strangers, and told him if I must be detained,
  I should like to hunt up some people who formerly went from our part of
  the country. Mr. Durham insisted that I should dine with him, and then he
  would assist me in finding my friends. The sailors came to bid us good by.
  I shook their hardy hands, with tears in my eyes. They had all been kind
  to us, and they had rendered us a greater service than they could possibly
  conceive of.
<br />
  I had never seen so large a city, or been in contact with so many people
  in the streets. It seemed as if those who passed looked at us with an
  expression of curiosity. My face was so blistered and peeled, by sitting
  on deck, in wind and sunshine, that I thought they could not easily decide
  to what nation I belonged.
<br />
  Mrs. Durham met me with a kindly welcome, without asking any questions. I
  was tired, and her friendly manner was a sweet refreshment. God bless her!
  I was sure that she had comforted other weary hearts, before I received
  her sympathy. She was surrounded by her husband and children, in a home
  made sacred by protecting laws. I thought of my own children, and sighed.
<br />
  After dinner Mr. Durham went with me in quest of the friends I had spoken
  of. They went from my native town, and I anticipated much pleasure in
  looking on familiar faces. They were not at home, and we retracted our
  steps through streets delightfully clean. On the way, Mr. Durham observed
  that I had spoken to him of a daughter I expected to meet; that he was
  surprised, for I looked so young he had taken me for a single woman. He
  was approaching a subject on which I was extremely sensitive. He would ask
  about my husband next, I thought, and if I answered him truly, what would
  he think of me? I told him I had two children, one in New York the other
  at the south. He asked some further questions, and I frankly told him some
  of the most important events of my life. It was painful for me to do it;
  but I would not deceive him. If he was desirous of being my friend, I
  thought he ought to know how far I was worthy of it. “Excuse me, if I have
  tried your feelings,” said he. “I did not question you from idle
  curiosity. I wanted to understand your situation, in order to know whether
  I could be of any service to you, or your little girl. Your
  straightforward answers do you credit; but don’t answer every body so
  openly. It might give some heartless people a pretext for treating you
  with contempt.”
<br />
  That word  burned me like coals of fire. I replied, “God
  alone knows how I have suffered; and He, I trust, will forgive me. If I am
  permitted to have my children, I intend to be a good mother, and to live
  in such a manner that people cannot treat me with contempt.”
<br />
  “I respect your sentiments,” said he. “Place your trust in God, and be
  governed by good principles, and you will not fail to find friends.”
<br />
  When we reached home, I went to my room, glad to shut out the world for a
  while. The words he had spoken made an indelible impression upon me. They
  brought up great shadows from the mournful past. In the midst of my
  meditations I was startled by a knock at the door. Mrs. Durham entered,
  her face all beaming with kindness, to say that there was an anti-slavery
  friend down stairs, who would like to see me. I overcame my dread of
  encountering strangers, and went with her. Many questions were asked
  concerning my experiences, and my escape from slavery; but I observed how
  careful they all were not to say any thing that might wound my feelings.
  How gratifying this was, can be fully understood only by those who have
  been accustomed to be treated as if they were not included within the pale
  of human beings. The anti-slavery friend had come to inquire into my
  plans, and to offer assistance, if needed. Fanny was comfortably
  established, for the present, with a friend of Mr. Durham. The
  Anti-Slavery Society agreed to pay her expenses to New York. The same was
  offered to me, but I declined to accept it, telling them that my
  grandmother had given me sufficient to pay my expenses to the end of my
  journey. We were urged to remain in Philadelphia a few days, until some
  suitable escort could be found for us. I gladly accepted the proposition,
  for I had a dread of meeting slaveholders, and some dread also of
  railroads. I had never entered a railroad car in my life, and it seemed to
  me quite an important event.
<br />
  That night I sought my pillow with feelings I had never carried to it
  before. I verily believed myself to be a free woman. I was wakeful for a
  long time, and I had no sooner fallen asleep, than I was roused by
  fire-bells. I jumped up, and hurried on my clothes. Where I came from,
  every body hastened to dress themselves on such occasions. The white
  people thought a great fire might be used as a good opportunity for
  insurrection, and that it was best to be in readiness; and the colored
  people were ordered out to labor in extinguishing the flames. There was
  but one engine in our town, and colored women and children were often
  required to drag it to the river’s edge and fill it. Mrs. Durham’s
  daughter slept in the same room with me, and seeing that she slept through
  all the din, I thought it was my duty to wake her. “What’s the matter?”
  said she, rubbing her eyes.
<br />
  “They’re screaming fire in the streets, and the bells are ringing,” I
  replied.
<br />
  “What of that?” said she, drowsily. “We are used to it. We never get up,
  without the fire is very near. What good would it do?”
<br />
  I was quite surprised that it was not necessary for us to go and help fill
  the engine. I was an ignorant child, just beginning to learn how things
  went on in great cities.
<br />
  At daylight, I heard women crying fresh fish, berries, radishes, and
  various other things. All this was new to me. I dressed myself at an early
  hour, and sat at the window to watch that unknown tide of life.
  Philadelphia seemed to me a wonderfully great place. At the breakfast
  table, my idea of going out to drag the engine was laughed over, and I
  joined in the mirth.
<br />
  I went to see Fanny, and found her so well contented among her new friends
  that she was in no haste to leave. I was also very happy with my kind
  hostess. She had had advantages for education, and was vastly my superior.
  Every day, almost every hour, I was adding to my little stock of
  knowledge. She took me out to see the city as much as she deemed prudent.
  One day she took me to an artist’s room, and showed me the portraits of
  some of her children. I had never seen any paintings of colored people
  before, and they seemed to be beautiful.
<br />
  At the end of five days, one of Mrs. Durham’s friends offered to accompany
  us to New York the following morning. As I held the hand of my good
  hostess in a parting clasp, I longed to know whether her husband had
  repeated to her what I had told him. I supposed he had, but she never made
  any allusion to it. I presume it was the delicate silence of womanly
  sympathy.
<br />
  When Mr. Durham handed us our tickets, he said, “I am afraid you will have
  a disagreeable ride; but I could not procure tickets for the first-class
  cars.”
<br />
  Supposing I had not given him money enough, I offered more. “O, no,” said
  he, “they could not be had for any money. They don’t allow colored people
  to go in the first-class cars.”
<br />
  This was the first chill to my enthusiasm about the Free States. Colored
  people were allowed to ride in a filthy box, behind white people, at the
  south, but there they were not required to pay for the privilege. It made
  me sad to find how the north aped the customs of slavery.
<br />
  We were stowed away in a large, rough car, with windows on each side, too
  high for us to look out without standing up. It was crowded with people,
  apparently of all nations. There were plenty of beds and cradles,
  containing screaming and kicking babies. Every other man had a cigar or
  pipe in his mouth, and jugs of whiskey were handed round freely. The fumes
  of the whiskey and the dense tobacco smoke were sickening to my senses,
  and my mind was equally nauseated by the coarse jokes and ribald songs
  around me. It was a very disagreeable ride. Since that time there has been
  some improvement in these matters.
<br />

  [ ]()

  XXXII. The Meeting Of Mother And Daughter.


  When we arrived in New York, I was half crazed by the crowd of coachmen
  calling out, “Carriage, ma’am?” We bargained with one to take us to
  Sullivan Street for twelve shillings. A burly Irishman stepped up and
  said, “I’ll tak’ ye for sax shillings.” The reduction of half the price
  was an object to us, and we asked if he could take us right away. “Troth
  an I will, ladies,” he replied. I noticed that the hackmen smiled at each
  other, and I inquired whether his conveyance was decent. “Yes, it’s dacent
  it is, marm. Devil a bit would I be after takin’ ladies in a cab that was
  not dacent.” We gave him our checks. He went for the baggage, and soon
  reappeared, saying, “This way, if you plase, ladies.” We followed, and
  found our trunks on a truck, and we were invited to take our seats on
  them. We told him that was not what we bargained for, and he must take the
  trunks off. He swore they should not be touched till we had paid him six
  shillings. In our situation it was not prudent to attract attention, and I
  was about to pay him what he required, when a man near by shook his head
  for me not to do it. After a great ado we got rid of the Irishman, and had
  our trunks fastened on a hack. We had been recommended to a boarding-house
  in Sullivan Street, and thither we drove. There Fanny and I separated. The
  Anti-Slavery Society provided a home for her, and I afterwards heard of
  her in prosperous circumstances. I sent for an old friend from my part of
  the country, who had for some time been doing business in New York. He
  came immediately. I told him I wanted to go to my daughter, and asked him
  to aid me in procuring an interview.
<br />
  I cautioned him not to let it be known to the family that I had just
  arrived from the south, because they supposed I had been at the north
  seven years. He told me there was a colored woman in Brooklyn who came
  from the same town I did, and I had better go to her house, and have my
  daughter meet me there. I accepted the proposition thankfully, and he
  agreed to escort me to Brooklyn. We crossed Fulton ferry, went up Myrtle
  Avenue, and stopped at the house he designated. I was just about to enter,
  when two girls passed. My friend called my attention to them. I turned,
  and recognized in the eldest, Sarah, the daughter of a woman who used to
  live with my grandmother, but who had left the south years ago. Surprised
  and rejoiced at this unexpected meeting, I threw my arms round her, and
  inquired concerning her mother.
<br />
  “You take no notice of the other girl,” said my friend. I turned, and
  there stood my Ellen! I pressed her to my heart, then held her away from
  me to take a look at her. She had changed a good deal in the two years
  since I parted from her. Signs of neglect could be discerned by eyes less
  observing than a mother’s. My friend invited us all to go into the house;
  but Ellen said she had been sent of an errand, which she would do as
  quickly as possible, and go home and ask Mrs. Hobbs to let her come and
  see me. It was agreed that I should send for her the next day. Her
  companion, Sarah, hastened to tell her mother of my arrival. When I
  entered the house, I found the mistress of it absent, and I waited for her
  return. Before I saw her, I heard her saying, “Where is Linda Brent? I
  used to know her father and mother.” Soon Sarah came with her mother. So
  there was quite a company of us, all from my grandmother’s neighborhood.
  These friends gathered round me and questioned me eagerly. They laughed,
  they cried, and they shouted. They thanked God that I had got away from my
  persecutors and was safe on Long Island. It was a day of great excitement.
  How different from the silent days I had passed in my dreary den!
<br />
  The next morning was Sunday. My first waking thoughts were occupied with
  the note I was to send to Mrs. Hobbs, the lady with whom Ellen lived. That
  I had recently come into that vicinity was evident; otherwise I should
  have sooner inquired for my daughter. It would not do to let them know I
  had just arrived from the south, for that would involve the suspicion of
  my having been harbored there, and might bring trouble, if not ruin, on
  several people.
<br />
  I like a straightforward course, and am always reluctant to resort to
  subterfuges. So far as my ways have been crooked, I charge them all upon
  slavery. It was that system of violence and wrong which now left me no
  alternative but to enact a falsehood. I began my note by stating that I
  had recently arrived from Canada, and was very desirous to have my
  daughter come to see me. She came and brought a message from Mrs. Hobbs,
  inviting me to her house, and assuring me that I need not have any fears.
  The conversation I had with my child did not leave my mind at ease. When I
  asked if she was well treated, she answered yes; but there was no
  heartiness in the tone, and it seemed to me that she said it from an
  unwillingness to have me troubled on her account. Before she left me, she
  asked very earnestly, “Mother, will you take me to live with you?” It made
  me sad to think that I could not give her a home till I went to work and
  earned the means; and that might take me a long time. When she was placed
  with Mrs. Hobbs, the agreement was that she should be sent to school She
  had been there two years, and was now nine years old, and she scarcely
  knew her letters. There was no excuse for this, for there were good public
  schools in Brooklyn, to which she could have been sent without expense.
<br />
  She staid with me till dark, and I went home with her. I was received in a
  friendly manner by the family, and all agreed in saying that Ellen was a
  useful, good girl. Mrs. Hobbs looked me coolly in the face, and said, “I
  suppose you know that my cousin, Mr. Sands, has  her to my
  eldest daughter. She will make a nice waiting-maid for her when she grows
  up.” I did not answer a word. How  she, who knew by experience
  the strength of a mother’s love, and who was perfectly aware of the
  relation Mr. Sands bore to my children,—how  she look me
  in the face, while she thrust such a dagger into my heart?
<br />
  I was no longer surprised that they had kept her in such a state of
  ignorance. Mr. Hobbs had formerly been wealthy, but he had failed, and
  afterwards obtained a subordinate situation in the Custom House. Perhaps
  they expected to return to the south some day; and Ellen’s knowledge was
  quite sufficient for a slave’s condition. I was impatient to go to work
  and earn money, that I might change the uncertain position of my children.
  Mr. Sands had not kept his promise to emancipate them. I had also been
  deceived about Ellen. What security had I with regard to Benjamin? I felt
  that I had none.
<br />
  I returned to my friend’s house in an uneasy state of mind. In order to
  protect my children, it was necessary that I should own myself. I called
  myself free, and sometimes felt so; but I knew I was insecure. I sat down
  that night and wrote a civil letter to Dr. Flint, asking him to state the
  lowest terms on which he would sell me; and as I belonged by law to his
  daughter, I wrote to her also, making a similar request.
<br />
  Since my arrival at the north I had not been unmindful of my dear brother
  William. I had made diligent inquiries for him, and having heard of him in
  Boston, I went thither. When I arrived there, I found he had gone to New
  Bedford. I wrote to that place, and was informed he had gone on a whaling
  voyage, and would not return for some months. I went back to New York to
  get employment near Ellen. I received an answer from Dr. Flint, which gave
  me no encouragement. He advised me to return and submit myself to my
  rightful owners, and then any request I might make would be granted. I
  lent this letter to a friend, who lost it; otherwise I would present a
  copy to my readers.
<br />

  [ ]()

  XXXIII. A Home Found.


  My greatest anxiety now was to obtain employment. My health was greatly
  improved, though my limbs continued to trouble me with swelling whenever I
  walked much. The greatest difficulty in my way was, that those who
  employed strangers required a recommendation; and in my peculiar position,
  I could, of course, obtain no certificates from the families I had so
  faithfully served.
<br />
  One day an acquaintance told me of a lady who wanted a nurse for her babe,
  and I immediately applied for the situation. The lady told me she
  preferred to have one who had been a mother, and accustomed to the care of
  infants. I told her I had nursed two babes of my own. She asked me many
  questions, but, to my great relief, did not require a recommendation from
  my former employers. She told me she was an English woman, and that was a
  pleasant circumstance to me, because I had heard they had less prejudice
  against color than Americans entertained. It was agreed that we should try
  each other for a week. The trial proved satisfactory to both parties, and
  I was engaged for a month.
<br />
  The heavenly Father had been most merciful to me in leading me to this
  place. Mrs. Bruce was a kind and gentle lady, and proved a true and
  sympathizing friend. Before the stipulated month expired, the necessity of
  passing up and down stairs frequently, caused my limbs to swell so
  painfully, that I became unable to perform my duties. Many ladies would
  have thoughtlessly discharged me; but Mrs. Bruce made arrangements to save
  me steps, and employed a physician to attend upon me. I had not yet told
  her that I was a fugitive slave. She noticed that I was often sad, and
  kindly inquired the cause. I spoke of being separated from my children,
  and from relatives who were dear to me; but I did not mention the constant
  feeling of insecurity which oppressed my spirits. I longed for some one to
  confide it; but I had been so deceived by white people, that I had lost
  all confidence in them. If they spoke kind words to me, I thought it was
  for some selfish purpose. I had entered this family with the distrustful
  feelings I had brought with me out of slavery; but ere six months had
  passed, I found that the gentle deportment of Mrs. Bruce and the smiles of
  her lovely babe were thawing my chilled heart. My narrow mind also began
  to expand under the influences of her intelligent conversation, and the
  opportunities for reading, which were gladly allowed me whenever I had
  leisure from my duties. I gradually became more energetic and more
  cheerful.
<br />
  The old feeling of insecurity, especially with regard to my children,
  often threw its dark shadow across my sunshine. Mrs. Bruce offered me a
  home for Ellen; but pleasant as it would have been, I did not dare to
  accept it, for fear of offending the Hobbs family. Their knowledge of my
  precarious situation placed me in their power; and I felt that it was
  important for me to keep on the right side of them, till, by dint of labor
  and economy, I could make a home for my children. I was far from feeling
  satisfied with Ellen’s situation. She was not well cared for. She
  sometimes came to New York to visit me; but she generally brought a
  request from Mrs. Hobbs that I would buy her a pair of shoes, or some
  article of clothing. This was accompanied by a promise of payment when Mr.
  Hobbs’s salary at the Custom House became due; but some how or other the
  pay-day never came. Thus many dollars of my earnings were expended to keep
  my child comfortably clothed. That, however, was a slight trouble,
  compared with the fear that their pecuniary embarrassments might induce
  them to sell my precious young daughter. I knew they were in constant
  communication with Southerners, and had frequent opportunities to do it. I
  have stated that when Dr. Flint put Ellen in jail, at two years old, she
  had an inflammation of the eyes, occasioned by measles. This disease still
  troubled her; and kind Mrs. Bruce proposed that she should come to New
  York for a while, to be under the care of Dr. Elliott, a well known
  oculist. It did not occur to me that there was any thing improper in a
  mother’s making such a request; but Mrs. Hobbs was very angry, and refused
  to let her go. Situated as I was, it was not politic to insist upon it. I
  made no complaint, but I longed to be entirely free to act a mother’s part
  towards my children. The next time I went over to Brooklyn, Mrs. Hobbs, as
  if to apologize for her anger, told me she had employed her own physician
  to attend to Ellen’s eyes, and that she had refused my request because she
  did not consider it safe to trust her in New York. I accepted the
  explanation in silence; but she had told me that my child 
  to her daughter, and I suspected that her real motive was a fear of my
  conveying her property away from her. Perhaps I did her injustice; but my
  knowledge of Southerners made it difficult for me to feel otherwise.
<br />
  Sweet and bitter were mixed in the cup of my life, and I was thankful that
  it had ceased to be entirely bitter. I loved Mrs. Bruce’s babe. When it
  laughed and crowed in my face, and twined its little tender arms
  confidingly about my neck, it made me think of the time when Benny and
  Ellen were babies, and my wounded heart was soothed. One bright morning,
  as I stood at the window, tossing baby in my arms, my attention was
  attracted by a young man in sailor’s dress, who was closely observing
  every house as he passed. I looked at him earnestly. Could it be my
  brother William? It  be he—and yet, how changed! I placed
  the baby safely, flew down stairs, opened the front door, beckoned to the
  sailor, and in less than a minute I was clasped in my brother’s arms. How
  much we had to tell each other! How we laughed, and how we cried, over
  each other’s adventures! I took him to Brooklyn, and again saw him with
  Ellen, the dear child whom he had loved and tended so carefully, while I
  was shut up in my miserable den. He staid in New York a week. His old
  feelings of affection for me and Ellen were as lively as ever. There are
  no bonds so strong as those which are formed by suffering together.
<br />

  [ ]()

  XXXIV. The Old Enemy Again.


  My young mistress, Miss Emily Flint, did not return any answer to my
  letter requesting her to consent to my being sold. But after a while, I
  received a reply, which purported to be written by her younger brother. In
  order rightly to enjoy the contents of this letter, the reader must bear
  in mind that the Flint family supposed I had been at the north many years.
  They had no idea that I knew of the doctor’s three excursions to New York
  in search of me; that I had heard his voice, when he came to borrow five
  hundred dollars for that purpose; and that I had seen him pass on his way
  to the steamboat. Neither were they aware that all the particulars of aunt
  Nancy’s death and burial were conveyed to me at the time they occurred. I
  have kept the letter, of which I herewith subjoin a copy:—


  This letter was signed by Emily’s brother, who was as yet a mere lad. I
  knew, by the style, that it was not written by a person of his age, and
  though the writing was disguised, I had been made too unhappy by it, in
  former years, not to recognize at once the hand of Dr. Flint. O, the
  hypocrisy of slaveholders! Did the old fox suppose I was goose enough to
  go into such a trap? Verily, he relied too much on “the stupidity of the
  African race.” I did not return the family of Flints any thanks for their
  cordial invitation—a remissness for which I was, no doubt, charged
  with base ingratitude.
<br />
  Not long afterwards I received a letter from one of my friends at the
  south, informing me that Dr. Flint was about to visit the north. The
  letter had been delayed, and I supposed he might be already on the way.
  Mrs. Bruce did not know I was a fugitive. I told her that important
  business called me to Boston, where my brother then was, and asked
  permission to bring a friend to supply my place as nurse, for a fortnight.
  I started on my journey immediately; and as soon as I arrived, I wrote to
  my grandmother that if Benny came, he must be sent to Boston. I knew she
  was only waiting for a good chance to send him north, and, fortunately,
  she had the legal power to do so, without asking leave of any body. She
  was a free woman; and when my children were purchased, Mr. Sands preferred
  to have the bill of sale drawn up in her name. It was conjectured that he
  advanced the money, but it was not known. At the south, a gentleman may
  have a shoal of colored children without any disgrace; but if he is known
  to purchase them, with the view of setting them free, the example is
  thought to be dangerous to their “peculiar institution,” and he becomes
  unpopular.
<br />
  There was a good opportunity to send Benny in a vessel coming directly to
  New York. He was put on board with a letter to a friend, who was requested
  to see him off to Boston. Early one morning, there was a loud rap at my
  door, and in rushed Benjamin, all out of breath. “O mother!” he exclaimed,
  “here I am! I run all the way; and I come all alone. How d’you do?”
<br />
  O reader, can you imagine my joy? No, you cannot, unless you have been a
  slave mother. Benjamin rattled away as fast as his tongue could go.
  “Mother, why don’t you bring Ellen here? I went over to Brooklyn to see
  her, and she felt very bad when I bid her good by. She said, ‘O Ben, I
  wish I was going too.’ I thought she’d know ever so much; but she don’t
  know so much as I do; for I can read, and she can’t. And, mother, I lost
  all my clothes coming. What can I do to get some more? I ’spose free boys
  can get along here at the north as well as white boys.”
<br />
  I did not like to tell the sanguine, happy little fellow how much he was
  mistaken. I took him to a tailor, and procured a change of clothes. The
  rest of the day was spent in mutual asking and answering of questions,
  with the wish constantly repeated that the good old grandmother was with
  us, and frequent injunctions from Benny to write to her immediately, and
  be sure to tell her every thing about his voyage, and his journey to
  Boston.
<br />
  Dr. Flint made his visit to New York, and made every exertion to call upon
  me, and invite me to return with him, but not being able to ascertain
  where I was, his hospitable intentions were frustrated, and the
  affectionate family, who were waiting for me with “open arms,” were doomed
  to disappointment.
<br />
  As soon as I knew he was safely at home, I placed Benjamin in the care of
  my brother William, and returned to Mrs. Bruce. There I remained through
  the winter and spring, endeavoring to perform my duties faithfully, and
  finding a good degree of happiness in the attractions of baby Mary, the
  considerate kindness of her excellent mother, and occasional interviews
  with my darling daughter.
<br />
  But when summer came, the old feeling of insecurity haunted me. It was
  necessary for me to take little Mary out daily, for exercise and fresh
  air, and the city was swarming with Southerners, some of whom might
  recognize me. Hot weather brings out snakes and slaveholders, and I like
  one class of the venomous creatures as little as I do the other. What a
  comfort it is, to be free to  so!
<br />

  [ ]()

  XXXV. Prejudice Against Color.


  It was a relief to my mind to see preparations for leaving the city. We
  went to Albany in the steamboat Knickerbocker. When the gong sounded for
  tea, Mrs. Bruce said, “Linda, it is late, and you and baby had better come
  to the table with me.” I replied, “I know it is time baby had her supper,
  but I had rather not go with you, if you please. I am afraid of being
  insulted.” “O no, not if you are with ,” she said. I saw several
  white nurses go with their ladies, and I ventured to do the same. We were
  at the extreme end of the table. I was no sooner seated, than a gruff
  voice said, “Get up! You know you are not allowed to sit here.” I looked
  up, and, to my astonishment and indignation, saw that the speaker was a
  colored man. If his office required him to enforce the by-laws of the
  boat, he might, at least, have done it politely. I replied, “I shall not
  get up, unless the captain comes and takes me up.” No cup of tea was
  offered me, but Mrs. Bruce handed me hers and called for another. I looked
  to see whether the other nurses were treated in a similar manner. They
  were all properly waited on.
<br />
  Next morning, when we stopped at Troy for breakfast, every body was making
  a rush for the table. Mrs. Bruce said, “Take my arm, Linda, and we’ll go
  in together.” The landlord heard her, and said, “Madam, will you allow
  your nurse and baby to take breakfast with my family?” I knew this was to
  be attributed to my complexion; but he spoke courteously, and therefore I
  did not mind it.
<br />
  At Saratoga we found the United States Hotel crowded, and Mr. Bruce took
  one of the cottages belonging to the hotel. I had thought, with gladness,
  of going to the quiet of the country, where I should meet few people, but
  here I found myself in the midst of a swarm of Southerners. I looked round
  me with fear and trembling, dreading to see some one who would recognize
  me. I was rejoiced to find that we were to stay but a short time.
<br />
  We soon returned to New York, to make arrangements for spending the
  remainder of the summer at Rockaway. While the laundress was putting the
  clothes in order, I took an opportunity to go over to Brooklyn to see
  Ellen. I met her going to a grocery store, and the first words she said,
  were, “O, mother, don’t go to Mrs. Hobbs’s. Her brother, Mr. Thorne, has
  come from the south, and may be he’ll tell where you are.” I accepted the
  warning. I told her I was going away with Mrs. Bruce the next day, and
  would try to see her when I came back.
<br />
  Being in servitude to the Anglo-Saxon race, I was not put into a “Jim Crow
  car,” on our way to Rockaway, neither was I invited to ride through the
  streets on the top of trunks in a truck; but every where I found the same
  manifestations of that cruel prejudice, which so discourages the feelings,
  and represses the energies of the colored people. We reached Rockaway
  before dark, and put up at the Pavilion—a large hotel, beautifully
  situated by the sea-side—a great resort of the fashionable world.
  Thirty or forty nurses were there, of a great variety of nations. Some of
  the ladies had colored waiting-maids and coachmen, but I was the only
  nurse tinged with the blood of Africa. When the tea bell rang, I took
  little Mary and followed the other nurses. Supper was served in a long
  hall. A young man, who had the ordering of things, took the circuit of the
  table two or three times, and finally pointed me to a seat at the lower
  end of it. As there was but one chair, I sat down and took the child in my
  lap. Whereupon the young man came to me and said, in the blandest manner
  possible, “Will you please to seat the little girl in the chair, and stand
  behind it and feed her? After they have done, you will be shown to the
  kitchen, where you will have a good supper.”
<br />
  This was the climax! I found it hard to preserve my self-control, when I
  looked round, and saw women who were nurses, as I was, and only one shade
  lighter in complexion, eyeing me with a defiant look, as if my presence
  were a contamination. However, I said nothing. I quietly took the child in
  my arms, went to our room, and refused to go to the table again. Mr. Bruce
  ordered meals to be sent to the room for little Mary and I. This answered
  for a few days; but the waiters of the establishment were white, and they
  soon began to complain, saying they were not hired to wait on negroes. The
  landlord requested Mr. Bruce to send me down to my meals, because his
  servants rebelled against bringing them up, and the colored servants of
  other boarders were dissatisfied because all were not treated alike.
<br />
  My answer was that the colored servants ought to be dissatisfied with ,
  for not having too much self-respect to submit to such treatment; that
  there was no difference in the price of board for colored and white
  servants, and there was no justification for difference of treatment. I
  staid a month after this, and finding I was resolved to stand up for my
  rights, they concluded to treat me well. Let every colored man and woman
  do this, and eventually we shall cease to be trampled under foot by our
  oppressors.
<br />

  [ ]()

  XXXVI. The Hairbreadth Escape.


  After we returned to New York, I took the earliest opportunity to go and
  see Ellen. I asked to have her called down stairs; for I supposed Mrs.
  Hobbs’s southern brother might still be there, and I was desirous to avoid
  seeing him, if possible. But Mrs. Hobbs came to the kitchen, and insisted
  on my going up stairs. “My brother wants to see you,” said she, “and he is
  sorry you seem to shun him. He knows you are living in New York. He told
  me to say to you that he owes thanks to good old aunt Martha for too many
  little acts of kindness for him to be base enough to betray her
  grandchild.”
<br />
  This Mr. Thorne had become poor and reckless long before he left the
  south, and such persons had much rather go to one of the faithful old
  slaves to borrow a dollar, or get a good dinner, than to go to one whom
  they consider an equal. It was such acts of kindness as these for which he
  professed to feel grateful to my grandmother. I wished he had kept at a
  distance, but as he was here, and knew where I was, I concluded there was
  nothing to be gained by trying to avoid him; on the contrary, it might be
  the means of exciting his ill will. I followed his sister up stairs. He
  met me in a very friendly manner, congratulated me on my escape from
  slavery, and hoped I had a good place, where I felt happy.
<br />
  I continued to visit Ellen as often as I could. She, good thoughtful
  child, never forgot my hazardous situation, but always kept a vigilant
  lookout for my safety. She never made any complaint about her own
  inconveniences and troubles; but a mother’s observing eye easily perceived
  that she was not happy. On the occasion of one of my visits I found her
  unusually serious. When I asked her what was the matter, she said nothing
  was the matter. But I insisted upon knowing what made her look so very
  grave. Finally, I ascertained that she felt troubled about the dissipation
  that was continually going on in the house. She was sent to the store very
  often for rum and brandy, and she felt ashamed to ask for it so often; and
  Mr. Hobbs and Mr. Thorne drank a great deal, and their hands trembled so
  that they had to call her to pour out the liquor for them. “But for all
  that,” said she, “Mr. Hobbs is good to me, and I can’t help liking him. I
  feel sorry for him.” I tried to comfort her, by telling her that I had
  laid up a hundred dollars, and that before long I hoped to be able to give
  her and Benjamin a home, and send them to school. She was always desirous
  not to add to my troubles more than she could help, and I did not discover
  till years afterwards that Mr. Thorne’s intemperance was not the only
  annoyance she suffered from him. Though he professed too much gratitude to
  my grandmother to injure any of her descendants, he had poured vile
  language into the ears of her innocent great-grandchild.
<br />
  I usually went to Brooklyn to spend Sunday afternoon. One Sunday, I found
  Ellen anxiously waiting for me near the house. “O, mother,” said she,
  “I’ve been waiting for you this long time. I’m afraid Mr. Thorne has
  written to tell Dr. Flint where you are. Make haste and come in. Mrs.
  Hobbs will tell you all about it!”
<br />
  The story was soon told. While the children were playing in the grape-vine
  arbor, the day before, Mr. Thorne came out with a letter in his hand,
  which he tore up and scattered about. Ellen was sweeping the yard at the
  time, and having her mind full of suspicions of him, she picked up the
  pieces and carried them to the children, saying, “I wonder who Mr. Thorne
  has been writing to.”
<br />
  “I’m sure I don’t know, and don’t care,” replied the oldest of the
  children; “and I don’t see how it concerns you.”
<br />
  “But it does concern me,” replied Ellen; “for I’m afraid he’s been writing
  to the south about my mother.”
<br />
  They laughed at her, and called her a silly thing, but good-naturedly put
  the fragments of writing together, in order to read them to her. They were
  no sooner arranged, than the little girl exclaimed, “I declare, Ellen, I
  believe you are right.”
<br />
  The contents of Mr. Thorne’s letter, as nearly as I can remember, were as
  follows: “I have seen your slave, Linda, and conversed with her. She can
  be taken very easily, if you manage prudently. There are enough of us here
  to swear to her identity as your property. I am a patriot, a lover of my
  country, and I do this as an act of justice to the laws.” He concluded by
  informing the doctor of the street and number where I lived. The children
  carried the pieces to Mrs. Hobbs, who immediately went to her brother’s
  room for an explanation. He was not to be found. The servants said they
  saw him go out with a letter in his hand, and they supposed he had gone to
  the post office. The natural inference was, that he had sent to Dr. Flint
  a copy of those fragments. When he returned, his sister accused him of it,
  and he did not deny the charge. He went immediately to his room, and the
  next morning he was missing. He had gone over to New York, before any of
  the family were astir.
<br />
  It was evident that I had no time to lose; and I hastened back to the city
  with a heavy heart. Again I was to be torn from a comfortable home, and
  all my plans for the welfare of my children were to be frustrated by that
  demon Slavery! I now regretted that I never told Mrs. Bruce my story. I
  had not concealed it merely on account of being a fugitive; that would
  have made her anxious, but it would have excited sympathy in her kind
  heart. I valued her good opinion, and I was afraid of losing it, if I told
  her all the particulars of my sad story. But now I felt that it was
  necessary for her to know how I was situated. I had once left her
  abruptly, without explaining the reason, and it would not be proper to do
  it again. I went home resolved to tell her in the morning. But the sadness
  of my face attracted her attention, and, in answer to her kind inquiries,
  I poured out my full heart to her, before bed time. She listened with true
  womanly sympathy, and told me she would do all she could to protect me.
  How my heart blessed her!
<br />
  Early the next morning, Judge Vanderpool and Lawyer Hopper were consulted.
  They said I had better leave the city at once, as the risk would be great
  if the case came to trial. Mrs. Bruce took me in a carriage to the house
  of one of her friends, where she assured me I should be safe until my
  brother could arrive, which would be in a few days. In the interval my
  thoughts were much occupied with Ellen. She was mine by birth, and she was
  also mine by Southern law, since my grandmother held the bill of sale that
  made her so. I did not feel that she was safe unless I had her with me.
  Mrs. Hobbs, who felt badly about her brother’s treachery, yielded to my
  entreaties, on condition that she should return in ten days. I avoided
  making any promise. She came to me clad in very thin garments, all
  outgrown, and with a school satchel on her arm, containing a few articles.
  It was late in October, and I knew the child must suffer; and not daring
  to go out in the streets to purchase any thing, I took off my own flannel
  skirt and converted it into one for her. Kind Mrs. Bruce came to bid me
  good by, and when she saw that I had taken off my clothing for my child,
  the tears came to her eyes. She said, “Wait for me, Linda,” and went out.
  She soon returned with a nice warm shawl and hood for Ellen. Truly, of
  such souls as hers are the kingdom of heaven.
<br />
  My brother reached New York on Wednesday. Lawyer Hopper advised us to go
  to Boston by the Stonington route, as there was less Southern travel in
  that direction. Mrs. Bruce directed her servants to tell all inquirers
  that I formerly lived there, but had gone from the city. We reached the
  steamboat Rhode Island in safety. That boat employed colored hands, but I
  knew that colored passengers were not admitted to the cabin. I was very
  desirous for the seclusion of the cabin, not only on account of exposure
  to the night air, but also to avoid observation. Lawyer Hopper was waiting
  on board for us. He spoke to the stewardess, and asked, as a particular
  favor, that she would treat us well. He said to me, “Go and speak to the
  captain yourself by and by. Take your little girl with you, and I am sure
  that he will not let her sleep on deck.” With these kind words and a shake
  of the hand he departed.
<br />
  The boat was soon on her way, bearing me rapidly from the friendly home
  where I had hoped to find security and rest. My brother had left me to
  purchase the tickets, thinking that I might have better success than he
  would. When the stewardess came to me, I paid what she asked, and she gave
  me three tickets with clipped corners. In the most unsophisticated manner
  I said, “You have made a mistake; I asked you for cabin tickets. I cannot
  possibly consent to sleep on deck with my little daughter.” She assured me
  there was no mistake. She said on some of the routes colored people were
  allowed to sleep in the cabin, but not on this route, which was much
  travelled by the wealthy. I asked her to show me to the captain’s office,
  and she said she would after tea. When the time came, I took Ellen by the
  hand and went to the captain, politely requesting him to change our
  tickets, as we should be very uncomfortable on deck. He said it was
  contrary to their custom, but he would see that we had berths below; he
  would also try to obtain comfortable seats for us in the cars; of that he
  was not certain, but he would speak to the conductor about it, when the
  boat arrived. I thanked him, and returned to the ladies’ cabin. He came
  afterwards and told me that the conductor of the cars was on board, that
  he had spoken to him, and he had promised to take care of us. I was very
  much surprised at receiving so much kindness. I don’t know whether the
  pleasing face of my little girl had won his heart, or whether the
  stewardess inferred from Lawyer Hopper’s manner that I was a fugitive, and
  had pleaded with him in my behalf.
<br />
  When the boat arrived at Stonington, the conductor kept his promise, and
  showed us to seats in the first car, nearest the engine. He asked us to
  take seats next the door, but as he passed through, we ventured to move on
  toward the other end of the car. No incivility was offered us, and we
  reached Boston in safety.
<br />
  The day after my arrival was one of the happiest of my life. I felt as if
  I was beyond the reach of the bloodhounds; and, for the first time during
  many years, I had both my children together with me. They greatly enjoyed
  their reunion, and laughed and chatted merrily. I watched them with a
  swelling heart. Their every motion delighted me.
<br />
  I could not feel safe in New York, and I accepted the offer of a friend,
  that we should share expenses and keep house together. I represented to
  Mrs. Hobbs that Ellen must have some schooling, and must remain with me
  for that purpose. She felt ashamed of being unable to read or spell at her
  age, so instead of sending her to school with Benny, I instructed her
  myself till she was fitted to enter an intermediate school. The winter
  passed pleasantly, while I was busy with my needle, and my children with
  their books.
<br />

  [ ]()

  XXXVII. A Visit To England


  In the spring, sad news came to me. Mrs. Bruce was dead. Never again, in
  this world, should I see her gentle face, or hear her sympathizing voice.
  I had lost an excellent friend, and little Mary had lost a tender mother.
  Mr. Bruce wished the child to visit some of her mother’s relatives in
  England, and he was desirous that I should take charge of her. The little
  motherless one was accustomed to me, and attached to me, and I thought she
  would be happier in my care than in that of a stranger. I could also earn
  more in this way than I could by my needle. So I put Benny to a trade, and
  left Ellen to remain in the house with my friend and go to school.
<br />
  We sailed from New York, and arrived in Liverpool after a pleasant voyage
  of twelve days. We proceeded directly to London, and took lodgings at the
  Adelaide Hotel. The supper seemed to me less luxurious than those I had
  seen in American hotels; but my situation was indescribably more pleasant.
  For the first time in my life I was in a place where I was treated
  according to my deportment, without reference to my complexion. I felt as
  if a great millstone had been lifted from my breast. Ensconced in a
  pleasant room, with my dear little charge, I laid my head on my pillow,
  for the first time, with the delightful consciousness of pure,
  unadulterated freedom.
<br />
  As I had constant care of the child, I had little opportunity to see the
  wonders of that great city; but I watched the tide of life that flowed
  through the streets, and found it a strange contrast to the stagnation in
  our Southern towns. Mr. Bruce took his little daughter to spend some days
  with friends in Oxford Crescent, and of course it was necessary for me to
  accompany her. I had heard much of the systematic method of English
  education, and I was very desirous that my dear Mary should steer straight
  in the midst of so much propriety. I closely observed her little playmates
  and their nurses, being ready to take any lessons in the science of good
  management. The children were more rosy than American children, but I did
  not see that they differed materially in other respects. They were like
  all children—sometimes docile and sometimes wayward.
<br />
  We next went to Steventon, in Berkshire. It was a small town, said to be
  the poorest in the county. I saw men working in the fields for six
  shillings, and seven shillings, a week, and women for sixpence, and
  sevenpence, a day, out of which they boarded themselves. Of course they
  lived in the most primitive manner; it could not be otherwise, where a
  woman’s wages for an entire day were not sufficient to buy a pound of
  meat. They paid very low rents, and their clothes were made of the
  cheapest fabrics, though much better than could have been procured in the
  United States for the same money. I had heard much about the oppression of
  the poor in Europe. The people I saw around me were, many of them, among
  the poorest poor. But when I visited them in their little thatched
  cottages, I felt that the condition of even the meanest and most ignorant
  among them was vastly superior to the condition of the most favored slaves
  in America. They labored hard; but they were not ordered out to toil while
  the stars were in the sky, and driven and slashed by an overseer, through
  heat and cold, till the stars shone out again. Their homes were very
  humble; but they were protected by law. No insolent patrols could come, in
  the dead of night, and flog them at their pleasure. The father, when he
  closed his cottage door, felt safe with his family around him. No master
  or overseer could come and take from him his wife, or his daughter. They
  must separate to earn their living; but the parents knew where their
  children were going, and could communicate with them by letters. The
  relations of husband and wife, parent and child, were too sacred for the
  richest noble in the land to violate with impunity. Much was being done to
  enlighten these poor people. Schools were established among them, and
  benevolent societies were active in efforts to ameliorate their condition.
  There was no law forbidding them to learn to read and write; and if they
  helped each other in spelling out the Bible, they were in no danger of
  thirty-nine lashes, as was the case with myself and poor, pious, old uncle
  Fred. I repeat that the most ignorant and the most destitute of these
  peasants was a thousand fold better off than the most pampered American
  slave.
<br />
  I do not deny that the poor are oppressed in Europe. I am not disposed to
  paint their condition so rose-colored as the Hon. Miss Murray paints the
  condition of the slaves in the United States. A small portion of 
  experience would enable her to read her own pages with anointed eyes. If
  she were to lay aside her title, and, instead of visiting among the
  fashionable, become domesticated, as a poor governess, on some plantation
  in Louisiana or Alabama, she would see and hear things that would make her
  tell quite a different story.
<br />
  My visit to England is a memorable event in my life, from the fact of my
  having there received strong religious impressions. The contemptuous
  manner in which the communion had been administered to colored people, in
  my native place; the church membership of Dr. Flint, and others like him;
  and the buying and selling of slaves, by professed ministers of the
  gospel, had given me a prejudice against the Episcopal church. The whole
  service seemed to me a mockery and a sham. But my home in Steventon was in
  the family of a clergyman, who was a true disciple of Jesus. The beauty of
  his daily life inspired me with faith in the genuineness of Christian
  professions. Grace entered my heart, and I knelt at the communion table, I
  trust, in true humility of soul.
<br />
  I remained abroad ten months, which was much longer than I had
  anticipated. During all that time, I never saw the slightest symptom of
  prejudice against color. Indeed, I entirely forgot it, till the time came
  for us to return to America.
<br />

  [ ]()

  XXXVIII. Renewed Invitations To Go South.


  We had a tedious winter passage, and from the distance spectres seemed to
  rise up on the shores of the United States. It is a sad feeling to be
  afraid of one’s native country. We arrived in New York safely, and I
  hastened to Boston to look after my children. I found Ellen well, and
  improving at her school; but Benny was not there to welcome me. He had
  been left at a good place to learn a trade, and for several months every
  thing worked well. He was liked by the master, and was a favorite with his
  fellow-apprentices; but one day they accidentally discovered a fact they
  had never before suspected—that he was colored! This at once
  transformed him into a different being. Some of the apprentices were
  Americans, others American-born Irish; and it was offensive to their
  dignity to have a “nigger” among them, after they had been told that he 
  a “nigger.” They began by treating him with silent scorn, and finding that
  he returned the same, they resorted to insults and abuse. He was too
  spirited a boy to stand that, and he went off. Being desirous to do
  something to support himself, and having no one to advise him, he shipped
  for a whaling voyage. When I received these tidings I shed many tears, and
  bitterly reproached myself for having left him so long. But I had done it
  for the best, and now all I could do was to pray to the heavenly Father to
  guide and protect him.
<br />
  Not long after my return, I received the following letter from Miss Emily
  Flint, now Mrs. Dodge:—


  Of course I did not write to return thanks for this cordial invitation. I
  felt insulted to be thought stupid enough to be caught by such
  professions.


It was plain that Dr. Flint’s family were apprised of my movements, since they knew of my voyage to Europe. I expected to have further trouble from them; but having eluded them thus far, I hoped to be as successful in future. The money I had earned, I was desirous to devote to the education of my children, and to secure a home for them. It seemed not only hard, but unjust, to pay for myself. I could not possibly regard myself as a piece of property. Moreover, I had worked many years without wages, and during that time had been obliged to depend on my grandmother for many comforts in food and clothing. My children certainly belonged to me; but though Dr. Flint had incurred no expense for their support, he had received a large sum of money for them. I knew the law would decide that I was his property, and would probably still give his daughter a claim to my children; but I regarded such laws as the regulations of robbers, who had no rights that I was bound to respect.
The Fugitive Slave Law had not then passed. The judges of Massachusetts had not then stooped under chains to enter her courts of justice, so called. I knew my old master was rather skittish of Massachusetts. I relied on her love of freedom, and felt safe on her soil. I am now aware that I honored the old Commonwealth beyond her deserts.


  [ ]()

  XXXIX. The Confession.


  For two years my daughter and I supported ourselves comfortably in Boston.
  At the end of that time, my brother William offered to send Ellen to a
  boarding school. It required a great effort for me to consent to part with
  her, for I had few near ties, and it was her presence that made my two
  little rooms seem home-like. But my judgment prevailed over my selfish
  feelings. I made preparations for her departure. During the two years we
  had lived together I had often resolved to tell her something about her
  father; but I had never been able to muster sufficient courage. I had a
  shrinking dread of diminishing my child’s love. I knew she must have
  curiosity on the subject, but she had never asked a question. She was
  always very careful not to say any thing to remind me of my troubles. Now
  that she was going from me, I thought if I should die before she returned,
  she might hear my story from some one who did not understand the
  palliating circumstances; and that if she were entirely ignorant on the
  subject, her sensitive nature might receive a rude shock.
<br />
  When we retired for the night, she said, “Mother, it is very hard to leave
  you alone. I am almost sorry I am going, though I do want to improve
  myself. But you will write to me often; won’t you, mother?”
<br />
  I did not throw my arms round her. I did not answer her. But in a calm,
  solemn way, for it cost me great effort, I said, “Listen to me, Ellen; I
  have something to tell you!” I recounted my early sufferings in slavery,
  and told her how nearly they had crushed me. I began to tell her how they
  had driven me into a great sin, when she clasped me in her arms, and
  exclaimed, “O, don’t, mother! Please don’t tell me any more.”
<br />
  I said, “But, my child, I want you to know about your father.”
<br />
  “I know all about it, mother,” she replied; “I am nothing to my father,
  and he is nothing to me. All my love is for you. I was with him five
  months in Washington, and he never cared for me. He never spoke to me as
  he did to his little Fanny. I knew all the time he was my father, for
  Fanny’s nurse told me so, but she said I must never tell any body, and I
  never did. I used to wish he would take me in his arms and kiss me, as he
  did Fanny; or that he would sometimes smile at me, as he did at her. I
  thought if he was my own father, he ought to love me. I was a little girl
  then, and didn’t know any better. But now I never think any thing about my
  father. All my love is for you.” She hugged me closer as she spoke, and I
  thanked God that the knowledge I had so much dreaded to impart had not
  diminished the affection of my child. I had not the slightest idea she
  knew that portion of my history. If I had, I should have spoken to her
  long before; for my pent-up feelings had often longed to pour themselves
  out to some one I could trust. But I loved the dear girl better for the
  delicacy she had manifested towards her unfortunate mother.
<br />
  The next morning, she and her uncle started on their journey to the
  village in New York, where she was to be placed at school. It seemed as if
  all the sunshine had gone away. My little room was dreadfully lonely. I
  was thankful when a message came from a lady, accustomed to employ me,
  requesting me to come and sew in her family for several weeks. On my
  return, I found a letter from brother William. He thought of opening an
  anti-slavery reading room in Rochester, and combining with it the sale of
  some books and stationery; and he wanted me to unite with him. We tried
  it, but it was not successful. We found warm anti-slavery friends there,
  but the feeling was not general enough to support such an establishment. I
  passed nearly a year in the family of Isaac and Amy Post, practical
  believers in the Christian doctrine of human brotherhood. They measure a
  man’s worth by his character, not by his complexion. The memory of those
  beloved and honored friends will remain with me to my latest hour.
<br />

  [ ]()

  XL. The Fugitive Slave Law.


  My brother, being disappointed in his project, concluded to go to
  California; and it was agreed that Benjamin should go with him. Ellen
  liked her school, and was a great favorite there. They did not know her
  history, and she did not tell it, because she had no desire to make
  capital out of their sympathy. But when it was accidentally discovered
  that her mother was a fugitive slave, every method was used to increase
  her advantages and diminish her expenses.
<br />
  I was alone again. It was necessary for me to be earning money, and I
  preferred that it should be among those who knew me. On my return from
  Rochester, I called at the house of Mr. Bruce, to see Mary, the darling
  little babe that had thawed my heart, when it was freezing into a
  cheerless distrust of all my fellow-beings. She was growing a tall girl
  now, but I loved her always. Mr. Bruce had married again, and it was
  proposed that I should become nurse to a new infant. I had but one
  hesitation, and that was feeling of insecurity in New York, now greatly
  increased by the passage of the Fugitive Slave Law. However, I resolved to
  try the experiment. I was again fortunate in my employer. The new Mrs.
  Bruce was an American, brought up under aristocratic influences, and still
  living in the midst of them; but if she had any prejudice against color, I
  was never made aware of it; and as for the system of slavery, she had a
  most hearty dislike of it. No sophistry of Southerners could blind her to
  its enormity. She was a person of excellent principles and a noble heart.
  To me, from that hour to the present, she has been a true and sympathizing
  friend. Blessings be with her and hers!
<br />
  About the time that I reentered the Bruce family, an event occurred of
  disastrous import to the colored people. The slave Hamlin, the first
  fugitive that came under the new law, was given up by the bloodhounds of
  the north to the bloodhounds of the south. It was the beginning of a reign
  of terror to the colored population. The great city rushed on in its whirl
  of excitement, taking no note of the “short and simple annals of the
  poor.” But while fashionables were listening to the thrilling voice of
  Jenny Lind in Metropolitan Hall, the thrilling voices of poor hunted
  colored people went up, in an agony of supplication, to the Lord, from
  Zion’s church. Many families, who had lived in the city for twenty years,
  fled from it now. Many a poor washerwoman, who, by hard labor, had made
  herself a comfortable home, was obliged to sacrifice her furniture, bid a
  hurried farewell to friends, and seek her fortune among strangers in
  Canada. Many a wife discovered a secret she had never known before—that
  her husband was a fugitive, and must leave her to insure his own safety.
  Worse still, many a husband discovered that his wife had fled from slavery
  years ago, and as “the child follows the condition of its mother,” the
  children of his love were liable to be seized and carried into slavery.
  Every where, in those humble homes, there was consternation and anguish.
  But what cared the legislators of the “dominant race” for the blood they
  were crushing out of trampled hearts?
<br />
  When my brother William spent his last evening with me, before he went to
  California, we talked nearly all the time of the distress brought on our
  oppressed people by the passage of this iniquitous law; and never had I
  seen him manifest such bitterness of spirit, such stern hostility to our
  oppressors. He was himself free from the operation of the law; for he did
  not run from any Slaveholding State, being brought into the Free States by
  his master. But I was subject to it; and so were hundreds of intelligent
  and industrious people all around us. I seldom ventured into the streets;
  and when it was necessary to do an errand for Mrs. Bruce, or any of the
  family, I went as much as possible through back streets and by-ways. What
  a disgrace to a city calling itself free, that inhabitants, guiltless of
  offence, and seeking to perform their duties conscientiously, should be
  condemned to live in such incessant fear, and have nowhere to turn for
  protection! This state of things, of course, gave rise to many impromptu
  vigilance committees. Every colored person, and every friend of their
  persecuted race, kept their eyes wide open. Every evening I examined the
  newspapers carefully, to see what Southerners had put up at the hotels. I
  did this for my own sake, thinking my young mistress and her husband might
  be among the list; I wished also to give information to others, if
  necessary; for if many were “running to and fro,” I resolved that
  “knowledge should be increased.”
<br />
  This brings up one of my Southern reminiscences, which I will here briefly
  relate. I was somewhat acquainted with a slave named Luke, who belonged to
  a wealthy man in our vicinity. His master died, leaving a son and daughter
  heirs to his large fortune. In the division of the slaves, Luke was
  included in the son’s portion. This young man became a prey to the vices
  he went to the north, to complete his education, he carried his vices with
  him. He was brought home, deprived of the use of his limbs, by excessive
  dissipation. Luke was appointed to wait upon his bed-ridden master, whose
  despotic habits were greatly increased by exasperation at his own
  helplessness. He kept a cowhide beside him, and, for the most trivial
  occurrence, he would order his attendant to bare his back, and kneel
  beside the couch, while he whipped him till his strength was exhausted.
  Some days he was not allowed to wear any thing but his shirt, in order to
  be in readiness to be flogged. A day seldom passed without his receiving
  more or less blows. If the slightest resistance was offered, the town
  constable was sent for to execute the punishment, and Luke learned from
  experience how much more the constable’s strong arm was to be dreaded than
  the comparatively feeble one of his master. The arm of his tyrant grew
  weaker, and was finally palsied; and then the constable’s services were in
  constant requisition. The fact that he was entirely dependent on Luke’s
  care, and was obliged to be tended like an infant, instead of inspiring
  any gratitude or compassion towards his poor slave, seemed only to
  increase his irritability and cruelty. As he lay there on his bed, a mere
  degraded wreck of manhood, he took into his head the strangest freaks of
  despotism; and if Luke hesitated to submit to his orders, the constable
  was immediately sent for. Some of these freaks were of a nature too filthy
  to be repeated. When I fled from the house of bondage, I left poor Luke
  still chained to the bedside of this cruel and disgusting wretch.
<br />
  One day, when I had been requested to do an errand for Mrs. Bruce, I was
  hurrying through back streets, as usual, when I saw a young man
  approaching, whose face was familiar to me. As he came nearer, I
  recognized Luke. I always rejoiced to see or hear of any one who had
  escaped from the black pit; I was peculiarly glad to see him on Northern
  soil, though I no longer called it  soil. I well remembered
  what a desolate feeling it was to be alone among strangers, and I went up
  to him and greeted him cordially. At first, he did not know me; but when I
  mentioned my name, he remembered all about me. I told him of the Fugitive
  Slave Law, and asked him if he did not know that New York was a city of
  kidnappers.
<br />
  He replied, “De risk ain’t so bad for me, as ’tis fur you. ’Cause I runned
  away from de speculator, and you runned away from de massa. Dem
  speculators vont spen dar money to come here fur a runaway, if dey ain’t
  sartin sure to put dar hans right on him. An I tell you I’s tuk good car
  ’bout dat. I had too hard times down dar, to let ’em ketch dis nigger.”
<br />
  He then told me of the advice he had received, and the plans he had laid.
  I asked if he had money enough to take him to Canada. “’Pend upon it, I
  hab,” he replied. “I tuk car fur dat. I’d bin workin all my days fur dem
  cussed whites, an got no pay but kicks and cuffs. So I tought dis nigger
  had a right to money nuff to bring him to de Free States. Massa Henry he
  lib till ebery body vish him dead; an ven he did die, I knowed de debbil
  would hab him, an vouldn’t vant him to bring his money ’long too. So I tuk
  some of his bills, and put ’em in de pocket of his ole trousers. An ven he
  was buried, dis nigger ask fur dem ole trousers, an dey gub ’em to me.”
  With a low, chuckling laugh, he added, “You see I didn’t  it;
  dey  it to me. I tell you, I had mighty hard time to keep de
  speculator from findin it; but he didn’t git it.”
<br />
  This is a fair specimen of how the moral sense is educated by slavery.
  When a man has his wages stolen from him, year after year, and the laws
  sanction and enforce the theft, how can he be expected to have more regard
  to honesty than has the man who robs him? I have become somewhat
  enlightened, but I confess that I agree with poor, ignorant, much-abused
  Luke, in thinking he had a  to that money, as a portion of his
  unpaid wages. He went to Canada forthwith, and I have not since heard from
  him.
<br />
  All that winter I lived in a state of anxiety. When I took the children
  out to breathe the air, I closely observed the countenances of all I met.
  I dreaded the approach of summer, when snakes and slaveholders make their
  appearance. I was, in fact, a slave in New York, as subject to slave laws
  as I had been in a Slave State. Strange incongruity in a State called
  free!
<br />
  Spring returned, and I received warning from the south that Dr. Flint knew
  of my return to my old place, and was making preparations to have me
  caught. I learned afterwards that my dress, and that of Mrs. Bruce’s
  children, had been described to him by some of the Northern tools, which
  slaveholders employ for their base purposes, and then indulge in sneers at
  their cupidity and mean servility.
<br />
  I immediately informed Mrs. Bruce of my danger, and she took prompt
  measures for my safety. My place as nurse could not be supplied
  immediately, and this generous, sympathizing lady proposed that I should
  carry her baby away. It was a comfort to me to have the child with me; for
  the heart is reluctant to be torn away from every object it loves. But how
  few mothers would have consented to have one of their own babes become a
  fugitive, for the sake of a poor, hunted nurse, on whom the legislators of
  the country had let loose the bloodhounds! When I spoke of the sacrifice
  she was making, in depriving herself of her dear baby, she replied, “It is
  better for you to have baby with you, Linda; for if they get on your
  track, they will be obliged to bring the child to me; and then, if there
  is a possibility of saving you, you shall be saved.”
<br />
  This lady had a very wealthy relative, a benevolent gentleman in many
  respects, but aristocratic and pro-slavery. He remonstrated with her for
  harboring a fugitive slave; told her she was violating the laws of her
  country; and asked her if she was aware of the penalty. She replied, “I am
  very well aware of it. It is imprisonment and one thousand dollars fine.
  Shame on my country that it  so! I am ready to incur the penalty.
  I will go to the state’s prison, rather than have any poor victim torn
  from  house, to be carried back to slavery.”
<br />
  The noble heart! The brave heart! The tears are in my eyes while I write
  of her. May the God of the helpless reward her for her sympathy with my
  persecuted people!
<br />
  I was sent into New England, where I was sheltered by the wife of a
  senator, whom I shall always hold in grateful remembrance. This honorable
  gentleman would not have voted for the Fugitive Slave Law, as did the
  senator in “Uncle Tom’s Cabin;” on the contrary, he was strongly opposed
  to it; but he was enough under its influence to be afraid of having me
  remain in his house many hours. So I was sent into the country, where I
  remained a month with the baby. When it was supposed that Dr. Flint’s
  emissaries had lost track of me, and given up the pursuit for the present,
  I returned to New York.
<br />

  [ ]()

  XLI. Free At Last.


  Mrs. Bruce, and every member of her family, were exceedingly kind to me. I
  was thankful for the blessings of my lot, yet I could not always wear a
  cheerful countenance. I was doing harm to no one; on the contrary, I was
  doing all the good I could in my small way; yet I could never go out to
  breathe God’s free air without trepidation at my heart. This seemed hard;
  and I could not think it was a right state of things in any civilized
  country.
<br />
  From time to time I received news from my good old grandmother. She could
  not write; but she employed others to write for her. The following is an
  extract from one of her last letters:—


  These letters both cheered and saddened me. I was always glad to have
  tidings from the kind, faithful old friend of my unhappy youth; but her
  messages of love made my heart yearn to see her before she died, and I
  mourned over the fact that it was impossible. Some months after I returned
  from my flight to New England, I received a letter from her, in which she
  wrote, “Dr. Flint is dead. He has left a distressed family. Poor old man!
  I hope he made his peace with God.”
<br />
  I remembered how he had defrauded my grandmother of the hard earnings she
  had loaned; how he had tried to cheat her out of the freedom her mistress
  had promised her, and how he had persecuted her children; and I thought to
  myself that she was a better Christian than I was, if she could entirely
  forgive him. I cannot say, with truth, that the news of my old master’s
  death softened my feelings towards him. There are wrongs which even the
  grave does not bury. The man was odious to me while he lived, and his
  memory is odious now.
<br />
  His departure from this world did not diminish my danger. He had
  threatened my grandmother that his heirs should hold me in slavery after
  he was gone; that I never should be free so long as a child of his
  survived. As for Mrs. Flint, I had seen her in deeper afflictions than I
  supposed the loss of her husband would be, for she had buried several
  children; yet I never saw any signs of softening in her heart. The doctor
  had died in embarrassed circumstances, and had little to will to his
  heirs, except such property as he was unable to grasp. I was well aware
  what I had to expect from the family of Flints; and my fears were
  confirmed by a letter from the south, warning me to be on my guard,
  because Mrs. Flint openly declared that her daughter could not afford to
  lose so valuable a slave as I was.
<br />
  I kept close watch of the newspapers for arrivals; but one Saturday night,
  being much occupied, I forgot to examine the Evening Express as usual. I
  went down into the parlor for it, early in the morning, and found the boy
  about to kindle a fire with it. I took it from him and examined the list
  of arrivals. Reader, if you have never been a slave, you cannot imagine
  the acute sensation of suffering at my heart, when I read the names of Mr.
  and Mrs. Dodge, at a hotel in Courtland Street. It was a third-rate hotel,
  and that circumstance convinced me of the truth of what I had heard, that
  they were short of funds and had need of my value, as  valued
  me; and that was by dollars and cents. I hastened with the paper to Mrs.
  Bruce. Her heart and hand were always open to every one in distress, and
  she always warmly sympathized with mine. It was impossible to tell how
  near the enemy was. He might have passed and repassed the house while we
  were sleeping. He might at that moment be waiting to pounce upon me if I
  ventured out of doors. I had never seen the husband of my young mistress,
  and therefore I could not distinguish him from any other stranger. A
  carriage was hastily ordered; and, closely veiled, I followed Mrs. Bruce,
  taking the baby again with me into exile. After various turnings and
  crossings, and returnings, the carriage stopped at the house of one of
  Mrs. Bruce’s friends, where I was kindly received. Mrs. Bruce returned
  immediately, to instruct the domestics what to say if any one came to
  inquire for me.
<br />
  It was lucky for me that the evening paper was not burned up before I had
  a chance to examine the list of arrivals. It was not long after Mrs.
  Bruce’s return to her house, before several people came to inquire for me.
  One inquired for me, another asked for my daughter Ellen, and another said
  he had a letter from my grandmother, which he was requested to deliver in
  person.
<br />
  They were told, “She  lived here, but she has left.”
<br />
  “How long ago?”
<br />
  “I don’t know, sir.”
<br />
  “Do you know where she went?”
<br />
  “I do not, sir.” And the door was closed.
<br />
  This Mr. Dodge, who claimed me as his property, was originally a Yankee
  pedler in the south; then he became a merchant, and finally a slaveholder.
  He managed to get introduced into what was called the first society, and
  married Miss Emily Flint. A quarrel arose between him and her brother, and
  the brother cowhided him. This led to a family feud, and he proposed to
  remove to Virginia. Dr. Flint left him no property, and his own means had
  become circumscribed, while a wife and children depended upon him for
  support. Under these circumstances, it was very natural that he should
  make an effort to put me into his pocket.
<br />
  I had a colored friend, a man from my native place, in whom I had the most
  implicit confidence. I sent for him, and told him that Mr. and Mrs. Dodge
  had arrived in New York. I proposed that he should call upon them to make
  inquiries about his friends at the south, with whom Dr. Flint’s family
  were well acquainted. He thought there was no impropriety in his doing so,
  and he consented. He went to the hotel, and knocked at the door of Mr.
  Dodge’s room, which was opened by the gentleman himself, who gruffly
  inquired, “What brought you here? How came you to know I was in the city?”
<br />
  “Your arrival was published in the evening papers, sir; and I called to
  ask Mrs. Dodge about my friends at home. I didn’t suppose it would give
  any offence.”
<br />
  “Where’s that negro girl, that belongs to my wife?”
<br />
  “What girl, sir?”
<br />
  “You know well enough. I mean Linda, that ran away from Dr. Flint’s
  plantation, some years ago. I dare say you’ve seen her, and know where she
  is.”
<br />
  “Yes, sir, I’ve seen her, and know where she is. She is out of your reach,
  sir.”
<br />
  “Tell me where she is, or bring her to me, and I will give her a chance to
  buy her freedom.”
<br />
  “I don’t think it would be of any use, sir. I have heard her say she would
  go to the ends of the earth, rather than pay any man or woman for her
  freedom, because she thinks she has a right to it. Besides, she couldn’t
  do it, if she would, for she has spent her earnings to educate her
  children.”
<br />
  This made Mr. Dodge very angry, and some high words passed between them.
  My friend was afraid to come where I was; but in the course of the day I
  received a note from him. I supposed they had not come from the south, in
  the winter, for a pleasure excursion; and now the nature of their business
  was very plain.
<br />
  Mrs. Bruce came to me and entreated me to leave the city the next morning.
  She said her house was watched, and it was possible that some clew to me
  might be obtained. I refused to take her advice. She pleaded with an
  earnest tenderness, that ought to have moved me; but I was in a bitter,
  disheartened mood. I was weary of flying from pillar to post. I had been
  chased during half my life, and it seemed as if the chase was never to
  end. There I sat, in that great city, guiltless of crime, yet not daring
  to worship God in any of the churches. I heard the bells ringing for
  afternoon service, and, with contemptuous sarcasm, I said, “Will the
  preachers take for their text, ‘Proclaim liberty to the captive, and the
  opening of prison doors to them that are bound’? or will they preach from
  the text, ‘Do unto others as ye would they should do unto you’?” Oppressed
  Poles and Hungarians could find a safe refuge in that city; John Mitchell
  was free to proclaim in the City Hall his desire for “a plantation well
  stocked with slaves;” but there I sat, an oppressed American, not daring
  to show my face. God forgive the black and bitter thoughts I indulged on
  that Sabbath day! The Scripture says, “Oppression makes even a wise man
  mad;” and I was not wise.
<br />
  I had been told that Mr. Dodge said his wife had never signed away her
  right to my children, and if he could not get me, he would take them. This
  it was, more than any thing else, that roused such a tempest in my soul.
  Benjamin was with his uncle William in California, but my innocent young
  daughter had come to spend a vacation with me. I thought of what I had
  suffered in slavery at her age, and my heart was like a tiger’s when a
  hunter tries to seize her young.
<br />
  Dear Mrs. Bruce! I seem to see the expression of her face, as she turned
  away discouraged by my obstinate mood. Finding her expostulations
  unavailing, she sent Ellen to entreat me. When ten o’clock in the evening
  arrived and Ellen had not returned, this watchful and unwearied friend
  became anxious. She came to us in a carriage, bringing a well-filled trunk
  for my journey—trusting that by this time I would listen to reason.
  I yielded to her, as I ought to have done before.
<br />
  The next day, baby and I set out in a heavy snow storm, bound for New
  England again. I received letters from the City of Iniquity, addressed to
  me under an assumed name. In a few days one came from Mrs. Bruce,
  informing me that my new master was still searching for me, and that she
  intended to put an end to this persecution by buying my freedom. I felt
  grateful for the kindness that prompted this offer, but the idea was not
  so pleasant to me as might have been expected. The more my mind had become
  enlightened, the more difficult it was for me to consider myself an
  article of property; and to pay money to those who had so grievously
  oppressed me seemed like taking from my sufferings the glory of triumph. I
  wrote to Mrs. Bruce, thanking her, but saying that being sold from one
  owner to another seemed too much like slavery; that such a great
  obligation could not be easily cancelled; and that I preferred to go to my
  brother in California.
<br />
  Without my knowledge, Mrs. Bruce employed a gentleman in New York to enter
  into negotiations with Mr. Dodge. He proposed to pay three hundred dollars
  down, if Mr. Dodge would sell me, and enter into obligations to relinquish
  all claim to me or my children forever after. He who called himself my
  master said he scorned so small an offer for such a valuable servant. The
  gentleman replied, “You can do as you choose, sir. If you reject this
  offer you will never get any thing; for the woman has friends who will
  convey her and her children out of the country.”
<br />
  Mr. Dodge concluded that “half a loaf was better than no bread,” and he
  agreed to the proffered terms. By the next mail I received this brief
  letter from Mrs. Bruce: “I am rejoiced to tell you that the money for your
  freedom has been paid to Mr. Dodge. Come home to-morrow. I long to see you
  and my sweet babe.”
<br />
  My brain reeled as I read these lines. A gentleman near me said, “It’s
  true; I have seen the bill of sale.” “The bill of sale!” Those words
  struck me like a blow. So I was  at last! A human being 
  in the free city of New York! The bill of sale is on record, and future
  generations will learn from it that women were articles of traffic in New
  York, late in the nineteenth century of the Christian religion. It may
  hereafter prove a useful document to antiquaries, who are seeking to
  measure the progress of civilization in the United States. I well know the
  value of that bit of paper; but much as I love freedom, I do not like to
  look upon it. I am deeply grateful to the generous friend who procured it,
  but I despise the miscreant who demanded payment for what never rightfully
  belonged to him or his.
<br />
  I had objected to having my freedom bought, yet I must confess that when
  it was done I felt as if a heavy load had been lifted from my weary
  shoulders. When I rode home in the cars I was no longer afraid to unveil
  my face and look at people as they passed. I should have been glad to have
  met Daniel Dodge himself; to have had him seen me and known me, that he
  might have mourned over the untoward circumstances which compelled him to
  sell me for three hundred dollars.
<br />
  When I reached home, the arms of my benefactress were thrown round me, and
  our tears mingled. As soon as she could speak, she said, “O Linda, I’m 
  glad it’s all over! You wrote to me as if you thought you were going to be
  transferred from one owner to another. But I did not buy you for your
  services. I should have done just the same, if you had been going to sail
  for California to-morrow. I should, at least, have the satisfaction of
  knowing that you left me a free woman.”
<br />
  My heart was exceedingly full. I remembered how my poor father had tried
  to buy me, when I was a small child, and how he had been disappointed. I
  hoped his spirit was rejoicing over me now. I remembered how my good old
  grandmother had laid up her earnings to purchase me in later years, and
  how often her plans had been frustrated. How that faithful, loving old
  heart would leap for joy, if she could look on me and my children now that
  we were free! My relatives had been foiled in all their efforts, but God
  had raised me up a friend among strangers, who had bestowed on me the
  precious, long-desired boon. Friend! It is a common word, often lightly
  used. Like other good and beautiful things, it may be tarnished by
  careless handling; but when I speak of Mrs. Bruce as my friend, the word
  is sacred.
<br />
  My grandmother lived to rejoice in my freedom; but not long after, a
  letter came with a black seal. She had gone “where the wicked cease from
  troubling, and the weary are at rest.”
<br />
  Time passed on, and a paper came to me from the south, containing an
  obituary notice of my uncle Phillip. It was the only case I ever knew of
  such an honor conferred upon a colored person. It was written by one of
  his friends, and contained these words: “Now that death has laid him low,
  they call him a good man and a useful citizen; but what are eulogies to
  the black man, when the world has faded from his vision? It does not
  require man’s praise to obtain rest in God’s kingdom.” So they called a
  colored man a ! Strange words to be uttered in that region!
<br />
  Reader, my story ends with freedom; not in the usual way, with marriage. I
  and my children are now free! We are as free from the power of
  slaveholders as are the white people of the north; and though that,
  according to my ideas, is not saying a great deal, it is a vast
  improvement in  condition. The dream of my life is not yet
  realized. I do not sit with my children in a home of my own, I still long
  for a hearthstone of my own, however humble. I wish it for my children’s
  sake far more than for my own. But God so orders circumstances as to keep
  me with my friend Mrs. Bruce. Love, duty, gratitude, also bind me to her
  side. It is a privilege to serve her who pities my oppressed people, and
  who has bestowed the inestimable boon of freedom on me and my children.
<br />
  It has been painful to me, in many ways, to recall the dreary years I
  passed in bondage. I would gladly forget them if I could. Yet the
  retrospection is not altogether without solace; for with those gloomy
  recollections come tender memories of my good old grandmother, like light,
  fleecy clouds floating over a dark and troubled sea.
<br />

  [ ]()

  APPENDIX.


  The following statement is from Amy Post, a member of the Society of
  Friends in the State of New York, well known and highly respected by
  friends of the poor and the oppressed. As has been already stated, in the
  preceding pages, the author of this volume spent some time under her
  hospitable roof.


  The following testimonial is from a man who is now a highly respectable
  colored citizen of Boston.

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