New concept - 《编程语言》

1

Last week I went to the theatre. I had a
very good seat. The play was very inter-
esting. I did not enjoy it. A young man
and a young woman were sitting behind
me. They were talking loudly. I got very
angry. I could not hear the actors. I
turned round. I looked at the man and the
woman angrily. They did not pay any
attention. In the end, I could not bear it.
I turned round again. ‘I can’t hear a
word!’ I said angrily.
‘ It’s none of your business,’ the young
man said rudely. ‘This is a private con-
versation!’.

2

It was Sunday. I never get up early on
Sundays. I sometimes stay in bed until
lunch time. Last Sunday I got up very
late. I looked out of the window. It was
dark outside. ‘What a day!’ I thought.
‘It’s raining again.’ Just then, the tele-
phone rang. It was my aunt Lucy.’ I’ve
just arrived by train,’ she said. ‘I’m
coming to see you.’
‘But I’m still having breakfast,’ I said.
‘What are you doing ?’ she asked.
‘ I’m having breakfast,’ I repeated.
‘Dear me,’ she said. ‘Do you always
get up so late ? It’s one o’clock!’’

3

Postcards always spoil my holidays. Last
summer, I went to Italy. I visited
museums and sat in public gardens. A
friendly waiter taught me a few words of
Italian. ‘Then he lent me a book. I read
is few lines, but I did not understand a
word. Every day I thought about post-
cards. My holidays passed quickly, but I
did not send any cards to my friends. On
the last day I made a big decision. I got
up early and bought thirty-seven cards
I spent the whole day in my room, but I
did not write a single card !

4

I have just received a letter from my
brother, Tim. He is in Australia.He has
been there for six months. Tim is an
engineer. He is working for a big firm
and he has already visited a great number
of different places in Australia. He has
just bought an Australian car and has
gone to Alice Springs, a small town in the
centre of Australia. He will soon visit
Darwin. From there, he will fly to Perth.
My brother has never been abroad be-
fore, so he is finding this trip very excit-
ing.

5

Mr James Scott has a garage in Silbury
and now he has just bought another
garage in Pinhurst. Pinhurst is only five
miles from Silbury, but Mr Scott cannot
get a telephone for his new garage, so he
has just bought twelve pigeons. Yester-
day, a pigeon carried the first message
from Pinhurst to Silbury. The bird
covered the distance in three minutes.
Up to now, Mr Scott has sent a great
many requests for spare parts and other
urgent messages from one garage to the
other. In this way, he has begun his own
private telephone service.

6

I have just moved to a house in Bridge
Street. Yesterday a beggar knocked at my
door. He asked me for a meal and a glass
of beer. In return for this, the beggar
stood on his head and sang songs. I gave
him a meal. He ate the food and drank
the beer. Then he put a piece of cheese
in his pocket and went away. Later a
neighbour told me about him. Everybody
knows him. His name is Percy Buttons.
He calls at every house in the street once
a month and always asks for a meal and a
glass of beer.

7

The plane was late and detectives were
waiting at the airport all morning. They
were expecting a valuable parcel of dia-
mond from South Africa. A few hours
earlier, someone had told the police that
thieves would try to steal the diamonds.
When the plane arrived,some of the de-
tectives were waiting inside the main
building while others were waiting on the
airfield. Two men took the parcel off
the plane and carried it into the Customs
House. While two detectives were keep-
ing guard at the door, two others opened
the parcel. To their surprise, the precious
parcel was full of stones and sand!

8

Joe Sanders has the most beautiful garden
in our town. Nearly everybody enters for
‘The Nicest Garden Competition’ each
year, but Joe wins every time. Bill Frith’s
garden is larger than Joe’s. Bill works
harder than Joe and grows more flowers
and vegetables, but Joe’s garden is more
interesting. He has made neat paths and
has built a wooden bridge over a pool. I
like gardens too, but I do not like hard
work. Every year I enter for the garden
competition too, and I always win a little
prize for the worst garden in the town!

9

On Wednesday evening, we went to the
Town Hall. It was the last day of the year
and a large crowd of people had gathered
under the Town Hall clock.It would
strike twelve in twenty minutes’ time.
Fifteen minutes passed and then, at five
to twelve, the clock stopped. The big
minute hand did not move. We waited
and waited, but nothing happened. Sud-
denly someone shouted, ‘It’s two minutes
past twelve! The clock has stopped!’ I
looked at my watch. It was true. The big
clock refused to welcome the New Year.
At that moment everybody began to
laugh and sing.

10

We have an old musical instrument. It is
called a clavichord. It was made in Ger-
many in 1681. Our clavichord is kept in
the living-room. It has belong to our
family for a long time. The instrument
was bought by my grandfather many
years ago. Recently it was damaged by a
visitor. She tried to play jazz on it! She
struck the keys too hard and two of the
strings were broken. My father was
shocked. Now we are not allowed to touch
it. It is being repaired by a friend of my
father’s.

I was having dinner at a restaurant when
Harry Steele came in. Harry worked in a
lawyer’s office years ago, but he is now
working at a bank. He gets a good salary,
but he always borrows money from his
friends and never pays it back. Harry saw
me and came and sat at the same table.
He has never borrowed money from me.
While he was eating, I asked him to lend
me &2. To my surprise, he gave me the
money immediately. ‘I have never bor-
towed any money from you,’ Harry said,
‘so now you can pay for my dinner!’

Our ncighbour, Captain Charles Alison,
will sail from Portsmouth tomorrow. We
shall meet him at the harbour early in the
morning. He will be in his small boat,
Topsail.Tapsail is a famous little boat. It
has sailed across the Atlantic many times.
Captain Alison will set out at eight o’clock
so we shall have plenty of time. We shall
see his boat and then we shall say good-
bye to him. He will be away for two
months. We are very proud of him. He will
take part in an important race across the
Atlantic.

The Greenwood Boys are a group of
popular singers. At present, they are visit-
ing all parts of the country. They will be
arriving here tomorrow. They will be
coming by train and most of the young
people in the town will be meeting them
at the station. Tomorrow evening they
will be singing at the Workers’ Club. The
Greenwood Boys will be staying for five
days. During this time, they will give five
performances. As usual,the police will
have a difficult time.They will be trying
to keep order. It is always the same on
these occasions.

I had an amusing experience last year.
After I had left a small village in the south
of France, I drove on to the next town.
On the way, a young man waved to me. I
stopped and he asked me for a lift. As
soon as he had got into the car, I said
good morning to him in French and he
replied in the same language. Apart from
a few words, I do not know any French
at all. Neither of us spoke during the
journey. I had nearly reached the town,
when the young man suddenly said, very
slowly, ‘Do you speak English?’ As I
soon learnt, he was English himself!

The secretary told me that Mr Harms-
worth would see me. I felt very nervous
when. I went into his office. He did not
look up from his desk when I entered.
After I had sat down, he said that busi-
ness was very bad. He told me that the
firm could not afford to pay such large
salaries. Twenty people had already left.
I knew that my turn had come.
‘Mr Harmsworth,’ I said in a weak
voice.
‘Don’t interrupt,’ he Said.
Then he smiled and told me I would
receive an extra &100 a year!

If you park your car in the wrong place, a
traffic policeman will soon find it. You
will be very lucky if he lets you go with-
out a ticket. However, this does not al-
ways happen. Traffic police are sometimes
very polite. During a holiday in Sweden,
I found this note on my car:’ Sir, we wel-
come you to our city. This is a “No
Parking” area. You will enjoy your stay
here if you pay attention to our street
signs. This note is only a reminder.’ If
you receive a request like this, you can-
not fail to obey it!

My aunt Jennifer is an actress. She must
be at least thirty-five years old. In spite
of this, she often appears on the stage as
a young girl. Jennifer will have to take
part in a new play soon. This time, she
will be a girl of seventeen. In the play, she
must appear in a bright red dress and
long black stockings. Last year in another
play,she had to wear short socks and a
bright,orange-coloured dress. If anyone
ever asked her how old she is, she always
answers,’My dear,it must be terrible to
be grown up!’

After I had had lunch at a village inn, I
looked for my bag. I had left it on a chair
beside the door and now it wasn’t there !
As I was looking for it, the inn-keeper
came in.
‘Did you have a good meal ?’ he asked.
‘Yes, thank you,’ I answered, ‘but I
can’t pay the bill. I haven’t got my bag.’
The inn-keeper smiled and imme-
diately went out. In a few minutes he
returned with my bag and gave it back to
me.
‘I’m very sorry,’ he said ‘ My dog had
taken it into the garden. He often does
this.’

‘The play may begin at any moment,’
I said.
‘It may have begun already,’ Susan
answered.
‘I hurried to the ticket-office. ‘May I
have two tickets please ?’ I asked.
‘I’m sorry, we’ve sold out,’ the girl
said.
‘What a pity!’ Susan exclaimed.
Just then, a man hurried to the ticket-
office.
‘Can I return these two tickets?’ he
asked.
‘Certainly,’ the girl said.
‘Could I have those two tickets please ?’ I asked.
‘Certainly,’the girl said, ‘but they are for next Wednesday’s performance.
‘I might as well have them,’ I said sadly.

Fishing is my favourite sport. I often fish
for hours without catching anything. But
this does not worry me. Some fishermen
are unlucky. Instead of catching fish, they
catch old boots and rubbish. I am even
less lucky. I never catch anything—not
even old boots. After having spent whole
mornings on the river, I always go home
with an empty bag. ‘You must give up
fishing!’ my friends say.’ It’s a waste of
time.’ But they don’t realize one impor-
tant thing. I’m not really interested in
fishing. I am only interested in sitting in
a boat and doing nothing at all !

Aeroplanes are slowly driving me mad. I
live near an airport and passing planes
can be heard night and day. The airport
was built during the war, but for some
reason it could not be used then. Last
year, however, it came into use. Over a
hundred people must have been driven
away from their homes by the noise. I am
one of the few people left. Sometimes I
think this house will be knocked down by
a passing plane. I have been offered a
large sum of money to go away, but I am
determined to stay here. Everybody says
I must be mad and they are probably
right.

My daughter, Jane, never dreamed of
receiving a letter from a girl of her own
age in Holland. Last year, we were travel-
ling across the Channel and Jane put a
piece of paper with her name and address
on it into a bottle. She threw the bottle
into the sea. She never thought of it again,
but ten months later, she received a letter
from a girl in Holland. Both girls write to
each other regularly now. However, they
have decided to use the post-office. Letters
will cost a litt1e more, but they will cer-
tainly travel faster.

I had a letter from my sister yesterday.
She lives in Nigeria. In her letter, she
said that she would come to England next
year. If she comes, she will get a surprise.
We are now living in a beautiful new house
in the country. Work on it had begun be-
fore my sister left. The house was com-
pleted five months ago. In my letter, I
told her that she could stay with us. The
house has many large rooms and there is
a lovely garden. It is a very modern house,
so it looks strange to some people. It
must be the only modern house in the
district.

I entered the hotel manager’s office and
sat down. I had just lost &50 and I felt
very upset.’ I left the money in my room,’
I said, ‘and it’s not there now.’ The
manager was sympathetic, but he could
do nothing. ‘Everyone’s losing money
these days,’ he said. He started to com-
plain about this wicked world but was
interrupted by a knock at the door. A girl
came in and put an envelope on his desk.
It contained &5o. ‘I found this outside
this gentleman’s room’ she said. ‘Well,’
I said to the manager, ‘there is still some
honesty in this world !’

I arrived in London at last. The railway
station was big, black and dark. I did not
know the way to my hotel, so I asked a
porter. I not only spoke English very
carefully, but very clearly as well. The
porter, however, could not understand
me; I repeated my question several times
and at last he understood. He answered
me, but he spoke neither slowly nor
clearly. ‘I am a foreigner,’ I said. Then
he spoke slowly, but I could not under-
stand him. My teacher never spoke Eng-
lish like that! The porter and I looked at
each other and smiled. Then he said
something and I understood it. ‘You’ll
soon learn English!’ he said. I wonder. In England, each man speaks a different
language. The English understand each other, but I don’t understand them ! Do
they speak English ?

I am an art student and I paint a lot of
pictures. Many people pretend that they
understand modern art. They always tell
you what a picture is ‘about’. Of course,
many pictures arc not ‘about’ anything.
They are just pretty patterns. We like
them in the same way that we like pretty
curtain material. I think that young child-
ren often appreciate modern pictures
better than anyone else. They notice
more. My sister is only seven, but she
always tells me whether my pictures are
good or not. She came into my room
yesterday.
‘ What are you doing ?’ she asked.
‘ I’m hanging this picture on the wall,’
I answered. ‘It’s a new one. Do you like it ?’
She looked at it critically for a moment.’ It’s all right,’ she said, ‘but isn’t it
upside-down ?’
I looked at it again. She was right! It was!

Late in the afternoon, the boys put up
their tent in the middle of a field. As soon
as this was done, they cooked a meal over
an open fire. They were all hungry and
the food smelt good. After a wonderful
meal, they told stories and sang songs by
the camp fire. But some time later it be-
gan to rain. The boys felt tired so they
pet out the fire and crept into their tent.
Their sleeping-bags were warm and com-
fortable, so they all slept soundly. In the
middle of the night, two boys woke up
and began shouting. The tent was full of
water! They all leapt out of their sleep-
ing-bags and hurried outside. It was rain-
ing heavily and they found that a stream
had formed in the field. The stream wound its way across the field and then
flowed right under their tent!

Jasper White is one of those rare people
who believes in ancient myths. He has
just bought a new house in the city,
but ever since he moved in, he has had
trouble with motorists. when he returns
home at night, he always finds that some-
one has parked a car outside his gate.
Because of this, he has not been able to
get his own car into his garage even once.
Jasper has put up’ No Parking’ signs out-
side his gate, but these have not had any
effect. Now he has put an ugly stone head
over the gate. It is one of the ugliest faces
I have ever seen. I asked him what it was
and he told me that it was Medusa, the
Gorgon. Jasper hopes that she will turn
motorists to stone. But none of them has been turned to stone yet!

Captain Ben Fawcett has bought an un-
usual taxi and has begun a new service.
The ‘taxi’ is a small Swiss aeroplane
called a ‘Pilatus Porter’. This wonderful
plane can carry seven passengers. The
most surprising thing about it, however,
is that it can land anywhere: on snow,
water, or even on a ploughed field. Cap-
tain Fawcett’s first passenger was a doctor
who flew from Birmingham to a lonely
village in the Welsh mountains. Since
then, Captain Fawcett has flown passen-
gers to many unusual places. Once he
landed on the roof of a block of flats and
on another occasion, he landed in a de-
serted car park. Captain Fawcett has just
refused a strange request from a businessman. The man wanted to fly to Rockall,
a lonely island in the Atlantic Ocean, but Captain Fawcett did not take him
because the trip was too dangerous.

The Wayle is a small river that cuts
across the park near my home. I like
sitting by the Wayle on fine afternoons.
It was warm last Sunday, so I went and
sat on the river bank as usual. Some child-
ren were playing games on the bank and
there were some people rowing on the
river. Suddenly, one of the children
kicked a ball very hard and it went to-
wards a passing boat. Some people on the
bank called out to the man in the boat,
but he did not hear them. The ball struck
him so hard that he nearly fell into the
water. I turned to look at the children,
but there weren’t any in sight:they had
all run away! The man laughed when he
realized what had happened. He called out to the children and threw the ball
back to the bank.

Yesterday afternoon Frank Hawkins was
telling me about his expcriences as a
young man. Frank is now the head of a
very large business company, but as a
boy he used to work in a small shop. It
was his job to repair bicycles and at that
time he used to work fourteen hours a
day. He saved money for years and in
1938 he bought a small work-shop of his
own. During the war Frank used to make
spare parts for aeroplanes. At that time
he had two helpers. By the end of the
war, the small work-shop had become a
large factory which employed seven hun-
dred and twenty-eight people. Frank
smiled when he remembered his hard
early years and the long road to success. He was still smiling when the door
opened and his wife came in. She wanted him to repair their son’s bicycle!

People are not so honest as they once
were. The temptation to steal is greater
than ever before—especially in large
shops. A detective recently watched a
well-dressed woman who always went
into a large store on Monday mornings.
One Monday, there were fewer people in
the shop than usual when the woman
came in, so it was easier for the detective
to watch her. The woman first bought a
few small articles. After a little time, she
chose one of the most expensive dresses
in the shop and handed it to an assistant
who wrapped it up for her as quickly as
possible. Then the woman simply took
the parcel and walked out of the shop
without paying. When she was arrested, the detective found out that the shop-
assistant was her daughter. The girl’ gave’ her mother a free dress once a week !

Nearly a week passed before the girl was
able to explain what had happened to her.
One afternoon she set out from the coast
in a small boat and was caught in a storm.
Towards evening, the boat struck a rock
and the girl jumped into the sea. Then
she swam to the shore after spending the
whole night in the water.During that
time she covered a distance of eight miles.
Early next morning, she saw a light ahead.
She knew she was near the shore because
the light was high up on the cliffs. On
arriving at the shore, the girl struggled up
the cliff towards the light she had seen.
That was all she remembered. When she
woke up a day later, she found herself in
hospital.

Ted Robinson has been worried all the
week. Last Tuesday he received a letter
from the local police. In the letter he was
asked to call at the station. Ted wondered
why he was wanted by the police, but he
went to the station yesterday and now he
is not worried any more. At the station,
he was told by a smiling policeman that
his bicycle had been found. Five days
ago, the policeman told him, the bicycle
was pinged up in a small village four hun-
dred miles away. It is now being sent to
his home by train. Ted was most sur-
prised when he heard the news. He was
amused too, because he never expected
the bicycle to be found. It was stolen
twenty years ago when Ted was a boy of fifteen !

Rov Trenton used to drive a taxi. A short
while ago, however, he became a bus-
driver and he was not regretted it. He is
finding his new work far more exciting.
When he was driving along Catford Street
recently, he saw two thieves rush out of a
shop and run towards a waiting car. One
of them was carrying a bag full of money.
Roy acted quickly and drove the bus
straight at the thieves. The one with the
money got such a fright that he dropped
the bag. As the thieves were trying to get
away in their car, Roy drove his bus into
the back of it. While the battered car was
moving away, Roy stopped his bus and
telephoned the police. The thieves’ car
was badly damaged and easy to recognize. Shortly afterwards, the police stopped
the car and both men were arrested.

Erna Hart is going to swim across the
English Channel tomorrow. She is going
to set out from the French coast at five
o’clock in the morning. Erna is only tour-
teen years old and she hopes lo set up a
new world record. She is a strong swim-
mer and many people feel that she is sure
to succeed. Erna’s father will set out with
her in a small boat. Mr Hart has trained
his daughter for years. Tomorrow he will
be watching her anxiously as she swims
the long distance to England. Erna in-
tends to take short rests every two hours.
She will have something to drink but she
will not eat any solid food. Most of Erna’s
school friends will be waiting for her on
the English coast. Among them will be Erna’t mother, who swam the Channel
herself when she was a girl.

The Olympic Games will be held in our
country in four years’ time. As a great
many people will be visiting the country,
the government will be building new
hotels, an immense stadium, and a fine
new swimming pool. ‘They will also be
building new roads and a special railway-
line. The Games will be held just outside
the capital and the whole area will be
called ‘Olympic City’. Workers will have
completed the new roads by the end of
this year. By the end of next year, they
will have finished work on the new
stadium. The fine modern buildings have
been designed by Kurt Gunter. Every
body will be watching anxiously as the
new buildings go up. We are all very excited and are looking forward to the
Olympic Games because they have never been held before in this country.

My old friend, Harrison, had lived in the
Mediterranean for many years before. he
returned to England. He had often
dreamed of retiring in England and had
planned to settle down in the country. He
had no sooner returned than he bought a
fine house and went to live there. Almost
immediately he began to complain about
the weather, for even though it was still
summer, it rained continually and it was
often bitterly cold. After so many years of
sunshine, Harrison got a shock. He acted
as if he had never lived in England before.
In the end, it was more than he could
bear. He had hardly had time to settle
down when he sold the house and left
the country. The dream he had had for so many years ended there. Harrison had
thought of everything except the weather.

While John Gilbert was in hospital, he
asked his doctor to tell him whether his
operation had been successful, but the
doctor refused to do so. The following
day, the patient asked for a bedside tele-
phone. When he was alone, he telephoned
the hospital exchange and asked for Doc-
tor Millington. When the doctor answered
the phone, Mr Gilbert said he was in-
quiring about a certain patient, a Mr
John Gilbert. He asked if Mr Gilbert’s
operation had been successful and the
doctor told him that it had been. He then
asked when Mr Gilbert would be allowed
to go home and the doctor told him that
he would have to stay in hospital for an-
other two weeks. Then Dr Millington asked the caller if he was a relative of the
patient.’ No,’ the patient answered,’ I am Mr John Gilbert.’

Last week at a dinner-party, the hostess
asked me to sit next to Mrs Rumbold.
Mrs Rumbold was a large, unsmiling lady
in a tight black dress. She did not even
look up when I took my seat beside her.
Her eyes were fixed on her plate and in a
short time, she was busy eating. I tried to
make conversation.
‘ A new play is coming to” The Globe”
soon,’ I said. ‘Will you be seeing it ?’
‘ No,’ she answered.
‘Will you be spending your holidays
abroad this year ?’ I asked.
‘ No,’ she answered.
‘ Will you be staying in England?’ I
asked.
‘ No,’ she answered.
In despair, I asked her whether she was enjoying her dinner.
‘ Young man,’ she answered,’ if you ate more and talked less, we would both
enjoy our dinner !’

‘Do you call that a hat ?’ I said to my
wife.
‘You needn’t be so rude about it,’ my
wife answered as she looked at herself in
the mirror.
I sat down on one of those modern
chairs with holes in it and waited. We had
been in the hat shop for half an hour and
my wife was still in front of the mirror.
‘ We mustn’t buy things we don’t need,’
I remarked suddenly. I regretted saying
it almost at once.
‘You needn’t have said that,’ my wife
answered.’ I need not remind you of that
terrible tie you bought yesterday.’
‘ I find it beautiful,’ I said. ‘A man can
never have too many ties.’
‘And a woman can’t have too many hats,’ she answered.
Ten minutes later we walked out of the shop together. My wife was wearing
a hat that looked like a lighthouse !

As we had had a long walk through one
of the markets of Old Delhi, we stopped
at a square to have a rest. After a time,
we noticed a snake-charmer with two
large baskets at the other side of the
square, so we went to have a look at him.
As soon as he saw us, he picked up a long
pipe which was covered with coins and
opened one of the baskets. When he be-
gan to play a tune, we had our first
glimpse of the snake. It rose out of the
basket and began to follow the move-
ments of the pipe.We were very much
surprised when the snake charmer sud-
denly began to play jazz tunes and popu-
lar modern songs. The snake, however,
continued to ‘dance’ slowly. It obviously could not tell the difference between
Indian music and jazz!

In 1929, three years after his flight over
the North Pole, the American explorer,
R. E. Byrd, successfully flew over the
South Pole for the first time. Though, at
first, Byrd and his men were able to take
a great many photographs of the moun-
tains that lay below, they soon ran into
serious trouble. At one point, it seemed
certain that their plane would crash. It
could only get over the mountains if it
rose to 10,000 feet. Byrd at once ordered
his men to throw out two heavy food
sacks. The plane was then able to rise and
it cleared the mountains by 400 feet.
Byrd now knew that he would be able to
reach the South Pole which was 300 miles
away, for there were no more mountains in sight. The aircraft was able to fly
over the endless white plains without difficulty.

Mrs Anne Sterling did not think of the
risk she was taking when she ran through
a forest after two men. They had rushed
up to her while she was having a picnic
at the edge of a forest with her children
and tried to steal her handbag. In the
struggle, the strap broke and, with the
bag in their possession, both men started
running through the trees. Mrs Sterling
got so angry that she ran after them. She
was soon out of breath, but she continued
to run. When she caught up with them,
she saw that they had sat down and were
going through the contents of the bag, so
she ran straight at them. The men got
such a fright that they dropped the bag
and ran away. ‘The strap needs mending,’ said Mrs Sterling later, ‘but they
did not steal anything.’

The whole village soon learnt that a large
sum of money had been lost. Sam Benton,
the local butcher, had lost his wallet while
taking his savings to the post-office. Sam
was sure that the wallet must have been
found by one of the villagers, but it was
not returned to him. Three months
passed, and then one morning, Sam found
his wallet outside his front door. It had
been wrapped up in newspaper and it
contained half the money he had lost, to-
gether with a note which said: ‘A thief,
yes, ‘but only 5o per cent a thief!’ Two
months later, some more money was sent
to Sam with another note:’Only 25 per
cent a thief now!’ In time, all Sam’s
money was paid back in this way. The last note said:’ I am 100 per cent honest
now!’

When a plane from London arrived at
Sydney airport, workers began to unload
a number of wooden boxes which con-
tained clothing. No one could account for
the fact that one of the boxes was ex-
tremely heavy. It suddenly occurred to
one of the workers to open up the box.
He was astonished at what he found. A
man was lying in the box on top of a pile
of woollen goods. He was so surprised at
being discovered that he did not even try
to run away. After he was arrested, the
man admitted hiding in the box before
the plane left London. He had had a long
and uncomfortable trip, for he had been
confined to the wooden box for over ten
hours. The man was ordered to pay &345 for the cost of the trip. The normal
price of a ticket is &230 !

A public house which was recently bought
by Mr Ian Thompson is up for sale. Mr
Thompson is going to sell it because it is
haunted. He told me that he could not go
to sleep one night because he heard a
strange noise coming from the bar. The
next morning, he found that the doors
had been blocked by chairs and the furni-
ture had been moved. Though Mr
Thompson had turned the lights off be-
fore he went to bed, they were on in the
morning. He also said that he had found
five empty whisky bottles which the
ghost must have drunk the night before.
When I suggested that some villagers
must have come in for a free drink, Mr
Thompson shook his head. The villagers have told him that they will not
accept the inn even if he gives it away.

Dentists always ask questions when it is
impossible for you to answer. My dentist
had just pulled out one of my teeth and
had told me to rest for a while. I tried to
say something, but my mouth was full
of cotton-wool. He knew I collected
birds’ eggs and asked me whether my
collection was growing. He then asked
me how my brother was and whether I
liked my new job in London. In answer
to these questions I either nodded or
made strange noises. Meanwhile, my
tongue was busy searching out the hole
where the tooth had been. I suddenly felt
very worried, but could not say anything.
When the dentist at last removed the
cotton-wool from my mouth, I was able to tell him that he had pulled out the
wrong tooth.

Tired of sleeping on the floor, a young
man in Teheran saved up for years to
buy a real bed. For the first time in his
life, he became the proud owner of a bed
which had springs and a mattress. Be-
cause the weather was very hot, he
carried the bed on to the roof of his
house. He slept very well for the first two
nights, but on the third night, a storm
blew up. A gust of wind swept the bed
off the roof and sent it crashing into the
courtyard below. The young man did not
wake up until the bed had struck the
ground. Although the bed was smashed
to pieces, the man was miraculously un-
hurt. When he woke up, he was still on
the mattress. Glancing at the bits of wood and metal that lay around him, the
man sadly picked up the mattress and carried it into his house. After he had put
it on the floor, he promptly went to sleep again.

I love travelling in the country, but I
don’t like losing my way. I went on an
excursion recently, but my trip took me
longer than I expected.
‘ I’m going to Woodford Green,’ I said
to the conductor as I got on the bus,’ but
I don’t know where it is.’
‘ I’ll tell you where to get off,’ answered
the conductor.
I sat in the front of the bus to get a good
view of the countryside. After some time,
the bus stopped. Looking round, I realized
with a shock that I was the only passenger
left on the bus.
‘ You’ll have to get off here,’ the con-
doctor said. ‘This is as far as we go.’
‘ Is this Woodford Green ?’ I asked.
‘Oh dear,’ said the conductor suddenly.’ I forgot to put you off.’
‘It doesn’t matter,’ I said. ‘I’ll get off here.’
‘We are going back now,’ said the conductor.
‘Well, in that case, I prefer to stay on the bus,’ I answered.

My friend, Herbert, has always been fat,
but things got so bad recently that he de-
cided to go on a diet. He began his diet
a week ago. First of all, he wrote out a
long list of all the foods which were for-
bidden. The list included most of the
things Herbert loves: butter, potatoes,
rice, beer, milk, chocolate, and sweets.
Yesterday I paid him a visit. I rang the
bell and was not surprised to see that
Herbert was still as fat as ever. He led me
into his room and hurriedly hid a large
parcel under his desk. It was obvious that
he Was very embarrassed. When I asked
him what he was doing, he smiled guiltily
and then put the parcel on the desk. He
explained that his diet was so strict that he had to reward himself occasionally.
Then he showed me the contents of the parcel. It contained five large bars of
chocolate and three bags of sweets!

We have just moved into a new house and
I have been working hard all morning. I
have ten trying to get my new room in
order. This has not been easy because I
own over a thousand books. To make
matters worse, the room is rather small,
so I have temporarily put my books on
the floor. At the moment, they cover every
inch of floor space and I actually have
to walk on them to get in or out of the
room. A short while ago, my sister helped
me to carry one of my old bookcases up
the stairs. She went into my room and
got a big surprise when she saw all those
books on the floor. ‘This is the prettiest
carpet I have ever seen,’ she said. She
gazed at it for some time then added, ‘You don’t need bookcases at all. You can
sit here in your spare time and read the carpet!’

At last firemen have put out a big forest
fire in California. Since then, they have
been trying to find out how the fire began.
Forest fire are often caused by broken
glass or by cigarette ends which people
carelessly throw away. Yesterday the fire-
men examined the ground carefully, but
were not able to find any broken glass.
They were also quite sure that a cigarette
end did not start the fire. This morning,
however, a fireman accidentally dis-
covered the cause. He noticed the remains
of a snake which was wound round the
electric wires of a 16,000-volt power line.
In this way, he was able to solve the
mystery. The explanation was simple but
very unusual. A bird had snatched up the snake from the ground and then
dropped it on to the wires. The snake then wound itself round the wires. When
it did so, it sent sparks down to the ground and these immediately started a fire.

After breakfast, I sent the children to
school and then I went to market. It was
still early when I returned home. The
children were at school, my husband was
at work and the house was quiet. So I
decided to make some tarts for tea. In a
short time I was busy mixing butter and
flour and my hands were soon covered
with sticky pastry. At exactly that mo-
ment, the telephone rang. Nothing could
have been more annoying. I picked up the
receiver between two sticky fingers and
was dismayed when I recognized the
voice of Mrs Bates. It took me ten minutes
to persuade her to ring back later. At last
I hung up the receiver. What a mess!
There was pastry on my fingers, on the telephone, and on the door-knobs. I had
no sooner got back to the kitchen than the door-bell rang loud enough to wake
the dead. This time it was the postman and he wanted me to sign for a registered
letter !

Dreams of finding lost treasure almost
came true recently. A new machine called
‘The Revealer’ has been invented and it
has been used to detect gold which has
been buried in the ground. The machine
was used in a cave near the sea-shore
where—it is said—pirates used to hide
gold. The pirates would often bury gold
in the cave and then fail to collect it.
Armed with the new machine, a search
party went into the cave hoping to find
buried treasure. The leader of the party
was examining the soil near the entrance
to the cave when the machine showed
that there was gold under the ground.
Very excited, the party dug a hole two
feet deep. They finally found a small gold coin which was almost worthless. The
party then searched the whole cave thoroughly but did not find anything except
an empty tin trunk. In spite of this, many people are confident that ‘The
Revealer’ may reveal something of value fairly soon.

Once a year a race is held for old cars. A
lot of cars entered for this race last year
and there was a great deal of excitement
just before it began. One of the most
handsome cars was a Rolls-Royce Silver
Ghost. The most unusual car was a Benz
which had only three wheels. Built in
1885, it was the oldest car taking part.
After a great many loud explosions, the
race began. Many of the cars broke down
on the course and some drivers spent
more time under their cars than in them !
A few cars, however, completed the race.
The winning car reached a speed of forty
miles an hour—much faster than any of
its rivals. It sped downhill at the end of
the race and its driver had a lot of trouble trying to stop it. The race gave every-
one a great deal of pleasure. It was very different from modern car races but no
less exciting.

A woman in blue jeans stood at the win-
dow of an expensive shop. Though she
hesitated for a moment, she finally went
in and asked to see a dress that was in the
window. The assistant who served her
did not like the way she was dressed.
Glancing at her scornfully, he told her
that the dress was sold. The woman
walked out of the shop angrily and de-
cided to punish the assistant next day.
She returned to the shop the following
morning dressed in a fur coat, with a
handbag in one hand and a long umbrella
in the other. After seeking out the rude
assistant she asked for the same dress.
Not realizing who she was, the assistant
was eager to serve her this time with great difficulty, he climbed into the shop
window to get the dress. As soon as she saw it, the woman said she did not like it.
She enjoyed herself making the assistant bring almost everything in the window
before finally buying the dress she had first asked for.

The tiny village of Frinley is said to
possess a ‘cursed tree’. Because the tree
was mentioned in a newspaper, the num-
ber of visitors to Frinley has now in-
creased. The tree was planted near a
church fifty years ago, but it is only in
recent years that it has gained an evil
reputation. It is said that if anyone touches
the tree, he will have bad luck; if he picks
a leaf, he will die. Many villagers believe
that the tree has already claimed a num-
ber of victims. The vicar has been asked
to have the tree cut down, but so far he
has refused. He has pointed out that the
tree is a useful source of income as tour-
ists have been coming from all parts of
the country to see it. In spite of all that has been said, the tourists-have been
picking leaves and cutting their names on the tree-trunk. So far, not one of them
has been struck down by sudden death!

Our dog, Rex, used to sit outside our
front gate and bark. Every time he wanted
to come into the garden he would bark
until someone opened the gate. As the
neighbours complained of the noise, my
husband spent weeks training him to
press his paw on the latch to let himself
in. Rex soon became an expert at opening
the gate. However, when I was going out
shopping last week, I noticed him in the
garden near the gate. This time he was
barking so that someone would let him
out ! Since then, he has developed another
bad habit. As soon as he opens the gate
from the outside, he comes into the gar-
den and waits until the gate shuts. Then
he sits and barks until someone lets him out. After this he immediately lets himself
in and begins barking again. Yesterday my husband removed the gate and Rex
got so annoyed we have not seen him since.

At a village fair, I decided to visit a
fortune-teller called Madam Bellinsky. I
went into her tent and she told me to sit
down. After I had given her some money,
she looked into a crystal ball and said: ‘A
relation of yours is coming to see you.
She will be arriving this evening and in-
tends to stay for a few days. The moment
you leave this tent, you will get a big
surprise. A woman you know well will
rush towards you. She will speak to you
and then she will lead you away from this
place. That is all.’
As soon as I went outside, I forgot all
about Madam Bellinsky because my wife
hurried towards me. ‘Where have you
been hiding ?’ she asked impatiently. ‘Your sister will be here in less than an
hour and we must be at the station to meet her. We are late already.’ As she
walked away, I followed her out of the fair.

In future, astronauts will be required to
descend from a spaceship while it is still
in space and to return to it. The ability
to do this will be necessary in future
flights to distant planets. Scientists are
now trying to discover if this is possible.
The spaceship Astra which left the earth
a short time ago, will be travelling three
hundred miles into space. At a certain
point, the Astra will stop for a short time
and an astronaut will attempt to leave the
stationary spaceship and then return to it.
We shall not know whether the experi-
ment has been successful until we have
received a radio message. The first
message is expected to arrive at 7
o’clock this evening. By that time, the Astra will have been flying through space
for seventeen hours and will have circled the earth a great many times. When
the first radio messages have been received, the results of the trip will be
announced immediately.

Firemen had been fighting the forest fire
for nearly three weeks before they could
get it under control. A short time before,
great trees had covered the countryside
for miles around. Now, smoke still rose
up from the warm ground over the deso-
late hills. Winter was coming on and the
hills threatened the surrounding villages
with destruction, for heavy rain would
not only wash away the soil but would
cause serious floods as well. When the
fire had at last been put out, the forest
authorities ordered several tons of a special
type of grass-seed which would grow
quickly. The seed was sprayed over the
ground in huge quantities by aeroplanes.
The planes had been planting seed for nearly a month when it began to rain. By
then, however, in many places the grass had already taken root. In place of the
great trees which had been growing there for centuries, patches of green had
begun to appear in the blackened soil.

Geoffrey Hampden has a large circle of
friends and is very popular at parties.
Everybody admires him for his fine sense
of humor—everybody, that is, except his
six-year-old daughter, Jenny. Recently,
one of Geoffrey’s closest friends asked
him to make a speech at a wedding recep-
tion. This is the sort of thing that Geoffrey
loves. He prepared the speech carefully
and went to the wedding with Jenny. He
had included a large number of funny
stories in the speech and, of course, it was
a great success. As soon as he had finished,
Jenny told him she wanted to go home.
Geoffrey was a little disappointed by this
but he did as his daughter asked. On the
way home, he asked Jenny if she had enjoyed the speech. To his surprise, she
said she hadn’t. Geoffrey asked her why this was so and she told him that she
did not like to see so many people laughing at him!

In l858, a French engineer, Aime Thome
de Gamond, arrived in England with a
plan for a twenty-one mile tunnel across
the English Channel. He said that it
would be possible to build a platform in
the centre of the Channel. This platform
would serve as a port and a railway sta-
lion. The tunnel would be well-ventilated
if tall chimneys were built above sea-level.
In 1860, a better plan was put forward by
an Englishman, William Low. He sug-
gested that a double railway tunnel should
be built. This would solve the problem of
ventilation, for if a train entered this
tunnel, it would draw in fresh air behind
it. Forty-two years later a tunnel was
actually begun. If, at the time, the British had not feared invasion, it would have
been completed. Recently, there has again been great interest in the idea of a
Channel Tunnel. If it is built, it will connect Britain to Europe for the first time
in history.

Last Christmas, the circus owner, Jimmy
Gates, decided to take some presents to a
children’s hospital. Dressed up as Father
Christmas and accompanied by a ‘guard
of honour’ of six pretty girls, he set off
down the main street of the city riding a
baby elephant called Jumbo. He, should
have known that the police would never
allow this sort of thing. A policeman
approached Jimmy and told him he ought
to have gone along a side-street as Jumbo
was holding up the traffic. Though Jimmy
agreed to go at once, Jumbo refused to
move. Fifteen policemen had to push
very hard to get him off the main street.
The police had a difficult time, but they
were most amused. ‘Jumbo must weigh a few tons,’ said a policeman afterwards,
‘so it was fortunate that we didn’t have to carry him. Of course, we should arrest
him, but as he has a good record, we shall let him off this time.’

The Hatheld Puffin is a modern aero-
plane, but its designer, Mr John Wim-
penny, is finding it difficult to get it off
the ground. The reason for this is that
this plane is also a bicycle. Its pilot has
to pedal hard to get it into the air. After
Mr Wimpenny had the plane built, it was
tested thoroughly. In 1961, it was the
first man-powered aircraft to fly half a
mile. While being flown by a champion
amateur cyclist in 1963, the plane crashed
on an airfield. Since then, Mr Wimpenny
has had it rebuilt. He has had the length
of the wings increased so that they now
measure 93 feet—almost as long as those
of a Dakota. Many people have shown
interest in this new and unusual sport. But though air cyclists may learn how to
fly over short distances, and may, eventually, even get across the English
Channel, it is doubtful whether they will ever cycle across the Atlantic.

Haroun Tazieff the Polish scientist, has
spent his life-time studying active vol-
canoes and deep caves in all parts of the
world. In 1948, he went to lake Kivu in
the Congo to observe a new volcano
which he later named Kituro. Tazieff was
able to set up his camp very close to the
volcano while it was erupting violently.
Though he managed to take a number of
brilliant photographs, he could not stay
near the volcano for very long. He
noticed that a river of liquid rock was
coming towards him. It threatened to sur-
round him completely, but Tazieff man-
aged to escape just in time. He waited
until the volcano became quiet and he was
able to return two days later. This time, he managed to climb into the mouth of
Kituro so that he could take photographs and measure temperatures. Tazieff has
often risked his life in this way. He has been able to tell us more about active
volcanoes than any man alive.

I crossed the street to avoid meeting him,
but he saw me and came running towards
me. ‘It was no use pretending that I had
not seen him, so I waved to him. I never
enjoy meeting Bert Dykes. He never has
anything to do. No matter how busy you
are, he always insists on coming with you.
I had to think of a way of preventing him
from following me around all morning.
‘Hullo, Bert,’ I said. ‘Fancy meeting
you here !’
‘Hullo, Elizabeth,’ Bert answered. ‘ I
was just wondering how to spend the
morning—until I saw you. You’re not
busy doing anything, are you ?’
‘ No, not at all,’ I answered.’ I’m going
to.. .’
‘Would you mind my coming with you ?’ he asked, before I had finished
speaking.
. Not at all,’ I lied, ‘but I’m going to the dentist.’
‘ Then I’ll come with you,’ he answered.’ There’s always plenty to read in the’
waiting room !’

I was being tested for a driving licence
for the third time. I had been asked to
drive in heavy traffic and had done so
successfully. After having been instructed
to drive out of town, I began to acquire
confidence. Sure that I had passed, I was
almost beginning to enjoy my test. The
examiner must have been pleased with
my performance, for he smiled and said,
‘Just one more thing, Mr Eames. Let us
suppose that a child suddenly crosses the
road in front of you. As soon as I tap on
the window, I want the car to be stopped
immediately.’ I continued driving and
after some time, the examiner tapped
loudly. Though the sound could be heard
clearly, it took me a long time to react. I suddenly pressed the brake pedal hard
and we were both thrown forward. The examiner looked at me sadly. ‘Mr
Eames,’ he said, in a mournful voice,’ you have just killed that child !’

During a bullfight, a drunk suddenly
wandered into the middle of the ring. The
crowd began to shout, but the drunk was
unaware of the danger. The bull was busy
with the matador at the time, but it sud-
denly caught sight of the drunk who was
shouting rude remarks and waving a red
cap. Apparently sensitive to criticism, the
bull forgot all about the matador and
charged at the drunk. The crowd sud-
denly grew quiet. The drunk, however,
seemed quite sure of himself. When the
bull got close to him, he clumsily stepped
aside to let it pass. The crowd broke into
cheers and the drunk bowed. By this time,
however, three men had come into the
ring and they quickly dragged the drunk to safety. Even the bull seemed to feel
sorry for him, for it looked on sympathetically until the drunk was out of the way
before once more turning its attention to the matador.

When you visit London, one of the first
things you will see is Big Ben, the famous
clock which can be heard all over the
world on the B.B.C. If the Houses of Par-
liament had hot been burned down in
1834, the great clock would never have
been erected. Big Ben takes its name
from Sir Benjamin Hall who was re-
sponsible for the making of the clock
when the new Houses of Parliament were
being built. It is not only of immense size,
but is extremely accurate as well. Officials
from Greenwich Observatory have the
clock checked twice a day. On the B.B.C.
you can hear the clock when it is actually
striking because microphones are con-
nected to the clock tower. Big Ben has rarely gone wrong. Once, however, it
failed to give the correct time. A painter who had been working on the tower
hung a pot of paint on one of the hands and slowed it down !

The great racing driver, Sir Malcolm
Campbell, was the first man to drive at
over 300 miles per hour. He set up a new
world record in September 1935 at Bonne-
ville Salt Flats, Utah. Bluebird, the car he
was driving, had been specially built for
him. It was over 30 feet in length and had
a 2500 horse-power engine. Although
Campbell reached a speed of over 304
miles per hour, he had great difficulty in
controlling the car because a tyre burst
during the first run. After his attempt,
Campbell was disappointed to learn that
his average speed had been 299 miles per
hour. However, a few days later, he was
told that a mistake had been made. His
average speed had been 301 miles per hour. Since that time, racing drivers have
reached speeds of over 400 miles an hour. Following his father’s footsteps many
years later, Sir Malcolm’s son, Donald, also set up a world record. Like his
father, he was driving a car called Bluebird.

Little boys who play truant from school
are unimaginative. A quiet day’s fishing,
or eight hours in a cinema seeing the same
film over and over again, is usually as far
as they get. They have all been put to
shame by a boy who, while playing
truant, travelled 1600 miles. He hitch-
hiked to Dover and, towards evening,
went into a boat to find somewhere to
sleep. When he woke up next morning,
he discovered that the boat had, in the
meantime, travelled to Calais. No one
noticed the boy as he crept off.From
there, he hitch-hiked to Paris in a lorry.
The driver gave him a few biscuits and a
cup of coffee and left him just outside the
city. The next car the boy stopped did not take him into the centre of Paris as he
hoped it would, but to Perpignan on the French-Spanish border. There he was
picked up by a policeman and sent back to England by the local authorities. He
has surely set up a record for the thousands of boys who dream of evading school.

An ancient bus stopped by a dry river
bed and a party of famous actors and
actresses got off.Dressed in dark glasses
and old clothes, they had taken special
precautions so that no one should recog-
nize them. But as they soon discovered,
disguises can sometimes be too perfect.
‘This is a wonderful place for a picnic,’
said Gloria Gleam.
‘ It couldn’t be better, Gloria,’ Brinksley
Meers agreed. ‘No newspaper men, no
film fans! Why don’t we come more
often ?’
Meanwhile, two other actors, Rockwall
Slinger and Merlin Greeves, had carried
two large food baskets to a shady spot
under some trees. When they had all made themselves comfortable, a stranger
appeared. He looked very angry. ‘Now you gut out of here, all of you!’ he
shouted: ‘ I’m sheriff here. Do you see that notice ? It says” No Camping”-in
case you can’t read !’
‘ Look, sheriffi,’said Rockwall,’ don’t be too hard on us. I’m Rockwall Slinger
and this is Merlin Greeves.’
‘ Oh, is it ?’ said the sheriff with a sneer. ‘Well, I’m Brinksley Meers, and my
other name is Gloria Gleam. Now you get out of here fast !’

When a light passenger plane flew off
course some time ago, it crashed in the
mountains and its pilot was killed. The
only passengers, a young woman and her
two baby daughters, were unhurt. It was
the middle of winter. Snow lay thick on
the ground. The woman knew that the
nearest village was miles away. When it
grew dark. she turned a suil-case into a
bed and put the children inside it, cover-
ing them with all the clothes she could
find. During the night, it got terribly
cold. The woman kept as near as she
could to the children and even tried to get
into the case herself, but it was too small.
Early,next morning she heard planes
passing overhead and wondered how she could send a signal. Then she had an
idea. She stamped out the letters’ SOS’ in the snow. Fortunately, a pilot saw
the signal and sent a message by radio to the nearest town. It was not long before
a helicopter arrived on the scene to rescue the survivors of the plane

‘To end our special new’s bulletin,’ said
the voice of the television announcer,’ we
are taking you to the macaroni fields of
Calabria. Macaroni has been grown in
this area for over six hundred years. Two
of the leading growers, Giuseppe Moldova
and Riccardo Brabante, tell me that they
have been expecting a splendid crop this
year and harvesting has begun earlier
than usual. Here you can see two workers
who, between them, have just finished
cutting three cart-loads of golden brown
macaroni stalks. The whole village has
been working day and night gathering
and threshing this year’s croP before the
September rains. On the right, you can
see Mrs Brabante herself. She has been helping her husband for thirty years now.
Mrs Brabante is talking to the manager of the local factory where the crop is
processed. This last scene shows you what will happen at the end of the harvest :
the famous Calabrian macaroni-eating competition ! Signor Fratelli, the present
champion, has won it every year since 1961. And that ends our special bulletin
for today, Thursday, April 1st. We are now returning you to the studio.’

The mummy of an Egyptian woman who
died in 800 B.C. has just had an operation.
The mummy is that of Shepenmut who
was once a singer in the Temple of
Thebes. As there were strange marks on
the X-ray plates taken of the mummy,
doctors have been trying to find out
whether the woman died of a rare disease.
The only way to do this was to operate.
The operation, which lasted for over four
hours,proved to be very difficult because
of the hard resin which covered the skin.
The doctors removed a section of the
mummy and sent it to a laboratory. They
also found something which the X-ray
of the god Duamutef.This god which has the head of a cow was normally placed
inside a mummy. The doctors have not yet decided how the woman died. They
feared that the mummy would fall to pieces when they cut it open, but for-
tunately this has not happened. The mummy successfully survived the operation.

After reading an article entitled ‘Cigarette
Smoking and Your Health’ I lit a cigar-
ette to calm my nerves. I smoked with
concentration and pleasure as I was sure
that this would be my last cigarette. For
a whole week I did not smoke at all and
during this time, my wife suffered
terribly. I had all the usual symptoms of
someone giving up smoking: a bad tem-
per and an enormous appetite. My friends
kept on offering me cigarettes and cigars.
They made no effort to hide their amuse-
ment whenever I produced a packet of
sweets from my pocket. After seven days
of this I went to a party. Everybody
around me was smoking and I felt ex-
tremely uncomfortable. When my old friend Brian urged me to accept a cigarette,
it was more than I could bear. I took one guiltily, lit it and smoked with satis-
faction. My wife was delighted that things had returned to normal once more.
Anyway, as Brian pointed out, it is the easiest thing in the world to give up
smoking. He himself has done it lots of times!

I used to travel by air a great deal when
I was a boy. My parents,used to live in
South America and I used to fly there
from Europe in the holidays. An air-
hostess would take charge of me and I
never had an unpleasant experience. I
am used to travelling by air and only on
one occasion have I ever felt frightened.
After taking off, we were flying low over
the city and slowly gaining height, when
the plane suddenly turned round and
flew back to the airport. While we were
waiting to land, an air-hostess told us to
keep calm and to get off the plane quietly
as soon as it had touched down. Every-
body on board was worried and we were
curious to find out what had happened. Later we learnt that there was a very
important person on board. The police had been told that a bomb had been
planted on the plane. After we had landed, the plane was searched thoroughly.
Fortunately, nothing was found and five hours later we were able to take off
again.

Perhaps the most extraordinary building
of the nineteenth century was the Crystal
Palace, which was built in Hydd Park
for the Great Exhibition of 1851. The
Crystal Palace was different from all
other buildings in the world, for it was
made of iron and glass. It was one of the
biggest buildings of all time and a lot of
people from many countries came to see
it. A great many goods were sent to the
exhibition from various parts of the
world. There was also a great deal of
machinery on display. The most wonder-
ful piece of machinery on show was
Nasmyth’s steam hammer. Though in
those days, travelling was not as easy as
it is today, steam boats carried thousands
of visitors across the Channel from
Europe. On arriving in England, they were taken to the Crystal Palace by train.
There were six million visitors in all, and the profits from the exhibition were
used to build museums and colleges. Later, the Crystal Palace was moved to
South London. It remained one of the most famous buildings in the world until
it was burnt down in 1936.

When he had killed the guard, the prisoner
of war quickly dragged him into the
bushes. Working rapidly in the darkness,
he soon changed into the dead man’s
clothes. Now, dressed in a blue uniform
and with a rifle over his shoulder, the
prisoner marched boldly up and down in
front of the camp. He could hear shout-
ing in the camp itself. Lights were blazing
and men were running here and there:
they had just discovered that a prisoner
had escaped. At that moment, a large
black car with four officers inside it,
stopped at the camp gates. The officers
got out and the prisoner stood to attention
and saluted as they passed. When they
had gone, the driver of the car came towards him. The man obviously wanted
to talk. He was rather elderly with grey hair and clear blue eyes. The prisoner
felt sorry for him, but there was nothing else he could do. As the man came near,
the prisoner knocked him to the ground with a sharp blow. Then, jumping into
the car, he drove off as quickly as he could.

Fishermen and sailors sometimes claim
to have seen monsters in the sea. Though
people have often laughed at stories told
by seamen, it is now known that many of
these ‘monsters’ which have at times
been sighted are simply strange fish.
Occasionally, unusual creatures are
washed to the shore, but they are rarely
caught out at sea. Some time ago, how-
ever, a peculiar fish was caught near
Madagascar. A small fishingboat was
carried miles out to sea by the powerful
fish as it pulled on the line. Realizing that
this was no ordinary fish, the fisherman
made every effort not to damage it in any
way. When it was eventually brought to shore, it was found to be over thirteen
feet long. It had a head like a horse, big blue eyes, shining silver skin, and a
bright red tail, The fish, which has since been sent to a museum where it is being
examined by a scientist, is called an oarfish. Such creatures have rarely been seen
alive by man as they live at a depth of six hundred feet.

The former Prime Minister, Mr Went-
worth Lane, was defeated in the recent
elections. He is now retiring from political
life and has gone abroad. My friend,
Crawley, has always been a fanatical
opponent of Mr Lane’s Radical Progres-
sive Party. After the elections, Crawley
went to the former Prime Minister’s
house.When he asked if Mr Lane lived
there, the policeman on duty told him
that since his defeat, the ex-Prime Minis-
ter had gone abroad. On the following
day, Crawley went to the house again.
The same policeman was just walking
slowly past the entrance, when Crawley
asked the same question. Though a little
suspicious this time, the policeman gave him the same answer. The day after,
Crawley went to the house once more and asked exactly the same question. This
time, the policeman lost his temper.’ I told you yesterday and the day before
yesterday,’ he shouted, ‘Mr Lane was defeated in the elections. He has retired
from political life and gone to live abroad !’
‘ I know,’ answered Crawley,’ but I love to hear you say it !’

Busmen have decided to go on strike next
week. The strike is due to begin on Tues-
day. No one knows how long it will last.
The busmen have stated that the strike
will continue until general agrement is
reached about pay and working condi-
tions. Most people believe that the strike
will last for at least a week. Many owners
of private cars are going to offer ‘free
rides’ to people on their way to work.
This will relieve pressure on the trains to
some extent. Meanwhile, a number of
university students have volunteered to
drive buses while the strike lasts. AIl the
young men are expert drivers, but before
they drive any of the buses, they will have
to pass a special test. The students are going to take the test in two days’ time.
Even so, people are going to find it difficult to get to work. But so far, the public
has expressed its gratitude to the students in letters to the Press. Only one or
two people have objected that the students will drive too fast!

I have just received a letter from my old
school informing me that my former head-
master, Mr Regmald Page, will be retiring
next week. Pupils of the school, old and
new, will be sending him a present to
mark the occasion. All those who have
contributed towards the gift will sign
their names in a large album which will
be sent to the headmaster’s home. We
shall all remember Mr Page for his
patience and understanding and for the
kindly encouragement he gave us when
we went so unwillingly to school. A great
many former pupils will be attending a
farewell dinner in his honour next Thurs-
day. It is a curious coincidence that the
day before his retirement, Mr Page will have been teaching for a total of forty
years. After he has retired, he will devote himself to gardening. For him, this
will be an entirely new hobby. But this does not matter, for, as he has often
remarked, one is never too old to learn.

As the man tried to swing the speed-boat
round, the steering-wheel came away in
his hands. He waved desperately to his
companion, who had been water-skiing
for the last fifteen minutes. Both men had
hardly had time to realize what was hap-
pening when they were thrown violent1y
into the sea. The speed-boat had struck
a buoy, but it continued to move very
quickly across the water. Both men had
just begun to swim towards the shore.
when they noticed with dismay that the
speed-boat was moving in a circle. It now
came straight towards them at tremendous
speed. In less than a minute, it roared
past them only a few feet away. After it
had passed, they swam on as quickly as they could because they knew that the
boat would soon return. They had just had enough time to swim out of danger
when the boat again completed a circle. On this occasion,however, it had slowed
down considerably. The petrol had nearly all been used up. Before long, the
noise dropped completely and the boat began to drift gently across the

‘At the time the murder was committed,
I was travelling on the 8.0 o’clock train
to London,’ said the man.
‘Do you always catch such an early
train ?’ asked the inspector.
‘Of course I do,’ answered the man.’ I
must be at work at 10.0 o’clock. My em-
ployer will confirm that I was there on
time.’
‘ Would a later train get you to work on
time ?’ asked the inspector.
‘ I suppose it would, but I never catch
a later train.’
‘At what time did you arrive at the
station ?’
‘At ten to eight. I bought a paper and
waited for the train.’
‘And you didn’t notice anything unusual ?’
‘ Of course not.’
‘I suggest,’ said the inspector, ‘that you are not telling the truth. I suggest
that you did not catch the 8.0 o’clock train, but that you caught the 8.25 which
would still get you to work on time. You see, on the morning of the murder, the
8.0 o’clock train did not run at all. It brokedown at Ferngreen station and was
taken off the line.’

Six men have been trapped in a mine for
seventeen hours. If they are not brought
to the surface soon they may lose their
lives. However, rescue operations are
proving difficult. If explosives are used,
vibrations will cause the roof of the mine
to collapse. Rescue workers are therefore
drilling a hole on the north side of the
mine. They intend to bring the men up
in a special capsule. If there had not been
a hard layer of rock beneath the soil, they
would have completed the job in a few
hours. As it is, they have been drilling for
sixteen hours and they still have a long
way to go. Meanwhile, a microphone,
which was lowered into the mine two
hours ago, has enabled the men to keep in touch with the closest relatives.
Though they are running out of food and drink, the men are cheerful and con-
fident that they will get out soon. They have been told that rescue operations are
progressing smoothly. If they knew how difficult it was to drill through the hard
rock, they would lose heart.

People will do anything to see a free
show—even if it is a bad one. When the
news got round that a variety show would
be presented at our local cinema by the
P. and U. Bird Seed Company, we all
rushed to see it. We had to queue for
hours to get in and there must have been
several hundred people present just be-
fore the show began. Unfortunately, the
show was one of the dullest we have ever
seen. Those who failed to get in need not
have felt disappointed as many of the
artistes who should have appeared did not
come. The only funny things we heard
that evening came from the advertiser at
the beginning of the programme. He was
obviously very nervous and for some minutes stood awkwardly before the
microphone. As soon as he opened his mouth, everyone burst out laughing. We
all know what the poor man should have said, but what he actually said was:
‘This is the Poo and Ee Seed Bird Company. Good ladies, evening and
gentlemen !’

Though Brazil is one of the richest coun-
tries in the world, much of it has not yet
been developed. It was mainly for this
reason that the Brazilian government
decided to have a new city built 600 miles
north-west of Rio de Janeiro. Designed
by the great architect Lucio Costa, the
new city, Brasilia, replaced Rio de Janeiro
as the capital of Brazif in 1960. Brasilia
has been carefully planned for modern
living. Its wide roads, which can take
fourteen lanes of traffic, have been kept
away from living areas. Children do not
have to cross busy streets to go to school.
Housewives can visit-shopping centres on
foot, for in these specially designed living
areas, cars are unnecessary. At first, the government had great difficulty in per-
suading people to leave Rio and to settle in Brasilia. Since 1960, however, the
population has been growing all the time. Brasilia has quickly established itself
as the capital of the country. The idea to have the capital moved so far inland
will have a great effect on the future of Brazil.

A pilot noticed a balloon which seemed
to be making for a Royal Air Force Sta-
tion nearby. He informed the station at
once, but no one there was able to explain
the mystery. The officer in the control
tower was very angry when he heard the
news, because balloons can be a great
danger to aircraft. He said that someone
might by spying on the station and the
pilot was ordered to keep track of the
strange object. The pilot managed to
circle the balloon for some time. He
could make out three men in a basket
under it and one of them was holding
field-glasses. When the balloon was over
the station, the pilot saw one of the men
taking photographs. Soon afterwards, the balloon began to descend and it
landed near an airfield. The police were called in, but they could not arrest any-
one, for the basket contained two Members of Parliament and the Commanding
Officer of the station! As the Commanding Officer explained later, one half of
the station did not know what the other half was doing !

It must have been about two in the morn-
ing when I returned home. I tried to
wake up my wife by ringing the door-bell,
but she was fast asleep, so I got a ladder
from the shed in the garden, put it against
the wall, and began climbing towards the
bedroom window. I was almost there
when a sarcastic voice below said,’ I don’t
think the windows need cleaning at this
time of the night.’ I looked down and
nearly fell off the ladder when I saw a
policeman. I immediately regretted an-
swering in the way I did, but I said,’I
enjoy cleaning windows at night.’
‘So do I,’answered the policeman in
the same tone. ‘Excuse my interrupting
you. I hate to interrupt a man when he’s busy working, but would you mind
coming with me to the station ?’
‘Well, I’d prefer to stay here,’ I said. ‘You see, I’ve forgotten my key.’
‘Your what ?’ he called.
‘My key,’ I shouted.’
Fortunately, the shouting woke up my wife who opened the window just as
the policeman had started to climb towards me.

One of the most famous monuments in
the world, the Statue of Liberty, was
presented to the United States of America
in the nineteenth century by the people
of France. The great statue, which was
designed by the sculptor Auguste Barth-
oldi, took ten years to complete. The
actual figure was made of copper sup-
ported by a metal framework which had
been especially constructed by Eiffel. Be-
fore it could be transported to the United
States, a site had to be found for it and a
pedestal had to be built. The site chosen
was an island at the entrance of New York
Harbour. By 1884, a statue which was
151 feet tall, had been erected in Paris.
The following year, it was taken to pieces and sent to America. By the end of
October 1886, the statue had been put together again and it was officially pre-
sented to the American people by Bartholdi. Ever since then, the great monu-
ment has been a symbol of liberty for the millions of people who have passed
through New York Harbour to make their homes in America.

Experiments have proved that children
can be instructed in swimming at a very
early age. At a special swimming pool in
Los Angeles, children become expert at
holding their breath under water even be-
fore they can walk. Babies of two months
old do not appear to be reluctant to
enter the water, It is not long before they
are so accustomed to swimming that they
can pick up weights from the floor of the
pool. A game that is very popular with
these young swimmers is the underwater
tricycle race. Tricycles are lined up on
the floor of the pool seven feet under
water. The children compete against each
other to reach the other end of the pool.
Many pedal their tricycles, but most of them prefer to push or drag them. Some
children can cover the whole length of the pool without coming up for breath
even once. Whether they will ever become future Olympic champions, only
time will tell. Meanwhile, they should encourage those among us who cannot
swim five yards before they are gasping for air.

When the Ambassador of Escalopia re-
turned home for lunch, his wife got a
shock. He looked pale and his clothes
were in a frightful state.
‘What has happened ?’ she asked.
‘How did your clothes get into such a
mess ?’
‘A fire-extinguisher, my dear,’ answered
the Ambassador drily. ‘University stu-
dents set the Embassy on fire this morn-
ing.’
‘Good heavens!’ exclaimed his wife.
‘And where were you at the time ?’
‘I was in my office as usual,’ answered
the Ambassador. ‘The fire broke out in
the basement. I went down immediately.
of course, and that fool, Horst,aimed a fire-extinguisher at me. He thought I was
on fire. I must definitely get that fellow posted.’
The Ambassador’s wife went on asking questions, when she suddenly noticed
a big hole in her husband’s hat.
‘And how can you explain that ?’ she asked.
‘Oh, that,’ said the Ambassador. ‘Someone fired a shot through my office
window. Accurate, don’t you think ? Fortunately, I wasn’t wearing it at the time.
If I had been, I would not have been able to get home for lunch

A Festival for the Dead is held once a year
in Japan. This festival is a cheerful occa-
sion, for on this day, the dead are said to
return to their homes and they are wel-
comed by the living. As they are expected
to be hungry after their long journey,
food is laid out for them. Specially-made
lanterns are hung outside each house to
help the dead to find their way. All night
long, people dance and sing. In the early
morning, the food that had been laid out
for the dead is thrown into a river or into
the sea as it is considered unlucky for
anyone living to eat it. In towns that are
near the sea, the tiny lanterns which had
been hung in the streets the night before,
are placed into the water when the festival is over. Thousands of lanterns slowly
drift out to sea guiding the dead on their return journey to the other world. This
is a moving spectacle, for crowds of people stand on the shore watching the
lanterns drifting away until they can be seen no more.