Envy Is the Enemy of Happiness

嫉妒是幸福的敌人

I don’t think life is that hard. I think we make it hard. One of the things I’m trying to get rid of is the word “should.” Whenever the word “should” creeps up in your mind, it’s guilt or social programming. Doing something because you “should” basically means you don’t actually want to do it. It’s just making you miserable, so I’m trying to eliminate as many “shoulds” from my life as possible. [1]

我不认为生活有那么难。我想我们让事情变得困难了。我想要摆脱的一件事是“应该”这个词。每当“应该”这个词悄悄出现在你的脑海中时，它就是内疚或社交程序。因为你“应该”而做某事基本上意味着你实际上并不想去做。这只会让你很痛苦，所以我试图从我的生活中尽可能多地剔除“应该”。

The enemy of peace of mind is expectations drilled into you by society and other people.

心灵安宁的敌人是社会和其他人灌输给你的期望。

Socially, we’re told, “Go work out. Go look good.” That’s a multi -player competitive game. Other people can see if I’m doing a good job or not. We’re told, “Go make money. Go buy a big house.” Again, external multiplayer competitive game. Training yourself to be happy is completely internal. There is no external progress, no external validation. You’re competing against yourself—it is a single -player game.

在社交方面，我们被告知，“去锻炼吧。好好打扮一下吧。“这是一个多人竞争的游戏。其他人可以看到我做得好不好。我们被告知，“去赚钱吧。去买一栋大房子吧。“再说一遍，外部多人竞技游戏。训练自己快乐完全是内在的。没有外部进展，没有外部验证。你在和你自己竞争—这是一场单人游戏。

We’re like bees or ants. We are such social creatures, we’re externally programmed and driven. We don’t know how to play and win these single -player games anymore. We compete purely in multiplayer games.

我们就像蜜蜂或蚂蚁。我们是这样的社会性生物，我们被外部编程和驱使。我们再也不知道如何玩和赢得这些单人游戏了。我们纯粹是在多人游戏中竞争。

The reality is life is a single -player game. You’re born alone. You’re going to die alone. All of your interpretations are alone. All your memories are alone. You’re gone in three generations, and nobody cares. Before you showed up, nobody cared. It’s all single player.

现实是，生活是一场单人游戏。你生来就是孤身一人。你会孤身一人死去。你所有的解释都是单独的。你所有的记忆都是孤独的。再过三代你就走了，没人在乎。在你出现之前，没人在乎。都是单人游戏。

Perhaps one reason why yoga and meditation are hard to sustain is they have no extrinsic value. Purely single -player games.

也许瑜伽和冥想难以持续的原因之一是它们没有外在价值。纯粹的单人游戏。

Buffett has a great example when he asks if you want to be the world’s best lover and known as the worst, or the world’s worst lover and known as the best? [paraphrased] in reference to an inner or external scorecard.

巴菲特有一个很好的例子，当他问你是想成为世界上最好的情人，被称为最糟糕的，还是世界上最糟糕的情人，被称为最好的？[释义]指的是内部或外部记分卡。

Exactly right. All the real scorecards are internal.

完全正确。所有真正的记分卡都是内部的。

Jealousy was a very hard emotion for me to overcome. When I was young, I had a lot of jealousy. By and by, I learned to get rid of it. It still crops up every now and then. It’s such a poisonous emotion because, at the end of the day, you’re no better off with jealousy. You’re unhappier, and the person you’re jealous of is still successful or good -looking or whatever they are.

嫉妒对我来说是一种很难克服的情绪。当我年轻的时候，我有很多嫉妒。渐渐地，我学会了摆脱它。它仍然时不时地冒出来。这是一种非常有害的情绪，因为在一天结束的时候，嫉妒并不会让你过得更好。你变得更不快乐了，而你嫉妒的那个人仍然是成功的或者英俊的，或者不管他们是什么。

One day, I realized with all these people I was jealous of, I couldn’t just choose little aspects of their life. I couldn’t say I want his body, I want her money, I want his personality. You have to be that person. Do you want to actually be that person with all of their reactions, their desires, their family, their happiness level, their outlook on life, their self -image ? If you’re not willing to do a wholesale, 24/7, 100 percent swap with who that person is, then there is no point in being jealous.

有一天，我意识到，和所有这些我嫉妒的人在一起，我不能只选择他们生活中的一些小方面。我不能说我想要他的身体，我想要她的钱，我想要他的个性。你必须成为那个人。你真的想成为那个拥有他们所有的反应，他们的欲望，他们的家庭，他们的幸福水平，他们的人生观，他们的自我形象的人吗？如果你不愿意全天候、百分之百地与那个人交换，那么嫉妒是没有意义的。

Once I came to that realization, jealousy faded away because I don’t want to be anybody else. I’m perfectly happy being me. By the way, even that is under my control. To be happy being me. It’s just there are no social rewards for it. [4] 一旦我意识到这一点，嫉妒就消失了，因为我不想成为其他任何人。我非常乐意做我自己。顺便说一下，就连那也在我的控制之下。快乐地做我自己。这只是因为它没有社会回报。“[4] H