Happiness Is Learned

幸福是后天学来的

Ten years ago, if you would have asked me how happy I was, I would have dismissed the question. I didn’t want to talk about it.

十年前，如果你问我有多幸福，我会不屑一顾。我不想谈这件事。

On a scale of 1–10, I would have said 2/10 or 3/10. Maybe 4/10 on my best days. But I did not value being happy.

如果从1到10分，我会说2/10或3/10。在我最好的时候可能是十分之四。但我并不看重快乐。

Today, I am a 9/10. And yes, having money helps, but it’s actually a very small piece of it. Most of it comes from learning over the years my own happiness is the most important thing to me, and I’ve cultivated it with a lot of techniques. [10] 今天，我是9/10。是的，有钱是有帮助的，但实际上这只是其中很小的一部分。这些年来我学到了很多，我自己的快乐对我来说是最重要的，我用很多技巧培养了它。

Maybe happiness is not something you inherit or even choose, but a highly personal skill that can be learned, like fitness or nutrition.

也许幸福不是你继承的，甚至不是你选择的，而是一种高度个人化的技能，可以学习，比如健身或营养。

Happiness is a very evolving thing, I think, like all the great questions. When you’re a little kid, you go to your mom and ask, “What happens when we die? Is there a Santa Claus? Is there a God? Should I be happy? Who should I marry?” Those kinds of things. There are no glib answers because no answers apply to everybody. These kinds of questions ultimately do have answers, but they have personal answers.

我认为，幸福是一个非常进化的东西，就像所有伟大的问题一样。当你还是个小孩子的时候，你去找你妈妈问，“我们死后会发生什么？”有圣诞老人吗？真的有上帝吗？我应该高兴吗？我该嫁给谁呢？“诸如此类的事情。没有圆滑的答案，因为没有答案适用于每个人。这类问题最终确实有答案，但它们有个人的答案。

The answer that works for me is going to be nonsense to you, and vice versa. Whatever happiness means to me, it means something different to you. I think it’s very important to explore what these definitions are.

对我有效的答案对你来说是无稽之谈，反之亦然。无论幸福对我意味着什么，它对你都意味着不同的东西。我认为探索这些定义是非常重要的。

For some people I know, it’s a flow state. For some people, it’s satisfaction. For some people, it’s a feeling of contentment. My definition keeps evolving. The answer I would have given you a year ago will be different than what I tell you now.

对我认识的一些人来说，这是一种流动状态。对一些人来说，这是一种满足。对一些人来说，这是一种满足感。我的定义在不断演变。一年前我会给你的答案将与我现在告诉你的不同。

Today, I believe happiness is really a default state. Happiness is there when you remove the sense of something missing in your life.

今天，我相信幸福真的是一种默认状态。当你去除生活中缺失的东西时，幸福就在那里。

We are highly judgmental survival -and -replication machines. We constantly walk around thinking, “I need this,” or “I need that,” trapped in the web of desires. Happiness is the state when nothing is missing. When nothing is missing, your mind shuts down and stops running into the past or future to regret something or to plan something.

我们是具有高度判断力的生存和复制机器。我们不停地走来走去，想着“我需要这个”或“我需要那个”，困在欲望的网中。幸福是什么都不缺的状态。当什么都没有丢失的时候，你的大脑就会关闭，不再追忆过去或未来，后悔或计划一些事情。

In that absence, for a moment, you have internal silence. When you have internal silence, then you are content, and you are happy. Feel free to disagree. Again, it’s different for everybody.

在这种缺席的情况下，有一段时间，你内心保持沉默。当你内心沉默时，你就满足了，你就快乐了。你可以不同意我的观点。同样，这对每个人来说都是不同的。

People mistakenly believe happiness is just about positive thoughts and positive actions. The more I’ve read, the more I’ve learned, and the more I’ve experienced (because I verify this for myself), every positive thought essentially holds within it a negative thought. It is a contrast to something negative. The Tao Te Ching says this more articulately than I ever could, but it’s all duality and polarity. If I say I’m happy, that means I was sad at some point. If I say he’s attractive, then somebody else is unattractive. Every positive thought even has a seed of a negative thought within it and vice versa, which is why a lot of greatness in life comes out of suffering. You have to view the negative before you can aspire to and appreciate the positive.

人们错误地认为幸福就是积极的想法和积极的行动。我读得越多，学到的就越多，经历的也越多(因为我自己证实了这一点)，每一个积极的想法基本上都包含着消极的想法。这与一些负面的东西形成了鲜明的对比。“道德经”比我说得更清楚，但这都是二元性和极性。如果我说我很开心，那就意味着我在某个时候很难过。如果我说他有吸引力，那么其他人就没有吸引力了。每一个积极的思想甚至都包含着消极思想的种子，反之亦然，这就是为什么生活中的许多伟大都是从苦难中产生的。你必须先看到消极的一面，然后才能向往和欣赏积极的一面。

To me, happiness is not about positive thoughts. It’s not about negative thoughts. It’s about the absence of desire, especially the absence of desire for external things. The fewer desires I can have, the more I can accept the current state of things, the less my mind is moving, because the mind really exists in motion toward the future or the past. The more present I am, the happier and more content I will be. If I latch onto a feeling, if I say, “Oh, I’m happy now,” and I want to stay happy, then I’m going to drop out of that happiness. Now, suddenly, the mind is moving. It’s trying to attach to something. It’s trying to create a permanent situation out of a temporary situation.

对我来说，幸福不是积极的想法。这不是关于消极的想法。它是关于欲望的缺失，特别是对外部事物的欲望的缺失。我的欲望越少，我就越能接受现在的状态，我的心就越不动，因为心确实存在于朝向未来或过去的运动中。我现在过得越多，我就会越快乐、越满足。如果我抓住一种感觉，如果我说，“哦，我现在很快乐，”我想保持快乐，那么我就会放弃那种快乐。现在，突然之间，思想在移动。它试图附着在什么东西上。它试图在暂时的情况下创造一个永久性的情况。

Happiness to me is mainly not suffering, not desiring, not thinking too much about the future or the past, really embracing the present moment and the reality of what is, and the way it is. [4] 对我来说，幸福主要是不受苦，不欲望，不想太多未来或过去，真正拥抱现在的时刻和现实，以及它现在的样子。

If you ever want to have peace in your life, you have to move beyond good and evil.

如果你想在你的生活中拥有和平，你必须超越善恶。

Nature has no concept of happiness or unhappiness. Nature follows unbroken mathematical laws and a chain of cause and effect from the Big Bang to now. Everything is perfect exactly the way it is. It is only in our particular minds we are unhappy or not happy, and things are perfect or imperfect because of what we desire. [4] 大自然没有幸福或不幸的概念。从宇宙大爆炸到现在，自然界遵循着一成不变的数学定律和一连串的因果关系。一切都是完美的，就像它原来的样子。只有在我们特定的头脑中，我们才会不快乐或不快乐，事情是完美的还是不完美的，因为我们想要什么。

The world just reflects your own feelings back at you. Reality is neutral. Reality has no judgments. To a tree, there is no concept of right or wrong, good or bad. You’re born, you have a whole set of sensory experiences and stimulations (lights, colors, and sounds), and then you die. How you choose to interpret them is up to you—you have that choice.

这个世界只是把你自己的感觉反映在你身上。现实是中立的。现实是没有评判的。对于一棵树来说，没有对与错、好与坏的概念。你出生了，你有一整套的感官体验和刺激(光、颜色和声音)，然后你就死了。你如何选择解释它们是你自己的事—你有这个选择。

This is what I mean when I say happiness is a choice. If you believe it’s a choice, you can start working on it. [77] 这就是我说幸福是一种选择的意思。如果你认为这是一个选择，你就可以开始努力了。

There are no external forces affecting your emotions—as much as it may feel that way.

没有任何外部力量会影响你的情绪—尽管它可能感觉如此。

I’ve also come to believe in the complete and utter insignificance of the self, and I think that helps a lot. For example, if you thought you were the most important thing in the Universe, then you would have to bend the entire Universe to your will. If you’re the most important thing in the Universe, then how could it not conform to your desires. If it doesn’t conform to your desires, something is wrong.

我也开始相信自我是完全无关紧要的，我认为这很有帮助。例如，如果你认为你是宇宙中最重要的东西，那么你将不得不让整个宇宙屈从于你的意志。如果你是宇宙中最重要的东西，那么它怎么会不符合你的愿望呢？如果它不符合你的愿望，那就是出了问题。

However, if you view yourself as a bacteria or an amoeba—or if you view all of your works as writing on water or building castles in the sand, then you have no expectation for how life should “actually” be. Life is just the way it is. When you accept that, you have no cause to be happy or unhappy. Those things almost don’t apply.

然而，如果你认为自己是细菌或变形虫，或者你认为你所有的作品都是在水上写字或在沙子上建造城堡，那么你就不会对生活应该是怎样的“实际”抱有任何期望。生活就是这样。当你接受这一点时，你就没有理由快乐或不快乐。这些东西几乎不适用。

Happiness is what’s there when you remove the sense that something is missing in your life.

幸福就是当你去除生活中缺失的感觉时所拥有的东西。

What you’re left with in that neutral state is not neutrality. I think people believe neutrality would be a very bland existence. No, this is the existence little children live. If you look at little children, on balance, they’re generally pretty happy because they are really immersed in the environment and the moment, without any thought of how it should be given their personal preferences and desires. I think the neutral state is actually a perfection state. One can be very happy as long as one isn’t too caught up in their own head. [4] 在这种中立状态下，你剩下的不是中立。我认为人们认为中立会是一种非常平淡的生活。不，这是小孩子的生活方式。如果你看看小孩子，总的来说，他们通常都很快乐，因为他们真的沉浸在环境和时刻中，没有考虑应该如何给予他们个人的偏好和愿望。我认为中性状态实际上是一种完美状态。只要一个人不太沉迷于自己的头脑，他就可以非常快乐。

Our lives are a blink of a firefly in the night. You’re just barely here. You have to make the most of every minute, which doesn’t mean you chase some stupid desire for your entire life. What it means is every second you have on this planet is very precious, and it’s your responsibility to make sure you’re happy and interpreting everything in the best possible way. [9] 我们的生活就像一只夜里的萤火虫在眨眼。你只是勉强站在这里。你必须充分利用每一分钟，这并不意味着你一生都在追逐一些愚蠢的愿望。这意味着你在这个星球上的每一秒都是非常宝贵的，你有责任确保你是快乐的，并以尽可能好的方式解释一切。

We think of ourselves as fixed and the world as malleable, but it’s really we who are malleable and the world is largely fixed.

我们认为自己是固定的，世界是可塑的，但实际上是我们是可塑的，世界在很大程度上是固定的。

Can practicing meditation help you accept reality? 练习冥想能帮助你接受现实吗？ Yeah. But it’s amazing how little it helps. [laughs] You can be a long -time meditator, but if someone says the wrong thing in the wrong way, you go back to your ego -driven self. It’s almost like you’re lifting one -pound weights, but then somebody drops a huge barbell with a stack of plates on your head.

嗯。但令人惊讶的是，它的帮助如此之小。[笑]你可以成为一名长期的冥想者，但如果有人用错误的方式说错了话，你就会回到自我驱使的自我。这几乎就像你在举起一磅的重量，但然后有人掉下一个巨大的杠铃，上面有一堆盘子放在你的头上。

It’s absolutely better than doing nothing. But when the actual moment of mental or emotional suffering arrives, it’s still never easy. [8] Real happiness only comes as a side -effect of peace. Most of it is going to come from acceptance, not from changing your external environment. [8] 这绝对比什么都不做要好。但是，当精神或情感痛苦的真实时刻到来时，这仍然不是一件容易的事。真正的幸福只是和平带来的副作用。其中大部分将来自接受，而不是来自改变你的外部环境。

A rational person can find peace by cultivating indifference to things outside of their control.

一个理性的人可以通过培养对他们无法控制的事物的冷漠来找到平静。

I have lowered my identity.

我降低了我的身份。

I have lowered the chattering of my mind.

我已经降低了脑海中的喋喋不休。

I don’t care about things that don’t really matter.

我不关心那些无关紧要的事情。

I don’t get involved in politics.

我不参与政治。

I don’t hang around unhappy people.

我不会和不开心的人混在一起。

I really value my time on this earth.

我真的很珍惜我在这个世界上的时间。

I read philosophy.

我读哲学。

I meditate.

我在冥想。

I hang around with happy people.

我和快乐的人在一起。

And it works.

它起作用了。

You can very slowly but steadily and methodically improve your happiness baseline, just like you can improve your fitness. [10]

你可以非常缓慢地、稳定地、有条不紊地提高你的幸福基线，就像你可以提高你的体能一样。